At this point I'm just patiently waiting in the bedroom while she does her hair.
LoL more like she went straight out of the bathroom and looking at me in the eyes said - "no bjs till I'm fifty"
It's like you met this girl on a dating site and you two seemed to hit it off really well. From her pictures she looked super fit and she seemed to carry herself off well. Not to mention you got to talk to her friends and they made you think she was great. When you decide to meet however, turns out she doesn't have money for the cab fare to get there so after some hesitation you decide to just pay for that.
She arrives. She looks pretty but she's shallow and extremely materialistic. You get the feeling she's not all there. She's fun to be with at first, but soon you realize two things. One, she seems to be just repeating what people have said before. Two, she's actually only 14-years-old. You were just completely bedazzled initially by her looks to notice.
So after an awkward first
conta- meeting, you finally drop her back off at her place. You're feeling a bit regretful at the whole affair and kinda want your cab fare back (along with the other expenses she managed to accrue along the way). The door opens and 'lo and behold. Her dad is there. It's motherfucking Crusader Kings II. He's shirtless, abs glistening with sweat like he just finished another exhilarating workout. Hair parted in that perfect way that accentuates his perfect face. his eyes brimming with the spark and wisdom of age. He smiles a bit at you, knowingly with a dash of smugness that comes across as just beautiful in every way. There are a few scars on his chest which mark the signs of his intense battle to get to where he is. His hand decorated with the blood of the heathen. His magnificent DEUS VULT under the towel that he greets you in, huge in size and bursting with... DLC.
You take another look at Stellaris. She eyes you coquettishly, though you can't help but remind yourself how young she is, especially when compared to her father.
You realize what she might be when she becomes an adult, her pedigree might take her far.
But for now, you toss Stellaris into the bushes and jump into the arms of Crusader Kings II.