Round 54: The Second BetrayalLocation: Denmark, WisconsinWeather Conditions: Sunny (6.9 Inches of Snow)Time: Afternoon With the song of horses in tow, Elephant Parade rides off from the hunting grounds and towards the small-but-not-touched-by-malicious-raining-fire town of Greenleaf, population 607. Surely in a town of this great magnitude, it wouldn't be hard to find musical talent that specializes in pop. [Musical Talent Scouting: 3] Surprisingly, the town has limited musical resources, and asking around Elephant is not able to find any local stars or even amateur bands. One teenager does say he has a hot mixtape and he could lay down some fresh rhymes.
Dolosus trots his horse towards Person, his one and only teammate in these crazy game, the WWI Vet looks like he's taken just about every kind of beating and now limps rather than walks.
"You were good son. Real good." Person looks at Dolosus quizzically as the Samurai rotates the camera to face Person and then continues,
"Now this is nothing personal okay? You're a goner. The way I see it, I'm gonna put you out of your misery while I benefit. Everybody wins." Person's eyes widen as he realizes what is going on, unsteadily raising his own sword up in the air in an attempt to shield himself as Dolosus holds his Katana above his head, preparing to make a downward strike. [6+2 vs. 5-2-1] The Japanese comes crashing down upon Person and easily smashes through his defense with such power that he slices through Person's right arm at the elbow, the limb falling to the ground still clutching the handle of his Officer's Sword.
Bleeding profusely, [2-2] Dad takes a step forward, as if trying one last-ditch effort to attack Dolosus, but instead falls to his knees in front of him, breathing in sharp, jagged breaths. Dolosus hops off his horse and walks towards Person, sword in tow, soaked with the blood of betrayal. He looks down upon Person pitifully, and the veteran stares back with a steely glare, half furious over this treachery and half dignified acknowledge that he needs no pity for what is coming. Dolosus nods, as if saying "It's not personal, I promise." He thrusts the Katana through Person's left breast in one clean motion, and removes it just as quickly and cleanly. Dad sighs one more time and falls upon his back.
The Samurai bows to his worthy enemy, and then immediately bends down and ransacks his body. After looting Person's body for his gun, mostly-used medkit and keys to the Potato-Mobile, Dolosus stands and looks around the immediate area: currently on one side of him is a man shooting from atop an elephant on his other side there is screaming coming from a barricaded grocery store.
"Fuck this shit I'm out." And with that eloquence, Dolosus hops back and his horse and after checking that the camera recorded everything, rides at full gallop away from everything, flipping Execute the bird before disappearing into an alleyway racing away from everyone.
Dolosus has (Dis)Honorably slain "Dad" Person!
He gains 1 Point!
+Article: RV Belgica (1884): +RV Belgica Steamship[Due to its size, the RV Belgica has spawned in the port of Green Bay.]
When explaining her wound, TheFallacyofUrist grimaces, slightly.
"It is only due to my supernatural endurance that I am able to remain standing at this point. Behold!" She shows off the significant burn along her arm which has seared her flesh.
"In addition to this... I think I've lost blood. I think that fireball is some kind of vampire. Seriously, how can a fireball be a BLOODY VAMPIRE?" The Aztecs take her burn and blood loss into account, though she can hear them asking each other what a vampire is. "We'll get you something for your arm. For now, just rest, that is the best cure for blood loss if you are no longer reading." [Medical: 5+2] An Aztec Medicine applies a mint-scented herb to Fallacy's burn which is cool to the touch and rids her of the pain.
