Gah! Try harder! Obviously pull from my extensive knowledge and experience of fighting with beer bottles to get the fratbro off of me. If he's knocked out, steal everything he has. Yes, EVERYTHING.
"You're a good sport bro, have a beer!"
Give beer to man I just paddled. Shotgun third and final beer then hurl it at someone holding a ball.
"HEY BRO WITH THE BALL! JUGGLE FOR ME!"
The fratboy is whacked hard with a beer bottle concussing his least vital organ; the brain. After abjectly failing to process this, he hands a beer to the unfortunate paddlee and drinks another before hitting Navarro in the face with it. A mediocre throw.
trie and rip up a stadium seat
You make some progress, ripping some of the upholstery. You don't do very well.
EDIT:
Score a goal with the opponents' ball.
Name: Desmond Running
Description: A dapper man, dressed in a fashionable waistcoat. He's got some nice legs, I daresay.
Reason for signing up/ desire: He's running from his past.
Greatest fear: Boulders. Giant apes. Etcetera.
Stats: (20 points to allocate. 5 Points in a stat gives a 1/3 chance of +1. 10 gives 2/3, etc.)
Strength:0
Dexterity:0
Endurance: 10
Speed: 10
Intelligence:0
Luck:0
Will:0
Perception:0
You casually tip the ball into the hoop. At once, startlingly cyan fireworks arc over the crowd, exploding in time with a glorious Katzenklavier fanfare. Then rather a lot of complex operations take place in a short space of time. Pink smoke leaks out of tiny cracks in the arena floor, somehow calming the wasps, while a spray of stinging fluid is sent over the moths, making them shrivel up and die like autumn leaves.
Elongated robotic psudopodia extend from the walls, furiously digging out the burrower worms with flashing steel scalpels and bandaging over the holes, while jets of water course over the still-struggling Zack and Jan. The contestants are then led or dragged out, and a sliding metal platform covers the court, restoring the arena to the audience's height.
"Well, ladies and gentleman, wasn't that just a wonderful game there! Such sportsmanship! Such enthusiasm! Such perseverance in the face of adversity! And such teamwork! At the end of the day, that's what Dead Man Running is really about: bringing people together... by cutting them apart." Desmond's wristpad beeps.
And before we forget, there's a whole seven points for Desmond! Lucky him! And now it's time to choose the winner, second and third place, and of course the loser, who'll get the exciting chance to play in one of our thrilling punishment games! Who will it be, folks? If the audience can't deicide, I will for them, but I'm sure you all have an opinion! And don't forget to send those suggestions in, escpecially accompanied by your precious deadman dollars, and you could not only win a prize but also get your idea used and your name on TV!""BLOODY HELL."
Locate the source of footsteps, and RIP HIS THROAT OUT WITH MY TEETH.
Name: Janeway the Destroyer
Description: Imposing female gang leader
Reason for signing up/ desire: To create the greatest man-harem known to humankind
Greatest fear: being shot
Stats:
Strength: 10
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 1
Speed: 1
Intelligence: 5
Luck: 0
Will: 1
Perception: 1
You run towards the source of the footsteps, which get faster faster and closer and closer. As the deck begins to tilt, you see cold metal glinting through the murky blackness. You leap for the source, as the metal rises and flashes...
... an anxious medic is tilting your head and using a high-tech electronic multi-panelled implement to slap the sides of your face repeatedly. You are wearing a new jumpsuit, and have various bandages over your body. You come round, fully, just in time to hear that someone is going to have to face a punishment game.
Oh bollocks.
-----------------*-----------------
Do you want a manly, virile leader? Someone who will live to represent the interest of your children, and you children's children? Or do you want a mangy, elderly, artiforg-packed coot who'll spend his time in office chasing girls then forgetting what to do with them? Someone who uses brands that went out of fashion at least a month ago?
If the former, you young, strong attractive guy or gal you, then vote Yancy, the sweetheart of democratic peoples in every state and system! If the latter, then you'd better get yourself down to the compulsory pyschiatric hospital sharpish, as Yancy-voting is consensually compulsory for all right-minded partiotic citizens! And you sure are one of
those, aren't you?
Do the right thing, and donate now to the Yancy Campaign War Chest, or pay directly into the Opposition Assasination fund! Because nobody likes to see a challenger
win, do they?
Advertisment sponsored by the Democratic Freedom of Assasination Comittee.
-----------------*-----------------
"So whaddya say, ladies and gents? I think we know that Navarro is our winner today, but who comes second? And who really deserves to feel the heat? The useless Janeway? The defensive Jan? The cowardly Desmond? Vote now, just yell out who you think needs to take a beating!"
Author
Topic: Dead Man Running Season II - Five Card Drawn and Quartered (Read 64797 times)