Round 58: Let the Pizza Hit the FloorLocation: Denmark, WisconsinWeather Conditions: Sunny (4.2 Inches of Snow)Time: Later Afternoon High tyrol sits in her pickup truck and begins writing a new story about Spanish Conquistadors conquering the moon and fighting off moon aliens. [Poetry: 8+2] In her own opinion, "Conquistadors on the Moon" is a masterpiece, telling the story from the perspective of a young Conquistador captain in Future Spain who is tasked with colonizing the moon, only to find it populated by space aliens, thus setting off a war of action, drama, romance and tragedy. Afterwards, she drives into Green Bay to look for a place to clean her hat. She stops by at a laundromat to do so, tossing it in an empty machine and putting it through a rinse and dry cycle. [-$1] She places her cowboy hat on her head, good as new, and as she walks back to the parking lot to get back into her truck, she spots a police officer being attacked by a group of thugs.
Green Bay Art Festival starts next turn.Twinwolf thinks for a moment. "...I don't really have a choice." The Aztec warrior nods, "We hope this will be a honest and mutually beneficial relationship." He points the tip of his spear towards the portal, "We need you to go over there where will meet with his Holiness Amihiyotzinuatmotlapal. Be warned, if you run or betray us in some way, we will not hesitate to kill you." They warily stand behind Twin, waiting for him to either follow their command or do something else.
While riding to Manitowoc on his horse, Dolosus looks around for some sort of transportation, like a pickup truck, that would both carry his horse while increasing his speed at the same time. [Car Scouting: 1] Dolosus spots the perfect, heavy weight pickup sitting on the side of the road, with no one in sight. Fixated on his target vehicle, Dolosus is oblivious to the driver of an SUV crossing an intersection at the same time he is, the driver themselves absorbed in a text. [Horseback Riding: 2+2-2(Distracted)] Dolosus is only aware of the fast car in his peripheral vision in the last half-second before the collision, [3] when he is thrown from his horse at high speeds, flying through the air and landing on the ground dozens of feet away. Dolosus stares up into the sky, dazed for a few minutes, and when he resumes full consciousness he finds himself in great pain. He tries uses his hands to help himself up, but his left arm painfully buckles when he attempts to use it, it is definitely broken. When he actually does get up he shambles over to his horse which is laying on the ground, pitifully whinnying and failing to attempt to stand, it had clearly broken multiple legs. All of the items for the Quest, from the pizzas to the sodas, are splattered on the ground and on the horse, a messy set of decorations. The Samurai looks into the front of the SUV, where the front has been damaged, the front window is crack and its single male occupant is unconscious in the driver's seat.
Execute looks up in the sky at the aircraft circling overhead and then back at Yuri. "... Yes, go back inside the portal, I'll handle it, you too, Yuri." Yuri nods solemnly, "Yes sir, come on men!" He motions to the Aztecs who begin their march back into the portal. Yuri begins to walk towards himself when Execute grabs him by the shoulder, "Yuri, if I'm killed up there, I need you to lead these people, they've... Grown on me, for lack of a better word, and here they likely won't be able to survive without help." Yuri looks at Execute silently for a moment and then nods without saying a word, before stepping into the next world; the Aztecs bid their leader a temporary farewell as they renter the mansion. It's a poignant moment for everyone, especially for Execute who knows that if he dies, there is a good chance the portal will seal up permanently. Once Yuri and all the Aztecs in the area step through the portal, Execute drops his Conquistador's Pistol and his WWI Rifle, then flies to the top of the building where Yuri had set up his sniper's nest, since it is the tallest building in the area.
Execute takes the Type 69 RPG off his back and motions to the Tu-91 to land. Maybe The Ensorceler didn't see Execute making this motion or maybe he misinterpreted it as a threatening gesture, or he could have just wanted a fight. Regardless of the reason, the pilot responds to Execute's request by spraying at him with a burst of machine gun fire. The bullets are not close enough to harm Execute but he knows this means a fight and flies straight upward, reaching an altitude where the tailgun would most likely not be able to hit him. He aims a rocket for the Tu-91, looking down its sights; while the Type 69 was a perfect weapon for taking out a tank or cluster of infantry, it not developed as an anti-aircraft weapon. [3-2(Wrong Weapon Type) vs. 1+1] Despite having the wrong kind of weapon to take out a plane, Execute gets pretty close, close enough that The Ensorceler watches the rocket fly just a couple feet above his right wing before it sails off into the distance, its smoke trail visible from behind. The Ensorceler fights back by shooting off the tailgun again, but Execute has taken the preemptive measure of getting out of its range, and the bullets only find thin air.
