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Author Topic: How to write better  (Read 2739 times)

LordPyrrole

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How to write better
« on: September 05, 2015, 10:30:06 pm »

Ok, me and my friend last year during gym class all year discussed this awesome universe that we have for a book series. He is great at writing books with dialogue and really getting you interested in what the characters are saying and the political struggles that are happening in the world. Much like Star Trek is not based on the action but more the deliberation over the action.

I am bad at writing, period. I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it. I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

Everywhere I look I get no advice on how to actually work on it, I don't want a get-good-quick tip I want a way to work on it and notice the mistakes that I am making and what makes it sound like crap. Please help.
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piecewise

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2015, 11:17:01 pm »

Ok, me and my friend last year during gym class all year discussed this awesome universe that we have for a book series. He is great at writing books with dialogue and really getting you interested in what the characters are saying and the political struggles that are happening in the world. Much like Star Trek is not based on the action but more the deliberation over the action.

I am bad at writing, period. I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it. I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

Everywhere I look I get no advice on how to actually work on it, I don't want a get-good-quick tip I want a way to work on it and notice the mistakes that I am making and what makes it sound like crap. Please help.

Step 1: Find good books. Or at least books you like, since "Good" is a vastly subjective thing.
Step 2: Read them.
Step 3: After you read them, read them again, but this time, try to pinpoint what you like and why. Analyze it. Tear it apart.
Step 4: Try to incorporate the things that other authors do that you like into your own writing.
Step 5: Write. You can plan some before hand but trying to plan everything out before you write anything is a great way to never get anything started. Write until you have something.
Step 6: Get feed back. You are your own worst judge. You'll be unfairly harsh and yet, you'll overlook all your own blindspots. And don't ask friends, they'll say they like it because they like you.
Step 7: Rewrite. Rethink. Don't scrap it totally and start over. Tighten your focus. Why are you writing about this? Why is this interesting? What is the conflict? Does this story or section push the plot along?
Step 8: Continue writing and rewriting until you get something you think is good. Then edit it another time or two. Read it out loud. Think things out.
Step 9: Finish it, move on to the next thing.

In general, the best way to get better at writing is to both read and write a lot. Very few people can write well naturally. It takes practice, it takes time, it takes experience with the world and the subject matter.


Also, don't try to write a book. Write a short story. Write several set in the same universe.  Short stories are the sorts of things you can create in a week and then move on and make another.

An amateur writer starting with attempting to write their own book is like your average DIY'er trying to build a house. Build up your skills, practice. Once you can do smaller stuff, then try the big projects.

Oh and, don't take it too seriously. Self doubt is killer.

LordPyrrole

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2015, 11:22:07 pm »

We never tried to write a whole book, we sort of try and write chapters one at a time and just judge the chapters.
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piecewise

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2015, 11:58:38 pm »

We never tried to write a whole book, we sort of try and write chapters one at a time and just judge the chapters.
That's kind of an argument of semantics. Writing Chapters implies writing a book because chapters are the pieces of a book. Chapters implies pieces of a connected whole.

But doing it like that is probably not the best method of writing a book.  It's fine if you want to do a short story anthology set in the same universe, something where the events of each story are only sort of connected and each story is a stand alone whole, but a book needs to be a cohesive whole in which the individual chapters push the central plot along. You need to have an idea of what the whole book, the whole story, is gonna be before you can start writing it. If you just judge it by chapters individually than the whole is probably gonna feel disjointed and meandering, even if the individual chapters are good.

At least thats my experience from workshopping stuff like that.

Arx

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2015, 01:08:46 am »



This is all good stuff. For the feedback, swing past the Writer's Aprrenticeship, which is currently fairly active. We generally manage to avoid telling people their writing is better than it is, and most of the criticism is very solid.

I also don't think trying to write a book straight-off is a good idea, but if the idea of writing only stories just grinds your gears, write a book instead.

And seriously. Read a ton, write a ton, read a crap-ton, write the same amount. As someone who tutors schoolkids on writing essays, you can tell which ones read a lot.
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LordBucket

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2015, 04:17:49 am »


Ok, me and my friend last year during gym class all year discussed this awesome universe that we have for a book series.

