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Author Topic: Dead Man Running Season II - Five Card Drawn and Quartered  (Read 64531 times)

Nunzillor

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #45 on: September 07, 2015, 01:45:08 pm »

"Ancient techno-Babylonian free masons won't boil the luminiferous aether out of my hollow world nodes, my fellow arachno-socialist polygamists."

Point at the man with the fabulous legs, then point at the goal.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2015, 01:54:20 pm by Nunzillor »
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Radio Controlled

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #46 on: September 07, 2015, 02:03:11 pm »

Take my usual spot, buy 3 beers for 1 DD, start sipping one.
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21:26   <XYZ>: I know nothing about this, but I have strong opinions about it.
Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

Shaporia

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #47 on: September 07, 2015, 02:08:25 pm »

See how much a nice, shiny revolver would cost.

renegadelobster

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #48 on: September 07, 2015, 02:26:36 pm »

Buy 3 beers, start drinking. Place a 2DD bet on blue team winning. Find out how much weapons and hazards for the arena would cost.
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DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #49 on: September 07, 2015, 03:42:21 pm »

Abstain from voting in favour of wobbling.

Spoiler: Fat 'Xan' Cordarino (click to show/hide)
Abstain from voting in favour of wobbling.

Spoiler: Fat 'Xan' Cordarino (click to show/hide)
Abstain from voting in favour of wobbling.

Spoiler: Fat 'Xan' Cordarino (click to show/hide)

Observe.

Dear god, but that's a girthful man. Banker, no doubt.

Desmond waves. "Good sir! You, with the fat rolls! Would you please put an end to that incessant jiggling?"
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Xantalos

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #50 on: September 07, 2015, 03:58:40 pm »

"I MUST ATTRACT THE FAVOR OF THE GODS! NAMELY MYSELF!"

Fat Xan keeps jiggling.
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #51 on: September 07, 2015, 04:10:35 pm »

"Have some decency, man! This is a family programme, not Uncle Farnsworth's Fantasmic Smut Booth!

...not that I'd know if there was an Uncle Farnsworth's... if there was such a programme. Hm, no sir. Not me."
« Last Edit: September 07, 2015, 04:12:55 pm by DoctorMcTaalik »
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NJW2000

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #52 on: September 07, 2015, 05:02:09 pm »

Place dead man bet of 1dd on fat xan
Collect some Deadman Dollars.
Put dead man bet of 1dd on Desmond Running.

3DD. I'm asking you guys to keep track of Deadman Dollars and audience items yourselves. Cheaters found out will have their knees broken and money removed, while snitches will get large rewards.

Buy 3 beers, start drinking. Place a 2DD bet on blue team winning. Find out how much weapons and hazards for the arena would cost.
Bets registered. Hazards... well, it depends on the idea, but gettin a good 'un in isn't likely to cost too much more than 15 DD. Are the weapons for the contestant vending machine, or for you? You start to inebriate yourself.

Take my usual spot, buy 3 beers for 1 DD, start sipping one.
Usual seat taken, inebriation commencing. All systems are go.

See how much a nice, shiny revolver would cost.
30 Deadman Dollars, the cheapest weapon you can fire at the contestants.

Observe.
Desmond waves. "Good sir! You, with the fat rolls! Would you please put an end to that incessant jiggling?"
2. He jiggles further, and begins to pray to himself. You feel even more seasick.


To cut a long story short, Jan's volunteering tops Xan's post-nomination jiggling. Zack Bridges fails to point at the goal, there being none in sight, instead making the sign of the cross over Desmond and muttering an anti-gadoid prayer, while Navarro's cowardly nomination of the vulnerable wins the day. Gosh, how are we ever going to get anyone to do the head-to-head challenge at this rate?

The contestants are hurried offstage by orderlies, while the host allows his cushion-balloon to sink gently to a few metres above the arena floor, which itself lowers suddenly to reveal a square hall with a polished wood floor and a hoop in each corner. One side of the hall is painted blue, the opposite red.

  "Welcome back viewers, and if those in the audience could just turn their attention to the central arena once more, it's time for our fabulous first game, the Team Challenge! Now we traditionally start off each season with a nice lighthearted ballgame, and tonight is no exception, so let me introduce you to the wonderful new sport of Hiveball!

  Doors slide open, and the contestants are led into the hall, force projectors of some kind immobilising them after they have reached their allocated positions. Each of the "goalkeepers" (Zack and Jan) carry a flamethrower-like object, though nobody else is armed. Each contestant is nearest to his or her team's side.

Spoiler: arrangement (click to show/hide)

  "So here's how this works, folks," the host explains delightedly, "each of the non-goalkeeping contestants will be thrown a "ball". It's quite important that they catch this ball, as if they drop it on the floor, at any point in the game, or let it be, you know, burnt to cinders, we run an arbitrarily large and random amount of electricity through their body! Instant disqualification, as is fainting, concussion, etc! But to score points? They just have to get their balls through the hoops in the corners opposite them! Don't try and put the ball through the wrong hoop, by the way. It won't turn out well."

  "12 points for the first goal, 7 for the second, 4 for the third and 2 for the fourth. You can keep any points you score with, and the team with the most points wins! The game ends when all four balls have been dropped or scored with, and disqualifying an entire team is an instant victory! So let's chuck the balls in now!


  The first two contestants to recieve balls are on the left. A grey ball the size of a football with thin, layered papery walls arcs towards Janeway, who catches it lightly and easily.

  "Swarmer wasps!"

  A fluffy white mass of a similar size with long dark shapes writhing inside flies towards Desmond's face, who just manages to get his hands into it, sinking his fingers in slightly but not enough to touch anything.

  Burrower worms!

  The next ball is launched in a parabola, due to land in between the two players on the right side of the arena in several seconds, Navarro and Xan, a loosely held together mound of shifting earth. Meanwhile the final ball, a silvery pill-shape twisted into a spiralling cone at one end, is tossed gently into the middle of the arena, high above the others. After half a second of freefall, the top cracks open into hundreds of dissolving, glimmery fragments that rain down onto the arena floor like a shower of quicksilver, while several dozen iridescent, pearly-winged giant moths gush out, partially arresting the downwards progress, as they strive upwards held back by tiny wires, connecting them to the ball.

Everyone can move now, except for the goalkeepers.
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Nunzillor

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #53 on: September 07, 2015, 05:08:28 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
If any of the red team gets near, flamethrower them.
« Last Edit: September 07, 2015, 07:06:46 pm by Nunzillor »
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Urist McCoder

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #54 on: September 07, 2015, 05:10:07 pm »

Buy a gun that shoots eyeballs, find out who I would need to talk to to buy the dead contestant's eyeballs.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 07, 2015, 06:39:56 pm by Urist McCoder »
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Egan_BW

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #55 on: September 07, 2015, 06:29:47 pm »

Sprint up to Desmond, hold the "ball" in one hand, and pummel him in the face! Then back out of flamethrower range!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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DoctorMcTaalik

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #56 on: September 07, 2015, 07:01:29 pm »

Run back towards our goal, being sure to not drop the "ball".
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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NAV

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #57 on: September 07, 2015, 07:04:23 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sprint to get the dirt ball! And sprint to just outside of flamethrower range and throw it into the red hoop!
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The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

Nunzillor

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #58 on: September 07, 2015, 07:08:02 pm »

((Accidental post!))
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renegadelobster

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Re: Dead Man Running: Season II
« Reply #59 on: September 07, 2015, 07:10:49 pm »

Weapons for me of course! I need some way to make sure I win my bet.
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