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[DAPARROT]

I'm a parrot, so I perch not sit, I perch on the throne and declare it mine

[Elfeater]

I unleash a horde of cats, driving you from the throne, now I sit upon my throne, defended by loyal felines.

[fillipk]

Yes but are they war cats?  Me and my heard of war cats drive off your cat army and claim it for our own

[Trapezohedron]

I open up a tear to summon a Motorized Patriot and sic it on your ass.

Columbia owns the throne.

[Detoxicated]

Sadly Columbia is addicted to cocaine, which I produce, but refuse to sell it. Columbia dies in agony of rehab, and the throne is taken by a younger version of me who travelled through time to claim the throne. I control the throne, yet I still chill on the lawn to meditate, laughing heartily at myself for having the lust for power.

[Trapezohedron]

Time crashes due to your abuse; the throne no longer exists in normal time.

You are trapped in said instance, and Yog-Sothoth descends in the outer-timeworld to eat you whole. He then claims the throne.

[fillipk]

I summon him to me then blow us both up, Henderson style.

[DAPARROT]

I take the throne since you blew yourself up