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[Generally me]

When I was 6 I was sleigh riding and went straight into a waste-deep pond.

When I was 8 I was playing with some friends, I was running and turned my head back to see how far behind they are, and ran into a wooden beam with the back of my head. Got 3 stitches.

About the same age I made a noose and was messing around in a tree with it. While it was around my neck I slipped and almost hung myself, luckily my hands were on the noose too so I managed to keep it spread while I regained my footing.

When I was 12 the war finished and I returned to my hometown. There was lots of military stuff around, so use kids did lots of stupid stuff like taking apart bullets to get the gunpowder, throwing bullets into fire and ducking behind rocks, or jumping up and down on an anti-tank mine.

Out of interest which war?

[Levi]

My parents used to call the raisin tarts they made Gravy Tarts, because me and my brother didn't like gravy and they didn't want to share the treats.    Fooled me for a while.

---

Sometimes when we weren't paying attention my Dad would make a quick trip to the store to buy groceries.  If we were playing we didn't notice him leaving.  He'd come back with a bunch of food and we'd ask him where he got the food so quickly, and he'd tell us that he used the secret dwarf tunnels.   

We'd spend hours searching our property looking under rocks and stuff to find those dwarf tunnels. 

[DJ]

Out of interest which war?

Bosnian.

[Graknorke]

Sometimes when we weren't paying attention my Dad would make a quick trip to the store to buy groceries.  If we were playing we didn't notice him leaving.  He'd come back with a bunch of food and we'd ask him where he got the food so quickly, and he'd tell us that he used the secret dwarf tunnels.   

We'd spend hours searching our property looking under rocks and stuff to find those dwarf tunnels.

That is a 10/10 lie for children.

[Eric Blank]

Well, when me and my brother were about 5/6, we were playing in the field across the road from our house and we found a strange blue rubber thing, so we brought it home and asked mom what it was because we were curious. She didn't tell us at the time, she just exclaimed "ew get that out of here and go wash your hands!" or something thereabouts. But it turns out it was a dildo. She just had to tell all my brother's girlfriends that one, later on. In that same neighborhood, we'd made friends with some middle school students and played N64 games with them, until they stole one. My parents were never happy with them anyway. We also got cheated out of a portion of the profit from a lemonade stand another couple "friends" set up, but my brother and the other guy with us were just fine letting #s 4 and 5 keep all the cash, because they got free lemonade and that's cool. That was a shitty neighborhood full of shitty people, in retrospect.

Additionally, one winter my parents wouldn't let me sled down the hill into the ditch near the house because it was too dangerous, so I logically took my sled and went up into the trees immediately behind the hill to sled down the trail running through the woods. I of course hit a tree and skinned the inside of my thigh, among other bruises.

At that time, we owned a 10 acre plot a few miles away from home that my parents wanted to develop. We took our excess cats out there to live in the shed because we had TOO MANY KITTIES and nobody would adopt them. Of course most of them got eaten by coyotes or ran away, and when it seemed all was lost I started crying for Timmithee, my personal pet who was dragged out there. My father told me to give it up after about ten minutes, but then ten minutes later, she finally came out of the woods and ran over to me! I was so happy! I miss her so much, now...

[Flying Dice]

Wow he actually gave you the bet money.

When ever I did bets as a kid and won them, they would rummage around in their pocket and give me a paper clip or something when I was supposed to be getting 3 Gidzillion pounds.

Yeah, he was solid. Sadly, his hardcore evangelical mom got to him and last I saw he was doing his best to be Reagan reincarnated.

Here's some more:

Spoiler: Speed bumps (click to show/hide)

Same friend. His dad's Jeep was one of those open models with the roll bars and the bench seat in the back. It also had no seatbelts in the back. This was a pretty regular thing we'd do when we were bored and over at his house. Basically, three or four of us would pile in and hold on as best we could while his dad sped up and down residential streets hitting the speed bumps and launching us all into the air. It's short, but god damn that might have actually been one of the most dangerous things I ever did.

