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Voting closed: October 11, 2015, 03:00:40 am

[TCM]

Twinwolf's conversation with the store clerk, particularly on the subject of new strange events around town, seems to distract him from his initial suspicion. "That...stuff...that's going on outside, I don't want any part of that. Seems awfully unholy to me, fire comin' out of the sky, and I hear tales of people who can jump over a building or read minds and other baloney. I know the Wikipedia Council randomly picks each city to host its games but...I really wish they didn't pick us. We're just a small, family oriented simple town. Why'd they have to come here of all places?"

This is the last exchange with your character, Twinwolf. So far it has been successful in diverting the store clerk's attention from his suspicious inquiry.

[FallacyofUrist]

"AGH! But... I bet that hurt you more than it hurt me! *huff.... huff...* You know what! I've got... *huff*... a surprise for you!"

Fallacy removes one of the land mines from her hammerspace, arms it, and lobs it at mr. horseman.

[AbstractTraitorHero]

OH NO!
Dramatically open the door and rush to see if the truck driver is alright if he isent try and get him out call ambulance if so.

[Ukrainian Ranger]

Wait for Hawk then go to the sounds of gunfire coming from Elephant Parade and Fallacy of Urist duel. Use the backdoor exist from the shop if there are is one

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Are the ship cannons facing the other ships, perchance?

[TCM]

Are the ship cannons facing the other ships, perchance?

Since it's the middle ship, they are.

[High tyrol]

after parking the airplane in a hanger  write a poem about a ww2 dogfight then if time permits fill up the race cars fuel tank.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

Place the sacks underneath any possible structural weak points (Using the engineering bonus I have), stick some fuse in the of the sacks, and grab some sort of firestarting tool, light the fuse, then fly, fly away.

[TCM]

Round 28: A Short Duel
Location: Denmark, Wisconsin
Weather Conditions: Snowing (12.5 inches)
Time: Early Morning

Elephant swings his horse around and sheathes his sword, swapping it out for his Musket. (7+2 vs. 2) The businessman fires off the flintlock device, and through the smoky explosion of the gun a single musketball hits Fallacy in the forehead, skull, right below her previous wound. She flops onto the ground as Elephant lowers his shot and looks to see what damage he has caused, and is sufficiently satisfied. His horse painful whines.
Elephant Parade 1776'd FallacyofUrist!
+Article: Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory

High tyrol continues to cruise down in the street in her biplane, hitting the asphalt, swerving the lanes. (3) The highway is being held at a standstill due to traffic up ahead, and she comes nowhere near close to an airplane hangar. "What's going on?" Tyrol rolls down her window and asks the car next to her. "Radio says that there's been an accident with some sort of truck!" Comes the reply. "Hey! Are you driving a plane? That's not something you see everyday."

Execute works out his plan by taking the bags of gunpowder and tucking them into spaces that represent weak or critical points in the structure of the ship. (6+2) Storing the gunpowder in these vulnerable nooks and crannies would result in extreme damage if they were to, say, explode. He then uses some nearby rope as a fuse for the gunpowder and finally ignites the fuse sections of rope with a tinderbox. (5) Execute jumps out of a porthole and flies away, just in time for the ship to get rocked with internal explosions; he's barely in time, as the force of the synchronized blasts helps to propel him away, the heat of the reaction hot on his back. As he ascends, the air becomes thick with smoke and screams and cries of agony and confusion come from far below. Taking a look behind him, Execute spies the ship split into parts and sinking, as if a Kraken were pulling it into the depths below. He also becomes aware of the fact that the tip of his left wing is on fire.

Abstract, finally compelled to perform altruism again in his now meaningless life, swings his door wide open and rushes to the scene of the accident. He runs up to the door of the truck, "Are you alright?" The truck driver responds by unconsciously slumping over. Abstract opens the truck door and rifles through the man's pockets, using his cellphone to call for an ambulance. The driver remains unmoving and breathing, but very softly and with effort.

Greatness stands up from his fall and looks over himself to check that the chemicals from the helmet, particularly the acidic ones, didn't spill onto him or anything he had. After a quick looking, everything appears to be in order, besides from what was once his hypnotism device. He peeks out of the tent, watching vehicles full of people drive off down the road, and in the other direction, he spots Elephant Parade killing Fallacy with a headshot. Greatness exits, taking great care to avoid anyone seeing him. (7) None of them do, particularly Elephant Parade who is more concerned with figuring out if he killed Fallacy or not. Greatness turns a street corner and heads down a road, shielded by the cover of buildings and debris. The more he heads into the city, the louder he can hear gunshots coming from within.

