Nimma Splatterunited was a human swordsman, born in the year 100 in the town of Actionfish.
Nimma had no recollection of his parents, being brought up by Omo Sandhedges, the Sacred Velvet of the Sect of Meadows, a religious group of the Awe-inspiring Realm. The sect worshipped the deity, Beksur, a goddess of festivals, music and dance, whose existance Nimma always questioned. Regardless, he still followed their teachings.
Until one evening. Nimma had a great vision in his sleep. A vision of adventure, glory, gold, women, and most temptingly of all, glorious combat. Believing this to be a vision from the god of gods, Armok himself, Nimma took some equipment meant for the local militia from the warehouse, including an iron long sword, a shield and a knuckleduster.
Despite the rush of adventure overwhelming his higher reasoning, Nimma was uncertain. He had never used swords or indeed any type of weapon in his life as the adopted son of a peaceful religious figure. So he decided to start small.
He caught some news in the local tavern of filthy, skulking kobolds gathering in a camp in the wilderness near the town. Hearing this, Nimma set out immediately.
Having arrived, one thing that immediately struck him is the stench of dead bodies rotting in the sun. Someone had come earlier and wiped out a significant population of the kobolds... No matter, there were still a few left. Nimma started by charging at an unarmed kobold, surprised to find himself a natural at wielding a sword and shield. The kobold tried to run away in fear for its life, but was quickly crippled with a swift stab to the leg. The snapping of the legbone was soon followed by the kobold screaming in pain, begging in it's native tongue before being silenced by a jab through the head. Nimma was briefly horrified by this, having never taken a life of any creature before. He quickly regained his composure and went to finish the job, killing another wrestler, a hammerman and the camp champions, an Axe Lord and a Macelord. Nimma was disappointed, thinking the kobolds were unworthy opponents; even their champions were as cowardly as their less-skilled brethren. Regardless, he took the skulls of the camp leaders as a trophy, and made bits of leather out of their bodies for later use, while also using their bones to make a glaive.
Needing to rest, the young adventurer journeyed to the dwarven hillocks of Anguishfloors. Night was falling, and he needed a safe place to rest, lest the bogeymen got him.
Having slept for the night, Nimma had one last place to visit in the dwarven village - the drinking mound.
In it, he was offered local dwarven mead, the taste of which he could only describe as bliss and heaven.
Two dwarves in particular caught his attention, seemingly even more drunk than the other ones, being barely able to stand on their own two feet.
He got to know them - Sigun Skinnymachine and Meng Staffsplashes, two veterans of the Scorching War, waged against the goblins of the Malice of Barbs. Having seen their closest friends brutally murdered, butchered and impaled on spears by the goblins and their unholy master, they resorted to drowning their sorrows to forget about the pain. Nimma offered them a potential better life - or a warrior's death - if they joined him. Having nothing to lose, both dwarves agreed to it, and the three headed out to Glumnessshield, a centaur raider camp...
Edit: Time for the second part of the story.
As the group was approaching Glumnessshield, Nimma handed over the bone glaive he crafted earlier to Meng.
This proved to be a wise move, as a giant lion had been stalking them through the wilderness, intending to make Nimma and his companions it's next meal. It ambushed them and tried to take out Sigun first, seeing as he was unarmed. However, it didn't account for Nimma's precision and surprising agility, who quickly jammed his sword in the beast's neck, fracturing it's spine. The animal passed out from the sheer pain, which allowed the 3 companions to finish it off. Meng was still rather drunk and tried to stab the lion in the head, but only managed to scrape it, tearing the skin. Nimma put the giant feline down with a decapitating slash. He then butchered the body, using it's skin to make a leather shield for Meng and it's bones to make a maul which he handed over to Sigun.
Inside the camp itself, Nimma was cautious. He had heard of the centaurs' natural combat prowess, which rivaled even certain heroes. Trying to sneak on the outside of the perimeter in order to pick out loners, he almost didn't notice when an enraged Sigun charged, yelling at the centaur leader, an Elite Bowman.
Sigun seemed to have sobered up at that point, as he was able to kill the horseman with a 2-hit combo.
Nimma, though, noticed that an axewoman embedded her weapon in Sigun's back, which the enraged dwarf didn't seem to feel. Not wanting to lose a valuable companion, the human rushed over and crippled the centauress before cleaving her skull.
As Nimma looked for Meng and other centaur warriors, Sigun had already set his eyes on another raider, and immediately ran screaming towards him.
This ultimately proved to be Sigun's downfall, as the horseman simply blocked his attack and severed the dwarf's foot, then proceeded to chop off the rest of his leg.
