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Author Topic: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage [Mission II!]  (Read 56962 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #90 on: August 05, 2015, 01:36:34 pm »

Touche. Why didn't they just teleport you into the main balloon in spacesuits and tell you to shred it?

((Yeah, like anyone's about to give us a spacesuit. Those are expensive, you know.))
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #91 on: August 05, 2015, 01:38:53 pm »

Space magic has been known to murder characters who ask too many questions. Also, do the Justice Corps seem like an organization concerned with things like 'forward planning or 'being efficient'? That doesn't sound very Heroic to me.
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Russia is simply taking an anti-Fascist stance against European Nazi products, they should be applauded. ¡No parmesan!

ATHATH

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #92 on: August 05, 2015, 02:52:15 pm »

Space magic has been known to murder characters who ask too many questions. Also, do the Justice Corps seem like an organization concerned with things like 'forward planning or 'being efficient'? That doesn't sound very Heroic to me.
Wouldn't that mean that the majority of scientists would be-

*ZAAAPPP*
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

Ruludos

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #93 on: August 05, 2015, 03:28:20 pm »

 ((Much less entertaining, too. A plan like "teleport them right to the boss" sounds like it has almost no chance of horrifying death at all!))
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IronyOwl

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #94 on: August 05, 2015, 09:18:27 pm »

"Yes, flee! FLEE BEFORE YOUR NEW MASTERS!"

Vissilik ran over to catch one of the fleeing Nazis.

"Device! SCAAAAAAAAN HIIIIIIM AAAHAHAHAHAHA!

And you!"
He shook the Nazi dramatically, waving his sword around in a vaguely, erratically menacing sort of way. "Tell me where your master is, that I may slay him, claim his hat, AND THEN RULE THIS SKYSHIP AS ITS ONE TRUE MASTER!"

Catch, scan, and interrogate one of these "Nazi" humanoids.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Ruludos

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #95 on: August 05, 2015, 09:40:16 pm »

that I may slay him, claim his hat, AND THEN RULE THIS SKYSHIP

((The hat is important. Only way to tell who's in charge.))
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #96 on: August 06, 2015, 05:41:29 am »

London Tanner
London points to the panicked Nazi crowd. "That way! For JUSTICE!"

Charge and attack the closest Nazi scum!

There is no better way to start one's Heroic career than indiscriminate murder, and London isn't about to waste any time. She picks the nearest Nazi, a thin-faced man in dress uniform staring at them with wide eyes, and hefts up Grímnir's Hold. [4-1=3] London leaps down from the table and [Dodge:2] [Damage:6] bisects a Nazi skull as she swings down with the ancient weapon. Blood and brain matter spurts out and fragments of shattered bone spin off from the sheer force of the blow. First blood is hers. For a moment, the wards are suffused with a pleasant, reddish glow.

The Nazis who witnessed the event seem, if possibly, even more frenzied in their attempts to get out, though a few officers seem to be digging for pistols in holsters. Towards the main exit, London even spots someone waving a ceremonial sabre around.

---
Spoiler: London Tanner (click to show/hide)

Evil Roy
Time to give these fellows a good stabbing with my bear blade. Maybe grab one with the glove if anyone is sufficiently disabled.

Evil Roy is as eager to get in on the fun. [4] He swoops down to the floor and faces off against a gentleman in a nice suit. They lock eyes for a second, as far as anything can lock anything with Evil Roy, and then the poor bastard turns to run screaming. Evil Roy is right on his tail, so to speak, [Dodge:3] and slashes in a wide arc with the bearsword. [Damage:5/2=3] The humming blade catches the man across the back and sends him sprawling with a trail of hot blood. Evil Roy closes in, stretching his glove in preparation. The mouths snap and wail, seemingly in anticipation.

[5] Wounded as he is, the man proves helpless against Evil Roy's grip. He closes the gloved appendage around the man's skull and lets it feast. Rapid-fire gnawing and thrashing follows, while the chaos in the hall continues uninterrupted around them. When Evil Roy withdraws his glove-extremity, the man is no longer moving. Tiny bite marks adorn his face with such frequency it's hard to actually distinguish any facial features anymore. Second blood has gone to Evil Roy and his Evil Hand-thing.

---
Spoiler: Evil Roy (click to show/hide)

Speaks
Shoot the one that looks most dangerous.  Just pick randomly in case of tie.

Speaks is of a more thinking nature. He scans the rapidly-emptying room - the main doors are still blocked, but there seem to be men with actual helmets and guns trying to make their way in. Closer to home, a few of the dinner guests appear to have found their courage. He spots a thick-set Nazi waving around a buzzing pistol [3] and takes his shot at the exact same time as his enemy. [Nazi Dodge:4] The Tooth Gun bangs and a tiny but damned sharp molar shoots out with astounding speed, only to whoosh straight past the Nazi and embed into the wall far behind him. The Nazi's own pistol gives off a warbling sound and spits out a blast of white-hot energy that [Dodge:4] Speaks whirls out of the way of with ease. The two combatants glare at eachother, ready for round two.

---
Spoiler: Opponents (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Speaks (click to show/hide)

Crit
Plant a seed in some Nazi food. Screen displays a nuclear explosion and a flashing skull.

Crit, finding itself wholly unarmed, crouches down on the table as the chaotic battle-slash-massacre goes on around it. The robot peers at a plate of roast pork on display and after a moment, flicks the Megaseed container. A single dark seed tumbles out and falls into the meal. Crit watches for a few moments, though nothing actually appears to happen yet. Some sort of growth sounds to be taking shape - in this chaos, the Nazis will undoubtedly not find the budding jungle until it is all too late. Just to be on the safe side, Crit moves the plate out of sight under the table.