1) Phrasing is altogether awkward. Word order suggests English is not your native language.
2) Incorrect use of "me." This is a case where "I" is the correct choice. The simple test is to remove the other party and see if the sentence still works. For example: "Me discussed this awesome universe" is obviously incorrect.
3) "Last year, all year" reads poorly.
4) Several words are redundant.
5) Questionable word choice: "universe". Technically correct, but reads poorly.
6) Mixed time tense: "Last year" "we have"
7) I'm not sure how to reconcile "all last year" with "during gym class"
8) Note that using "my friend" instead of "a friend" implies that you only have one friend. Your phrasing is acceptable common-use, but consider avoiding it.

Try:

"Over the past year a friend and I have been discussing an awesome idea we have for a book series."

Alternately, if you'd prefer to soften the introduction, as you attempted with "ok" try:

"So for the past year a friend and I have been discussing this awesome idea we have for a book series."


Quote
He is great at writing books with dialogue and really getting you interested in what the characters are saying and the political struggles that are happening in the world.

1) You appear to be stating that your friend writes books. Is that what you intended? Your friend writes books? Really?
2) "with dialogue" adds nothing to the sentence, and is redundant with "what the character are saying." Yes, books tend to have dialogue. You don't need to tell us that. Additionally, the mention of "what the characters are saying" makes it especially clear that yes, the material you're talking about does in fact have dialogue. You don't need to tell us twice.
3) Don't string together clauses with "and." You don't need to compact everything into a single sentence.


Try:

"He's a great writer. His dialogue is fantastic, his characters are interesting, and he has this way of really getting you interested in the political struggles going on in his stories."


Quote
Much like Star Trek is not based on the action but more the deliberation over the action.

1) "Much like" causes a rough transition from the previous sentence. You appear to be stating that the manner in which Star Trek focuses on deliberation rather than action resembles...something to do with dialogue and political struggles. It's unclear.
2) I'm not sure "deliberation" is really what you intended.
3) "on the action" and "over the action": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.
4) Why are you bringing Star Trek into this? Tell us what it's like. The external reference will fall flat on any reader who isn't familiar with the material. Actually, I'm not sure what this sentence adds to the paragraph at all. Your post isn't about Star Trek, and the previous sentence was generally stronger. Ending a weak note detracts from the overall message. I suggest either continuing what you were talking about, or striking this sentence completely

Quote
I am bad at writing, period.

1) Acceptable emphatic, but note that this is a significant speech style indicator. That's not a bad thing, but be aware of it.
2) Why are you avoiding contractions?


Quote
I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it.

1) "Crap" is a social class indicator. Generally best avoided unless you're deliberately using it to provide characterization.
2) Your time tense is consistent within the sentence, but is contextually mismatched within the paragraph. You're not actually speaking about something you're doing right now. You're talking about something that you've done in the past. Why are you using present tense?
3) "re-read it" "it reads": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.

Quote
I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

1) Run-on sentence. That should be at least two, and maybe three sentences.
2) You're not at all saying what you mean. The fact that you "both love the universe" is not the reason that you "don't know how to get better. You appear to be stating that it is.
3) "love the" and "love to": Stop repeating your word choices. You're doing it in every sentence.
4) Using "that" as a pronoun to refer to your friend implies that he's an inanimate object. Common error.

Suggest:

"We both love the universe and I'd like to contribute to it, but he's the only one of the two of us who can write. Unfortunately, I don't know how to improve."

Quote
Everywhere I look I get no advice on how to actually work on it, I don't want a get-good-quick tip I want a way to work on it and notice the mistakes that I am making and what makes it sound like crap.

1) Awkward phrasing: "Everywhere I look I get no"
2) Run-on sentence.  Don't string unrelated clauses together with commas.
3) Why are you avoiding contractions?
4) You're not saying what you mean. For example, you probably don't really want advice on "how to work on it." "Working on it" is not your goal. Improving is your goal.
5) Once again, you're repeating expressions within a sentence: "actually work on it" and "way to work on it"  Also "I am making" and "makes it". Stop repeating yourself.
6) "Crap" is a class indicator. Avoid it.
7) "mistakes that I am" --> "that" is unnecessary
8) I question whether what you're saying is actually what you mean. Are you really receiving no advice? Or are you receiving advice that isn't helpful? Those are different things. What exactly do you mean when you say you "want a way to notice mistakes"? I'm not sure what you're asking for. Do you want someone to point out mistakes? Are you saying you want to "be better at noticing" so that you can see the mistakes on your own without help? If it's a problem in ability to notice, then why are you deleting entire chapters? If you really didn't notice anything was wrong, why would you do that? I don't think this is an issue of noticing at all. Why are you saying that it is? You're not effectively communicating whatever it is you're attempting to communicate.