Fallacy, desperate to stay with Execute, breaks away from her Aztec companions as they go into the portal and runs to the building, but unable to fly herself she is stranded at the bottom. As she helplessly watches Execute square off against a hostile aircraft, she feels a rumbling coming from down the road. Turning her attention to this new source of energy, Fallacy switches her attention and spots the War Elephant coming towards her, and instinctively props up her rifle. However, she sees that War Elephant has a much calmer demeanor now and a new rider, not MidnightJaguar but an unidentified female wearing a minimal amount of clothing and a skull mask. She raises a staff headed by a humanoid skull and waves it at Fallacy in a non-hostile manner, "Hello stranger! I wandered into this land through a portal and have tamed this large beast. Tell me, where am I?"
Wipeout ducks behind a pile of rubble and just watches the events around her unfold. She sees the Aztecs all marching back into a portal and only two people remain behind, a woman and a flying man. The flying man gets on top of a building and fires a rocket at an airplane, which shoots back at him. The woman stays on the ground, and is then approached by another woman riding an elephant. This was a
very strange place.
Ukrainian Ranger stands in front of the portal to the Dragon Age universe located in the vault of the bank, eagerly awaiting its first arrival but at the same time the snail-person holds their rifle at the ready in case it spawns something hostile. After a few minutes, the portal begins to glow and Ukrainian takes a ready battle stance, prepared to unload a full burst into whatever steps out. The first spawn takes the form of a man in armor with a large greatsword upon his back, he looks like someone who knows how to fight. He takes a glance at Ukrainian, "Who the hell are you and what do you want?"
The Ensorceler knows that if his enemy's RPG had been aimed slightly lowered, he could have lost a wing or much worse. He makes his plan to get out of this area as quickly as possible to avoid further attacks. When he realizes that Execute has ascended to a point where his tail gun can not reach him, so The Ensorceler pulls upwards as well to match Execute's altitude so that he is in firing range. [9 vs. 7] A single bullet tears through Execute in his favorite place to get wounded, the ankle, specifically the left one. The Tu-91 continues flying until it is outside of Denmark's limits and out of Execute's range, going at a speed he could not pursue; even if Execute could keep up with an old WWI biplane, the Tu-91 was exponentially faster.
No Aztecs spawn due to Execute's order, and will not spawn until this order is changed.
The Sunset Invasion:
Leaders: Execute, Yuri
Active: 252
16 Eagle Soldiers [+1 Aztec Warfare, Macuahuitl Obsidian Swords, Slings]
Casualties: 116
Active Portals and Current Spawns:
Aztec - Aztec Warriors.
Pathfinder Portal - Shaman [Skull Mask, Skull Staff].
Dragon Age - Hayder [Armor, "Hayder's Razor" Greatsword].
Name: Execute/Dumbo.exe "Amihiyotzinuatmotlapal"
Gender: Male
Nationality: Iranian/Russian
Karaindash: +2 Administration, +2 Diplomacy
Rufa Mae Quinto: +2 Acting, +2 Singing
The Other Face of Janus: +Ability: Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation
Arman Sedghi: +2 Engineering
Sviatopolk I of Kiev: +2 Military Strategy, +2 Assassination, +Loyal Boyar Subject
Jacques Bernard Hombron: +2 Medical, +2 Botany, +1 Sailing
Status: Left Arm Shot [Moderate Bleeding], Right Shoulder Bludgeoned [Bruised], Chest Seared [Burning Pain: 50% Chance of -2 on Any Action], Left Ankle Shot [-2 Agility, Serious Bleeding]
Points: 1
Assets: Police Pistol [7/9], Trench Knife, Type 69 RPG [0/1] [Long Reload]
Abilities:
Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation - Can open up portals in paintings to travel in and out of them. A strange and enigmatic power, use it carefully.
Wings of Quetzalcoatl - Can fly.
Vassals: The Aztec Empire, The Texcocan Empire
Army:
Yuri - Aztec High Priest (Dagger, High Priest Robes, AR15 Assault Rifle [18/30] [Moderate Reload]) [In High Cover] [Right Foot Shot, Light Bleeding, -1 Agility]
87 Generals
309,000 Aztec Soldiers
Standard War Party Equipment - Bows, Obsidian Spears, Cloth Armor, Hardwood Helmets
Looted European Equipment: Muskets, Crossbows, Rapiers, Steel Armor, Steel Helmets
Name: Twinwolf
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/Yugoslavian
Johnny Strange: +2 Juggling, +2 Marksmanship, +Abilities: Black Hole Swallow Technique + Fire-breath Manipulator
Sluggish schizophrenia: +2 Psychological Torture
Dimitrije Ljotić: +2 Nationalistic Leadership, +2 Law, +Judge's Suit
Black Thunder: +Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area)
Kartouwe: +Kartouwe Cannon
Abraham Louis Breguet: +3 Clock Making, +3 Clock Repair, +Small Antique Clock
Status: Right Achilles Tendon Slashed [-1 Agility], Left Leg Pierced Deeply [-1 Agility, Serious Bleeding]
Points: 1
Assets: Judge's Suit, Kartouwe Cannon, Lighter, Pistol [0/8], +Small Antique Clock
Abilities:
Black Hole Swallow Technique - Swallows any dangerous weapon or object that can fit inside his stomach with no negative effects.
