Round 30: Grocery Gangfight Pt. 2, Dire StraitsLocation: Denmark, WisconsinWeather Conditions: Snowing (12.5 inches)Time: Early Morning Hawk pops out of cover and continues to empty out his pistol on Hawk's Assault Squad. (1 vs. 5) He continues to destroy the scenery while shooting in the direction of either man and failing to hit them, putting a hole in a can of beans and then perforating a melon with his successive failed shots. (4 vs. 1) The assault team retaliates and a rifle bullet tears into Hawk's ear and sends him to the ground.
Execute/Dumbo.exe shakes off as much moisture as he can, which is quite a lot considering how much of it was absorbed by his now damp heavy royal robes and wing feathers. (6) His trek back is quite uneventful, the only exciting part coming when he nearly trips over some vines as he does his best to navigate the thick foliage and flora of the Aztec jungle. A couple hours later, he arrives on the outskirt of the bustling central city where he had originally departed from. The wooden gate is immediately opened while the guards bow to him on one knee.
Greatness stays in waiting at the top of the grocery store, one hand tight around the shaft of a Javelin, ready to pounce at a moments notice if anyone tried to exit the building. At the current time, everyone was staying inside, but he was prepared to send a spear through the top of someone's skull as soon as he saw them.
Ukrainian Ranger launches another kick at Nunzillor, (9+2 vs. 5) aiming at the rifle this time. The kick comes from underneath and hits it directly in the center, sending it flying upwards from Nun's hands. The force is enough to propel the gun into the soft, Styrofoam roof and break through the material, resulting in it now being half-stuck in the pliable substance. (To visualize this, imagine a thumbtack penetrating Styrofoam, and now replace that thumbtack with the gun, its barrel being the stuck 'sharp' part.) The gun is now much too high up for someone to simply jump up and grab it. Ranger isn't done, and follow's this up with a single punch, (2+3 vs. 7) giving Nunzillor the chance to prove that she's no chump when it comes to close-combat. Nunzillor blocks the hook aimed at her head and shoves Ranger away to prevent another quick attack from commencing. (3 vs. 1) Nunzillor further sends UR back with a quick left jab to the nose, sending its recipient backwards a couple steps.
Elephant Parade offers his horse up as a means of transportation to the emergency relief effort, provided they return it once the evacuation is done; his offer is immediately accepted and his horse is led away, to be treated and then subsequently used for a good purpose. Elephant's latest experiences inspire him to compose a song which he entitles, "Shot Someone in the Head with a Musket In 2016." (6+2) He tests it out on a few evacuees waiting for their turn to head out and he is given a positive reception. The common critiques are that he's a little pitchy and it could use instrumentation.
"No sir, is there anything that you need my help with chap?" The emergency responder is a bit confused by Abstract calling him both a 'sir' and a 'chap, but quickly gets over it. "We can take it from here, but if you aren't doing anything and want to help out, why don't you volunteer for the Denmark Evacuation Effort? It looks like you have a car and they need all the help they can get."
Nunzillor chastises her Assault Team while maintaining a fighting stance and keeping her eyes on Ukrainian Ranger.
"I'm fine, but identify your targets before you fire!" Nunzillor had just lost her rifle, so it would have to come down to Plan B, which was activated by drawing her Katana from its sheathe on her hip. (2 vs. 5+2) Nunzillor rushes forward and slashes with the blade, yet Ukrainian is able to weave under the blade and escape it; it seems like she's had experienced in this type of combat before. (10+2 vs. 3) Ukrainian performs a spinning jump kick that connects with the side of Nunzillor's head. The initial hit to the head did a moderate amount of damage, but the true impact came from the kinetic energy that sent Nunzillor's whole body flying into the corner of the counter. Nunzillor hits the counter full-force neck force, causing the right side of her neck to be deeply impaled on the sharp corner. Nunzillor wounds sprays blood all over the counter and floor as if half of her entire neck had been slit by a Bowie knife.
The Assault Team was too occupied to notice that their leader had recently become physically attached to the other end of the counter, a good ten feet away from them. After hitting Hawk once, the two militia pointed their guns over the side of the counter, trying to hit him before he could fire back. (9 vs. 2) Hawk attempts to multitask, shooting with one hand and trying to eat lettuce with the other. This would spell disaster for him, as he doesn't have enough time to do either with his attention divided. For all of his efforts, he is rewarded with two shots in the chest, pinning him to the ground. His body trembles as it takes the force of the bullets, almost like they were bouncing him off of the floor, blood spurting from his mouth; this causes him to drop the lettuce as well.
