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[Tomasque]

I am Blue. I have a hostage. I intend to take their grass in exchange for releasing it.

I volunteer to be the "hostage!"

[AkumaKasai]

I am red. I have the blue team's grass. I intend to plant it.

[poketwo]

I'z Orky Green! as I'z no freebooter! I'z a propa Big Mek named BOLTWRENCHA! I'z gonna krump da Humies with me flashy new STOMPA OF DEFF UND DESTRUCTION!

[Generally me]

I am that Tree in the middle of the map.

And shall slap the shit outta people who walk past me

[Nosaneinme]

I'm ROMAN PURPLE and i'm am SPACE-ROMAN WITH LASER ballista(Laser rife) and Pulim(Pistol) in hand.


FOR THE GLORY OF ROMA

[Andres]

I am red, fighting for glorious Arstotzka to take back our rightful grass from those filthy blue Moskurgs. I drive a steampowered AS-T15 tank. I will crush the Moskurgs and destroy all of Arstotzka's enemies with my guns.

Glory to Arstotzka.

[Salsacookies]

I am Yellow. I have nothing. I sit and watch the battle, enjoying my neutrality.

[Fr0stByt3]

I am purple. I have popcorn. I share this with Salsa as I watch the mayhem.

[Elephant Parade]

GET EQUIPPED
WITH

WAY TOO MUCH STUFF

I am red. I have a bicycle. I intend to ride that bicycle across the blue line.

[3]Your bicycle is pretty old, and only has one speed. Luckily, that speed is pretty fast!

Blue.

This.

Lay down suppressing artillery barrages for my team members.

[3]You have a catapult, as well as a bunch of large rocks.

I am blue.  I have a tsar tank.  And both I and my tsar tank will cross the red line.

[3]You have a toy tank—with real treads! Wowee!

I am red. I have a potato gun. I intend to launch potatoes at the blue team.

[1]You have a bowl of rotten potato salad.

I am Red. I have a phillip's head screwdriver. I fully intend to shank someone.

[1]You have a rusty spoon.

I am blue.

I have a disguise kit.

I intent to disguise as the enemy team, bring sub-par grass to the enemy ("I snuck behind enemy lines!") and stay there, waiting for an oppurtunity to steal a weapon and use it to stealthy take down my enemies 1 by 1.

[5]You do have a disguise kit! A perfect one, too. You can disguise yourself as anything!

I am Red with my Frozen Skittles which i use to throw at the opponent.

[3]Your skittles thawed a few minutes ago.

I am Blue. I have a sniper rifle and I plan to shoot all commies coming in our direction.

[4]Your sniper rifle shoots rocks, rather than bullets.

I am Blue, I have a lawnmower, I will use it to mow down the opposition and remove their grass.

[6]You have the DEATH MOWER 3000, a blade-covered lawnmower with fifty speeds, a mounted cannon, and a detachable sword. It's a bit of a gas-guzzler, though, and you don't have much gas.

I am red. I have a baby in a stroller. I will use it to elicit sympathy, and surprise attack my opponents.

[3]You have a puppy in a pet stroller.

Red Team. I have a red herring. I will throw it in a random direction in order to mislead the enemy team.

[2]You have a rotten herring. It might've been red, once, but now it's just brown.

I am Blue. I have a hostage. I intend to take their grass in exchange for releasing it.

[2]You have a scarecrow, which you have cleverly disguised as a hostage. (Nobody else thinks it's a clever disguise.)

I am red. I have a shield made of reflective iron. I intend on stealing the capitalist pigs grass.

[4]That is a thing you have.

I am a horse. I want to indiscriminately eat all of the grass.

I am a diplomat. I propose switching lines, because both teams think the other teams line has better grass than their own.

I am a blue space wizard. I will use my teleporter to teleport behind the enemy's line, steal their grass, and teleport back to my line.

Uh, no. You can have a thing, not be a thing. Rolling for the teleporter.
[4]You have a teleporter. The destination isn't calibrated, but it'll be somewhere in front of the teleporter.

I am red. I have the blue team's grass. I intend to plant it.

[5]You have a sizable amount of Blue Team grass. Their grass is still there, though. Weird.

I'z Orky Green! as I'z no freebooter! I'z a propa Big Mek named BOLTWRENCHA! I'z gonna krump da Humies with me flashy new STOMPA OF DEFF UND DESTRUCTION!

[1]You're looking pretty green—nausea does that. You're nauseous because the guy across from you is holding a bowl of rotten potato salad, and that's super gross. You have a wrench. You are on the blue team.

I am that Tree in the middle of the map.

[4]You are the left bush.

I'm ROMAN PURPLE and i'm am SPACE-ROMAN WITH LASER ballista(Laser rife) and Pulim(Pistol) in hand.

FOR THE GLORY OF ROMA

The colour purple does not exist. You are a roman mercenary.

[4]You have a rock.

I am red, fighting for glorious Arstotzka to take back our rightful grass from those filthy blue Moskurgs. I drive a steampowered AS-T15 tank. I will crush the Moskurgs and destroy all of Arstotzka's enemies with my guns.

Glory to Arstotzka.

[3]You have a train set.

I am Yellow. I have nothing. I sit and watch the battle, enjoying my neutrality.

[3]You have almost nothing; you still have a body, as well as a yellow shirt.

