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GO KEAS WOOUH!

28 (93.3%)

...They suck.

2 (6.7%)

Total Members Voted: 30

[QuQuasar]

Yar, progress be continuing fine.
       
The militia dwarves of Murderflood have worked out that, thanks to their masterwork armour, they can jump down from the construction works without hurting themselves. It be an efficient, and I be told fun, way to travel.
       

       
So far no injuries. I fear it be only a matter of time before an unarmoured dwarf decides to try it, but that be the nature of natural selection.
       
       
Yon' ugly beakless parrot has flown up to the second cavern layer and is attacking the lake-dwelling undead. I've closed the trap corridor so it can't get in.
       


       
I like this beastie: it's already taken care of a troll corpse and a couple of crundles, and it's deadly dust be falling harmlessly in the water. So long as it doesn't return after death, I be okay with us staying out the caverns while it cleans them up for us.
       
And if it does come back as an unholy abomination, we can drop the roof on it.
       

Imic was nearly torn apart by a foul monster.



Were it really necessary to punch it's brain out, Imic?


Construction be progressin'.



       
And I decided to be improvin the well.



Yar, that be the adamantine bucket Vucar made. No dwarf in Murderflood should ever be complainin' of substandard bathing equipment again. Maybe they'll actually start paying attention to hygiene now- heh, who am I kidding? It'll be covered in bodily fluids in a day or two.


A dwarf took strange and made "Tendermurders the Matched gill." The next dwarf to break a leg be gettin' a damn fine splint on it, I'll tell ye that much.




Yar, this lot.
         


       
I was planning to close the gates, but the militia've been looking twitchy. It's been a while since they killed anything. Arright, ye lot, fine. Go on. Have yer fun. Try not to make a mess when ye come back in.
       

       
The large trolls run forward, ahead of their smaller, better armed companions. Those members of the militia that made it outside in time form up and match their charge, cutting down the front-runners effortlessly. The animalistic trolls panic upon seeing their companions fall so easily, and it near-instantly becomes a rout.
       

       
A moment later, battle be joined. One of the trolls shows unexpected courage: rather than facing the shame of inevitable defeat at the blades of her enemies, she dives into the Dike, choosing instead to burn with honour. I salute her: with this act she shows more bravery than all of the cowards in Murderflood combined.
       

                       
The militia's momentum carries them through the goblin ranks. Blood, gore and body parts fly in all directions. Amid the chaos another troll catches alight, blanketing the area in smoke, while crossbow wielders from both races fire bolts into the melee seeming to be uncaring whether they hit friend or foe.
       
It be a vision of hell.
       

       
The smokle spreads, obscuring our vision. Silence falls, and the bolts stop. On the other side of the dike the crossbow goblins kept their weapons up, trying to make out the vague shapes moving about within the dark clouds, unsure what has become of their comrades. And then...
       

       
The militia burst out in a tight wedge formation, screaming like demons as they dodge and bat aside flying bolts with their shields. They reach the crossbow goblins in seconds, and the red mist rises again.
       
A moment later it be over. Not a single wound among the militia, and not a goblin or troll left ali- wait what?
       

       
She climbed out of the dike?
               
Holy crap. The militia can't catch the troll because she's on fire. She's has survived all of her comrades by weaponising burning to death.
       
The militia tries to compensate for their ineffectiveness with crossbows, which only serves to highlight their ineffectiveness.


       
The bolts. They do nothing.
       
       
In the end, it took two days for the fire to finally be goin' out, during which time nobody could do anything more than pepper her with ineffectual bolts. At the end, the militia didn't even get the satisfaction of the kill: Mato bled to death from her burns.
       
The dwarves refuse to be engravin' a slab for her. They think me mad, but I know what I saw. If they won't engrave it for me, I shall have an unmarked slab erected at the site of her death in memorial.
         
A troll with a dwarven heart. Who would have thought such things be possible in this world?

       
The actions of Mato only serve to highlight the importance of my masterpiece. If a troll can face inevitable defeat honourably, the dwarves of Murderflood have no excuse.