A horrified Nimma tried to save his companion, but was stopped by another raider. The fight took too long, by the time the adventurer had slain the barbarian his friend had already bled to death.
Filled with a never felt before rage, Nimma proceeded to painfully maim and kill Sigun's murderer. What only compounded his rage was the discovery of Meng's dead, mutilated body.
In an act of blind revenge, the furious human killed every centaur in the camp, except two. A sleeping centaur didn't wake up despite the carnage going on around him, an opportunity which Nimma took to send a message. He tore off the horseman's clothes, took his axe and used it to cut off his arm, then mutilated his face, gouging out his eyes, tearing off his ears and nose, then finally punching out all his teeth. He left the pathetic heap of disfigurementation alive, but as he was leaving he heard a galloping sound, shortly followed by a sharp pain in the back of his neck. Turning around, he decapitated the horsewoman.
The axewoman had stuck her axe in Nimma's neck, which he didn't remove out of fear of bleeding to death right there and then. Having calmed down, the adventurer took the corpses of his companions. He then noticed a most peculiar sight - a seemingly drunken human stumbled onto the campsite, looking like a warrior in the service of a local lord. Nimma offered the man a chance to join his quest, which the axeman accepted.
They headed to Renowntome, Cubra's hometown. There, amidst the summer trees, Nimma gave his dead companions a funeral pyre, to honor their memory. Embittered but still determined, he went to the local mead hall, where he recruited an orcish swordsman, Tello Dalesoothes.
The greenskin told Nimma of a family of ettins that have been terrorizing the surrounding villages. The adventurer felt he was too weak in his current state to take on it.
He recalled a story told he heard from a strange woman in his youth. It was rumored that those who brave the trials of the tower of Wonderedblades would gain immense magical power.
Inexplicably, Nimma knew where to go.
Having arrived, the three camped out in front of the tower. While Cubra and Tello were still sleeping, Nimma left and proceeded to conquer the tower, inhabitated by Firemen. The scorching heat exuded by the elementals was almost unbearable, however the determined human pushed on and eventually found a strange sphalerite slab - Keshshakumstiz, or Sweltersizzled in the human language. Reading the inscriptions carved on it, a new-found power and vigor seemingly entered Nimma's body, as though liquid fire was now running through his veins. He never felt this awake.
Turning to leave, he found the Firemen no longer tried to kill him, seemingly having accepted him as one of their own.
The sun was already up by the time he left. Nimma woke up his companions, and they proceeded to head towards the Special Brain, the lair of the ettin family.
There, they entered a hole in the ground and saw one of the two-headed beasts along with it's child.
The fight was difficult, the three's attacks barely seemed to cause the primitive giants' any pain. Even being stabbed through either of their heads only made them angrier.
The ettins' immense physical strength showed when the younger one held down Tello by his upper body while the other gave a mighty roar and punched the orc's head, pulping it. The loss of their companion sent Nimma and Cubra into a blind rage, cleaving the throats of the ettins.
The child ettin quickly died of blood loss. As the elder one collapsed to the ground, choking on his own blood, Nimma decided to make fun of the beasts' predicament.
The ettin, unable to speak anymore, hawked bloody spit in Nimma's general direction, before his eyes rolled up and he became stiff.
Hearing more ettins in the lair, the pyromancer told Cubra to stand back. Snapping his fingers, a jet of fire filled their dwelling. However, one of the two-headed savages jumped out of the blaze, knocking over Nimma and grabbing his axeman companion, before crushing his head with it's massive fist. Having lost another group, the pyromancer was furious beyond anything he experienced before. He picked up a gauntlet from the ground, and threw it with great force.
As the ettin tried to catch it's breath, Nimma lunged with his sword and proceeded to wildly slash and stab every bit of the ettin's body, severing motor nerves and tearing tendons and arteries.
This act of savagery scared even the giant.
As it lay on the ground in a miserable heap, Nimma jumped on the ettin's torso and, with great precision, struck its chest with his knuckleduster.
It bled to death shortly thereafter.
Nimma butchered the body of the ettin, using it's bones to make several figurines.
Lastly, he used its skin to make a backpack and a cloak.
Dazed, Nimma headed for the nearby village of Dearbutter, where he received the aid of Wisho Wetmaze, a human spearwoman, and Malduz Boltsfold, a naga bowman. The hamlets' lady, the naga Astspub Sealgarlics, noticing the various skulls strapped to clothing and the ettin leather cloak on Nimma's person, correctly assumed he was a mighty warrior, and requested aid.
