1: ResponsibilitiesMurphy dragged me up the king’s tower, a garish monstrosity peeking out from behind the storeroom quarters like a lecherous lover. Gold and silver furniture adorned its insides – heavy, shiny, and ridiculously extravagant. Never say Sibrek wasn’t a proper old king. A prick and an arse, but definitely a real king, at least up until the point he fucking died when a forgotten beast caved his skull in. The floor told us who was in charge of Breadbowl now, and she was standing right in front of us.
"You’re late, both of you. Terribly inefficient use of time if you ask me. We might as well get this done with quickly, so take a seat. I’m sure you’re interested to know why I called you here."
Over a dozen potential reasons why, all not good. There was the incident with the exploding booze last week for starters. No idea how
that happened. Then there was the accidental spiking of the bird feed with gutter creor. Admittedly might have had a hand in that. What else? The wall? Nonono, it was impossible she could know about that…
"The past year has been a tremendously productive year for Breadbowl, spearheaded by my guidance through various initiatives, and we have far surpassed many of our initial production goals..."
God, she was going for the whole propaganda intro. I looked around to see if there were any windows I could throw myself out, but they were all locked.
"...All this while the citizens of Breadbowl live safer, plentiful and beautiful lives. Thus, it pains me even more to say this. After much internal deliberation on my part, I have decided to relinquish my position as Overseer of Breadbowl."
I choked. Okay, didn’t see that one coming. After the old hag took over last year and declared herself Czar-for-life, I didn't expect her to give up the reins that soon. Perhaps running this place was crazier than it seems. By the looks of it, Murphy was surprised as well.
"Of course, being the Czar Eternal, I still reserve foremost authority in all of Breadbowl’s affairs," she hastily added. Sure thing, lady. "Merely that I believe that it is healthy for the Overseership of this settlement to fall onto fresh eyes, indeed those with more unique perspectives compared to I..."
"Fucking finally," I growled.
"Shut up Ahab," she snapped. "Murphy, I’m tasking you with the day-to-day management of Breadbowl. You've already been mayor for a while, haven't you? I trust that you will make great strides in advancing our cause, for the betterment of the Old Nets."
If Murphy was surprised before, now she was positively shell-shocked. I, on the other hand, couldn’t even begin to sputter at the ridiculousness of it all.
"You’re putting a fourteen-year-old in charge?!"
"Mayor Murphy has proven herself to be widely qualified in all aspects regarding the Overseer position…"
"That’s not a high bar isn’t it. Even Thunk became Overseer."
"And he proceeded to
save Breadbowl, many times if I can recall. What’s your point, Ahab?"
"My point is that I’ve got loincloths older than her!"
"Need I remind you that said loincloths were up until recently worn by a certain drunk dwarf as he danced topless across the outer walls, singing lewd songs about hamsters and elderberries." Aha, so she did know. Thoroughly defeated, my hands assumed a submissive gesture. "As for you, I didn’t bring you here to debate the merits of Murphy’s promotion. Here," I was handed a combat report, the ink still fresh on its pages. "Read this. There was a goblin attack an hour ago."
My interest perked, I flipped through the red-yellow pages, complete with crude renditions of the scene.
COMBAT LOG #11473Hour 2315: Unidentified figures sighted along the southern perimeter.
Hour 2318: Unids confirmed as hostile contacts – one goblins and three elves, armed.
Hour 2325: Primary squad the Shafts, led by Big Sibrek are dispatched as first respondents.
Hour 2326: Trainees squad is mobilized, high on alert for further contacts.
Hour 2330: Senior officer and Former Overseer Thunk makes first contact by, quote eyewitness account, charging at hostiles roaring "THUNK WILL DEFEND BREADBOWL! THUNK CHARGE AT BAD GOBLINS! THUNK SMAAAASSHHHH!"
Hour 2331: Hostile forces flee without combat. Two elves divert further indoors, and are caught by cage traps. Remaining hostiles escape south past the southern bridge, with Thunk in pursuit.
Hour 2335: Pursuit is unsuccessful. Goblin hostiles escape.
Hour 2336: "THUNK WILL DESTROOOYYYY YOOOOUUUU!"
"Small raiding party, unknown motives, two caged prisoners." I couldn’t help but grumble. "Gee I wonder why I was summoned..."
Czar Kadol appeared irritated. "Enough with the insolence, Ahab. I’m sure you understand the need for this. The captured elves are under Captain Likot’s supervision; you two are to work together for the interrogation. Now catch."
Something shiny came flying my way; I didn’t bother to catch. The tin badge landed and clattered noisily around my feet.
"Consider yourself reinstated, Hammerer."
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Topic: Breadbowl: a Succession Farm [42.06] - Breadbowl Ends (Read 446530 times)