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[thegamemaster1234]

Hmm? A battle of impressing mortals, is it? May I inform you, then, that battle between Ao and belly-dancer's champions was actually a Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament. Ao's chose Meta Knight, the cheater he is, while belly-dancer's chose Jigglypuff because "she looks cute". I also participated as Olimar, disguised as my own champion.

Ao's dealt the last blow to the belly-dancer's champion, but it was I who came out on top!

[Radio Controlled]

while belly-dancer's chose Jigglypuff because "she looks cute".

((Yep, sounds like something she would do.))

[piecewise]

Crazy purple god tosses his present to Toaster's character.

As long as it wasn't opened before hand, consider it done.

" Yah, who are you? I'm sorry but right now I'm just following the beat of my drum" Bob winks into the air in the general direction of the god of the beat...you know the one with tge fabulous voice

"Hey now, don't forget you swore your allegiance to me darling. Make it official and you will recieve your blessings!"

"I know, I was refering to you! I've always been with you."

But you promised your soul to Ao too. Make it clear, mortal, who you do follow.

"Yes, choose. Do you want the vibrant one, or the silent one?

If it helps, all of my followers up till now danced their way to victory in their first match."

"ooh, I like the sound of the first one."

"It is settled then!"
Give this person a blessing and my mystery gift item for pledging himself to me.

You give him your unopened gift and [3] A large booty. It giggles pleasingly.

HEAR ME MORTALS. You are now in a zone which is one (mis)step away from being made entirely out of glowing hazard. There is one, and only one god whom can save your sorry asses and terrible hairdos, and that is I Heftar! Bow to me if you wish to survive.

"I do swear obedience to you oh mighty sky voice of the nuclear apocalypse! Please grant this one your blessing so they may destroy those that stand in your way and mine!"

Bless this fleshling.

[2] you bless him with full body burn scars. Nothing that causes him trouble; he just looks really terrible.

"Hey, Ao? I would be more than happy to pledge myself to you. Especially since your last champion won the previous round"l."

Commendable choice, mortal. Here, have Ao's blessings.

Blessings on Ren, shower him in blessings. Also give my mystery box to him.

Assuming it's unopened, consider the gift his. [6] Ren gains the ability to turn invisible. Ren OP already, plz nerf.

For pw's eyes only, but who am I to stop you, I'm not the internet police...go ahead

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Use pill power to slice at the nearest person in the throat before sprinting away

Well there are two people equadistant from you so...we'll go for the one on the right, NJW.

Spoiler: conservation (click to show/hide)

To anyone who attacks me or comes near me: use a sperm whale. Bigger than blue one, you see. Unless they're 20 feet or less away, in which case blue whale.

If nobody attacks me immediately, use a sperm whale at the next-but-one person along.

After that, if I have time, pledge meself to L'opportuniste

"Good luck, my fellows, and just a heads up here, you'll have a flaming hard time bettering me! In fact, though I say it myself, you're pretty stuffed!"

4v5
Spaz turns and runs towards NJW, turning his arm into a blade as he does so. NJW sees him coming, cocks an eyebrow, and then materializes a taxidermied Sperm whale head and fires it at Spaz. [3] Spaz takes the whale head full force on his left side [4] And is thrown hard to the side and onto the ground, but isn't badly injured.

Spoiler: Whee! (click to show/hide)

The two people closest to me, have their clothing crawl down their throats and strangle them. Wait, no. Better idea. Take control of as many people's clothes as possible. Puppet them about and have them fight whoever I couldn't control, or, each other if I can control all of them. Be sure to move behind some cover and not stand around like an idiot. Oh, and pledge myself to Ao. That won't end badly. Be sure to open and use Ao's mystery box.

[2]
PPPPPRT
Nothing.

"Bawk!" *Concerned sounding warbling*

Spoiler: Don't look here if you isn't PW (click to show/hide)

Begin spewing lasers everywhere like a demented feathery discoball.
Pledge to The Hammerer.

[2] Hammerer gives you a squeaky toy hammer.
[2] You cough a few times.

"Good Luck, Yall"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If anyone approaches/attackes me, Summon a Black Selfie Stick in their head/Neck.

If no one approaches/attackes me, I Summon a pair of BLACK HOUNDSTOOTH LINED COMBAT BOOTs and throw them at someone.

[4]
You summon a single combat boot and immediately hurl it at...EGAN!
[4 vs 1][4]
The boot hits egan in the shoulder. He looks at you and shakes his head in disappointment.

Spoiler: Obvious action incoming (click to show/hide)

Summon some toasters to defend me.  Obviously they can shoot out flaming toast.

Also follow FallacyofUrist's god!

[2]
Big fat nothing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Run from anyone who comes near me but not into anyone else avoid the centre if possible, if an easy kill presents itself then take it otherwise continue running until someone dies then use bat.

You run into the center of the room, atop the metal thing.

Spoiler: PW only! (click to show/hide)

Kier would attempt to portal to the top of the crane.

[6]
You portal your way right up onto the tippy top point of the crane on the thinnest most dangerous part! YAY!