Quote
Please help.

From the above post, my impression is that you're lacking when it comes to basic grammar and sentence formulation. This isn't a stylistic issue. It's not presentation. It's not aesthetics. I suggest focusing on improving your basic writing skills. Emotionally evocative phrasing can come later. Build a strong foundation, then make it pretty later. If you focus on the pretty first, it will fall apart.

« Last Edit: September 06, 2015, 04:22:45 am by LordBucket »
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dwarfhoplite

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2015, 06:17:55 am »

His intention may be to write not in English but in his own language.
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piecewise

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2015, 09:50:22 am »


Ok, me and my friend last year during gym class all year discussed this awesome universe that we have for a book series.

1) Phrasing is altogether awkward. Word order suggests English is not your native language.
2) Incorrect use of "me." This is a case where "I" is the correct choice. The simple test is to remove the other party and see if the sentence still works. For example: "Me discussed this awesome universe" is obviously incorrect.
3) "Last year, all year" reads poorly.
4) Several words are redundant.
5) Questionable word choice: "universe". Technically correct, but reads poorly.
6) Mixed time tense: "Last year" "we have"
7) I'm not sure how to reconcile "all last year" with "during gym class"
8) Note that using "my friend" instead of "a friend" implies that you only have one friend. Your phrasing is acceptable common-use, but consider avoiding it.

Try:

"Over the past year a friend and I have been discussing an awesome idea we have for a book series."

Alternately, if you'd prefer to soften the introduction, as you attempted with "ok" try:

"So for the past year a friend and I have been discussing this awesome idea we have for a book series."


Quote
He is great at writing books with dialogue and really getting you interested in what the characters are saying and the political struggles that are happening in the world.

1) You appear to be stating that your friend writes books. Is that what you intended? Your friend writes books? Really?
2) "with dialogue" adds nothing to the sentence, and is redundant with "what the character are saying." Yes, books tend to have dialogue. You don't need to tell us that. Additionally, the mention of "what the characters are saying" makes it especially clear that yes, the material you're talking about does in fact have dialogue. You don't need to tell us twice.
3) Don't string together clauses with "and." You don't need to compact everything into a single sentence.


Try:

"He's a great writer. His dialogue is fantastic, his characters are interesting, and he has this way of really getting you interested in the political struggles going on in his stories."


Quote
Much like Star Trek is not based on the action but more the deliberation over the action.

1) "Much like" causes a rough transition from the previous sentence. You appear to be stating that the manner in which Star Trek focuses on deliberation rather than action resembles...something to do with dialogue and political struggles. It's unclear.
2) I'm not sure "deliberation" is really what you intended.
3) "on the action" and "over the action": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.
4) Why are you bringing Star Trek into this? Tell us what it's like. The external reference will fall flat on any reader who isn't familiar with the material. Actually, I'm not sure what this sentence adds to the paragraph at all. Your post isn't about Star Trek, and the previous sentence was generally stronger. Ending a weak note detracts from the overall message. I suggest either continuing what you were talking about, or striking this sentence completely

Quote
I am bad at writing, period.

1) Acceptable emphatic, but note that this is a significant speech style indicator. That's not a bad thing, but be aware of it.
2) Why are you avoiding contractions?


Quote
I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it.

1) "Crap" is a social class indicator. Generally best avoided unless you're deliberately using it to provide characterization.
2) Your time tense is consistent within the sentence, but is contextually mismatched within the paragraph. You're not actually speaking about something you're doing right now. You're talking about something that you've done in the past. Why are you using present tense?
3) "re-read it" "it reads": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.

Quote
I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

1) Run-on sentence. That should be at least two, and maybe three sentences.
2) You're not at all saying what you mean. The fact that you "both love the universe" is not the reason that you "don't know how to get better. You appear to be stating that it is.
3) "love the" and "love to": Stop repeating your word choices. You're doing it in every sentence.
4) Using "that" as a pronoun to refer to your friend implies that he's an inanimate object. Common error.

Suggest:

"We both love the universe and I'd like to contribute to it, but he's the only one of the two of us who can write. Unfortunately, I don't know how to improve."

