Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Trapezohedron]

Quick summary of the thing, when I think about things, I tend to think about the possibility of other events happening, and the possibilities of the possibilities, and so on and so forth.

It's a good thing when you're trying to be careful, but when it puts a damper on your social life (Oh, this girl would turn me down anyway, at some point in life, I'm not going to waste my time trying to cultivate what I will lose eventually), it's equal parts bad. Mainly because I think of the possibilities of x event happening, my social growth has stunted.

Like so, the above is scenario A (girlfriend).

Scenario B:

Friend invites me to go on outings

* New Guy thinks of the possibilities that could happen

-family might need me
-family might scold me
-i might run out of cash
-it's too far how do i get home

end result: nah, maybe next time.

I want to get away from this. Any tips?

[Ribbonfree]

There were a couple of things that helped me ease out of this mindset to where I am now, where I still have a tendency to overthink but more in hindsight than in a preventative manner. One way of going about it is to turn the overthinking into it's own control mechanism, through the time honored art of self-awareness. When you realize that you're paralyzed by indecision, and that probably happens all the time, you should start developing the mental ability to break down the fact that you're overthinking. Like

- 'Conflicting barrage of paralyzing thoughts'
- 'Wait hold up a second I'm doing it again'
- And soon enough you can progress to 'Hey I'm probably overdoing it a bit I should relax'

Conditioning your mind to combat it's own tendencies. Another thing that helps this sort of thing that I've found is social encouragement. Whatever friends and family you have, ask them to really be persistent with you when you're being stubborn and talk you out of your own funk. External reinforcement and feedback always helps, people reaching out should help break the lockstep your mind can put itself into when trying to decide to do unfamiliar things. Take stuff slow, as much as you need to brace yourself do small things out of your comfort zone so you can keep pushing bit by bit into more uncertain territory. Always try to bear in mind in your day to day that things will never go as wrong as your paranoid mind makes them out to be, starting with the small things again while you work your way up. 'I can casually chat to this person I barely know', or whatever. That helps you get out more, which builds a pool of experiences that prove to your overtaxing brain that, yes, I can do things without thinking too much about it. Positive feedback loop.

[LordBucket]

I want to get away from this. Any tips?

One does not stop being analytical being analyzing the state of being analytical. One does not stop thinking too much by thinking about the fact of thinking too much.

Be.

Do.

Don't think about what. Don't think. Just act. grab your left arm and say "ooga booga!" Jump up and down and feel the way your cheeks jiggle. Watch some kitten videos and imagine the kittens nuzzling up to your cheek and biting your nose. Get up from your chair and run in circles through your kitchen. Find a swirly chair and spin.

Whatever.

It doesn't matter.

Don't think about it.

Just do.

Thoughts, emotions, behaviors...all of these are like water coursing over ground, or walking a path through the forest. The more a path is tread, the more grooved it becomes and the easier it is be tread again. Water tends to find it easier to follow the path carved by water that has traveled before it. So too do your thoughts and feelings.

So stop thinking about how much you think. Your very methodology is counterproductive.

Go tread a new path.

[Meph]

Discipline. Just say yes. You will still analyze it, will still say "I probably shouldnt, for reasons A, B and C", but you have to ignore those and say yes. Go, even without wanting to go. Once you are on the way, it will be fine.

[gimlet]

Use the power of "What the Fuck".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geDCtBQeN8c

(I mean don't be a *complete* moron about it - ie never use the power for something like "Crack cocaine?  OK, what the fuck!")

[Neonivek]

My experience in hypnosis tells me that

Not being analytical is pretty much nearly impossible it is just how you are. It can take years to even ease it into a stop for an hour.

[Generally me]

I had the same problem a while back and I got over by just thinking what the fuck may as well try it once. Also for me it wasn't me being analytical, it was more me just making up reasons for myself so I didn't have to go. The main one I was always worried about was getting back, but in the end it nearly always ends well and if it doesn't then at least you have a brilliant story to tell.

[Trapezohedron]

hmm, so i need to filter out the 1000 other possibilities i generate each and every time i want to do something.

That's... hard but I'll try. Thanks for the advice.