I won't let them die a cowards death, cowards though they may be. Nothing can be left to chance: too much is at stake. I must do everything I can to ensure this fortress, and everyone in it, burns.
       

My improvements to the pumpstack be taking a while...




The humans arrive while we be hauling corpses to the dike en-masse and substantially increasing it's percentage of goblin and troll meat.



Welcome to Murderflood, hope ye like roast goblin.

       
Another beastie? A ceratopsid this time? Well at least it not be having wings.
       


       
And there be more good news: it be trapped between the tree's! That be a good thing: the scouts tell me the beasts veins are pronounced, as if tempting a blade to sever them. No doubt that be deliberate: it's blood is probably contaminated by some foul poison. The last thing we need is those scurvy-infested sods in the militia covering themselves in that stuff and then tramping it around the fort, as is their wont.
       

Eri spoke to the duchess. Not much of interest.


     
Honestly, I think the diplomats just come here ta' pilfer our wine and get drunk.


The magma gathering pipes be active! It be working!




Of course, at the moment it comes online, the cistern be nearly full. Still, that be okay. I have... other reasons, fer wanting the sea-to-dike pumpstack ta' carry as much magma as possible.

Yar, my tale be shaping up ta' something magnificent. No dwarf of Murderflood will escape an honourable fate. I shall ensure it!

[Triaxx2]

Better fix it so the towers flood as well.

[TheFlame52]

Better fix it so the towers flood as well.

Maybe that's why everyone keeps building towers. They knew this would come.

Also, replace all the magma-safe doors in the fort with non-magma-safe ones.

[QuQuasar]

Better fix it so the towers flood as well.

Unfortunately, the towers are a pain to flood. We'd need a massive network of aqueducts to get them all, or perhaps a new southern pumpstack. Take a look:



(Just ignore the smoke coming off the dome, that's nobody important)

I could probably get magma flowing through Vuohiparta and Ducks places, plus that tower labeled 'Another tower' (it has a bunch of kids bedrooms at the bottom, so I'm assuming it's the kiddy tower?), but the magma will cut off everyone's escape routes quickly enough, so I'm more inclined to just focus on dumping as much of it into the walls as quickly as possible.

Also, a few thoughts/questions:

* The Devices will dump magma onto the level of the fortress above the dike. In the event that there are somehow any survivors and we attempt to rebuild or reclaim, it wouldn't be nice to have the game's
FPS permanently ruined by eternal magma flow. So I'm thinking I need to deconstruct the fortifications and replace them with walls, so the interior of the fort can fill up to a stable level. What do you think?

(Edit) Scratch that, I put holes in the dike didn't I? It's going to get out no matter what.

* We can get migrants again if we run DFHacks fix/dead-units (Removes uninteresting dead units from the unit list. Doesn't seem to give any noticeable performance gain, but migrants normally stop if the unit list grows to around 3000 units, and this script reduces it back). This means more dwarves, but more dwarves means less fps. Y/N?

[TheFlame52]

Yes! I would have run that during my turn but I didn't know the command. If we don't we're going to die a slow death.

[QuQuasar]

OOC: It is done. Begone, ye crundles!



Dammit, I knew this would happen. Triaxx be hurt.



Alright ye lot, no more jumping from the balconies, ye hear? It be dangerous, and if'n ye die from a stupid accident, how are ye going to burn?


Some of the portholes be linked up: enough to start piercing the dome.



It be perfectly safe so long as Tosid and Zaneg get out of there as quickly as possible. I've given them instructions to ensure...



... that exactly this doesn't be happenin'.



Yar, that could have gone better.

Still, the painful death of innocents be no reason to stop construction: if anything, it be a promising addition to me tale. The dome demands blood already, this be but a taste of what is to come. We'll try again in a moment.

OOC: I think I know what I did wrong: they tried to move diagonally out of the ditch. Next time, I'll make sure they move orthagonally.


Dammit, I told ye lot to stop jumping!



Zas was dead by the time we reached her, but we were in time to see Sazir match her stunt, with similar results.



Unlike Zas, with medical attention Sazir will live. For now, anyway.


