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[Wysthric]

Been there, filled it with racecar*, and people involved in community around said car.
Didn't help with the sex bit though.

I thought those two things were intricately linked?   

Seriously, this actually sounds pretty cool! I'll consider it.

Don't buy a boat, and don't buy a ton of shit to make you feel better. That's a drain on your time and finances, go spend them better by joining local clubs, traveling, pursuing hobbies, and meeting new people. Socialize!!!!

Hobbies it is! I did indeed bring that cake into work today. The girls always say nice stuff about my cooking, although that might be because they've basically adopted me and don't want to offend. Working on that could be a first option.

Currently I have a LOT of admin to do - booking plane tickets, securing extra work to keep me busier, moving out, finalizing taxes etc. so it seems like there's a barrier on the fun side of things, but eventually stuff will work out, I suppose. Just gotta keep chugging away.

Thanks for your time and advice everyone.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Godspeed you magnificent bastard.

[birdy51]

Exploring Culinary arts might not actually be that bad of an idea. Keep experimenting with it. While it may not become a career, but being able to cook well is never a bad thing. Ever.

[That Wolf]

Isnt a midlife crisis a realisation of ones mortality?
yeah I had mine when I was 17 I found it an experience I gleened alot from.
Just keep being you and it will attract similar people, learning to cook is a human must, like fire building the ability to hunt food, patience, ability to let the sick and retarded to die.... did I miss something here or have we all become weak? 

[Wysthric]

Isnt a midlife crisis a realisation of ones mortality?
yeah I had mine when I was 17 I found it an experience I gleened alot from.
Just keep being you and it will attract similar people, learning to cook is a human must, like fire building the ability to hunt food, patience, ability to let the sick and retarded to die.... did I miss something here or have we all become weak? 

Well I work in a healthcare profession so I am very much against anyone dying.

[That Wolf]

Theres money to be made in healthcare!

[Wysthric]

Theres money to be made in healthcare!

There is indeed. Money is currently not a problem for me, it's trying to do stuff I'll enjoy with my free time that is.

[Funk]

Wysthric you need to get out the house.

Instead of a boat, what about a car? now you'll still be butchered of insurance of a few more years on anything nice but fixing and repairing a nice car can be a rewarding hobby.

So get an old car and a lock-up (your garrage is too full of crap to think about useing).

[Levi]

I motivate myself by going for early retirement. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/

Only 10 more years till I'm living in a yurt in the forest with some dogs and nothing but free time.   

[Wysthric]

Wysthric you need to get out the house.

Instead of a boat, what about a car? now you'll still be butchered of insurance of a few more years on anything nice but fixing and repairing a nice car can be a rewarding hobby.

So get an old car and a lock-up (your garrage is too full of crap to think about useing).

I have a car! It's 9 years old. Trouble is, it's only made in Japan now so getting parts might be tough.

[Wysthric]

Oh man, I think I fucked up today. Big time. 

I've been going to bed late the last few days and now that I've had a day off I had a massive lie in (~4PM). Trouble is, my friend wanted me to take him to a nearby city (1 Hour Drive there) so he could return some books. I said I'd try to. Unfortunately, getting up super late rendered this plan moot.

Understandably, my friend sent me a text saying he was really pissed off and he didn't want to meet up with me at all. I asked if I could take the books off him and return them myself at a later date (He went away a few hours ago), but he ignored that offer. This wouldn't be too bad a thing to patch over in the long run, except I'm not seeing him for a while and he might have been on the verge of fed up with me.

Sad thing is at the time I really didn't care because I thought to myself "I've always done way more for this guy than he's done for me. Why should I feel bad about one little fuck - over?" but that's not how friendships work, is it?

I always prided myself on being a loyal person when I was younger, but now I'm thinking to myself that as long as I have some form of company, I don't care who it is.

What is love, Bay 12? 

[jaked122]

What is love, Bay 12? 

