Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Cheesecake]

When an effect says 'random hostile target', if we act really friendly and stop attacking, it won't target us?

I agree with lurker to kick those asses, then maybe try to tame the demonic horse.

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: The Descent

Turn 2

Hum. How about we shoot down those 3 hard-asses first

"Good idea. Rot, you shoot first. My gun is more likely to hit if one dies and buffs the other's AC."

"Come on. I knew that... I'm not *that* green."

*Thwang!*

*Ba-BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*


"I could make a terrible racist joke about the skin color IronyOwl gave you Rot, but I wont.

*ahem*

Our hero and his staunch companion open fire on the asses, he with his mechanized crossbow, and she with her elephant gun.

The bolt strikes first, and nails a Hard Ass right between the eyes, but the weapon *just* lacks the power to get through the skin on that part of the donkey's body to do any damage.

Ralphina's attack, on the other hand, does as it should. Donkeyflesh, no matter how tough, is no match for the armor piercing rounds Rot made specificly so that the huntress could ply her trade on the tough as nails beasts that make this dungeon home. The slug hits the equine in the neck, killing it and nearly severing its head completely!

Because Ralphina was not asked to move, she immediately reloads her gun for next round."

The AC of the remaining Hard Asses rises to 18!

"Nice shot. If you were using an actual weapon, you would have actually killed yours! Ralphina 1, Main Character 0!"

"I think any kill your elephant gun gets should be credited to the ravishing ghoul who made and sold it to you, no?"

"Not my fault you didn't think to bring one for yourself."

"Oh yeah? well I..."


"While our heroes busy themselves with banter, the big bad burros bust a move. The remaining donkeys move foward; A Hard Ass will be able to melee each of the PCs text turn.

The Diaburro also moves forward, before gazing to the heavens and channeling demonic power above the battlefield! Abruptly a bolt of evil lighting falls from the sky and strikes Ralphina! The hell-mule rolls max damage on the spell, but the huntresses undead nature allows her to partially resist. She still takes a nasty 10 damage however..."

"Yikes! GAH! Owowowowowowowowo!"

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Present Battle Data:
Rot - 15/15 HP, 5/6 Bolts
Ralphina - 8/18 HP, 1/1 AP Slugs

Hostile Hard Ass - 8/8 HP
Hostile Hard Ass - 8/8 HP
Hostile Diaburro - 17/17 HP [Spells Used: Hell's Lightning x1]

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"...Imgur isn't letting me upload new images for some reason. This means no visual battlemap this turn. Let me just give you the basics...

One of the remaining hard asses will be in range to attack Rot next turn, and the other will be able to reach Ralphina. The Diaburro will not be melee in range next turn, but it will be in range for any of its spells. Either or both of the PCs could take a step back to stay out of melee this round. You could catch all three foes with a grenade that has a blast radius of at least 3, or the Diaburro and either (but not both) of the hard asses with a 2m blast radius.

Let me know if you have any more map questions. "

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Made you look! I'll put this in after the first battle!

[Cheesecake]

Move them from melee range, then throw a holy grenade hitting the diaburro and a hard ass.

[StrawBarrel]

Move them from melee range, then throw a holy grenade hitting the diaburro and a hard ass.

+1 Both should move out of melee range. Rot should throw a Sanctified Grenade at the diaburro and uninjured hard ass. Ralphina should shoot an AP Slug at the other hard ass.

[escaped lurker]

Sounds about right - can't risk loosing Ralphina for the ever-odder chance of getting that horse there


Alternatively, we could have the Huntress shoot the ass that is going after her, so she can instant-reload.
McMortis, would shoot the crossbow at the Diaburro, and then step back.

Then again, we do have enough grenades to warrant their use, especially in a risky situation like this.

[nuclearwhale]

Move them from melee range, then throw a holy grenade hitting the diaburro and a hard ass.

+1 Both should move out of melee range. Rot should throw a Sanctified Grenade at the diaburro and uninjured hard ass. Ralphina should shoot an AP Slug at the other hard ass.

+1.

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: The Descent

Turn 3

Move them from melee range, then throw a holy grenade hitting the diaburro and a hard ass.

+1 Both should move out of melee range. Rot should throw a Sanctified Grenade at the diaburro and uninjured hard ass. Ralphina should shoot an AP Slug at the other hard ass.

"Sounds like a plan. FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

*Click*.... *SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN*


"The grenade flies true, landing between the Hardass threatening Rot and the Diaburro. It detonates with a glorious flash. The Hard Ass, being a natural living creature, takes only 4 damage from the blast. The Diaburro also takes less damage than expected, as it is only half demon. When you regain your vision following the grenade flash, you note the beast has only 1 HP Left... It will surrender if it is the last baddie standing.