Alright Shem, it be your turn. Don't ye be screwing this up.



[holds breath]



Yar! It worked! Ye be a lucky peasant, Shem.

Now all ye've got to do is do it again something like, 30 more times. Okay, I take back what I said about ye being a lucky peasant, Shem.


Oh, this... this not be good.



Zolak, our local flying deadly-dust spewin' beakless parrot forgotten beast, picked a fight with Cryptequals, the recursive corpse of Cryptequals, the undead corpse of a blind cave ogre. It went poorly for her.

Now she be dead, which wouldn't be so bad, except she died under the lake. I think we all know what that be meaning.

Yar, if'n we ever want to enter the 2nd caverns again, the beastie cannot be allowed to rise. Her corpse must be destroyed before that happens. We'll crush that armok damned ogre while we're there, too.



Let's just hope they don't move...


Yar, Zolak has risen.



Luckily, she hasn't moved. Neither has Cryptequals. Operation Squish still be a go.




"Why, hello there little cave fish. I am a terrible undead abomination, but do not fear, I shall not hurt you. Being a twisted creature animated by unholy magiks does not mean I am a bad person. Why, before my death, I helped those dwarves upstairs by clearing out the caverns."



"I am very fond of dwarves you see, little cave fish. I have never met one, but they are so small and fragile, how could they be anything but kind, gentle, loving crea-"

[CRAAAACCKKK-BOOOOMM]



Yar! Part 1 of operation squish be a success. Now fer part 2...


"Kill! Kill dwarves! Eat dwarves! Kill them all! Consume the flesh! Kiiiiilll-"

[KKKKKRAK-BOOOM]



Yahar! The caverns be ours again, minus a few crundle zombies that I be sure the militia can mop up.

[TheFlame52]

I'm glad you took a second turn. You're good at succession forts.

[QuQuasar]

I'm glad you took a second turn. You're good at succession forts.

Thanks! It's good to know I'm doing right.


OOC: Huh. I didn't know dwarves could name their artifacts after themselves. Shem, the 12 year old I've got carving fortifications into the dome and barely escaping with his life, shows up like this:



(The artifact is useless, by the way. A honey badger bone crown, with an image of an equally useless bracelet on it, and it must have been a possession as he didn't even get any skills out of it)


Yar! A pump operator on a Store Item in Stockpile job was interrupted by a monster.



It be an old story, practically a cliche. Everyone knows how it ends: the dwarf dies.

Of course,sometimes the trope be subverted...



... and the dwarf shows some mettle.



From the darkness on all sides, howls of unholy anger cry out. Bomrek is surrounded, and forced to fight for her life, desperately trying to hold out against the undead hordes until the militia can arrive.



Fortunately for her, Bomrek is well trained, and though the beasts pile on, she stands her ground. She will not die a cowards death this day.



The militia arrive to back her up, and the group be charging into the caverns to return the favor.

Spoiler: Haerdalas was the only named dwarf involved... (click to show/hide)

In the end, the only corpses left standing ("alive" be too strong a term) be the ones that wisely kept to the lakes.



Thanks to Zolak's actions (may she rest in pancake pieces peace), the training and equipment of the militia, and several tons of rock from the roof, there be only 9 undead left in the area: one in the lake on the surface, 4 in the first caverns lake, and 4 in the second caverns lake.


Meanwhile, Blitz Gamer punched a toad to death...



... and Urist McKiwi was attacked by a terrible beast.




But though the caverns be clear, the crundle bits left behind be harder to put down than something what be really hard to put down. The militia stay on guard, but they can't respond immediately to every threat, and one of them grabs the good doctor.



Physician, heal thyself! No? Yar, he be naught but a Surgeon anyway. Fine, who be the best at doctorin' in this fort apart from Sarvesh?



Huh. Really? It be... slightly worrying I didn't know that.

Wait, that can't be right. What about Risen? He be the chief medical dwarf.



A bone doctor? Ye be telling me we've been getting our fortress-wide diagnoses from a goddamn bone doctor? What's 'e gonna do, rub aloe vera on yer temples and then hack off both yer legs? No wonder so many of the dwarves in this fortress be amputees.