Tried doing some of this yesterday, like somehow me ending up thinking a dozen possible possibilities, and then ignoring them somehow. Makes me feel uneasy somewhat but tried I did.

[Ribbonfree]

That's all you can do, just keep trying! Repetition and practice, that's how anything is developed.

[Neonivek]

Look no REALLY you can't stop being analytical.

Think about what not "thinking about what you are doing" means to you. You guide yourself with thought, you are considerate, and careful.

To stop being analytical would be the equivalent of brain surgery.

What you need to do is learn to stop letting it bug you so much.

[Trapezohedron]

Of course, Neonivek.

It's my default phase, I cannot stop it.

Sometimes I just have to veto it and do things on face value and stop doubting, so I can end up doing it at all.

[Tiruin]

New Guy!!! Kamusta ka na?

Alright, I'll be brief and concise here--dude, your problem is not that you're being 'so analytical', its how its going on in the timespan where processing the idea occurs; it is readily balanced by critical thinking.

See, your situation there is my whole life, and I've found out how to use it in a way that isn't obstructive. It's a thing my family jokes about, and we do it in a good way

Focus on the matter at hand, diverting the flow of that analysis. :3 If you want, I could trade PMs with ya on the matter if you care to expound in private.

Because the problem is not that you're being analytical. You're just being analytical in a way that makes it generally seem like its the problem--but how you're doing it seems more likely to contribute to the problem, rather. (ie Thinking about ways a bit on the side of the main topic).

tl;dr: That you think is not a problem. How you think is not a problem. How you work with and on it is a point that matters.

[Trapezohedron]

New Guy!!! Kamusta ka na?

Alright, I'll be brief and concise here--dude, your problem is not that you're being 'so analytical', its how its going on in the timespan where processing the idea occurs; it is readily balanced by critical thinking.¹

See, your situation there is my whole life, and I've found out how to use it in a way that isn't obstructive. It's a thing my family jokes about, and we do it in a good way

Focus on the matter at hand, diverting the flow of that analysis. :3 If you want, I could trade PMs with ya on the matter if you care to expound in private.²

Because the problem is not that you're being analytical. You're just being analytical in a way that makes it generally seem like its the problem--but how you're doing it seems more likely to contribute to the problem, rather. (ie Thinking about ways a bit on the side of the main topic).³

tl;dr: That you think is not a problem. How you think is not a problem. How you work with and on it is a point that matters.

Maybe I should rephrase the title in a bit.

1. Analysis is fine with me, I like thinking about possibilities; they already have saved my ass many times. But during 'normal' events that one really shouldn't spend too much time thinking, I just end up overthinking that situation, its benefits and disadvantages, etc. And more often than not, it's driven by a fear of inability, with whatever inability entails during a single situation.

Maybe it's Analysis + Critical Thinking = Balance, but mine is marred by fear of the unknown.

2. Focusing... eeeeh.

That's hard. Or rather, it makes things harder. Putting myself over a zen-state on things makes me forget about everything else, if I end up managing it, but I end up thinking more about the task on hand, with the above mentioned issues on no. 1: Overthinking.

3. Yeah, I guess.

I know my analysis isn't the problem, but my fear of consequences is. For some reason, if it doesn't yield me a tangible result, I begin to feel queasy.

Summary:

Analysis good, I have fears, = Indecision. I need more risk management control, so as to stop freaking out what might happen on the morrow or whatever.

Like for example, yesterday, I went to attend a friend's birthday party. It was on the wayside, a bit far from the roads where I can fetch a ride. Let's just say there were a ton of choices on my mind.

-Man, I'm tired. I should just go home.
-I haven't attended anyone's birthday party in a long while.
-How do I get home?
-What if they don't have the means to get me home?
-How long will this event take?
-This guy will end up hating me eventually if I don't go.
-I'll be late for work
-etc.

Fortunately, I was able to motivate myself enough to go to that party, which ignited all of the color reds above, making me panic a bit. But I guess, if I want to stop thinking and start feeling, so to speak (bruce lee style), I'll have to get used to the feeling of apprehension.

Oh and yes, Tir, I am alright. Or at least I think I am. Or maybe I simply stopped caring comparing situations. Either way, I feel just okay.