Rot then takes a step back to keep the now injured Hard Ass from getting into range."

"Pah. You didn't even drop one of them! That grenade must have been a dud. Let me show you how its done man!"

*Ba-Looooooooooooooom!"


"The Recoil from the massive gun is a bit much for Ralphina this time, as her attack roll only comes up as a 4. Luckily, after factoring in the huntresses rather large attack bonus, the Elephant Gun's AC shaving effect, and the fact that I always give ties to the PCs, she is barely able to put the slug in the chest of the Hardass closest to her. The slug finds the heart of the beast, stopping it stone dead!

As per orders, the infected huntress chooses to back off a few steps instead of reloading her gun."

The remaining Hard Ass now has an AC of 20!

"Good shooting!"

"Thanks."


"Hmm... This looks like a good spot to offer you guys a sadistic choice. I'll let you guys choose which offensive spell Diaburro uses. Hell's Lightning will leave Diaburro at the 1hp Sweet Spot for auto recruitment, but carries a non-zero chance of wasting Ralphina. The odds are not high, but it could happen. The spell would randomly have to target her over Rot AND get a decent damage roll.

Alternatively it could use Lesser Demonic Drain, which wont kill anybody, but will leave Diaburro with more than 1hp thanks to the healing effect.

Don't forget to include your orders for the PCs along with your pick!

As for range information this round, the remaining Hard Ass will be able to reach Rot reguardless of what he does this round. Diaburro could also catch either character for a melee beatdown as well, but that can be avoided by having Ralphina flee to the east and Rot flee to the west."

*Ulp...* "We don't want the overgrown horse that badly... right guys?"

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Present Battle Data:
Rot - 15/15 HP, 5/6 Bolts
Ralphina - 8/18 HP, 0/1 AP Slugs

Hostile Hard Ass - 4/8 HP
Hostile Diaburro - 1/17 HP [Spells Used: Hell's Lightning x1]

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Made you look! I'll put this in after the first battle!

[Cheesecake]

No, of course we don't. No demon horse is worth missing the bickering and sass we could have with this pair. Lesser Demonic Drain.

Also, kill the remaining hard ass, and if that's done, try to knock out the diaburro. Use a grenade if you have to. Once it's knocked out, maybe we can slowly injure it to get it to just 1 HP. Torturous, but it works, right?

[escaped lurker]

Allright, lets take a look at that chance;

Ralphina: 8 HP

Hell's Lightning (Inflict 1d6 Electric Damage and 1d6+2 Evil Damage on a random hostile target)
17% Chance to inflict D6 Damage, 83% to inflict the "needed" D2+2 / 4 halfed for being evil damage = 2
32% Chance to inflict D5 Damage, 67% to inflict the "needed" D4+2 / 6 halfed for being evil damage = 3
66% Chance to inflict D4 Damage, 17% to inflict the needed D6+2 / 8 halfed for being evild damage = 4

17x0,83 ~~ 14%
32x0,67 ~~ 22%
66x 0,17 ~~ 11%

If the Diaburro targets Ralphina, there is a whooping 47% Chance that she will die.
Since the chance that she is targeted is - supposedly - 50-50, We have a ~24% chance that Ralphina will die due to the lightning.
(That is, if my calculation is right.)

Seeing as the Diaburro questionable loyalty and Ralphina's very unlife are on the line, the stakes are quite high indeed. We better choose wisely ;:3

Also, kill the remaining hard ass, and if that's done, try to knock out the diaburro. Use a grenade if you have to. Once it's knocked out, maybe we can slowly injure it to get it to just 1 HP. Torturous, but it works, right?

I'd propose to use the infectious grenades in that case;
2 Infectious Mist Grenades (Blast Radius 4, +5 HP Healing to all Undead, 60% chance of inflicting the Infected Debuff on living foes)

[Weirdsound]

Also, kill the remaining hard ass, and if that's done, try to knock out the diaburro. Use a grenade if you have to. Once it's knocked out, maybe we can slowly injure it to get it to just 1 HP. Torturous, but it works, right?
[/quote]

I'd propose to use the infectious grenades in that case;
2 Infectious Mist Grenades (Blast Radius 4, +5 HP Healing to all Undead, 60% chance of inflicting the Infected Debuff on living foes)

"I can't load my elephant gun, fire my elephant gun, and lob a grenade all at once. If you want me to mist em, and you want that last hard ass dead, Robin Hood over there is going to have to use another grenade as well. I don't see his dinky crossbow getting through their AC at this point..."

"First of all, Robin Hood never used a crossbow to the best of my knowledge, secondly Lets see you try to move and shoot for a few turns straight, and then make fun of the Revolverbow."

"Blah, blah, blah."

[escaped lurker]

Right. Let's not take any chances, and have that Diaburro use Drain.