Nunzillor updates her Assault Team on plans, giving them orders to sweep the buildings one at a time until the enemy can be found, but to fire if they're in danger or if the targets attempt to flee. (Perception: 2-1) The three militia leave the building, including one who tries to be cool by vaulting out of a broken window; in the darkness he ends up falling over the windowsill onto the ground. (3) "Ah shit! I busted my knee! Help!" The other two militia stop what they are doing and regroup to help their injured comrade. This, of course, leads to them not spending any time looking for their actual targets.
Nunzillor regroups with her squad to find that they have had no luck in finding the enemy, and have incurred an injury without getting fired upon. Nunzillor freezes for a moment to rub her forehead and sigh before looking for the Wiki-Warriors herself. (Perception vs. Stealth: 7-1) She sees a flicker of movement in a storefront in the distance. Could that be...? At this point they could be getting away, she has to take the shot. Nunzillor shoots off down the street, charging at the store while out her rifle. (1+2-1 vs. 3) Nunzillor fires a shot, unsure if she hit anyone in the heavy darkness, but getting the feeling that she didn't due to the lack of a loud thud or a scream of pain. (1 vs. 9) Ukranian attempts to fire back but she hears a click, despite the gun containing enough ammo. Uh oh.

Hawk grabs two plastic grocery bags and stuffs them with as many vegetables as he can without exceeding the capacity of either. Then, like the hero he is, he dives behind the counter and waits for the retreat.

Ukranian runs back into the grocery store, a single bullet flying past her down the road. She spins around and attempts to fire back, but is unable to get a shot off; her gun has Jammed at a very inopportune time. Cursing, she runs towards the back, signaling Hawk to follow her, which he does, bags of vegetables and all. (1) The two of them get to the back where there is an exit door, and when Ukranian opens it she finds that the exit way is blocked by the husk of an SUV that's on fire. Dandy.
Although most people were trying to leave Denmark, the city does gain one new arrival, one that parks his riverboat on the banks of the river that goes into the heart of Denmark. A lightly clothed man, the most muscular contestant that has been seen yet, jumps onto the shore. He walks forth, cracking his knuckles. "And with the jawbone of an ass, he slew hundreds of Roman soldiers..." He picks up a weighted barbell and shrugs his impressive 'stache.

Salsacookies has come to punch your shit in!

Spoiler: Execute/Dumbo.exe (click to show/hide)

Name: Execute/Dumbo.exe
Gender: Male
Nationality: Iranian/Russian
Karaindash: +2 Administration, +2 Diplomacy
Rufa Mae Quinto: +2 Acting, +2 Singing
The Other Face of Janus: +Ability: Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation
Arman Sedghi: +2 Engineering
Sviatopolk I of Kiev: +2 Military Strategy, +2 Assassination, +Loyal Boyar Subject

Status: Tip of Left Wing on Fire
Kills: 0
Assets: Loyal Boyar Subject (Dagger), Shortsword
Abilities:
Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation - Can open up portals in paintings to travel in and out of them. A strange and enigmatic power, use it carefully.
Wings of Quetzalcoatl - Can fly.
War Party:
1 War Party Commander (War Banner, Obsidian Sword)
3 Officers
14 Soldiers

Standard War Party Equipment - Bows, Obsidian Spears, Cloth Armor, Hardwood Helmets
Looted European Equipment: Muskets, Crossbows, Rapiers, Steel Armor, Steel Helmets

Spoiler: Twinwolf (click to show/hide)

Name: Twinwolf
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/Yugoslavian

Johnny Strange: +2 Juggling, +2 Marksmanship, +Abilities: Black Hole Swallow Technique + Fire-breath Manipulator
Sluggish schizophrenia: +2 Psychological Torture
Dimitrije Ljotić: +2 Fascist Nationalism, +2 Law, +Judge's Suit
Black Thunder: +Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area)
Kartouwe: +Kartouwe Cannon

Status: Normal
Assets: Judge's Suit, Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area), Kartouwe Cannon
Abilities:
Black Hole Swallow Technique - Swallows any dangerous weapon or object that can fit inside his stomach with no negative effects.
Fire-breath Manipulator - Inhales a nearby source of fire and then can breathe it out of his mouth.