Yar, screw that. I be taking over and revoking Risens doctoring licence.




Yar, the vile mist once again jealously caresses me great dome.



An omen, it be. One day, perhaps soon, the mist will rise up from the lake ta' consume us all. But thanks to me' tireless actions, it shall not have it's foul way with the cowards of Murderflood. My great tale will draw to a close before that can happen. We will die by our own will, and not by the will o' evil that exists within the lake.


Autumn has arrived on the calender.

I be thinking.

The structure of the pumpstack and me devices be such that they would continue pumping magma to the surface indefinitely, for as long as the wind blows and the magma sea lasts. While it be true the tale of Murderflood dooming the entire world to slowly drown in magma would be a grand tale ta' tell ye children, it be a problem because nobody would be having children, on account of drowning in magma. I would be authoring the greatest dwarven tale ever, at the cost of killing everyone who might tell it.

It be a catch 22. How can ye live eternally in tales if'n ye end the world?

No, such idea's not be acceptable. The tale of Murderflood be one of awe-inspiring courage and determination, not one of tragic foolishness and apocalyptic consequences. We must endeavor to contain the magma within Murderflood itself. I have ordered the construction of walls around the outside of the dike. This task will likely take up the remainder of the year, but it be necessary before the lever can be pulled.




The portholes be progressing slowly but surely, though some still await bridges or linkage to the lever. Shem has done a good job staying alive, and a lot of them are now active.



The dwarven caravan arrives just as a rare rain begins to raise steam over the dike.



OOC: Rain doesn't actually have any effect on magma, but it coats objects with a water covering. If those objects are underwater, it will steam instantly, causing this phenomena.

The outpost shares his news. As usual, the world is the same as ever. Edzul, the mayor this year and every year (by popular vote), orders steel bars. We have little need for other things.


It occurs to me that, after the lever is pulled, there will be nothing left of Murderflood but an enormous sink of magma. We should at least grant the world some of our great works before we leave it. In addition to the usual totems and crafts, I order all our weapon and armour bins taken to the trade depot. We shall keep the very best for ourselves, of course, but anything less than exception can be sent out into the world.

Every dwarf of Murderflood springs into action. If only they were so eager the rest of the year.




Yet another one arrives in the third caverns.



At this point, I can't bring myself to care. It can stay in the caverns. If it makes trouble, we shall end it, as we always do.

...

Oh come on!



We be busy! Come again tomorrow!

OOC: Not only is this like the billionth fucking forgotten beast this year, it's one we've seen before! This is the same arsehole that incinerated Shipcat and his mother in the failed timeline.


Alright, well... fine. I suppose if ye be making yerself useful, ye be welcome to stay for a bit.



Thanks to the towering scaly flamethrower slug, there now be only 4 undead left in the area. The same number as forgotten beasts!




It be working!



Yar, fresh blood for the Murderdome! Blood that be hearing of the grand spires of Murderflood, that be hearing the tales of our courage. Blood that knows what the great dome represents: dwarven integrity. Dwarven honour. And fiery death, of course.

Our new dwarves be including an accomplished Carpenter (a skill we were sorely lacking), a novice Glassmaker, an accomplished Potter (and general craftsdwarf with skill in all the crafting labours), and three Traders. I guess they can be hauling or something, I don't care.

[TheFlame52]

More has happened in your two turns than in the last ten, mine included. Is raising the dike going to be the new building towers?

[Blitzgamer]

Ay, it be time to practice me wrestlin' oh look, a toad. c'mere beastie, I be needin' a sparrin partner!

[Vuohijumala]

What? We're getting migrants now!? Hooray! Now Murderflood can finally get a Murderqueen someday.

Also, that troll.. I've never seen anything climb out of magma alive either. It must have been quite a sight to look at for our bearded fellows..

What I've also never seen before is having dwarves name artifacts after themselves. In my other turn, I made a remark on an earlier made artifact had an image of a just made artifact in it, which was of course weird. I guess weird things happen in DF, just hoping it's not a symptom for something that would eventually cause a catastrophic meltdown for the save..