Execute watches the fireball somehow slip through the closed barrier and into the grocery, followed by the screams of his soldiers. He rushes forward, but out of the corner of his eye he sees the Samurai on horseback, who had been cutting down his forces, give him the finger and then disappear behind a building. Execute dismisses this as unimportant at the moment and bangs on the barricade, yelling to be allowed entrance. The barrier is opened once again and he vaults into the store and points his gun at the fireball which is hovering off the floor. "EVERYBODY STAY BACK, THAT INCLUDES YOU YOU INSANE BASTARD THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T KILLED YOU IS BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE TO NOT SEEM LIKE A THREAT DON'T THINK YOU CAN HIDE YOUR BLOOD LOSS FROM ME I'LL DEAL WIIiiiiiith..." Execute stops his screaming for a moment to observe the ball of energy not reacting to him, but instead preoccupied with sorting grains of rice on the ground. "What's it doing?" The fireball then rotates towards Execute, as if it were looking at him, and then emits a high-pitched screech. It ascends towards the ceiling at high speeds and before anyone can react, it flies towards the barrier at rocket speed and exits through it, going into the sky until it vanishes from sight. For a moment, everyone is speechless, and then Execute resumes order by asking for medical assistance with his wing. [Medical: 6+2] The Aztec medics are able to fix up Execute's wing, though this time and resource consuming process leaves them neglecting his arm, as well as there now being a shortage of medicine that has been so liberally used in the past few turns. Execute's bodyguard force enters into the grocery after their leader.
Beirus ignores the Patriot who slashed her leg and elects to jump off the roof of the car and onto Twinwolf, brandishing her knife from above, its tip pointed downwards. [4+2 vs. 3] Twinwolf is not fast enough to evade the attack allowing Beirus to rake her knife across the nationalist leader's face, creating a large bleeding gash in the left side, though it does miss the eye.
MidnightJaguar sees Person hobbling away towards his Samurai friend and identifying his WWI Uniform, decides that he should does his part in helping a fellow veteran of the Great War out once he can remove the Aztecs in his path. [Morale: 10-2(Elephant Intimidation)] Despite the massive elephant stomping around, the Aztecs hold their ground and continue to pelt it with arrows and spears. [6 vs. 9] The attempts to penetrate the elephant's flesh result in glancing blows and Midnight refuses to let his beast stand there and take an assault uncontested. [5+2 vs. 4] With Midnight's guidance, the Elephant charges into a section of Aztecs and sends over half a dozen of them flying as they torn and tossed aside with the aid of massive tusks. At this point, the Aztecs back off for the moment which gives Midnight a chance to move towards Person. He has the elephant walks towards his fellow veteran but it is too late; Person is lying on his back in a pool of blood missing an arm and with a hole in his chest while the Samurai is riding off into the beyond.
High tyrol drives down to the coffee shop where the Open Mic is being held, specifically
Sheds & Aristocrats, preparing to give her poem the exposure it needs for her to really gain some success. S&A's is located in a suburban plaza about a couple miles out of Green Bay. Tyrol parks in the lot and before she enters the lot, she looks at one of the posters on the store's front that describes the event and checks for anything that would result in her forfeiting the rights to her work, upon further observation there is nothing like that. She goes inside and sits in front of the stage, listening to amateur folk music and angsty poetry until a spot opens up for her. She walks up to the mic, and performs "The Sky God Came Down to Texas". [Poetic Performance: 9+2+1(High Quality Poem)] After half an hour, Tyrol finishes and the whole room is silent, and she thinks that her poem had utterly failed until she is given a rousing standing ovation by the entire crowd. It's a crowd of about fifty people, but is enthralling nonetheless.
Twinwolf, after getting slashed across the face, attempts to shoot Beirus while the alien woman does her best to see where Twin is aiming and preemptively dodge. [3+2 vs. 10+2] Twin fires three shots, and with each Beirus not only jukes out of the way of the bullet entirely but gets closer and closer with each failure to hit. [5+2 vs. 2] Before Twinwolf can shoot the fourth time, Beirus bats his gun away with her free hand and then lunges with her knife and nails him with two quick stabs to the stomach region. Twin wolf backs up, covering up his wounds with one hand and keeping the gun upright with the other. His non-injured Patriot rushes Beirus from behind, [1 vs. 10+2] and before he even reaches her she drops to the round and performs a spinning ankle kick that sends him flat on his back. [9+2 vs. 3] He tries getting back up, and halfway through he is rewarded with a slash across the neck. He clenches his hands over his neck and crawls away, gurgling and managing to live for the next forty seconds or so. The Patriot with the arm injury tries not to freak out that his leader is getting torn apart, and that his friends are either convulsing from poison or bleeding out rapidly, and also that his arm is leaking everywhere. [Morale: 7] He musters up the courage to stand his ground, and even goes so far as to pick a chunk of concrete off the ground and make a half-hearted effort to hit Beirus. [8-1(Weak Throw) vs. 7+2] Beirus ducks under the projectile and even Twin has to jump out of the way to avoid being struck. Beirus responds by throwing a cluster of thorns, [2+2 vs. 10] which scatter onto the sidewalk, bouncing on the asphalt harmlessly.