Quote
Everywhere I look I get no advice on how to actually work on it, I don't want a get-good-quick tip I want a way to work on it and notice the mistakes that I am making and what makes it sound like crap.

1) Awkward phrasing: "Everywhere I look I get no"
2) Run-on sentence.  Don't string unrelated clauses together with commas.
3) Why are you avoiding contractions?
4) You're not saying what you mean. For example, you probably don't really want advice on "how to work on it." "Working on it" is not your goal. Improving is your goal.
5) Once again, you're repeating expressions within a sentence: "actually work on it" and "way to work on it"  Also "I am making" and "makes it". Stop repeating yourself.
6) "Crap" is a class indicator. Avoid it.
7) "mistakes that I am" --> "that" is unnecessary
8) I question whether what you're saying is actually what you mean. Are you really receiving no advice? Or are you receiving advice that isn't helpful? Those are different things. What exactly do you mean when you say you "want a way to notice mistakes"? I'm not sure what you're asking for. Do you want someone to point out mistakes? Are you saying you want to "be better at noticing" so that you can see the mistakes on your own without help? If it's a problem in ability to notice, then why are you deleting entire chapters? If you really didn't notice anything was wrong, why would you do that? I don't think this is an issue of noticing at all. Why are you saying that it is? You're not effectively communicating whatever it is you're attempting to communicate.

Quote
Please help.

From the above post, my impression is that you're lacking when it comes to basic grammar and sentence formulation. This isn't a stylistic issue. It's not presentation. It's not aesthetics. I suggest focusing on improving your basic writing skills. Emotionally evocative phrasing can come later. Build a strong foundation, then make it pretty later. If you focus on the pretty first, it will fall apart.
Ok, I didn't even skim this, but I saw this sentence:

"1) "Crap" is a social class indicator. Generally best avoided unless you're deliberately using it to provide characterization."


What? Are you saying that by using the word "Crap" someone will somehow give away their social standing within their society? Or that "crap" is used as a word to denote a particular social class? Because neither seems very accurate to me.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2015, 09:53:54 am by piecewise »
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NJW2000

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2015, 01:59:29 pm »

Erm: last bit: LordBucket:

It was a forum post. Some people edit them obsessively, some don't. He may have english as a second language as has been said, and if your problem is grammar, LordPyrole, you just need to look at the "monstrosity" you've written and edit it. Though I doubt that the latter much use.
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LordPyrrole

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2015, 02:44:42 pm »


Ok, me and my friend last year during gym class all year discussed this awesome universe that we have for a book series.

1) Phrasing is altogether awkward. Word order suggests English is not your native language.
2) Incorrect use of "me." This is a case where "I" is the correct choice. The simple test is to remove the other party and see if the sentence still works. For example: "Me discussed this awesome universe" is obviously incorrect.
3) "Last year, all year" reads poorly.
4) Several words are redundant.
5) Questionable word choice: "universe". Technically correct, but reads poorly.
6) Mixed time tense: "Last year" "we have"
7) I'm not sure how to reconcile "all last year" with "during gym class"
8) Note that using "my friend" instead of "a friend" implies that you only have one friend. Your phrasing is acceptable common-use, but consider avoiding it.

Try:

"Over the past year a friend and I have been discussing an awesome idea we have for a book series."

Alternately, if you'd prefer to soften the introduction, as you attempted with "ok" try:

"So for the past year a friend and I have been discussing this awesome idea we have for a book series."


Quote
He is great at writing books with dialogue and really getting you interested in what the characters are saying and the political struggles that are happening in the world.

1) You appear to be stating that your friend writes books. Is that what you intended? Your friend writes books? Really?
2) "with dialogue" adds nothing to the sentence, and is redundant with "what the character are saying." Yes, books tend to have dialogue. You don't need to tell us that. Additionally, the mention of "what the characters are saying" makes it especially clear that yes, the material you're talking about does in fact have dialogue. You don't need to tell us twice.
3) Don't string together clauses with "and." You don't need to compact everything into a single sentence.


Try:

"He's a great writer. His dialogue is fantastic, his characters are interesting, and he has this way of really getting you interested in the political struggles going on in his stories."


Quote
Much like Star Trek is not based on the action but more the deliberation over the action.