[Taupe]

If we send every child who made a useless artefact on a magma-diggin adventure like Shen, surely the quality of artefacts will increase over time.

''Mom, look, i made an artefact!
-It is... oh by Armok, Urist, you made a bone earring, oh no!
-Isn't... isn't it pretty, mommy?
-Oh, Urist, remember that mommy loved you always!''

[QuQuasar]

If we send every child who made a useless artefact on a magma-diggin adventure like Shen, surely the quality of artefacts will increase over time.

''Mom, look, i made an artefact!
-It is... oh by Armok, Urist, you made a bone earring, oh no!
-Isn't... isn't it pretty, mommy?
-Oh, Urist, remember that mommy loved you always!''

Hee. This comment is even funnier when you know that in the next update...
       

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

... Shipcat's 3 year old brother Zulban makes a wood ring.

More has happened in your two turns than in the last ten, mine included. Is raising the dike going to be the new building towers?

         
Actually, truth be told, almost all of what I've done these last two turns has relied on the work of previous overseers. The building materials were already there: I ended up using pretty much all of the silver, copper and rock blocks (I'm having to make new ones for the dike outer wall).
         
In addition, the Militia have been given plenty of time to train by the previous overseers, so I felt comfortable stopping their training to help with construction. They're still on call and plenty tough enough to take on the horror of zombie crundles.
       
And of course, the trap corridor was a former overseers doing as well. I really just made use of what was there.
       

[QuQuasar]

       
Yar!
       
Construction on the walls has hit a snag. The strange, monstrous skeleton that swims the lake has lain dormant for as long as I've been overseer, but now that we be working on it's side of the dike it be taking notice of us. More than a few workers be beating a hasty retreat after noticing it's skull watching them, or the movement of an bony hand or foot.
       

       
There be but one thing for it. We need to see what effect crossbow bolts be having on the skellybeastie. Marksdwarves! To arms!
       

       
"Dammit, can't hit it. It's moved in too close to the walls."
       
"What? Can't ye be leanin' over ta' shoot it?"
       
"Are you kidding me? No way."
       
"Aw, c'mon. Ye can do it! Aye believe in ye!"
       
"Look, if you want to stick your head out and be pulled over the wall and devoured, I'll give you my crossbow. But we are falling back."
       
"Argh! Cowards! The lot of ye!"


       
"Hey, commander. It's vanished."
       
"What?"
       

       
"Aw shit, it's in the pipes! Game over, man! GAME OVER!"
       
"Oh relax ye sod-sucker. The pipes be sealed. It can't get out."
       
"What about the wells? Have you checked."
       
"... it probably can't get out."
       
       
Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine. From experience, the undead don't move around much. We'll leave the beastie in the pipes fer now: at least 'e won't startle any workers down there.
       
In the meantime, I be taking me responsibilities as Chief Medical Dwarf seriously, unlike our previous chief. I did a full examination of the fortress' health. The results be... less than pretty.
       

       
Triaxx II, Blitz Gamer, Ablel, Pyrotechno, Imic, Rith and Sarvesh... it seems every dwarf who was injured and cleaned with water from the lake has contracted a nasty infection.

At first I feared a curse, that whatever foul magic causes the vile mist to rise from those waters also taints it and renders it unsafe. That would be a major problem, since we be drinking that stuff. Well, the others be. I be drinking from Gwolfsky's personal wells these days.
       
Regardless, I was relieved to find a more mundane explanation.
       

       
Muddy water. We've been drinking and cleaning with muddy water fer years. Seriously. Hygeine. Do any of ye fools know what that means?

I take some comfort in knowing that my great dome will one day wash Murderflood clean of the tiny, disgusting, illness-spreading creatures that live in the pools of filth spread across this fortress. And also the germs.
       
I be having an idea to clean the wells without risk of drowning or flooding the fort, so I'll be getting somebody on that straight a-
       
... what on earth be all that shouting?
       

       
       
Well... that was weird. By the time I arrived it all be over. I pieced matters together after the fact.
       
