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[Nunzillor]

"You shall see about that!  Government meat puppet host, bring out the cards!"

[NJW2000]

  "Betting starts with Mia. Ante is one chip. Start."

[Egan_BW]

"Who?"
Raise two chips.

[Nunzillor]

Zack felt at the cards and sniffed them.  "No!  No no no!"

Ante and fold

[FallacyofUrist]

"This is worse than Dragon Poker! I love it!"

Null watches. And waits for the opportunity to pelt Desmond with flesh chunks.

[NJW2000]

  "Janeway wins the first round! And the card she gets to keep is... the Five of Gangrene! And now we'll be introducing the hidden hands, so stay tuned for an exciting new feature, folks! Next round incoming..."

The foot of plastic surrounding Zack thickens almost imperceptibly.

[NJW2000]

Hidden Hands flash up on screens inside and outside the plastic cubes.

Painful Flash: one of each normal suit and one hidden suit
Little tigerlily: one Rose, and the remaining four cards are between 8 and 3 inclusive.
Global Flush: a Globe, one of three other suits
Forest fire: one Timber or Gust, all other cards are either queens, jacks or kings.

  "Now, there are a few less hidden suit cards than there would be later on in the match, but poker's a gambling game, and there's nothing to stop you going for one of them! Zack may start the bidding."

[Nunzillor]

Zack took a whiff.  The cards smelled like... cherries?

Ante, then bet 2.

[Egan_BW]

Raise 4.

[Nunzillor]

See that.

[Egan_BW]

Grumble about poker lingo.

Spoiler: Janeway the Destroyer, future DMR champ (click to show/hide)

Name: Janeway the Destroyer
Description: Imposing female gang leader
Reason for signing up/ desire: To create the greatest man-harem known to humankind
Greatest fear: being shot
Stats:
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 1
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 5
Luck: 0
Will: 1
Perception: 1

Points: 5

Shotgun 4/0

[Nunzillor]

Mumble an anti-gadoid prayer, then lick the cards.

[NJW2000]

See that.

  "For some of our more sheltered viewers," here the host appears to lick his lips, "would you mind explaining that, Zack?

[Nunzillor]

"I acknowledge the non-human's bet, and bet sufficiently to match its bet.  Hope you like knives, scaly scum!"
((Just looked it up; apparently it's a colloquialism.  My bad.  It means "call."))

[Egan_BW]

"I acknowledge the non-human's bet, and bet sufficiently to match its bet.  Hope you like knives, scaly scum!"

"I'm rather fond, actually. Why?"