Spoiler: What's a little drowning between friends? (click to show/hide)

One of my friends lived across the street from the house I grew up in. He was a year or two younger, and we were different in a lot of ways -- he was a swimmer, I was bookish. We both loved vidya gaems, toy guns, and doing stupi stuff, though. We also both had tempers, though I don't think I'd be wrong to say that I kept mine on a tighter leash. He, less so.

So one day when a couple of us had gone swimming, he got pissed at me about something. I can't for the life of me remember, but he was positively enraged. At the time he was out of the water, the rest of us were in. He comes roaring out, jumps towards me, and latches onto my neck with both hands. Keep in mine, he was a swimmer, I was a skinny little nerd that weighed maybe 60-70lbs at the time. I was already freaking 'cause he was holding me under the water, despite being one of those shits who liked sinking to the bottom of the deep parts and staying down, probably because of the lack of control.

I'm not sure how long I was under, but I'd been scrabbling at his hands, since that was making my body want to try to take a breath even more. My vision was fading and we were still rolling around -- I'm guessing everyone else around assumed it was just us horsing around -- so I went for an eye gouge. Boy did that get him off quick.

And god damn but kids are weird, not two minutes later we were laughing and friendly again.

Out of curiosity, how many of you have tried that thing where you cut open tennis balls, fill them with lighter fluid (or the flammable liquid/semiliquid of your choice), soak the outside, light them, and then try to play tennis with them in an alley or whatever?

[Rubidium]

When I was 7 I made a few snowmen. My hands after building the snowmen were red and... hurting.

[Spehss _]

One time, I ate a lego.

[Bohandas]

One summer when I was a little kid I became convinced that my hand had somehow gotten contaminated with residual explosiveness from an old firecracker I had touched and became quite concerned that my hand could explode of it got overused.

I also briefly became convinced that one of my friends/acquaintances was a zombie or something of that nature after unexpectedly encountering him at the seashore (presumably before he had a chance to get tan, making him look pale in comparison to everyone else) after having last encountered him overplaying the seriousness of some illness he had or the potential for some injury he had sustained to become infected and kill him.

[Biowraith]

When I was 6 I was sleigh riding and went straight into a waste-deep pond.

I hope you meant waist-deep.  (Plus how are you still alive?)

Might actually mean waste-deep - when I was about 9 I was visiting my great uncle's farm and ended up stumbling into a slurry pit (and shortly after my younger brother managed to wind up in the same pit).  Fun times.

[Generally me]

I used to think I was the chosen one and that if I didn't keep all my limbs in my bed then ninjas would come and chop them off.

I also thought that if I didn't look at the door while I was sleeping the world would blow up.

I was like 10 when I stopped looking at the door while I slept.

[Spehss _]

I was like 10 when I stopped looking at the door while I slept.

And that was when the world blew up.

[Generally me]

I was like 10 when I stopped looking at the door while I slept.

And that was when the world blew up.

I'm pretty sure that me doing that made the world blow up in the future. So. Sorry guys, my bad.

[Levi]

Oh, I remembered another.

When I was young I was afraid of the dark, so I had a nightlight.  Once in a while there was a power outage though, and I'd wake up to a dark room and scream and wake everybody up.  I actually kind of enjoyed it when it happened, because it meant I got to hang out at night with a bunch of candles.

Eventually one time there was a power outage at night and I was about to scream, but then I realized I was actually pretty tired and wanted to go back to sleep so I just pretended not to notice.  Thus I was never afraid of the dark again.


Edit:  And how I stopped having nightmares.

I used to have a lot of nightmares when I was a kid, mostly about monsters and stuff.  I was getting pretty sick of it, and during one nightmare I just started yelling "aaaaah" at the monster non stop.  The monster was a bit confused at this, as it was used to me running away.  It started to come at me again but I just kept yelling at it.  It got annoyed with the noise and left.

I did this again in the next couple of nightmares I had, and I think the nightmare part of my brain kinda gave up because I stopped having nightmares after that.  To this day I rarely have nightmares, and when I do they are low-effort ones where I just am suddenly scared about nothing in particular and wake up.

[Arx]

Out of interest which war?

Assuming DJ's not super ancient, probably the Bosnian War.