Spoiler: Hawk132 (click to show/hide)

Name: Hawk132
Gender: Male
Nationality: Chilean

Lucho Gatica: +2 Bolero Dancing, +2 Acting
Vegetable juice: +Ability: Juice Up!
Jim Webb: +2 Naval Ability, +2 Politics, +Politican's Suit, +Ability: I want my 10 Minutes!
Bongolo: +2 Medic, +2 Romance
North American cuisine: +2 Cooking American Cuisine, +Grill

Status: Fine
Assets: Politician's Suit, Grill, Riot Gun [4/6], Police Pistol [9/9]
Abilities:
Juice Up - Can instantly turn any vegetable he comes in contact to into juice. Also, metabolizes vegetable juice very quickly to the point it can actually heal him. E.g., 10 Juiced carrots = 1 Medkit.
I want my 10 Minutes! (Passive) - Constantly demands to have a full, uninterrupted ten minutes so that he can say what he wants. Super effective against Anderson Cooper.

Spoiler: Nunzillor (click to show/hide)

Name: Nunzillor
Gender: Female
Nationality: Swedish/Japanese

Dag Bjørndalen: +2 Skiing, +2 Rifles, +Skis, +Skiing Poles, +Small Rifle, +Skiing Outfit
Nikolay Basov: +2 Physics
Santa Rosa hitchhiker murders: +Ability: A Deadly Ride
Beaumont-Hamel: +2 Charging Assaults, +2 Pain Resistance
Amakusa 1637: +2 Leading Rebellions, +Katana

Status: Normal
Assets: Skis, Skiing Poles, Small Rifle [4/5], Skiing Outfit, Katana, Sympathizing Doctor Business Card, Handheld Radio Communicator
Abilities:
A Deadly Ride - If a character goes on a vehicular ride with Nunzillor, she gets +4 in rolls against them. If they are killed, Nunzillor will never be officially connected to the murder.

Militia:
Tiny Chuck (Leader) - Military Sniper Rifle
4 Sniper Team - Hunting Rifles [Lost Contact]
3 Assault Team - Assault Rifles [1 Knee Injured]
2 Explosives Team - Grenade Launcher, LMG, Snowmobile

Spoiler: AbstractTraitorHero (click to show/hide)

Name: AbstractTraitorHero
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/American

Aston Martin DP212: +Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car
Joel Halliwell: +2 Horseback Riding, +2 Inspiration, +English WWI Uniform
Dzhamal Otarsultanov: +2 Wrestling
Ira Shafer: +2 Law, +2 Politics
Jon Denning: +2 Driving

Status: Normal
Assets: Aston Martin DP212 Sports Car, English WWI Uniform, Green Bay Amateur Wrestling Champion Belt

Spoiler: Ukranian Ranger (click to show/hide)

Name: Ukranian Ranger
Gender: Female
Nationality: American

Gerri Elliot: +2 Business, +Business Suit
Alwyn Bramley-Moore: +2 Politics, +2 Writing, +2 WWI Combat
Henri Bouillard: +2 Theology
J.C. Penny: +2 Business (+4 Total), +1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area
Chad Power: +2 Martial Arts
Joseph Solvinto: +2 Boxing (+3 Punching Total)

Status: Left Forearm Fractured [-2 to Two-handed Actions]
Kills: 1
Assets: Business Suit, 1 J.C. Penny Store in the Green Bay Area, Police Pistol [6/9] [Jammed]

Spoiler: Greatness942 (click to show/hide)

Name: Greatness942
Gender: Male
Nationality: Japanese/French

Regenerative Medicine: +Ability: Enhanced Regeneration
2005 Asian Athletics Championships – Men's javelin throw: +2 Javelin-Throwing, +2 Javelins
Tōdō Heisuke: +2 Swords, +Katana, +Wakizashi, +Samurai Armor
The Misadventures of Merlin Jones: +Mindwarper Helmet
Michel Boivin: +2 History & Anthropology (+3 Muslim History & Anthropology)
Magdalena Piekarska: +2 Fencing (+3 Swords Total), +Rapier

Status: Normal
Kills: 1
Assets: 2 Javelins, Katana, Wakizashi, Rapier
Abilities:
Enhanced Regeneration - Body heals from wounds and recovers from diseases much faster than normal human beings.