NAV is counting the rice, as all Soucouyants must count the rice they find. A Soucouyant encountering rice is like a lost individual in the desert finding a cooler of Mountain Dew, no matter how much they hate themselves, they must do what biology compels them to do. Just as NAV is reaching the halfway point, Execute bursts into the grocery. NAV has been discovered, how dare someone break his focus when he is counting every single grain of rice! Filled with a horrid sense of embarrassment and shock, NAV flies out of the grocery store as fast as possible, whipping through the air at speeds he did not know he could attain; a passerby on the street could easily mistake NAV for a shooting star or ball lighting. He flies and flies until he returns to the grove by the lake on the Eastern side of Denmark. He descends into the trees until he finds his skin hidden under a great Pine. He hovers above his skin, his lovely, warm, fleshy skin which makes him feel relief and calm, washing away the terrible sensation of being caught in the middle of rice counting.
[Fun Fact: Psychologists think that Soucouyants are weird, but Biologists describe them as "Alright".]
32 Aztec soldiers spawn from the Portal.
The Sunset Invasion:
Leaders: Execute, Yuri
Active: 147(+32)
16 Eagle Soldiers [+1 Aztec Warfare, Macuahuitl Obsidian Swords, Slings]
Casualties: 116
And yet another portal opens up around the outskirts of Denmark, a greenish swirl that hovers briefly across the ground spits out a giant snail shell before it vanishes. From this shell emerges the competition's most unique looking contestant yet, as a body with an overall human shape but snail features rises and stands on human-like legs, stretching out human-like arms that clutch a military rifle, in an accordingly military uniform. "For the snails!" It cries a high-pitched, ambiguous noise.
Ukrainian Ranger...oozes(?) into battle![All of Ukrainian's watercraft are currently sitting in the port of Green Bay.]
While everything is going on, an event occurs where each contestant receives an audio signal that manifests in various ways:
For Execute and Fallacy, it comes from the grocery's PA System, despite their being no electricity.
For Twinwolf, Beirus, Dolosus, Midnight, and Ukrainian it comes from the radios of vehicles that have been long destroyed, but are somehow still audible. It is similar for Elephant, who hears the signal coming from a parked truck.
Dolosus hears it coming from his camera.
NAV simply receives it telepathically.
Whatever the manifestation is, the actual transmission, delivered in the style of a radio broadcast, is the same:
There is a little bit of static, followed by a man with an articulate Georgian accent, "Howdy folks! It's me again, Thomas Charles Montgomery, leading announcer for the Annual Wikipedia-Wars Competition! We've seen it all from fireballs rainin' down from the heavens to imaginary Aztecs brought to life! What crazy things will we see next? Well, let me tell ya', by popular demand now you, that's right, you in the audience listening and watching along have a chance to tell the Wiki-Warriors what their next Quests will be! Just boil me in a blanket! We will be randomly calling participating phone numbers around the world for faithful fans to tell us what Quests they want to see. And for our very first Quest, we'll be honoring the wonderful state of Minnesota which generously and definitely consensually allowed us to use their home as the starting ground for this year's competition! Our first lucky caller will be.....Richard Brooks of Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin!"
There is a soundbite of a phone ringing.
".....hello?"
"Is this Richard?"
".....yeah."
"Salutations Richard! You have been selected as the first ever Wiki-War listener to those crazy and colorful Wiki-Warriors a Quest!"
"Cool."
"What's your Quest going to be Richard? Are you going to have those brave men and women build a boat to be the first one to cross Lake Michigan!? Or will you have them race to perform a fully choreographed musical in a public place? Or did you-"
"I want 5 Large Pizzas, 80 Chicken Wings, and 8 two-liter sodas. I live on Buchad Beach Drive right on Lake Winnebago, next to Smith's Lakeside Bar & Grill.""
"...Er, you want a fast food dilvery? These are people who can ride elephants, take down an army, open up portal to different worlds, and you want them to your home?"