1) "Much like" causes a rough transition from the previous sentence. You appear to be stating that the manner in which Star Trek focuses on deliberation rather than action resembles...something to do with dialogue and political struggles. It's unclear.
2) I'm not sure "deliberation" is really what you intended.
3) "on the action" and "over the action": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.
4) Why are you bringing Star Trek into this? Tell us what it's like. The external reference will fall flat on any reader who isn't familiar with the material. Actually, I'm not sure what this sentence adds to the paragraph at all. Your post isn't about Star Trek, and the previous sentence was generally stronger. Ending a weak note detracts from the overall message. I suggest either continuing what you were talking about, or striking this sentence completely

Quote
I am bad at writing, period.

1) Acceptable emphatic, but note that this is a significant speech style indicator. That's not a bad thing, but be aware of it.
2) Why are you avoiding contractions?


Quote
I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it.

1) "Crap" is a social class indicator. Generally best avoided unless you're deliberately using it to provide characterization.
2) Your time tense is consistent within the sentence, but is contextually mismatched within the paragraph. You're not actually speaking about something you're doing right now. You're talking about something that you've done in the past. Why are you using present tense?
3) "re-read it" "it reads": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.

Quote
I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

1) Run-on sentence. That should be at least two, and maybe three sentences.
2) You're not at all saying what you mean. The fact that you "both love the universe" is not the reason that you "don't know how to get better. You appear to be stating that it is.
3) "love the" and "love to": Stop repeating your word choices. You're doing it in every sentence.
4) Using "that" as a pronoun to refer to your friend implies that he's an inanimate object. Common error.

Suggest:

"We both love the universe and I'd like to contribute to it, but he's the only one of the two of us who can write. Unfortunately, I don't know how to improve."

Quote
Everywhere I look I get no advice on how to actually work on it, I don't want a get-good-quick tip I want a way to work on it and notice the mistakes that I am making and what makes it sound like crap.

1) Awkward phrasing: "Everywhere I look I get no"
2) Run-on sentence.  Don't string unrelated clauses together with commas.
3) Why are you avoiding contractions?
4) You're not saying what you mean. For example, you probably don't really want advice on "how to work on it." "Working on it" is not your goal. Improving is your goal.
5) Once again, you're repeating expressions within a sentence: "actually work on it" and "way to work on it"  Also "I am making" and "makes it". Stop repeating yourself.
6) "Crap" is a class indicator. Avoid it.
7) "mistakes that I am" --> "that" is unnecessary
8) I question whether what you're saying is actually what you mean. Are you really receiving no advice? Or are you receiving advice that isn't helpful? Those are different things. What exactly do you mean when you say you "want a way to notice mistakes"? I'm not sure what you're asking for. Do you want someone to point out mistakes? Are you saying you want to "be better at noticing" so that you can see the mistakes on your own without help? If it's a problem in ability to notice, then why are you deleting entire chapters? If you really didn't notice anything was wrong, why would you do that? I don't think this is an issue of noticing at all. Why are you saying that it is? You're not effectively communicating whatever it is you're attempting to communicate.

Quote
Please help.

From the above post, my impression is that you're lacking when it comes to basic grammar and sentence formulation. This isn't a stylistic issue. It's not presentation. It's not aesthetics. I suggest focusing on improving your basic writing skills. Emotionally evocative phrasing can come later. Build a strong foundation, then make it pretty later. If you focus on the pretty first, it will fall apart.
 

Hahaha, "Not your first language." it is my first language but  I tend to look at forums as a sort of speaking platform where  I don't want to be grammatically correct all the time. In writing my grammar is not an issue because  I tend to revise the grammar especially, but  I write on forums like I would talk, horribly.  I live in Florida where everyone talks like a redneck and I am probably the third most technologically advanced person in this town. I just don't talk like I know English at all,
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nenjin

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2015, 06:58:32 pm »

Piecewise gives solid advice, if you need just a general "how do write" starter. Reading a lot, from various kinds of authors, is essential to learning different ways you can play with sentence structure to arrive at different styles, what "themes" are and how you construct scenes and dialog with them in mind. How you set scenes, how you relate information to the reader that's necessary to understand your story and enjoy it while doing so. You take a little bit from "Column A Author", mix it with a little "Column B Author." You synthesize your own style out of it, or learn to manipulate different styles to achieve different aims. (Would you write a sci-fi story in the same tone as you would a classic fantasy novel or a hard-boiled detective story? No. You'd borrow and use tropes, that play on themes, in your writing.) And you read a lot of different stuff. From classic fiction to modern, and even non-fiction. (Where being a good and entertaining writer is even MORE important.)