A strange cackling laugh and circus music comes over the PA system, along with the sound of fevered typing. A few moments later, a klaxon starts blaring and flashing red emergency lights start flashing.

[NJW2000]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Continue throwing sperm whale heads at spazyak's guy and anyone else who attacks me. Mix a few angler fish in there too for good measure, why not.

"Pugilism, eh? Moronic practice, really."

"Oh, l'Oppurtuniste, oh great one? You have a new acolyte, a blessing would be much appreciated!"

[Toaster]

Spoiler: Let's try this. (click to show/hide)

Summon some toasters to defend me.  Obviously they can shoot out flaming toast.

Open that present!

FallacyofUrist's god- did I follow him or not?

[Empiricist]

"Oh, l'Oppurtuniste, oh great one? You have a new acolyte, a blessing would be much appreciated!"

Bless the squishy mortal.

[Corsair]

"Protect me my lord of nuclear burns and brilliance!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

avoid danger by running away from it quickly if that doesn't work use bat to try and beat them away before continuing running

[crazyabe]

"I WANT MY KFC YOU MOTHER CLUCKER, SO COME GET KILLED FOR DINNER!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Summon THIS and throw it at the nearest person's face, if it is unavailable at the end of the turn for some reason, THIS is what it was.

[spazyak]

open the present and carve my way into the whale, this shall be my home now. Staby stab anyone who tries to take my home or my life from me

[AoshimaMichio]

Yes, my box was unopened.

See? Ao's blessings are great. Hide yourself and win.

[Egan_BW]

"Hammeh!"

Spoiler: spoiler you're gonna die (click to show/hide)

Hop up to crazyabe and run around his ankles while point-blank lasering him.

[NJW2000]

"My thanks, your twistedness!"

[renegadelobster]

"...heh."

Spoiler: Take two (click to show/hide)

Get away from the metal cover, get behind something if possible. Whoever is closest, have their clothes crawl down their throat and strangle them. Open Ao's gift.

[Hiddenleafguy]

"Spaz, I've got your back!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Put a portal on the ceiling, NOT over the other portal, and a portal below NJW.

[piecewise]

Yes, my box was unopened.

See? Ao's blessings are great. Hide yourself and win.

Then it is done.

"Hammeh!"

Spoiler: spoiler you're gonna die (click to show/hide)

Hop up to crazyabe and run around his ankles while point-blank lasering him.

[3]
You run over to Crazyabe and proceed to shine a laser of about "energetic flashlight" levels of power in his face. He is very much mildly bothered.

"I WANT MY KFC YOU MOTHER CLUCKER, SO COME GET KILLED FOR DINNER!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Summon THIS and throw it at the nearest person's face, if it is unavailable at the end of the turn for some reason, THIS is what it was.

Took me a while to find scale on this thing.
http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/bKQAAOxy0x1TVdT7/s-l300.jpg

[6] You summon an oversized skull bottle and proceed to spike it directly into Egan, who happens to be the thing nearest to you.
[2] Unfortunately he belches light into your eyes just as you throw it and end up doing nothing but shattering a tacky bottle on the concrete. It now smells like low price perfume around you.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Continue throwing sperm whale heads at spazyak's guy and anyone else who attacks me. Mix a few angler fish in there too for good measure, why not.

"Pugilism, eh? Moronic practice, really."

"Oh, l'Oppurtuniste, oh great one? You have a new acolyte, a blessing would be much appreciated!"

open the present and carve my way into the whale, this shall be my home now. Staby stab anyone who tries to take my home or my life from me

Spaz's present is a small plastic model of a moose skeleton.
6v2, 6
NJW sprays preserved whale heads all over the damn place, quickly starting to fill a large portion of the room. Spaz attempts to dig into one and hide, but every time he goes to do so, another head bounces his target away. He stands there, glaring angrily at NJW while whale heads whiz past him at high speed, missing by mere inches.

"...heh."

Spoiler: Take two (click to show/hide)

Get away from the metal cover, get behind something if possible. Whoever is closest, have their clothes crawl down their throat and strangle them. Open Ao's gift.

Ao's gift is...a tin of iridescent putty. Huh.
You run over and hide behind one of the many severed whale heads.
[1]
Your own shirt begins to constrict and strangle you.

"Spaz, I've got your back!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Put a portal on the ceiling, NOT over the other portal, and a portal below NJW.

You can only have one entrance portal and one exit portal at a time. Keep that in mind.

[3]
You place the portals but you miss putting one under NJW by at least 20 feet.

Spoiler: Let's try this. (click to show/hide)

Summon some toasters to defend me.  Obviously they can shoot out flaming toast.

Open that present!

FallacyofUrist's god- did I follow him or not?
 

(He gave you his present, but he never said to accept/bless you. We'll assume he does...
Actually with the roll I got for it, lets assume he doesn't until he says so.


You get a box of candy canes as your present.
[5] You summon a small herd of sentient, living toasters that can propel their load of flaming toast at anyone who displeases you.

"Protect me my lord of nuclear burns and brilliance!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

avoid danger by running away from it quickly if that doesn't work use bat to try and beat them away before continuing running

You continue to avoid trouble.