[3] Unfortunately, even if he's avoiding combat, it does not seem like the combat is willing to avoid him. Crit looks up to see some fleshy madman brandishing a sword charge towards them from the last remains of the crowd, cursing with such ferocity the translators cannot seem to keep up.

---
Spoiler: Opponents (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Crit (click to show/hide)

Vissilik
"Device! SCAAAAAAAAN HIIIIIIM AAAHAHAHAHAHA!-

And you!"
He shook the Nazi dramatically, waving his sword around in a vaguely, erratically menacing sort of way. "Tell me where your master is, that I may slay him, claim his hat, AND THEN RULE THIS SKYSHIP AS ITS ONE TRUE MASTER!"

Catch, scan, and interrogate one of these "Nazi" humanoids.

[4] With his mind on the real prize - skyjacking one of these beauties - Vissilik rushes forward on all legs to overtake a fleeing German. The young man quivers in fear at the sight of such an alien monstrosity and [2] is caught effortlessly as he stumbles and falls straight into Vissilik's waiting iron embrace. Gordion is only happy to do its master's bidding, beeping happily at being given an order. It hovers around the caught Nazi, letting loose with every sensor, scanner and analyzer in its body.

Satisfied, Vissilik begins to shake the young Nazi around vigorously. [4] After a few impressive screams, he begins to talk.

'Please! Mercy, mein Herr! I'll tell you! I'll tell youuuuu please put that sword down gghhgh master pleaaaaase'

Not satisfied, Vissilik shakes him about even more. The man begins to look a little pale from all the movement. 'Please! The captain is on the bridge! Towards the prow! Or, or, the Reichsmarschall, he's on the Germania! Not here! Please, please, don't kill meeeeee!'

He gestures desparately towards the main doors and, presumably, the direction of the prow.

---
Spoiler: Scanned Nazi (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Vissilik (click to show/hide)

---

I didn't say anything about being able to use Nazi weapons on mission, but alright, what the hell. They will have limited ammo, though.
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Russia is simply taking an anti-Fascist stance against European Nazi products, they should be applauded. ¡No parmesan!

Harry Baldman

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #97 on: August 06, 2015, 06:03:10 am »

Evil Roy slides gingerly along the trail of blood over to Speaks' Nazi Aristocrat (or some other apparently armed officer if there is one to be found) and surreptitiously grabs him by the skull from behind, using another set of appendages to stab the bear-sword into his kidney and hopefully intensify the soulgnawing.
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Toaster

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #98 on: August 06, 2015, 07:59:44 am »

"This weapon is powerful, but the recoil must be taken into account!"

Shoot the guy again.  If death has already befallen him, see if there's another armed foe to shoot.


((I like how their weapons have the subtype "Nazi" so that we know how the evil has even infected their weaponry.))
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #99 on: August 06, 2015, 08:07:59 am »

((I like how their weapons have the subtype "Nazi" so that we know how the evil has even infected their weaponry.))

((I think the subtype means that, say, the plasma pistol looks sort of like a Parabellum-Pistole, and the sword has a right and proper Totenkopf on it somewhere. Come to think of it, the pistol probably has that on it as well. It's that quintessential mix of old-timey, German and unabashedly villainous that you can't really come up with a more descriptive name for.))
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Ruludos

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #100 on: August 06, 2015, 09:47:07 am »

Bloodlust fills London's mind. Butchering chickens at the farm had always made her a bit squeamish, but this was different. This was heroics.

Charge the nearest armed Nazi that isn't already engaged. Use shield if/when I come under fire.
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ATHATH

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #101 on: August 06, 2015, 12:55:12 pm »

You do realize that not all Nazis are evil, right? Some of them were drafted.
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
Quote
*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

NAV

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #102 on: August 06, 2015, 01:13:22 pm »

Run away from the Nazi berserker while dumping glue behind me to slow him down. Get a weapon from a dead Nazi and shoot him!
« Last Edit: August 06, 2015, 06:10:41 pm by NAV »
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

Digital Hellhound

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #103 on: August 06, 2015, 01:28:18 pm »

All of these Nazi's are. They're the higher ups, right?

Literally - they're in the sky! In any case, good and evil are concepts best used in arbitrary generalizations made by the Justice Corps HQ to figure out who to go after next.
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Russia is simply taking an anti-Fascist stance against European Nazi products, they should be applauded. ¡No parmesan!

IronyOwl

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Re: Guns, Cash, and Glory: A Random-Generated Scifi Rampage RTD [Mission I!]
« Reply #104 on: August 08, 2015, 09:40:23 pm »

((Augh, missed the update. Sorry!))

All of these Nazi's are. They're the higher ups, right?

Literally - they're in the sky! In any case, good and evil are concepts best used in arbitrary generalizations made by the Justice Corps HQ to figure out who to go after next.
((AKA we're the good guys, because we only kill evil people. You can tell they're evil because the good guys wouldn't kill them unless they were.))


"Superb, supeeeeeerb! Or... wait, what?! Are we not even on the mightiest of vessels?! Unacceptable! Momentarily acceptable! Adequate yet not supreme!

Out of the way, you fools, I HAVE BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO!"


Drag the Nazi along in an attempt to shove through or scurry over the crowd, as though I belong here and have important ship business to attend rather than being an armed invader intending to bring down their entire fleet.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.
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