JesterHell696: Balance doesn't have to mean all sides are equal, just correctly proportioned. Nobody was suggesting wrestling and armed combat should be balanced so that both are universally as useful. Reality isn't balanced as a competitive game might be, but it still makes sense to talk of balance. Often the balance is in favour of one thing or another and the OP thinks that in terms of the grab-lock transition the balance is too far in favour of the wrestler because it's unrealistically fast.
I will admit that this might just be an issue of semantics on my part because I see the term balance as an artificial mechanic to make all options equally valid which is something I oppose.
Also where OP says [ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2] doesn't mean much to me because I've only recently started messing around with raws and have only messed with creature castes and civ entity's so I'm not exactly sure what it means, I just focused on the part stood out to me which was.
properly balances wrestling versus other aspects of combat.
Which I felt this Implied the "artificial" balance I mentioned earlier which I think is where my problem is, it seems I may have jumped the gun and that's my bad so I apologize.
So going back though the OP's post he also states that joint lock are unrealistically fast so I decided to look up joint lock demonstrations on you tube.
Ninjutsu:
https://youtu.be/E08ea-AeUiQShaolin kung fu:
https://youtu.be/-59-hs0MpHIJoint Lock Flow:
https://youtu.be/TFTFyCPP_O0More Lock Flow:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpbACXB5nvIAll these moves look fast enough to me that you would only have one chance to get out and the game does give you two chances, the 1st is when they get a hold and the 2nd when they lock the joint, looking this over I don't think the issue is speed, further down I think the OP located the source of the problem.
Where we are now: if some one grabs you and you cannot break the grip because of size/strength, you need to assume next turn is joint lock (it may, it may not be, but this assumption is the most fatalistic and prepares you for that possible downward slide the combat will likely take). You have only two options: destroy the grabbing limb or make a kill shot. Of course, here you only have one swing and often the attack selection will be poor.
I think the issue is that there is no mechanic for getting out other then a size/strength check and that attacking someone who has a hold of you is no different then attacking them when their free standing, a possible solution is making it so that the fighter and other relevant CC skills add/enable "reversals" that currently don't exists in-game, slightly changing how it calculates attacking someone who has a hold of you and reducing bone [PAIN_RECEPTORS:50] would be a more realistic response then making locks slower.
That being said I don't know how fast [ATTACK_PREPARE_AND_RECOVER:2:2] is and if it is unrealistically fast then reworking is necessary to maintain the integrity of the simulation.
Hopefully this is more constructive.