Spoiler: High tyrol (click to show/hide)

Name: High tyrol
Gender: Female
Nationality: American

Dorothy Parker: +2 Poetry, +2 Short Story Writing, +2 Wit, +Flapper's Dress
2001 Australian Grand Prix: +2 Racecar Driving, + Racecar
Michael Goodwin: +2 Architecture, +1 Political Persuasion
Vulsellum: +Hooked Forceps
Armstrong Whitworth Siskin: +Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane

Status: Normal
Assets: Racercar, Hooked Forceps, Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane

Spoiler: Elephant Parade (click to show/hide)

Name: Elephant Parade
Gender: Male
Nationality: Azerbaijani

Azerbaijani Art: +2 Art
Sean Buckley: +2 Entrepreneurship, +Thoroughbred Racehorse, +Business Suit
Thomas Wentworth: +2 Muskets, +1 Swords, +Musket, +British Empire Officer's Saber
LaVern Gibson Championship Cross Country Course: +2 Agility & Speed in Natural Environments
Jake Deitchler: +2 Wrestling
Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory

Status: Left Foot Shot (-2 to Agility, Moderate Bleeding)
Assets: Thoroughbred Racehorse (Lower Torso Shot, Bleeding), Musket [0/1], British Empire Officer's Saber

Spoiler: Salsacookies (click to show/hide)

Name: Salsacookies
Gender: Male
Nationality: Italian/Greek

Marco Bortolami: +2 Tackling
Songo River Queen II: +Songo River Queen II Riverboat
David J. Rudolph: +2 Scholarly Writing (+3 Scholarly Writing on Judaism)
Revolving Door: +Ability: Revolving Door Revolution
Perikles Kakousis: +2 Strength, +Barbell, +Olympian Weightlifter's Garb

Status: Fine
Assets: Songo River Queen II Riverboat, Barbell, Olympian Weightlifter's Garb
Abilities:
Revolving Door Revolution - Once per turn, can turn a normal door into a revolving door.

That's was the fastest kill we've had in a while, wasn't it?

Person, if you don't mind, I'd like to add the AAR's to the OP of the game, for the convenience of anyone trying to catch up on the latest turns.

As a result of me being tired, I misread Nunzillor's action and was quite confused for a few seconds:

((I get the feeling that Tiny Chuck is going to turn me on...))

[AbstractTraitorHero]

Watch their condition after turning car off to preserve gas.

[Greatness942]

I continue sneaking my way into the city, going toward the gunshots. Once I see the source of the rounds, I'll sneak my way onto a rooftop, making sure no one can see me. After that, I wait, and observe for the perfect moment to strike.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

OH DEAR GOD FLY INTO THE WATER.
Preferably away from the invaders though.

[Nunzillor]

((Haha, turn on me.  But damn, those were some bad rolls.))

Baka!

I sigh.  "Charge, now!"

Mobile team: launch a grenade at a random building on the other side of town to split the police response.

Charge the building, get inside, shoot them.

[Person]

Person, if you don't mind, I'd like to add the AAR's to the OP of the game, for the convenience of anyone trying to catch up on the latest turns.

I wasn't really able to post one for turn 27 due to irl shenanigans, but I guess I'll just make the next one a double feature or something. Also go ahead.

Edit: AAR GOES HERE!

Spoiler: AAR:27-28 (click to show/hide)

Graham: Welcome back to the Wikipedia Warfare Report.
Van: You may have noticed a slight hiatus in our reporting. That's is because this is a special double feature episode. Double the time, double the action, double the reporting.
Graham: But that also means double the time to prepare our analysis.
Van: We probably won't be doing this special feature again anytime soon, but let's get down to business.

Graham: For those of you clamoring for an update on AbstractTraitorHero, here you are. First things first, I think we'll just call them ATH from now on. Anyway, what do you think Van?
Van: Well, they've certainly taken a more empathetic route than most of the warriors so far. This might actually work out for them, as it should improve their standing with the citizens of Denmark.
Graham: A reputation as a good samaritan is often as tough to earn as it is to keep. One can't help but wonder when they intend to engage in combat, however.
Van: No one is really obligated to fight in the wars, but it's certainly an unusual decision. Still, I'm sure they have something planned. Being on the sidelines like this should let them gain influence. Let's move on to Elephant Parade.

Graham: What a fast and furious battle that was.
Van: Those two certainly wasted no time.
Graham: Seems like Elephant Parade being on his high horse came him a fair bit of cover. Both horse and man are wounded, but neither injury is particularly serious.
Van: It might be a fair bit more difficult to treat a horse than it is for Elephant to treat them self though. Still, they've already claimed a place on the leader boards, and the support of our viewers.
Graham: Fallacy put up a good fight, but their newer weapons just didn't make up for the endurance and skill Elephant was able to display. How's our samurai looking?