Fire-breath Manipulator - Inhales a nearby source of fire and then can breathe it out of his mouth.
Name: High tyrol
Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Dorothy Parker: +2 Poetry, +2 Short Story Writing, +2 Wit, +Flapper's Dress
2001 Australian Grand Prix: +2 Racecar Driving, + Racecar
Michael Goodwin: +2 Architecture, +1 Political Persuasion
Vulsellum: +Hooked Forceps
Armstrong Whitworth Siskin: +Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane
Tres dólares de plomo: +2 Wild West Guns, +2 Horseback Riding, +Wild West Revolver, +Cowboy Hat
Status: Fine
Points: 1
Assets: $49 [Loan: $100 due to "Speedy Loans" in 14 Turns], Racecar, Hooked Forceps, Standard Quality WWII Dogfighting Poem, Wild West Revolver [6/6] [Moderate Reload], Cowboy Hat, Pickup Truck [Superficial Frontal Damage], "The Sky God Came Down to Texas" [High Quality], "Conquistadors on the Moon" [High Quality]
Name: Elephant Parade
Gender: Male
Nationality: Azerbaijani
Azerbaijani Art: +2 Art
Sean Buckley: +2 Entrepreneurship, +Thoroughbred Racehorse, +Business Suit
Thomas Wentworth: +2 Muskets, +1 Swords, +Musket, +British Empire Officer's Saber
LaVern Gibson Championship Cross Country Course: +2 Agility & Speed in Natural Environments
Jake Deitchler: +2 Wrestling
Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory
Status: Normal
Assets: Musket [1/1] [Moderate Reload], British Empire Officer's Saber, Untitled Song with Musket Fire, Thoroughbred Racehorse, Untitled Song Inspired by Animal Noises, Song Inspired by Horse: "Horse, Of Course"
Name: NAV
Gender: Male
Nationality: British/Polish
The Last Seven: +2 Scavenging, +2 Demon Hunting, +Bullpup Assault Rifle, +Post-Apocalyptic Rags
Bill Spence: +2 Driving, +Sports Car
Jaws Unleashed: +Ability: We Need A Bigger Boat
Ludomir Benedyktowicz: +2 Landscape Painting, +1 Guerrilla Warfare, +1 War Poetry, +1 Chess
Cardenas Medal: Cardenas Medal
Soucouyant: +Ability: The Bloodsucking Fireball
Status: Chest Shot [Light Bleeding], Left Hand Crisped [Burning Pain: 75% Chance -2 to Any Action, -2 Two-Handed]
Points: 1
Assets: $761.90, Old Poncho [Dirty], Boxers [Dirty], Katana, 2 Javelins
Abilities:
We Need A Bigger Boat! - While in water, NAV can turn into a Giant Great White Shark. While in this form, he gains +4 Swimming, +3 Biting, and eating large living organisms, such as dolphins or humans, will cure wounds.
The Bloodsucking Fireball - While in human form, NAV can shed all of his skin into a pile and turn into a sentient Fireball that can fly and fit through holes as small as a keyhole. The Fireball can not ignite people with fire, but it can attach to them and drain them of their blood like a vampire. If a person is killed in this way, they will become an NPC Soucouyant. If the Soucouyant encounters any rice, it is forced to gather the rice one grain at a time unless it is caught by a person in this act, in which case it must return back to where its skin lies before it can set out again. The Soucoyant can be hurt in its fireball form, but not killed, by water. If someone destroys the Soucoyant's human skin, it will die.