"Yes."
"W-well surely if that is what you wish for you can call up your local pizza resteraunt and they will deliver to you-"
"But if you guys do it, it's free right?"
Thomas sighs loudly. "Yes. Thank you...very much Richard."
"Bye."
The next sound is a phone being put back on its receiver.
"There you have it folks. This Quest, which will be called the, ah, er, "The Connoisseur", will be worth a grand total of...one point. Will our fearless friends be able to stand the test of this Quest? Yes. Will they even bother to do it? Stay tuned!"
There is some more static before the signal ends.New Quest: The Connoisseur
Some dude wants food delivered to his house. Seriously, that's it.
Conditions:
*Be the first one with 5 Large Pizzas, 80 Chicken Wings and 8 two-liter Soda Bottles to Richard Brooks in Buchad Beach Drive near Lake Winnebago in Fond Du Lac.
Reward: 1 Point
Name: Execute/Dumbo.exe "Amihiyotzinuatmotlapal"
Gender: Male
Nationality: Iranian/Russian
Karaindash: +2 Administration, +2 Diplomacy
Rufa Mae Quinto: +2 Acting, +2 Singing
The Other Face of Janus: +Ability: Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation
Arman Sedghi: +2 Engineering
Sviatopolk I of Kiev: +2 Military Strategy, +2 Assassination, +Loyal Boyar Subject
Jacques Bernard Hombron: +2 Medical, +2 Botany, +1 Sailing
Status: Left Arm Shot [Moderate Bleeding]
Points: 1
Assets: Conquistador's Pistol [1/1] [Moderate Reload], Shortsword , Police Pistol [9/9], M1903 Springfield Rifle [2/5] [Moderate Reload], Trench Knife
Abilities:
Trans-dimensional Painting Transportation - Can open up portals in paintings to travel in and out of them. A strange and enigmatic power, use it carefully.
Wings of Quetzalcoatl - Can fly.
Vassals: The Aztec Empire, The Texcocan Empire
Army:
Yuri - Aztec High Priest (Dagger, High Priest Robes, AR15 Assault Rifle [18/30] [Moderate Reload]) [In High Cover] [Right Foot Shot, Light Bleeding, -1 Agility]
87 Generals
309,000 Aztec Soldiers
Standard War Party Equipment - Bows, Obsidian Spears, Cloth Armor, Hardwood Helmets
Looted European Equipment: Muskets, Crossbows, Rapiers, Steel Armor, Steel Helmets
Name: Twinwolf
Gender: Male
Nationality: English/Yugoslavian
Johnny Strange: +2 Juggling, +2 Marksmanship, +Abilities: Black Hole Swallow Technique + Fire-breath Manipulator
Sluggish schizophrenia: +2 Psychological Torture
Dimitrije Ljotić: +2 Nationalistic Leadership, +2 Law, +Judge's Suit
Black Thunder: +Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area)
Kartouwe: +Kartouwe Cannon
Status: Left Side of Face Slashed [Serious Bleeding]
Assets: Judge's Suit, Black Thunder Chocolate Bar (When a bite of the bar is taken, lightning will randomly strike in the nearby area), Kartouwe Cannon, Lighter, Pistol [3/8]
Allies: 3 Patriots [Handguns, Knives] [2 Poisoned/Incapacitated, 1 Arm Slashed/Bleeding)]
Abilities:
Black Hole Swallow Technique - Swallows any dangerous weapon or object that can fit inside his stomach with no negative effects.
Fire-breath Manipulator - Inhales a nearby source of fire and then can breathe it out of his mouth.