Van: Greatness has gone and broken their helmet. An unfortunate loss, but not completely crippling. They're still well armed and dangerous.
Graham: I question their decision not to obtain Person's equipment, but they're pretty well loaded with gear as is. Maybe they simply thought it more honorable not to loot the dead.
Van: That's certainly possible. Now that's he's made his way into the city, he'll probably be in the thick of the brewing revolution. It should be interesting to see how they react to the conflict. If their stealth holds out, they could make quite the strike against any adversaries they encounter.

Graham: Nunzillor's henchmen prove to be more accident prone by the second. Goes to show you that even in a rebellion, the cover of darkness can still be an enemy to any plan you make. I find myself lacking confidence in Nunzillors troops, but that doesn't reflect on the Warrior themself.
Van: The only piece that matters is the King. Anything else is expendable.
Graham: I guess that's one way of putting it. Let's see how Ukranian Ranger reacts to this situation.

Van: They've still got Hawk on their side, which should help if Nunzillor catches up to them. However, Ranger is still injured, and their pistol needs to be unjammed before they can contribute to the fight.
Graham: Speaking of Hawk, it was quite fortunate for them to find that shop. Many fans were on the edge of their seats for a while there.
Van: They've still got plenty of firepower to work with, so we'll have to see if two pistols can overwhelm one rifle.
Graham: They're pinned down inside that store though, and if Nunzillor's henchmen get back to work, they'll be the ones who are outgunned. Anyway, next up is High tyrol.

Van: High tyrol has managed to escape detection, but it was only to run into another accident. Some luck, eh? They may well meet up with ATH at this rate, and we'll have to see whether they ally or fight each other. I'm betting on them being allies, but nothing is certain.
Graham: This is why small towns are great. All the combatants are generally in walking distance of each other, so the fights are back to back to back. Say, Execute has been busy hasn't he.

Van: They certainly have. One ship down, two more to go.
Graham: Its not just two ships Van. Its just that two of those ships are more important. They've still got around a dozen ships to contend with, and they didn't escape that last explosion unscathed.
Van: I suppose you're right. I don't like their chances to do that 10 more times. Here's hoping they finish the job and bring the fight back to the real world.
Graham: But is the world in that painting not real too?
Van: Bah, I don't like those sorts of arguments. Its all pointless navel gazing. Give me some death and violence and I'm happy.
Graham: I worry about you, I really do. We've gone off topic.
Van: Oh, so that's my fault then? We've uh, missed someone right?
Graham: Ah right, Salsacookies.

Van: Hmm. Let's have a look here. Hey, that's a boat isn't it?
Graham: Why yes it is. Well, its not armed, but they might be able to take advantage of the river in Denmark. Maybe they'll even start charging tolls, heh.
Van: Hey, don't speculate on stuff like that. That's the viewer's job.
Graham: Then what are WE here for?
Van: Just read the damn papers.
Graham: Alright, alright. So, they've got quite a bit of melee power. I wonder how good a weapon that barbell is? What do you think about that ability of theirs, Revolving Door Revolution?
Van: Well, I'm not really sure. They can use it often enough, but there's probably some way to exploit it.
Graham: Do doors stay locked if they become revolving doors? If not, can they just get through security that way.
Van: Huh, that's a thought. Some rich bloke goes to check his safe, and finds a slowly spinning door at its front. How would you even react to that?

Graham: No idea Van, no idea. Anyway, the citizens of Denmark have been taking their leave as of late. Perhaps they're waiting for all of this to blow over. Hey, do you think we should tell them this is just gonna keep going? If you haven't noticed yet, this is actually the first test of an endless wiki war. Though, I suppose a winner might be declared eventually.
Van: Its not our job to decide stuff like that. There can certainly be a winner in spirit though, and that's whoever has the most warrior kills.

Edit2: Oh man I've been having so much trouble with tenses lately. That's what happens when you edit the words that have meaning while ignoring the bits of the English Language that actually structure those words. Also I couldn't find a way to work the Wikipedia Council into this yet because I had forgotten what it was called. We've been getting a lot more lore lately, which is to say lore exists at all beyond an excuse plot.

[Salsacookies]

First, place all my barbell weights on one side of the pole, and fasten them tightly, creating a very heavy hammer. Then, Leisurely walk towards my nearest opponent. Kindly greet him with a barbell whack to the face!