If it comes close enough next round, Ralphina will "Ralph" on it, if not throw the Infectious Grenade. If possible, that she also gets healed by it. Get out of dodge afterwards either way.

Rot, might need to shield his companion, depending on how soon the horse will be turned.
As such, he is to throw a grenade (Will Blast suffice? Else Frag to make sure) at the hard-ass, and then walk towards Ralphina.

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: The Descent

Turn 4


Right. Let's not take any chances, and have that Diaburro use Drain.

If it comes close enough next round, Ralphina will "Ralph" on it, if not throw the Infectious Grenade. If possible, that she also gets healed by it. Get out of dodge afterwards either way.

Rot, might need to shield his companion, depending on how soon the horse will be turned.
As such, he is to throw a grenade (Will Blast suffice? Else Frag to make sure) at the hard-ass, and then walk towards Ralphina.

WheeeeeheheheheeeeeHAW!


"The Diaburro drains some of Ralphina's vitality. It gets a maximum roll. Again. After applying the huntresses resistance to evil damage and rounding down, she only takes two damage though..."

Diaburro recovers 2 health!

"Now its our time! BLAST GRENADE IS LIVE!"

*Click*.... *PEWOMP!*


"Rot throws the blast grenade against the rock pillar to the west, which is the perfect spot for blowing up the Hard Ass without hitting anything else. The grenade's minimum damage is 5. The Hard Ass has 4 HP. I don't even have to roll anything here!

The Hard Ass has been blown to teeny weenie bits!"

"Heh. Brutal. My turn! Catch ya overgrown equine scumbag!"

*Click* *phiiiishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*


"The grenade goes off between all three remaining combatents, catching everybody in a sickly green mist. Ralphina's infected body is slightly repaired, but Rot is already at full health. Sadly, the Diaburro resists infection..."

"Shit."


"Both party members flee as far to the east as they can, ending their turns.

Diaburro rushes foward, closing the gap between Rot and itself, before attempting to kick the ghoul's ass with a melee attack! The kick connects, but for once Diaburro gets a poor damage roll, only inflicting 6 damage!"

"OOOOOF! Fuck... Am... am I missing a tooth?"

"You're a damn ghoul. You could lose a limb and be fine. Do you need mommy to kiss it and make it better?"

"S-shut up! At least we are almost done here. I think."

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Present Battle Data:
Rot - 9/15 HP, 5/6 Bolts
Ralphina - 11/18 HP, 0/1 AP Slugs

Hostile Diaburro - 3/17 HP [Spells Used: Hell's Lightning x1, Lesser Demonic Drain x1]

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Made you look! I'll put this in after the first battle!

[nuclearwhale]

Rot, go for a claw attack! If that fails to kill/recruit, Ralphina can reload and shoot it.

[StrawBarrel]

Rot, go for a claw attack! If that fails to kill/recruit, Ralphina can reload and shoot it.

+1

[Weirdsound]

Chapter 1: The Descent

Turn 5


Rot, go for a claw attack! If that fails to kill/recruit, Ralphina can reload and shoot it.

"Good call. I dosn't matter how many fancy toys I make, it still feels good to rip somebody apart by hand every so often!"


"Our hero flails around widely with his claws... and fails to hit anything."

"Edward Scizorhands you are not. Stand back killer, I got this."

*BA-LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*


"In a single fluid motion, Ralphina loads her gun and fires. The slug nails the Diaburro in the temple and comes out the other side. The demon mule comically stands in place for a second before dropping dead!"

"You make it look too easy Ralphie... Alright. We won. What do we get?"



"Hang on a second and let me tally it up...

Ralphina scored 3 of the kills, so that means 3 meat rations. Rot, you fail to find anything when the Diaburro dies right next to you, but you do manage to scrounge up two items to tinker with after the battle, and all these asses also drop pelts for you to play with as well..."

Battle Clear!
+3 Hard Ass Leather (Drop)
+1 Demonic Leather (Drop)
+3 Meat Rations (Butcher)
+1 Ass Bone Ball and Socket Joint (Scrounger)
+1 Jar of Equine Intestine Glue (Scrounger)

Rot Feeds himself on the corpses after the fight!
Rot Reloads his Revolver Bonebow with Donkey Bone after the fight!

"Not a bad haul..."

"Not at all. I'm sure you'll make all sorts of fine stuff for me to use with this."

"....You wish."


"Alright. Dungeon map is uploaded! Choose which room to go to next... After doing whatever tinkering, healing, and/or picking on the PCs you want to get out of your system between battles of course."

Party Information and Bestiary:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Present Battle Data:
Rot - 9/15 HP, 6/6 Bolts
Ralphina - 11/18 HP, 1/1 AP Slugs

Battlemap:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No battle at the moment...

Town/Dungeon Map:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)