I be told the skeleton ambushed two passing workers, swimming out of the pipe and climbing the bank and wall in quick succession. Cresting the edge of the dike, it leapt at the nearest dwarf with an unholy howl, punching and biting. But when Sarvesh fought back, it tried to dodge away from his strike and...
       


OOC: The combat report says it bit and punched, but watching it happen made it look more like it just jumped straight over the wall into the dike. One second it was climbing the wall, next it was over the top and in the magma.
       
Being a skeleton it didn't catch alight, but being immersed in lava prevented it from moving. The three nearest dwarves exchanged glances and, perhaps remembering a certain troll, knelt down and started pummelling the creature's exposed bone to keep it from getting out.
       

       
Before long it's skull sank from view beneath the magma, where it no doubt melted.
       
       
Okay, back to me wells.
       

       
The plan be to carve out a section of roof and drop it through the well. It will crash into the level beneath the water, where we've dug out small holes for the water to flow into.
       

       
The mud will all sink to the lower level, allowing the well to skim clean water from the top. With luck, that will be all
that's- why be that toddler running towards me?
       
       
"Usurper! Usurper!"
       
"Ye mean "Overseer", little one. Here, aren't ye Zulban? Shipcats brother what took strange a few weeks ago? How old are ye?"
       
"I'm three and a half, Mr Overseer! Look what I made!
       

       
"Yar, it be a mighty fine ring ye've got there. Do ye know what we be calling artifact rings back in the mountainhome?"
       
"No, Mr Overseer."
       
"We call them useless! They don't do anything and ye can't even sell the damn things. And now ye've made an artifact, that be it fer ye! Ye'll never make anything better in yer short, miserable life than this useless trash, and when ye die horribly, probably soon, ye're last thoughts will be "By Armok, if only I'd made something better than a god! damn! ring!"
       
"Waaaah!" [runs away]
       
"Yar, I don't know, kids these days. Can't even take a little constructive criticism. What be the world comin' to?"
       
       
[KRAKK-BOOM]
       

       
Damn it, ye idiots were supposed to drop the roof through the well, not on it. Oh well, as least everything's still there. We can rebuild it, we have the technology.
       
Wait, Ablel's injured? That's weird, he didn't hit anything when... oh, that's right, Ablel was already injured previously. Nevermind then.

It looks like it worked. The water still be evil, but at least now it be clean.
       
OOC: I do not recommend this method, it was just something I wanted to try to see if it worked. The only reason it did is because I got lucky and none of the well's components were knocked into the well itself.
         
       
[KKKKRRR-BOOOOM]
       

       
Again with dropping the roof on the well? Ye lot be doing this on purpose, aren't ye?
       
       
The walls be progressing nicely. We've built a bridge in the back to speed their construction.
         

       
I be a little nervous about compromising our defenses like that, but with so many of our number working beyond the dike our defenses already be compromised. In the event of an attack, we must hope there be enough militiamen working on the walls at the time to hold it off until help arrives. Haste and dwarven mettle be a better defense right now than the dike.
       
       
I asked Imic if the war training he had famously applied to Kea's would also be applicable to falcons. He said he couldn't promise anything, but would give it a shot.




Yar, what be that thumping noise? It be driving me crazy.
       

       
Oh, ye want to come in, do ye beastie? Look, I be grateful to ye for cleaning out the upper caverns, but if'n ye keep making that noise I'm gonna- ah screw it.
       

         
Alright ye lot. Remember what this big guy did to those cave crocodiles. Be fast and kill it before it can flame, ye hear?
       
Ready? Unlock the door!
       

       
[POP] "YAAAARRR!"
       

       
The slug breathed fire once, but Triaxx II dove to the side, his infection not slowing him down one bit. The beastie didn't get a chance to breathe again: admist the melee of stabbing, screaming dwarves, a flying kick from Solon damaged something internal, and it shuddered and collapsed.
         
Goodbye Baru, we hardly knew ye.

       
Hmm... idea. If we know where the beastie stands to knock on the door, why not be installing some extendy spike traps? Yar, I be brilliant! We should probably do the same thing on the lower level, too.
         
