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Who's the coolest member of the band, also, link to the character profiles!

Phil!
- 0 (0%)
Horatio!
- 0 (0%)
Barry!
- 0 (0%)
Ash!
- 1 (50%)
Link!
- 1 (50%)

Total Members Voted: 1


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Author Topic: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)  (Read 5088 times)

Fniff

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The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« on: August 14, 2015, 03:04:26 pm »

Evening there, this is DJ Fniff on Nightdrive FM. I hope all you insomniacs enjoy this broadcast.
The time is 11:59, wait, I mean midnight. We're going to be doing something very special tonight.
I am going to be playing an entire album: The Ballad of {A Band}, from Urist and the Monsterhearts. Modified for the radio, of course.
As you know, this requires input from the listener. Please, remember to be polite or else management will get annoyed. Don't worry, I have my faith in you.
Without further ado, here's the first track: 'How it Starts'. Please enjoy.


There was these cats called who knew, you decide.
They sat in their garage, looking blue. Someone asked, 'After school, what will you do?'
They all shrugged and said they'd figure it out another time. They lied.
Economy went bad. No jobs came by. They couldn't pull through.

Weeks pass, months maybe, and they sat.
Staying at home, doing squat.
They felt like vermin, a rat.
Feeling like they lost the plot.

Each looked in the abyss and said,
'What are you looking at?'
It didn't reply, and they wanted to drop dead.
Then, a muse hit them with a baseball bat.

I know what we'll do, let's form a band!

'We like music, we like CDs,' they thought.
'We play guitar, it's all good,' inspiration.
Their worries were now a gordian knot.
It would be something to delay the cremation.

This would be easy, if only not for the fact,
These cats was monsters, reasons to fear the night.
None knew, 'cept in the abstract.
Cos of this, it wouldn't turn out alright.

But right now, bands need names,
And good ones too.
despite all contrary claims,
All you need is a break through.

But enough of jabbers,
A little less talking, a little more action.
What did they call this band of cadavers?
Let's start a chain reaction.

Alright listeners, it would be truly excellent if you chimed in. I see lines 1 and 2 have already lit up. *click* Hello, you're on the air.

Spoiler: How This'll Play Out (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 16, 2015, 02:25:15 pm by Fniff »
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Hiddenleafguy

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2015, 03:11:33 pm »

((This seems interesting, I may post something meaningful. Maybe.))
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Fniff

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2015, 01:24:10 pm »

Oh, I apologize for that, listeners. Technical error, happens all the time. Now, let's get back to the calls. To quote a psychologist, I'm listening.

Digital Hellhound

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2015, 01:44:04 pm »

Quite simply, the Cadaver Queens. When they came up with that, they had no idea what fate had in store for them...
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2015, 01:57:45 pm »

Dingus, an attempt to reach and bravely explore the hypothetical upper limit of shittiness that could potentially be achieved by a jam band.

Alternatively, Radio Zimbabwe, a blending of folk, performance art and relentless substance abuse, focused around an underlying theme of cheapness as it is found in the modern world.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 02:01:49 pm by Harry Baldman »
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Salsacookies

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2015, 02:01:01 pm »

Dingus, an attempt to reach and bravely explore the hypothetical upper limit of shittiness that could potentially be achieved by a jam band.
+1
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kilakan

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2015, 02:04:28 pm »

Dingus, an attempt to reach and bravely explore the hypothetical upper limit of shittiness that could potentially be achieved by a jam band.
+1
+1 aye, and ambitions to overthrow Limp Bizkit as the most worldly renowned shittiest professional band to actually still make tons of money.
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Fniff

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2015, 02:58:36 pm »

Wow, we got a lot of folks calling in! Well, four, but that's pretty good for the midnight hour. Now, I'm rejiggering the album now... Yes, it is now prepared. All your suggestions have been accounted for. The next track is now called "Gatling Gun". This is actually a character theme that will reoccur in the album. Remember, the dialog here is kinda undefined since we haven't really gone into their profiles yet. It may change. Enjoy!
"I don't get what's wrong with Cadaver Queens."
"It's too Queens of the Stone Age. We need a real cause. We need to take Damien Hirst and Burt Jansch and mash it up, make something that's actually not just a ripoff of everything, kay? That's what Radio Zimbabwe is all about."
"I dunno, we don't really have anything good right now. What we need is--"
"Guys, guys! I know! I know..."
Our lives are a big old crap,
And society hates us all.
99.9% bands don't get squat, just take a dirt nap.
What we need is... ROLL CALL!

Miley Cyrus, so bad,
Lorde, Kate Bush in a petri dish
Limp Bizkit, real sad,
Everyone else? Stinks like a fish.

But what do these people all got together?
Lotta cash and no skill!
The true music fans are fair weather,
And good bands can only go downhill.

Screw talent, we don't need none!
We get so bad, we'll be great!
We'll shoot out shit like a gatling gun,
We'll make so much money, from the hate.

We will be the new order,
We will be number one,
All we need is a shitty recorder.
Trust me fellas, this'll be fun.

What's our name? Dingus.
We're no talent, we're no Charles Mingus,
We'll be the rot of pop music, the fungus,
And we sure as fuck aren't HETEROGENEOUS!

...

"Rad. We are so gonna kick ass.
"Uh. How about Queen Dingus?"
"Maybe? I dunno. It's an idea."
"This is going to be the death of me."