Sluda Roastedtattoos, the lord of Simplewards, an important naga hamlet, had been cursed by a god for his lack of temperance and was subsequently turned into a hungering abomination. A cult rose up and was sacrificing villagers to this aberration. A force rose up to combat them, but was unsuccessful so far.
Nimma accepted, deciding he had nothing to lose. The journey was treacherous and he would have to travel through centaur territory.
The trek to Simplewards took around a week, during which Wisho lost her life to a centaur raider, whose skull Nimma attached to his backpack, as he had done with the skulls of the kobold champions. His bones made a fine whip and shield as well...
Malduz abandoned him soon thereafter, fearing the pyromancer as a demon of fire in human form.
Being alone once again, Nimma stopped to wait out the night in Flynets, a dwarven hillocks. There he recruited Badu Paddlestrangers the human bowman and a female dwarven drunk by the name of Rith Blockadelenses, who was unskilled but proved handy with a whip.
At last having arrived at the mead hall in Simplewards, sounds of battle could be heard coming from inside, and several naga quickly slithered away from the hall. As he heard a frightening roar followed by a grotesque gurgling noise, chills ran down Nimma's spine, fearing this would be an opponent unlike any he faced before.
The first thing that struck him was the horrible stench coming from inside, like a combination of a dug-up cadaver and bodily waste. It stung his eyes and nostrils, but it was nothing compared to the sight.
The horrid creature once known as Sluda Roastedtattoos was a massive, gluttonous monster, with five eyes on different areas of its body, and it's head was nothing more than a horrific, fanged maw with a staring eye on the top of its skull. It's stomach had split open and was simply another mouth for it to feed with.
All around, the cultists were fighting with the local militia. Nimma took this opportunity and ran to a distracted Sluda, who was trying to devour whole a militia captain. He cut off the beasts foot, spraying viscuous, orange blood out of the wound, and causing the monster to fall over. Before it fell, the glutton threw up from both of its mouths, managing to cover Rith with it's bile. As she was distracted trying desperately not to vomit herself, Sluda bit deep into her leg, severing it's motor nerves, causing Rith to fall over.
Nimma distracted the beast by cutting off its arm, spraying even more disgusting blood over the stone floor. Sluda crawled slowly towards Rith, trying to get one more bite, but he had lost too much blood and soon went limp.
Relieved, Nimma dragged Rith to a corner so she wouldn't get hurt any more, and helped the militia finish off the cult members.
Oslox told the pyromancer of similar events happening around the countryside, including one at the town of Leaflancer. Obtasp Baldnessnamed the First Silver, a religious leader of the Walled Order, had become indolent and was cursed for it by Smatspo, the naga deity of mountains and caverns.
Nimma, Rith and Badu set off immediately. The trek to Leaflancer was uneventful save for a cougar attack in the mountains night and the three seeing a group of creatures none of them had ever seen before.
Nimma killed one of them and decided to take its skull, perhaps to sell it to a merchant for a fair price.
Upon arriving in the Leaflancer marketplace, the companions immediately noticed a commotion. Merchants were running away in fear. Nimma stopped one of them to ask what was wrong. The merchant merely pointed to the sky, then bolted.
Obtasp was a pathetic, miserable mutant. A humanoid with an oversized brain and a large head to support it, nearly see-through skin and emaciated, gangly limbs. She hovered in the air, without the aid of anything physical, and used it's power to hurl rocks at the merchants and guards. Obtasp must have studied magic before as well, as she was able to raise those she killed as mindless zombies, and also blow a short-range stream of fire.
Nimma ran to her as his companions distracted the zombies. He grabbed the wretch out of the air and brought her down to ground level, then started cutting through Obtasp's limbs. He couldn't feel any bones in the creature's body, and even the slightest wounds erupted into a geyser of light blue blood.
He eventually managed to split open Obtasp's head, tearing her brain, killing her instantly.
However, this distracted the pyromancer from the naga zombie approaching behind him. A lash of the supernaturally powerful corpse's tail completely mangled Nimma's foot, and his consciousness left him.
The last things he saw as he was regaining consciousness was the same tail heading straight for his head.
OOC: Well, that was certainly fun to write. Incase you're wondering, Badu survived and is now living in the same town...with the zombie merchants...and Rith died off-screen, killed by a naga zombie. I apologize if the writing isn't great, I never did anything like this before, and I'm also sorry for the lack of screenshots, I wasn't expecting the adventure to turn out the way it did and I was only sporadically taking screencaps.
Also for some hilarity, keep in mind that after the first centaur camp, for the entirety of the adventure up to his death, Nimma still had that damn silver axe stuck in his neck...
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Topic: The Life and Anti-Climactic Death of Nimma Splatterunited (Read 671 times)