Also, if you're serious about writing, write seriously. As in, give a shit about grammar and punctuation and sentence structure and flow, "even on a forum post." Every chance you can write something, take it seriously, because it's a chance to practice. Learn to express exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Or let me put it this way. If you can write about *blah* topic on a random forum where no one knows you, and they feel compelled to read it just because of how well it's written, imagine what benefits your actual creative writing will get from that practice. Regardless of what you're writing, write like you mean it.
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LordBucket

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2015, 08:31:50 pm »

I tend to look at forums as a sort of speaking platform where  I don't want to be grammatically correct all the time.
In writing my grammar is not an issue because  I tend to revise the grammar especially, but  I write on forums like I would talk, horribly.

Sounds like an excuse to me.

From your original post:

Quote
I am bad at writing, period. I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it. I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

Now you're saying you do it on purpose? Sorry, dude. Make up your mind. If you want to write well, then practice writing well. I'm not saying you need to turn every post into an essay, but it's silly to come here complaining that you don't write well and saying you want to improve, and then turn around and defend writing horribly. If you "write like you talk, horrible" that tells me that you both write and speak horribly.

That's not what you want, right?

So stop doing it.

Challenge:

Write a paragraph of at least ten sentences in the third person past tense about Bob walking through a dog park. Don't "write horribly."

Urist Targaryen

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2015, 08:50:16 pm »

3) "Last year, all year" reads poorly.
4) Several words are redundant.
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2) "with dialogue" adds nothing to the sentence, and is redundant with "what the character are saying." Yes, books tend to have dialogue. You don't need to tell us that. Additionally, the mention of "what the characters are saying" makes it especially clear that yes, the material you're talking about does in fact have dialogue. You don't need to tell us twice.
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3) "on the action" and "over the action": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.
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3) "re-read it" "it reads": Avoid repeating word choice multiple times within the same sentence.
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3) "love the" and "love to": Stop repeating your word choices. You're doing it in every sentence.
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5) Once again, you're repeating expressions within a sentence: "actually work on it" and "way to work on it"  Also "I am making" and "makes it". Stop repeating yourself.
You used nearly as many words to convey a single piece of advice as he used to write the introductory post, which has at five separate ideas that I can pick out. And that piece of advice was to not be redundant/repetitive...
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LordPyrrole

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2015, 04:30:17 pm »

I tend to look at forums as a sort of speaking platform where  I don't want to be grammatically correct all the time.
In writing my grammar is not an issue because  I tend to revise the grammar especially, but  I write on forums like I would talk, horribly.

Sounds like an excuse to me.

From your original post:

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I am bad at writing, period. I write out a whole chapter then when I re-read it I realize that it reads like crap and I delete it. I don't know how to get better because we both love the universe that we have and would love to make books even if they are only to show to each other but he is the only one of us that can write.

Now you're saying you do it on purpose? Sorry, dude. Make up your mind. If you want to write well, then practice writing well. I'm not saying you need to turn every post into an essay, but it's silly to come here complaining that you don't write well and saying you want to improve, and then turn around and defend writing horribly. If you "write like you talk, horrible" that tells me that you both write and speak horribly.

That's not what you want, right?

So stop doing it.

Challenge:

Write a paragraph of at least ten sentences in the third person past tense about Bob walking through a dog park. Don't "write horribly."

Ok, I know I am bad at writing,  I admit that. I am bad at speaking, I admit that. But the forums to me is somewhere to converse with likeminded people and not have to worry about them judging you, If I spent all the time checking my grammar and making sure that I didn't sound like an idiot then the forums would get really boring for me. Sure, in writing a story you should be grammatically correct and all but in real life, I sound dumb, really really really dumb. So I feel like I should sound really really dumb here or it would just feel to fake and take the fun out of it. Checking my spelling is fine but my grammar sucks, I sound bad, I look bad, I am bad, so I  freely let that go on the forums because I don't think that a lot of people are going to immediately criticize my grammar.
Oh and by the way, thanks for the challenge, I'll try.
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Urist Targaryen

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Re: How to write better
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2015, 06:13:12 pm »

Going back to piecewise's advice, how much do you read? Reading a lot will help you develop a style for both speaking and writing that you can feel good about. Learning by being told what's good or bad can help, but you internalize information more easily by emulating others.
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