Mobile Team received new orders from Nunzillor right before she engaged in one-on-one combat with UR. The snowmobile stops and turns around, zooming towards the small hill which Tiny Chuck had identified his location as. "Chuck what is your status?" "Ah!-What the-woah! Come help me goddammit!" The snowmobile riders spot the conflict at the top of the hill, which was Chuck dodging some sort of huge bludgeon being wielded by a giant man. In this situation, using the Grenade Launcher would endanger Chuck, so the Mobile Team props the LMG on the seat of the snowmobile, one man aiming and firing while another one held the ammo and keeping it steady. (5 vs. 10) The bullets are inaccurate, especially since the gun has to be fired at an upwards angle, and the unidentified enemy could not care less that a machine gun was firing at him.
With bullets whizzing around him, Salsacookies lowers the Barbell Hammer for a moment to charge at Tiny Chuck shoulder-first. (8+2 vs. 6) Chuck does not see this coming and allows Salsacookies shoulder to hit him right in the shoulder plexus. Salsacookies takes Chuck down, completely winded from the surprise tackle. (4 vs. 5-2) Salsacookies raises up the mighty hammer, eliciting panic in Chuck, which gives him enough energy to scurry away on his back. He most of his body out of the way before the hammer comes down, but it still lands on his right foot, fracturing numerous bones inside of it. Chuck lets out a mighty yell of pain that echoes to the bottom of the hill. One of the Mobile Team members stops shooting his gun for a moment, "Uh oh. That ain't good."
(7 vs. 1) Chuck, without many options left, goes for a forbidden technique and kicks Salsacookies between the legs. Salsacookies makes a noise that no man of his size should be able to make and falls downwards, clutching the effect area and dropping his Barbell Hammer, letting it roll down the hill away from him. This allows Chuck enough time to stand up, grab his rifle and hobble away.
(2) At the bottom of the hill, one Mobile Member points to a metallic object coming tumbling down the hill at high speed. He points at it, "Hey, do you see that?" His partner squints his eyes, "What are you-, oh yeah, I see it. Boy, that's coming fast, ain't it?" The Barbell Hammer launches off of a naturally created ramp in the hill and barrels at the mobile team. The unweighted end hits one of the Mobile militia in the head, knocking him out instantly, he is the lucky one. The weighted end hits the LMG, reducing it into a chunk of metal, which absorbs the force of the hammer and is sent at the man standing right behind it, flying into his face. The effect is similar to tapping a grape with a sledgehammer.
Name: Execute/Dumbo.exe
Gender: Male
Nationality: Iranian/Russian
Karaindash: +2 Administration, +2 Diplomacy
Rufa Mae Quinto: +2 Acting, +2 Singing
The Other Face of Janus: +Ability: Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation
Arman Sedghi: +2 Engineering
Sviatopolk I of Kiev: +2 Military Strategy, +2 Assassination, +Loyal Boyar Subject
Status: Tip of Left Wing on Fire
Kills: 0
Assets: Loyal Boyar Subject (Dagger), Shortsword
Abilities:
Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation - Can open up portals in paintings to travel in and out of them. A strange and enigmatic power, use it carefully.
Wings of Quetzalcoatl - Can fly.
War Party:
1 War Party Commander (War Banner, Obsidian Sword)
3 Officers
14 Soldiers
Standard War Party Equipment - Bows, Obsidian Spears, Cloth Armor, Hardwood Helmets
Looted European Equipment: Muskets, Crossbows, Rapiers, Steel Armor, Steel Helmets
Name: Twinwolf
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/Yugoslavian
Johnny Strange: +2 Juggling, +2 Marksmanship, +Abilities: Black Hole Swallow Technique + Fire-breath Manipulator
Sluggish schizophrenia: +2 Psychological Torture
Dimitrije Ljotić: +2 Fascist Nationalism, +2 Law, +Judge's Suit
Black Thunder: +Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area)
Kartouwe: +Kartouwe Cannon
Status: Normal
Assets: Judge's Suit, Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area), Kartouwe Cannon
Abilities:
Black Hole Swallow Technique - Swallows any dangerous weapon or object that can fit inside his stomach with no negative effects.
Fire-breath Manipulator - Inhales a nearby source of fire and then can breathe it out of his mouth.
Name: Hawk132
Gender: Male
Nationality: Chilean
Lucho Gatica: +2
Bolero Dancing, +2 Acting
Vegetable juice: +Ability: Juice Up!