[Tiruin]

Maybe I should rephrase the title in a bit.

Yes, yes you should. :3

1. Analysis is fine with me, I like thinking about possibilities; they already have saved my ass many times. But during 'normal' events that one really shouldn't spend too much time thinking, I just end up overthinking that situation, its benefits and disadvantages, etc. And more often than not, it's driven by a fear of inability, with whatever inability entails during a single situation.

Hum...knowing this deeply myself, I'd still have to ask context (because subtle differences in specifics >_>), but what I can say is that the problem is less situational and more on 'how do I use these tools I've got o_o'
In your free time, the orange is totally cool :3 Though it may play with emotions at times [ie After a dramatic event or facing danger or threat].
But, it should be balanced with critical thinking! \o/

Maybe it's Analysis + Critical Thinking = Balance, but mine is marred by fear of the unknown.

You can only analyze as much as you know. :3
Being afraid of the unknown is generally classified as an irrational fear because of the underlying idea having a negative "tone". To be blunt, I'm unsure as to the exact wording as to what I've found out from insight and study--but fear generally has a negative tone underlying it.

Now, to pull that out of context, maybe its a phobia. Maybe it isn't. Maybe its just uncertainty interpreted with fear because of a possible consequence (which usually misses out on how that consequence occurs...ie Linear-Path of thinking).
I can stare at space all day and be grateful for the sky and the bluish tinge of the atmosphere without knowing why it is so. That's an unknown for the moment ;3

2. Focusing... eeeeh.

That's hard. Or rather, it makes things harder. Putting myself over a zen-state on things makes me forget about everything else, if I end up managing it, but I end up thinking more about the task on hand, with the above mentioned issues on no. 1: Overthinking.

Keep in mind, harder =/= impossible. It's just an artificial difficulty used to describe something new o_o Most commonly with a bit of reluctancy or difference in perspective/understanding it, or something getting in the way from Point A and the scenic route to Point B.

Putting it in context, 1+1 =?
First thought that came to mind. 2?
It can be a window. That's what my philosophy teacher taught me.
Or..or maybe it is still 1? I heard that before.
Or maybe[...]
Focus!
"2."
There is no right or wrong answer in many, many situations--but what must be needed is to pay attention to the situation at hand. Critical thinking in perspective! And priorities.
The fear of consequences can be alleviated and dissapated by the understanding...well, by understanding in general. Open-ended thinking is a great boon to the person.

Maybe start with focusing on focusing. :3 When I read your post, I went omg that's me. Is he me. o_o because of how much I can relate. But we're different in a way too!
It's something I discussed with my mentors [Psych Student]. Their best advice is to be aware of when we're overthinking these things...and just go with it unless there is something significant that we need to prioritize and attend to first.

So instead of overthinking it, we proceed with it.

-Man, I'm tired. I should just go home.
-I haven't attended anyone's birthday party in a long while.
-How do I get home?
-What if they don't have the means to get me home?
-How long will this event take?
-This guy will end up hating me eventually if I don't go.
-I'll be late for work
-etc.

This list can be pretty much made into a conversation. How you do it is up to you, but its something that could be tried. :3
"Yo dude, want to come to a birthday with me?"
"Sure, where?"
"{Somewhere close, and you know you can take a jeep ride home}"
"How long will it be?"
"{Details noting 'late afternoon'"
> Do I have any priorities that must be taken care of at the moment?
"Sorry bro, I got work. Send my regards though!"

=
Just one way of poking it, totally out of context.
Dooon't go too far in predicting others because you're seeing only one of the myriad number of events that may happen.

If I can be silly--a recommendation I had since young was to play chess. The make an analogy out of it: the best thing I learned is to just think 2 steps in advance. Anything otherwise will lead you to overstepping your boundaries. [totally take this as an insight only. Not a guide-in-itself to life. :X]

[AdmiralGeezer]

Also helps to analyze how well your previous behavior has served you in the past. If you notice that the behavior has not made you happy, then it is worth it to just not listen to those inner voices and try something else. See how that pans out when you do it for a while, at some point you should find something that works better