Name: High tyrol
Gender: Female
Nationality: American
Dorothy Parker: +2 Poetry, +2 Short Story Writing, +2 Wit, +Flapper's Dress
2001 Australian Grand Prix: +2 Racecar Driving, + Racecar
Michael Goodwin: +2 Architecture, +1 Political Persuasion
Vulsellum: +Hooked Forceps
Armstrong Whitworth Siskin: +Armstrong Whitworth Siskin WWI Biplane
Tres dólares de plomo: +2 Wild West Guns, +2 Horseback Riding, +Wild West Revolver, +Cowboy Hat
Status: Fine
Points: 1
Assets: Racecar, Hooked Forceps, Standard Quality WWII Dogfighting Poem, Wild West Revolver [6/6] [Moderate Reload], Cowboy Hat [Gasoline Soaked], Pickup Truck [Superficial Frontal Damage], High Quality Poem: "The Sky God Came Down to Texas"
Name: Elephant Parade
Gender: Male
Nationality: Azerbaijani
Azerbaijani Art: +2 Art
Sean Buckley: +2 Entrepreneurship, +Thoroughbred Racehorse, +Business Suit
Thomas Wentworth: +2 Muskets, +1 Swords, +Musket, +British Empire Officer's Saber
LaVern Gibson Championship Cross Country Course: +2 Agility & Speed in Natural Environments
Jake Deitchler: +2 Wrestling
Dmitri Tymoczko: +2 Music Composition, +2 Music Theory
Status: Normal
Assets: Musket [1/1] [Moderate Reload], British Empire Officer's Saber, Untitled Song with Musket Fire, Thoroughbred Racehorse, Untitled Song Inspired by Animal Noises, Song Inspired by Horse: "Horse, Of Course"
Name: NAV
Gender: Male
Nationality: British/Polish
The Last Seven: +2 Scavenging, +2 Demon Hunting, +Bullpup Assault Rifle, +Post-Apocalyptic Rags
Bill Spence: +2 Driving, +Sports Car
Jaws Unleashed: +Ability: We Need A Bigger Boat
Ludomir Benedyktowicz: +2 Landscape Painting, +1 Guerrilla Warfare, +1 War Poetry, +1 Chess
Cardenas Medal: Cardenas Medal
Soucouyant: +Ability: The Bloodsucking Fireball
Status: Chest Shot [Light Bleeding]
Points: 1
Assets:
Abilities:
We Need A Bigger Boat! - While in water, NAV can turn into a Giant Great White Shark. While in this form, he gains +4 Swimming, +3 Biting, and eating large living organisms, such as dolphins or humans, will cure wounds.
The Bloodsucking Fireball - While in human form, NAV can shed all of his skin into a pile and turn into a sentient Fireball that can fly and fit through holes as small as a keyhole. The Fireball can not ignite people with fire, but it can attach to them and drain them of their blood like a vampire. If a person is killed in this way, they will become an NPC Soucouyant. If the Soucouyant encounters any rice, it is forced to gather the rice one grain at a time unless it is caught by a person in this act, in which case it must return back to where its skin lies before it can set out again. The Soucoyant can be hurt in its fireball form, but not killed, by water. If someone destroys the Soucoyant's human skin, it will die.
Name: DolosusDoleus
Gender:
Nationality:
Okita Rintarō: +2 Swords, +Katana, +Yari, +Samurai Armor, +Samurai Helmet
Bill Nichols: +2 Documentary Filming, +Filming Camera
2003 Cheltenham Gold Cup: +2 Horseback Riding, +Racehorse
John F. Bickford: +2 Sailing, +2 Naval Combat, +Civil War Revolver, +Naval Captain's Uniform
Borovo Treasure: +Pouch containing the Borovo Treasure
RV Belgica (1884): +RV Belgica Steamship
Status: Right Ankle Shot [-1 Agility, Light Bleeding]
Points: 1
Assets: Katana, Yari, Samurai Armor, Samurai Helmet, Filming Camera, Racehorse [Flank Shot: -2 Stamina, Moderate Bleeding], Civil War Revolver [6/6] [Moderate Reload], M1911 Pistol [1/7], Professional Medical Kit [25%], Potato Vehicle Keys, RV Belgica Steamship
Pouch [The Borovo Treasure]
Name: Beirus
Gender: Female
Nationality: Sevateem
Columbus Avenue Line: +2 Driving, +Public Transit Bus
Ferguson Monoplane: +Ferguson Monoplane
The Sentimentalists: +2 Jazz Singing
Beechcraft CT-134 Musketeer: +Beechcraft CT-134 Musketeer Aircraft
Leela (Doctor Who): +2 Primitive Combat, +2 Reflexes, +Primitive Knife, +Poisonous Janis Throwing Thorns, +Animal Skin Clothing
Status: Left Leg Slashed [Light Bleeding]
Assets: Public Transit Bus, Ferguson Monoplane, Beechcraft CT-134 Musketeer Aircraft, Primitive Knife, Poisonous Janis Throwing Thorns, Animal Skin Clothing, Bus Key, 2 Aircraft Keys
Name: MidnightJaguar
Gender: Male
Nationality: Indian/American
Joe Nixon: +2 Law, +2 Politics
Karikala Chola: +2 Mounted Warfare, +2 Fire Resistance, +Royal
Chola Robes, +Royal Chola Turban, +War Elephant
Dave Ramsey: +Ability: "Free Yourself From Debt Today!"
