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[Mzbundifund]

...you pointy-eared twinkle-toed curly-shoed stringy-haired skirt-wearing limp-wristed beardless ponce; we literally tore a hole in the mountain, and slept in the mud for THREE YEARS while we waited for these tower caps to grow, and you come dancing in here, clutching your grass and berries like you're Armok's Sodding Gift To Dwarves, and tell us that we can't make beds out of the mushrooms that wouldn't even be here if wasn't for us, and that we can't decorate them with the bones of the kittens that wouldn't even be butchered if it wasn't for us, and you do it all with that simpering expression on your face!?!  The only reason why I'm not pulling this lever and spreading you all over the front hall is that we'd never get the sodding smell out of the place, and Urist here tells me he couldn't stand that!

GET OUT!

[Sappho]

Well you sure told someone off.

[Jusal]

...I take it you don't want to buy this rope reed cloth then?

[Dwarmin]

I think hes channeling Gordon Ramsey.

[Fishersalwaysdie]

Urist is a rather common dwarf name now isn't it?
Boatmurdered also had one mentioned.

[Mzbundifund]

Yeah, Urist was the nearest dwarf when I had this thought.  I imagine this guy spitting like crazy while he's ranting.

I actually don't have anything against the elves.

[Rondol]

Elves are pansie little girls.

Unfortunately, they're the same kind of "pansie little girl" as ninja grandmasters, and they have bows. Bows shoot pointy bits of wood, and pointy bits of wood have a nasty habit of making hale, drunken dwarves into pale, drunken corpses.

[BurnedToast]

What makes it all the more hilarious is the huge limit they set - always over a hundred and usually closer to 150.

On a normal, lots of trees map you should have most your beds and bins built by the time you get the noble that triggers the elf diplomat so you don't need many trees.

on a very low or treeless map, even with a tree farm you won't generally get that many in a year unless the tree farm is *HUGE* and even then, what do you need that many tress for?

I always got the impression the elf diplomat was trying to talk big and boss you around, but didn't have the stones to lay out any real demands that you actually might break.

[Savok]

On a treeless map, due to tower-cap limits, if you cut down all trees when they grow, you'll average less than 70 a year.

[Mzbundifund]

I tend to build deep in the mountain, so I rarely trek outside for wood, even for bins and barrels.  I usually shoot for magma and make brass containers.

[Lokum]

"The god king has but a simple request"

"?"

"You limit your tree cutting to 100 trees a year severly halting any comfortable living; you continue to slave away at making precious metal weapons for my people"

"and in return?"

"we will give berries and rope"

*draws blade*

"this is blasphemey, this is madness!! No dwarf threatens an Eleven merchant"

" ...you pointy-eared twinkle-toed curly-shoed stringy-haired skirt-wearing limp-wristed beardless ponce; we literally tore a hole in the mountain, and slept in the mud for THREE YEARS while we waited for these tower caps to grow, and you come dancing in here, clutching your grass and berries like you're Armok's Sodding Gift To Dwarves, and tell us that we can't make beds out of the mushrooms that wouldn't even be here if wasn't for us, and that we can't decorate them with the bones of the kittens that wouldn't even be butchered if it wasn't for us, and you do it all with that simpering expression on your face!?! The only reason why I'm not pulling this lever and spreading you all over the front hall is that we'd never get the sodding smell out of the place, and Urist here tells me he couldn't stand that! "

Now it sounds much cooler.

[Sylverone]

"Madness?! This is Dwarf Fortress!"

Seriously, that was pretty funny. The way they are now, the elves aren't that great. I can't wait until they are fleshed out more, so that they are actually cool, and not just "pansy little girls" - with bows.

[Asehujiko]

I find it funny that they walk over a wooden road and bridge without touble but when they encounter a shell earring...

In my next fortress i'm going to turn my entire road in a totem stockpile. And i'm gonna decorate my noble quarters with them, hoping they take the hint about mandates.

[Mzbundifund]

We conduct our diplomatic meetings from this...

[Lightning4]

quote:Originally posted by Mzbundifund:
<STRONG>We conduct our diplomatic meetings from this...

  </STRONG>

Should have made it out of wood, and decorate with wood and kitten bones.

Or better yet, if you ever have them die, decorate it with Elf bone!