Now what is love? Chemically speaking, oxytocin, throw in some pepsine argenine vasopressin and sprinkle liberally with dopamine. Now given that you aren't trying to create a pair bond with a wall, you probably want to do those things with another person(s). And hanging out with other people who aren't doing the same regimen would likely lead to undesirable outcomes on your part.

More seriously, if your friend can't accept a single fuckup and see past it, then generally they aren't suitable for long term friendship. Given the chaotic nature of life, it is only a matter of time until such a specimen runs out of people that they call friends; the move onto things they call friends is sad though.

Guilt isn't productive. Feeling guilty certainly so.

The best way to deal with it is to apologize and maybe do something nice for him, go a little out of your way as some kind of consolation. If you can get him to see it that way, it'll be fine. Unless of course the trip your friend wanted was more important than you guessed or were lead to believe. In which case the communication issue lies on his side, and you can have that little nugget of consolation.

Loyalty cannot be perfect  in a chaotic world, in a life powered by neurons and electrons, there's little space for loyalty to dwell, mix that with a society bubbling with entropy and complexity, and the last vestiges of its refuge collapse.

It's the thought that counts.

[i2amroy]

What is love, Bay 12? 

Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!

That said yeah, it's important to remember that friendships are a give and take, and if people aren't willing to give and forgive the occasional mistake, then honestly they probably aren't someone you necessarily want as a friend. You shouldn't necessarily feel bad about making a single mistake, once, and yeah, probably the best way to deal with it is an apology and then go on with your life. If they can't forgive it then let them go, because honestly if someone can't forgive a single mistake then I certainly know that I wouldn't want them as a "friend", loyalty be damned.

[Wysthric]

A FEW WEEKS LATER

I'm still going through a load of ups and downs. I think losing (geographically) two of my best friends has hit me really hard. One of them has moved from the UK to Jersey. This person is very career focused. We talk, but it's a stunted conversation because if I ever admit that I've been unhappy he goes on a tirade of how I should grow up and leave the dead - end town I'm in and find new friends etc. I know he's trying to be helpful, and it does cause me to consider action (that I ultimately will delay or not do) but it's also incredibly depressing. The fact is, my job is pretty much the same wherever, I've got contacts here, and moving somewhere different isn't going to solve the problem that I'm now without my two best friends, who, combined with the awesome job I had last year, were what I really cared about most.

Since starting this new job, I've actually gained the ability to be confident, but I haven't seen reason to use it yet, outside of team leadership. I'm also struggling with the idea that "growing up" apparently means valuing yourself highly. I understand the concept, but for me to view everyone as a means to the end is an affront to what I stand for. This may seem bizarre to you, but the idea that because I'm suddenly an adult I can start throwing my moral weight around is puzzling. I know I'm worth something - which is an improvement to before - but I still can't get to grips with the idea of putting myself before people I consider very kind.

About hobbies... I've slacked here, if I'm honest. I've been busy sorting out administrative stuff (getting credit card, signing up to agencies, planning holiday) and to be honest I haven't been troubled by too much free time. I still make cakes on occasion which I share with some workmates, although my friend says this is odd and I should stop it.    Fitness has been going rather good as well; I might try for a 10km run at some point.

No luck at all on the dating front despite my attempts to get some decent pictures (using Tinder). I guess I'll have to try extra - hard to get my goblin - elf hybrid features to look good.  My friend had been nagging me to use it for a long time, and now that I'm sort of lonely, I caved in. However, my worst fears were realized when nobody actually liked me. 

If we're going to end on a positive note, I enjoy my job when I'm in the process of doing it (even if career advancement chances are pretty much zilch) and I'm totally 100% fine for cash for now and the forseeable future. I have more self esteem than I used to have, although I have trouble believing this makes me more important than other people. And I'm very relieved I've been able to share this all with you; it's made this a thousand times better. Any thoughts? Anybody have similar experiences? I'd love to start a support group for "lost and confused young professionals"! XD