Alright, that was 'Gatling Gun'. Notice how it sounds really bad in very professional way, because this character is dedicated to making a terrible band.
Up next, we need to do some fiddling. One of the unusual parts of this album is that it causes synesthesia. You will notice that the character who sung that sounded purple. Well, they are. You also may have noticed that you could not tell if they were female, male, or other. You can see why this album is unusual.
Next, we have to choose a Skin for the purple character. I'll just play a prerecorded message on what exactly that means.

Spoiler: How Skins & Stats Work (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: 3 Random Skins (click to show/hide)
Alright, so request your favorite Skin for the purple dude, who just sung 'Gatling Gun', and we'll see what gets the most votes.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 03:03:33 pm by Fniff »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2015, 03:43:43 pm »

Ain't no purple warbler in the world quite like The Ghost. 'Cause if any band member's going to be a ghost, it sure is going to be the one that doesn't need to touch any equipment.

Funny thing is, he's actually a bass player, and intensely bitter about not being able to play bass anymore, and also about not being able to remove the shitty beanie and thrift shop winter clothes he died in. His name's Phil.
« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 03:46:12 pm by Harry Baldman »
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kilakan

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2015, 03:56:04 pm »

Ain't no purple warbler in the world quite like The Ghost. 'Cause if any band member's going to be a ghost, it sure is going to be the one that doesn't need to touch any equipment.

Funny thing is, he's actually a bass player, and intensely bitter about not being able to play bass anymore, and also about not being able to remove the shitty beanie and thrift shop winter clothes he died in. His name's Phil.
+1 Upset ghost in hipster clothes is definitely the singer.  He positively radiates the 'I really don't care if this sounds good, just buy it' attitude.
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Hiddenleafguy

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2015, 04:03:58 pm »

Some people say that Horatio made a deal with the devil to get his guitar, maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but I know that his golden plated guitar is always in tune, and it sounds amazing, Horatio on the other hand sounds like a dying cat, but for some reason I can't stop listening to their music.
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Salsacookies

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2015, 04:04:21 pm »

Ain't no purple warbler in the world quite like The Ghost. 'Cause if any band member's going to be a ghost, it sure is going to be the one that doesn't need to touch any equipment.

Funny thing is, he's actually a bass player, and intensely bitter about not being able to play bass anymore, and also about not being able to remove the shitty beanie and thrift shop winter clothes he died in. His name's Phil.
+1 Upset ghost in hipster clothes is definitely the singer.  He positively radiates the 'I really don't care if this sounds good, just buy it' attitude.
+1
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Yep, the sig is here
Whoops. Well, shit. Typical salsacookies.
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Fniff

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #12 on: August 15, 2015, 04:36:44 pm »

Alright, we've got a direction to go in. Phil got the most votes, but one of the callers suggested a demonic guitarist with one hell of a voice. Heh. Even if ol' Horatio didn't get the votes he needed, I think he'd make a good counterpoint to Phil and a neat fit for the red-voiced one, but I'll leave it up to the listeners. This next's track is 'When I Die'. Surprisingly emotional, really.

They told me, death's gonna visit you soon.
I told them, fuck you, I'll never die.
I guess I was a loon,
But death's the ultimate lie.

I will never touch again,
It just won't happen,
But fuck it, you know? Life's just a chain.
What did it have for me? It was all just misshapen.

{chorus}
When I died,
Was I murdered in cold blood?
Was it hot passion instead?
Was I left to die?
Was it a tragic accident?
Or was it just confused?
I'll hide in death a while.

I used to play the bass,
And I wasn't half bad.
Now I'm a waste, got no face,
Just a mistake, a fuck-up that's just sad.

{chorus}
When I died,
Did I look forlorn?
Did I look meek?
Was I distant?
Was I a stuffy freak?
Like always, I was probably out of place.
I'll be brooding on it a while.

And I'm just yearning,
And I'm looking for a way out,
But I'm always learning,
And I'll twist and shout.
I gotta burning sensation,
I can smell the FIRES OF HELL!

{metal guitar solo}


{chorus}
When I died,
Were my eyes hollow?
Were they dull?
Did they unnerve you?
Did they pierce you?
Were they pained?
Eternity is a long, long while.

I'm not afraid to die.
But I'm not going to enjoy it.


Notice the strong bassline on that track. Yow, feel the symbolism. Anyway, I'd like to thank you all for listening and especially thank those who phoned in. The darling Finn Digital Hellhound, the ever-suggestive Harry Baldman, the fabulous Hiddenleafguy, Salsacookies (trademark, praise the chunks triple exclamation marks), and our correspondent in Canada kilakan.

Anyway, notice the emphasis he put on certain words on that track? Well, that's indicators as to his Origin and Looks. We decided his name already.

Special note: if the colors that somehow suit the character's voice are jarring or unpleasant, you can request them to be changed at any time.

« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 05:34:58 pm by Fniff »
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Salsacookies

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #13 on: August 15, 2015, 04:52:21 pm »

He is Forlorn, with Hollow Eyes. He died In hot passion, as he was trampled during a party after blacking out from too much drinking. He woke up with a hangover of death, and it never went away.
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Yep, the sig is here
Whoops. Well, shit. Typical salsacookies.
I don't need my cavities checked. I just went to the dentist! Ba-dum-tiss.
I am a Christian

Harry Baldman

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Re: The Ballad of {A Band} (SG)
« Reply #14 on: August 15, 2015, 05:06:25 pm »

He is Forlorn, with Hollow Eyes. He died In hot passion, as he was trampled during a party after blacking out from too much drinking. He woke up with a hangover of death, and it never went away.

Seems good enough! I'd be forlorn too if I was afflicted with a permanent hangover. And also I love the phrase "hot passion".
« Last Edit: August 15, 2015, 05:12:49 pm by Harry Baldman »
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