Jim Webb: +2 Naval Ability, +2 Politics, +Politican's Suit, +Ability: I want my 10 Minutes!
Bongolo: +2 Medic, +2 Romance
North American cuisine: +2 Cooking American Cuisine, +Grill
Status: Right Ear Torn [-2 Hearing, Bleeding], Chest Shot Twice [Extreme Bleeding]
Assets: Politician's Suit, Grill, Riot Gun [4/6], Police Pistol [5/9]
Abilities:
Juice Up - Can instantly turn any vegetable he comes in contact to into juice. Also, metabolizes vegetable juice very quickly to the point it can actually heal him. E.g., 10 Juiced carrots = 1 Medkit.
I want my 10 Minutes! (Passive) - Constantly demands to have a full, uninterrupted ten minutes so that he can say what he wants. Super effective against Anderson Cooper.
Name: Nunzillor
Gender: Female
Nationality: Swedish/Japanese
Dag Bjørndalen: +2 Skiing, +2 Rifles, +Skis, +Skiing Poles, +Small Rifle, +Skiing Outfit
Nikolay Basov: +2 Physics
Santa Rosa hitchhiker murders: +Ability: A Deadly Ride
Beaumont-Hamel: +2 Charging Assaults, +2 Pain Resistance
Amakusa 1637: +2 Leading Rebellions, +Katana
Status: Half-Decapitated (Mortal Wound)
Assets: Skis, Skiing Poles, Skiing Outfit, Katana, Sympathizing Doctor Business Card, Handheld Radio Communicator
Abilities:
A Deadly Ride - If a character goes on a vehicular ride with Nunzillor, she gets +4 in rolls against them. If they are killed, Nunzillor will never be officially connected to the murder.
Militia:
Tiny Chuck (Leader) - Military Sniper Rifle [Foot Fractured]
4 Sniper Team - Hunting Rifles [Lost Contact]
3 Assault Team - Assault Rifles [1 Knee Injured]
1 Explosives Team - Grenade Launcher, Snowmobile [1 Unconscious]
Name: AbstractTraitorHero
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/American
Aston Martin DP212: +Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car
Joel Halliwell: +2 Horseback Riding, +2 Inspiration, +English WWI Uniform
Dzhamal Otarsultanov: +2 Wrestling
Ira Shafer: +2 Law, +2 Politics
Jon Denning: +2 Driving
Status: Normal
Assets: Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car, English WWI Uniform, Green Bay Amateur Wrestling Champion Belt
Name: Ukrainian Ranger
Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Gerri Elliot: +2 Business, +Business Suit
Alwyn Bramley-Moore: +2 Politics, +2 Writing, +2 WWI Combat
Henri Bouillard: +2 Theology
J.C. Penny: +2 Business (+4 Total), +1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area
Chad Power: +2 Martial Arts
Joseph Solvinto: +2 Boxing (+3 Punching Total)
Status: Left Forearm Fractured [-2 to Two-handed Actions], Bruised Nose
Kills: 1
Assets: Business Suit, 1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area
Name: Elephant Parade
Gender: Male
Nationality: Azerbaijani
Azerbaijani Art: +2 Art
Sean Buckley: +2 Entrepreneurship, +Thoroughbred Racehorse, +Business Suit
Thomas Wentworth: +2 Muskets, +1 Swords, +Musket, +British Empire Officer's Saber
LaVern Gibson Championship Cross Country Course: +2 Agility & Speed in Natural Environments
Jake Deitchler: +2 Wrestling
Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory
Status: Left Foot Shot (-2 to Agility, Moderate Bleeding)
Assets: Thoroughbred Racehorse (Lower Torso Shot, Bleeding), Musket [0/1], British Empire Officer's Saber
Name: Salsacookies
Gender: Male
Nationality: Italian/Greek
Marco Bortolami: +2 Tackling
Songo River Queen II: +Songo River Queen II Riverboat
David J. Rudolph: +2 Scholarly Writing (+3 Scholarly Writing on Judaism)
Revolving Door: +Ability: Revolving Door Revolution
Perikles Kakousis: +2 Strength, +Barbell, +Olympian Weightlifter's Garb
Status: Groin Kicked [-2 to first roll next turn]
Assets: Songo River Queen II Riverboat, Barbell Hammer (Requires exceptional Strength to wield), Olympian Weightlifter's Garb
Abilities:
Revolving Door Revolution - Once per turn, can turn a normal door into a revolving door.
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