Hey, Flame III! Go and make us some menacing steel spikes. How many? I don't care. Just keep making them until I tell ye to stop, got it?
       
       
One of the new migrants brought me breakfast.
       

       
Not that I'm complaining or anything, but it not be necessary. Ye don't have to appease me just because I be a power-mad usurper with a death wish for the entire fort. I be a dwarf, just like ye. The only difference between us is that I be having ultimate authority and am wielding it like a tyrannical dictator to get what I want.
       
OOC: This is so weird. My dwarf is not injured and he's not caged, so why are people bringing him food? I've never seen this before.
       
       
Smomper (Pffff-hahaha! What idiot named this Beastie "smomper"?) be hunting crundles in the third caverns. The crundles, for their part, have all climbed a tree.



All except for one, who got trapped in a crevice. This be an excellent chance to gauge the creature's combat prowess. To be honest, I'm not too worried about it: it be made of salt, afterall. The crundles could probably beat it if they actually fought back. I mean jeez, what's the worst a blob of salt could do? Heh, I suppose it might sting if ye had any open wou-



... oh. Rapid shutdown of all organs in the body, huh? Welp, I guess we're not going into the 3rd caverns fer a while.


The walls be nearing completion.
       

       
Only a few more blocks to place, and I can consider the world safe from Murderflood's End.
       
They not be the only construction coming to a long awaited conclusion.
         

       
Most of the portholes are active: only a few still await linkage. In theory, the portholes should provide an outflow roughly equivilent to that of the Moonscythe.
       
There be another construction that also be coming to a conclusion: the Magma Spigot Pressure Nozzle.
       

       
Vuohiparta noted somewhat nervously that it outputs directly over his tower. I encouraged him to relax, and assured him the outflow is perfectly safe until the Murderflood lever is pulled, at which point it will spray his tower with pressurised magma.
         
I felt sure he would be relieved to learn he will burn with honour alongside the rest of us, but for some reason, this didn't seem to relax him. In fact oddly enough he seemed even less relaxed when we replaced the obsidian hatch cover on the top of his tower with floor bars to allow better access for the magma flood.
       
Could Vuohiparta be one of the traitors? It be getting harder and harder to pick them. Can any dwarf in Murderflood be trusted to ensure my grand tale goes according to plan?
         
I can't afford to make a mistake. I can't afford to be giving the power of overseership to a coward. Any one of they could be undoing all me great work, in the name of spineless self-preservation! My great tale would never come to be!
         
But... dammit... I can't hold onto power forever! The dwarves will revolt eventually, it only be a matter of time! That be how the story goes. Already it be happening, already I hear whispers of discontent when I pass them in the halls. They call me usurper. They call me mad! Me! Mad! I be the only sane one here!
       
Nay. There... there be only one thing for it, be there not? Only one solution.
         
I will step down at the end of the year. I will let them name whatever cowardly fool they think should be their next overseer. And then...
       
Yar.
       
       

[QuQuasar]

OOC:

1. There are some large underground areas, apparently the result of massive mining operations that would significantly increase the amount of time it would take to fill the entire fortress with magma. I can block these with magma-proof doors, or leave them open: it really depends on how thorough we want to be and how long we’re willing to wait for the entire place to flood and our FPS to come back.

Inversely, the water reactor rooms are blocked by obsidian doors and will never flood. Should I deconstruct these?

2. Smomper is at the door to cavern 3 and I have no way to kill it. Any dwarf sent out there will almost certainly die (there is a chance of survival: we know the vapors kill crundles, but we don’t yet know if they’re enough to kill a dwarf. They probably are though), but it’s made of salt so I think they should be able to take the beast out before they collapse.

Here are the effects of the vapors, as observed in crundles: numbness rapidly followed by unconsciousness. Shortly after losing consiousness, all body parts are highlighted in yellow on the wounds page. No blood or description of these wounds appears, so I assume it's paralysis. They remain in this state until death, presumably by suffocation, which doesn't take very long.

Do I have any volunteers?