I am purple. I have popcorn. I share this with Salsa as I watch the mayhem.

The colour purple does not exist. You are yellow.

[5]You have some top-quality popcorn. Definitely worth wasting a 5 for!

[Elephant Parade]

Action Phase

I am red. I have a bicycle. I intend to ride that bicycle across the blue line.

[3]You start to pedal across the grass. You're not that great at bicycles, unfortunately.

Blue.

This.

Lay down suppressing artillery barrages for my team members.

[2]You try and fail to lift a rock.

I am blue.  I have a tsar tank.  And both I and my tsar tank will cross the red line.

[2]You make "vroom vroom" sounds, but nothing happens! It must be defective.

I am red. I have a potato gun. I intend to launch potatoes at the blue team.

[5]You throw the potato salad across the field. It sails through the air, eventually hitting the catapult guy in the head.

Ew. That's pretty gross.

I am Red. I have a phillip's head screwdriver. I fully intend to shank someone.

[4]You brandish your spoon, let out a battle cry, and rush toward the other team.

I am blue.

I have a disguise kit.

I intent to disguise as the enemy team, bring sub-par grass to the enemy ("I snuck behind enemy lines!") and stay there, waiting for an oppurtunity to steal a weapon and use it to stealthy take down my enemies 1 by 1.

[2]You disguise yourself as the colour red, rip out a bush, and begin dragging it toward the other team. It's pretty slow going.

I am Red with my Frozen Skittles which i use to throw at the opponent.

[4]You throw the package of skittles.

It hits—what is wrong with that man's face? Talk about a horrifying skin condition.

I am Blue, I have a lawnmower, I will use it to mow down the opposition and remove their grass.

[6]You rampage across the field, tearing up grass, dirt, and rocks.

And some roman guy.

I am red. I have a baby in a stroller. I will use it to elicit sympathy, and surprise attack my opponents.

[1]You throw the stroller into the air.

It's surprisingly aerodynamic. Your opponents are disgusted!

Red Team. I have a red herring. I will throw it in a random direction in order to mislead the enemy team.

[3]You throw it behind you. That's pretty weird, but not quite confusing. Puzzling, more like.

I'z Orky Green! as I'z no freebooter! I'z a propa Big Mek named BOLTWRENCHA! I'z gonna krump da Humies with me flashy new STOMPA OF DEFF UND DESTRUCTION!

[6]You throw your wrench across the room, hitting the disgusting potato salad man in the face. They have quite the bruise!

Of course, you no longer have the wrench. It was worth it, though.

I am Blue. I have a hostage. I intend to take their grass in exchange for releasing it.

[1]You hold up the scarecrow and begin your spiel, but, uh...

Your ruse is revealed! Embarrasing.

I am red. I have a shield made of reflective iron. I intend on stealing the capitalist pigs grass.

[1]You trip over a rock and fall forward, bashing your head on the shield.

That really hurts!

I am a horse. I want to indiscriminately eat all of the grass.

I am a diplomat. I propose switching lines, because both teams think the other teams line has better grass than their own.

I am a blue space wizard. I will use my teleporter to teleport behind the enemy's line, steal their grass, and teleport back to my line.

[3]You teleport forward several feet.

It's less tiring than walking! Pretty nauseating, though.

I am red. I have the blue team's grass. I intend to plant it.

[4]You don't have any tools, so you dump it on the ground.

Mmm, nothing like green grass in the afternoon. You think it's the afternoon, at least; there doesn't seem to be a sun.

I am red, fighting for glorious Arstotzka to take back our rightful grass from those filthy blue Moskurgs. I drive a steampowered AS-T15 tank. I will crush the Moskurgs and destroy all of Arstotzka's enemies with my guns.

Glory to Arstotzka.

[2]You throw the blue train on the ground.

That'll show them!

I am Yellow. I have nothing. I sit and watch the battle, enjoying my neutrality.

[3]You suddenly lose sight in one eye.

I am Blue. I have a sniper rifle and I plan to shoot all commies coming in our direction.

[5]You get a headshot on that horrible puppy-thrower, who dies.

Along with your next action, please post some text or an image.

I am purple. I have popcorn. I share this with Salsa as I watch the mayhem.

[1]You try to pass him the container, but he fumbles it.

Aww, you paid a 5 for that!

Overview

Spoiler: Dead? Return to life with this ONE CHEAP TRICK (click to show/hide)

wait until next turn 6 new replies have been posted. You may wish to review your post.

wait until you're alive again

Also, please post the object you wish to have when you respawn.

[blazing glory]

Don't slow down! Mow down the guy with the bike and then divert my course to the guy on his shield.

[Paphi]

Grab the wrench! Dismantle the DEATH MOWER 3000! Or at least bludgeon its driver to death.

[Megggas]

I am blue.  I have a flamethrower.  I intend to set the enemy team's grass on fire, as well as any enemies standing above that grass.

[Fr0stByt3]

Throw the empty popcorn thing at a random person in anger.

[poketwo]

I'ze nots sick or a hummie, Iz actualy a kommando under the survice of Big Mek BOLTWRENCHA, and with tis wreanch I'z shall build a tellyporta for BOLTWRENCHA and 'is STOMPA UFF DETH!!!!!

But first grab the wrench, I'z needz itz.