Name: DolosusDoleus
Gender:
Nationality:
Okita Rintarō: +2 Swords, +Katana, +Yari, +Samurai Armor, +Samurai Helmet
Bill Nichols: +2 Documentary Filming, +Filming Camera
2003 Cheltenham Gold Cup: +2 Horseback Riding, +Racehorse
John F. Bickford: +2 Sailing, +2 Naval Combat, +Civil War Revolver, +Naval Captain's Uniform
Borovo Treasure: +Pouch containing the Borovo Treasure
RV Belgica (1884): +RV Belgica Steamship
Status: Left Arm Broken [-2 Two-handed], Several Ribs Broken [Intense Pain: -2 All]
Points: 1
Assets: $116, Katana, Yari, Samurai Armor, Samurai Helmet, Filming Camera, Racehorse [Multiple Broken Legs], Potato Vehicle Keys, RV Belgica Steamship
Pouch [The Borovo Treasure]
Name: Ukrainian Ranger
Gender: Hermaphroditic
Nationality: Snailtopia
Jack O' Neill (Stargate): +2 Military Firearms, +2 Aircraft Piloting, +FN P90 Assault Rifle, +M1911 Pistol, +Air Force Colonel's Uniform, +Ability: A Rip in Time & Space
Utah Roundmouth Snail: -1 Agility, +Ability: Snail-Person
USS Earle (DD-635): +USS Earle Destroyer
Neural Tissue Engineering: +2 Medical (+3 Neurological Medicine)
USS SC-501: +USS SC-501 Submarine Chaser
Status: Fine
Assets: FN P90 Assault Rifle [50/50] [Moderate Reload], M1911 Pistol [7/7], Air Force Colonel's Uniform, USS Earle Destroyer, USS SC-501 Submarine Chaser, Push Scooter
Abilities:
A Rip in Time & Space [Passive] - There are hidden sites all over the universe that house latent Wormholes to other planets, universes, even dimensions. Ukrainian Ranger will be notified when they get close to one of these Wormholes, which they are able to open and travel through. These Wormholes will remain open and able to be transversed by anyone as long as Ukrainian keeps them open, and is alive.
Snail-Person - Ukrainian Ranger is a humanoid snail creature. They have a human figure, meaning they are bipedal, stand upright, have limbs and hands are overall shaped like a person. Their snail features include slimy skin, two beady eyes sticking out of their head, a toothless mouth and a constantly wavy, bubbling, high-pitched androgynous voice. Most prominently is the large shell upon their backs that due to its weight makes them slower than your average Wiki-Warrior, however, they can retract their entire flexible body into the hardened shell for protection.
Name: wipeout1024
Gender: Female
Nationality: American/Swedish
Bonnie Blair: +3 Speedskating, +Ice Skates
Krister Stendhal: +2 Christian Theology (+3 New Testament Theology), +2 Christian Education
SS Alba: +SS Alba Cargo Ship
Space Jam: +2 Basketball (+4 vs. Aliens), +1 Reflexes, +Basketball, +Basketball Uniform, +Ability: Come on and Slam!
Dorothy Blum: +2 Computer Science, +2 Cryptanalysis
Status: Fine
Assets: Ice Skates, SS Alba Cargo Ship, Basketball, Basketball Uniform
Abilities:
Come on and Slam! - Wipeout can Dunk any held object on targets for increased accuracy and damage output. Must be within melee-range of target to use. 1-Turn Cooldown. [Ready]
Name: The Ensorceler
Gender: Male
Nationality: Finnish
SS Ohioan: +SS Ohioan Cargo Ship
10 Kilometres Race Walk: +2 Stamina, +1 Agility
David C. Garret Jr.: +2 Business, +1 Flying, +Small Commercial Plane
Tupolve Tu-91: +Tupolev Tu-91 Anti-Naval Attack Aircraft
Vilho Tervasmäki: +2 WWII Weapons, +2 Political Science, +1 War History (+2 Finnish War History), +MP40 Submachine Gun, +Colonel's Uniform
Status: Fine
Assets: SS Ohioan Cargo Ship, Small Commercial Plane, Tupolev Tu-91 Anti-Naval Attack Aircraft, MP40 Submachine Gun [32/32] [Moderate Reload], Colonel's Uniform
Goodnight Sweet Prince
The skies over Minnesota remain purple, it seems that Prince isn't willing to go just yet. He left behind a cryptic note asking for "One last performance in the purifying waters."
Conditions:
*Locate the "purifying waters".
*Perform a cover of Purple Rain at this location, uninterrupted for a full turn. At the very least it should be a great performance so getting an [8] on the performance roll is required to fulfill the Quest. Music/Performance related abilities count toward this roll.
Reward: 2 Points
The Connoisseur
Some dude wants food delivered to his house. Seriously, that's it.
Conditions:
*Be the first one with 5 Large Pizzas, 80 Chicken Wings and 8 two-liter Soda Bottles to Richard Brooks in Manitowoc.
Reward: 1 Point
Poll
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