G. Clifton Thompson: +2 Curling, +Curling Stone, +Curling Broom
Arthur Vidrine: +1 Medical, +WWI Rifle
Status: Fine
Assets: Royal Chola Robes, Royal Chola Turban, War Elephant [Armor, Saddle] [Light Bleeding], Curling Stone, Curling Broom, WWI Rifle [5/5] [Moderate Reload]
Abilities:
"Free Yourself From Debt Today!" - If MidnightJaguar points to someone in-person and declares "You are debt free!", all of their personal financial debt is instantly eliminated. He can only do this once, but for every Point he earns he can perform this action an additional time.
Name: Ukrainian Ranger
Gender: Hermaphroditic
Nationality: Snailtopia
Jack O' Neill (Stargate): +2 Military Firearms, +2 Aircraft Piloting, +FN P90 Assault Rifle, +M1911 Pistol, +Air Force Colonel's Uniform, +Ability: A Rip in Time & Space
Utah Roundmouth Snail: -1 Agility, +Ability: Snail-Person
USS Earle (DD-635): +USS Earle Destroyer
Neural Tissue Engineering: +2 Medical (+3 Neurological Medicine)
USS SC-501: +USS SC-501 Submarine Chaser
Status: Fine
Assets: FN P90 Assault Rifle [50/50] [Moderate Reload], M1911 Pistol [7/7], Air Force Colonel's Uniform, USS Earle Destroyer, USS SC-501 Submarine Chaser
Abilities:
A Rip in Time & Space [Passive] - There are hidden sites all over the universe that house latent Wormholes to other planets, universes, even dimensions. Ukrainian Ranger will be notified when they get close to one of these Wormholes, which they are able to open and travel through. These Wormholes will remain open and able to be transversed by anyone as long as Ukrainian keeps them open, and is alive.
Snail-Person - Ukrainian Ranger is a humanoid snail creature. They have a human figure, meaning they are bipedal, stand upright, have limbs and hands are overall shaped like a person. Their snail features include slimy skin, two beady eyes sticking out of their head, a toothless mouth and a constantly wavy, bubbling, high-pitched androgynous voice. Most prominently is the large shell upon their backs that due to its weight makes them slower than your average Wiki-Warrior, however, they can retract their entire flexible body into the hardened shell for protection.
Goodnight Sweet Prince
The skies over Minnesota remain purple, it seems that Prince isn't willing to go just yet. He left behind a cryptic note asking for "One last performance in the purifying waters."
Conditions:
*Locate the "purifying waters".
*Perform a cover of Purple Rain at this location, uninterrupted for a full turn. At the very least it should be a great performance so getting an [8] on the performance roll is required to fulfill the Quest. Music/Performance related abilities count toward this roll.
Reward: 2 Points
The Connoisseur
Some dude wants food delivered to his house. Seriously, that's it.
Conditions:
*Be the first one with 5 Large Pizzas, 80 Chicken Wings and 8 two-liter Soda Bottles to Richard Brooks in Buchad Beach Drive near Lake Winnebago in Fond Du Lac.
Reward: 1 Point
While everyone's characters range from odd to bizarre, Ukrainian Ranger latest spawn makes a strong case for the leader in the weirdness category. Also, I don't know that much about Stargate so if anyone wants me to know about a signature trait or ability of Jack O' Neill's, please do inform me. As far as I can gather from the Wiki pages, he's a cool military leader guy who fights aliens from other dimensions, though I assume there is more to him than that. 
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Topic: Wikipedia-Wars: Round 73 - A Coruna Showdown (Read 161648 times)