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[Trapezohedron]

You are a $83m priceless Ming Dynasty era porcelain vase, imported from China after having been excavated from one of the old temples and smuggled overseas.

You are currently in a warehouse, full of seedy thieves and a single black market dealer. Near the entrance to the warehouse, a rich, dark-clad businessman approaches.

What do you do?

[~Neri]

Whisper into the business's mind. Promises of power in exchange for blood.

[Orange Wizard]

Nonchalantly shatter on the floor.

[Andres]

Whisper into the business's mind. Promises of power in exchange for blood.

+1

[Cheesecake]

Whisper into the business's mind. Promises of power in exchange for blood.

+1

+1

[LordBucket]

What do you do?

Be pretty.

[Empiricist]

Whisper into the business's mind. Promises of power in exchange for blood.

+1

+1

+1. But also say that the money and hookers are fine as well.

[Trapezohedron]

You peer into the materialistic eyes of the business asshat.

...

...

...finally this ancient vase will be mine! Ahahahahahaha!...

You don't know what he's talking about. You're just a vase. If you had a face, it would appear deadpan, but you don't. So you appear blank. In any case, it would be incredibly fantastic if the place were a little bit livelier. And red.

"take me, and my power will be yours... hookers and blow, too, if that's your thing..."

You repeat that sinister mantra into that poor schmuck's brain, at first making him uneasy, but right now he seems really determined to get you. For free.

"So... where's the dough?", the dealer asks. "Uh... can I take a look at this thing for a sec? It looks really... I don't know? Something about it seems amiss."

"No touching, buster. Pay up to get it."

"No, I just want to take a teensy little look at it."

The Dealer jostles you up to his left arm, clutching you tightly. "No, fuck you! You ain't touching this shit until you pay up!"

The thieves ready their weapons: guns, bats, knives, pipes, all of the things that can make the hurty feel hurt. You can feel the air becoming tense; if it were a normal deal, the thieves would allow you to be seen up close, but it seems your influence is overarching.

"...you dare steal that thing away from me?!", the businessman angrily shouts. "THAT THING IS MINE!"

Shots are exchanged and the room is rapidly painted crimson, but for some reason, you are put back onto a table, sitting all pretty and shiny. You could enhance the tension by trying to fall. Cue winds strong enough to push you off your pedestal.

"NOOOOOOOOO!", both the dealer and the businessman shout, the two being the only surviving people in the warehouse.

---------------------------------------

It is dark. The lights are flickering; your body is slightly chipped from the fall. There is silence - a lack of gunshots and screams, and a whole lot of bodies. You sit there on the floor on your side, contours allowing for movement.

You are still a vase. What do you do?

[conein]

POSSESS THE BUSINESSDUDE AND KILL THE OTHER DUDE OR SOMETHING

[Empiricist]

POSSESS THE BUSINESSDUDE AND KILL THE OTHER DUDE OR SOMETHING

+1 Preferably by lodging self upside-down on their head.

[~Neri]

Summon our old friend Cheshire Cat. He's probably been bored down that rather Long rabbit hole. He'll probably enjoy a red painted room.

[Cheesecake]

Have the two duel. Winner gets to be our vassal for life.

[Rubidium]

Bash yourself on the two peoples' heads, even if you'll break yourself!!!

[Trapezohedron]

Your exquisite contours and divine patterns of cobalt and immaculate white sow feelings of hatred upon the two people, if their rage wasn't already pre-justified by them wounding each other.

The Black Market Dealer is wounded with a bullet on the stomach, but he could probably plunge a knife straight to the neck of the businessman, who has managed to dodge some bullets but ended up with fractures on the leg and the ribs. The businessman however, still holds the gun he used to shoot at the guy.

"You bitch. You're going to die for what you did.", were the words the Black Market dealer said, seconds before he mustered all of his strength to aim for the neck, lunging.

"THAT. THING. IS. MINE."

*bang bang bang*

Three shots were unloaded, two on the head of the Black Market Dealer, one on his pelvis.

"yes yes you're mine ahahaha..."

You roll towards the Businessman, and declare him a champion. Now he's too obsessed to notice you actually controlling his moves and getting a shard of broken ceramic and stabbing it into "yourself". You are now assuming direct control. Just to make things better for you, you also stuff a bunch of your broken shards into the mouth of the Black Market Dealer. That makes two zombies to control. Zombies with hands, and legs at least. This should allow you to move easily, if you can hide your head wound and your obvious fractures.

You are alone, in a warehouse, considering making the place livelier by summoning ancients of old. You briefly thought of cats, and yet you do not know of any jovial ones. You could try summoning the Yongle Emperor, but it's ill-advised due to his brutality.

You are now a broken vase with two thralls, both of which have shards of yourself. What do you do?

[~Neri]

Summon All The Cats.

Also Summon Hastur for good measure.