It's not the suicide attack that got me about 9/11 or the way that hundreds of office workers went from checking their emails to suffocating to death in a few minutes. Those are horrifying, but like many news stories it all becomes abstract. Like the people all dying from medical malpractice, but that's an even worse case: it doesn't have a stark image like 9/11. I'm cynical like that because that's easy mode for tragedies.
But cynicism doesn't work for everything. What got me was the people in the World Trade Center who killed themselves. Many died by accident trying to climb away, but there must have been those who decided that they would throw themselves off the building.
2,000 were murdered on that day. But more then that are killed every other day. But among those people there were those who, consciously or unconsciously, ignored their will to survive. The most intrinsic part of a human being, the need to keep on living, was replaced with a choice: do you want to die in a fire or fall to your death?
That's what makes 9/11 what it is. Those people didn't know they'd kill themselves on that day; some of them might have not even considered it.
I can die any day, but what scares me is knowing I would decide to die.