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[Tawa]

There, an adequate barricade. You should be safe for now.

[Tawa]

"I have you now, Alliance scum!!! Prepare to meet your not timely fate at the end of my laser weapon!"

[~Neri]

Consume.

[IronyOwl]

Yeah, okay.

[Salsacookies]

(Do you need an extra voice? I'd like to join.)

"No. You meet YOUR end!"
Activate Kung-Fu Powers

[Sl4cker]

Flying jump back-flip kick combo attack go!

[Tomasque]

Activate thread-bumping powers!

[StrawBarrel]

Flying jump back-flip kick combo attack go!

+1

[Tawa]

Spoiler: ACTION SEQUENCE (click to show/hide)

"You have my people you insidious enemy wrong! Now I'm going ... ... Destroy you to do this to them! Take this!"

"ow"

"He is... gone."

You now have destroyed the entire crew of the starship, leaving only you and the imprisoned wizard warriors. Your destruction of the colonel's life force has freed them, and they help you pilot the starship.

MEANWHILE...

LORD DREAD: "Bwa ha ha ha ha ... Vrlk took the spaceship! Everything is exactly as planned ... Soon, he is falling on our hands ... and the universe is for conquering, my comrades!"

(Do you need an extra voice? I'd like to join.)

(This is text-to-speech software, specifically chosen for speaking in a monotone and thick computer accent.)

[StrawBarrel]

Have Lord Dread and Wizard Warrior Vrlk simultaneously give parallel rousing speeches to their comrades.

[IronyOwl]

Well that was magnificent.

Lord Dread: Try to send one of your goons to enact the next phase of your master plan, only to have a different underling insist on going instead.
Valiant Hero: Direct your craft to an enslaved world in order to free it from the clutches of tyranny, unaware that a sinister agent is lying in wait...

[Tawa]

Unfortunately, you are unable to impose your will on the villain. Such is life.

You travel across wide expanses of spacetime to a remote slave planet that you know holds the secret to the Federation Force's evil lair. You land on a remote beach somewhere in an ocean.

"Hello, I am the old man who lives on this island on the planet. Who are you?"
Update notes:
Found a better text-to-speech program that can also simulate accents, since while the monotone screaming AnD tHe ToRgO SPEaK was funny it got old after a while.

And yes that is Nietzsche. I wanted a female lead but I couldn't think of any sufficient women for the purpose. Someday.

[My Name is Immaterial]

Ask him how to kill God.

[birdy51]

Tell the old man nothing. It is clear that he has nothing of value to tell us!

[Stirk]

He is asking us who we are. This is our chance to mess with him.

"I am you. FROM THE fUTURE!!11!"