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[Megggas]

( )

(Well, time to have Mike do what an ordinary 6th grader would do in this situation)

After finishing up in the bathroom, hold my head in shame and sneak out of the mansion without telling anyone.  Return home, go to bed, and cry myself to sleep.

[Tomasque]

Hide active stink-bombs in all bathrooms of the house, then go to the food tables. Wait until people leave the food tables because I stink like diarrhea, then put powdered laxatives in all the food.

[poketwo]

"Wha-hu-re-wh?Bu-Bah! I have places to be, insane pc 'master race'! Off with you!"

Go to the Kitchen, I REALLY NEED THOSE TOPINGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW

DODDOD

[Twinwolf]

"Excuse me?"
Remove the guy from my lap.

[Playergamer]

Well crap, go find Janet and play video games.

[Wilfred of Ivanhoe]

Update of unknown dankitude incoming!!!

( )

(Well, time to have Mike do what an ordinary 6th grader would do in this situation)

After finishing up in the bathroom, hold my head in shame and sneak out of the mansion without telling anyone.  Return home, go to bed, and cry myself to sleep.

[6] You run out of the front door screaming like a nervous wreck all the way home. There is a brown stain on your soggy pants. You get back home and cry your smelly self to sleep.
GUEST ELIMINATED

Hide active stink-bombs in all bathrooms of the house, then go to the food tables. Wait until people leave the food tables because I stink like diarrhea, then put powdered laxatives in all the food.

Janet swiftly removes you from her lap. Without a word, you go to the first floor bathroom and brush past Mike as he screams hysterically. [5] You successfully plant stink bombs in the first floor bathroom and head upstairs. [4] You break into Stan's room and plant a stink bomb there as well. [6] Feeling confident in your sapper skills, you try Rex's door. As soon as you touch the door, it immediately opens. Before you stands Rex clad in blue robes.

"Ah, yes," he says, "Just what we needed. The flesh of the innocent!"

[2] Before you can react, he grabs you and pulls you in, shutting the door behind you. In the room you see at least six other cult members, all with pale skin and pimpley faces. Rex hands you to two of the bigger cultists and they relieve you of your backpack and your clothes. With you down to your underwear, the cultists tie up your hands and feet.

"Prepare the summoning symbol!" Rex barks to his followers. "Gather the rest of the things we have collected and arrange them as we discussed. The Midnight Devil will be pleased with our devotion. This plucky young boy," Rex says as he twists your nipple, "will be especially pleasing to our dark lord."

You see them gather plants, herbs,  a leg of goat, two rubix cubes, and a CD labeled "Tales of a Young Thug: Hottest Mixtape of 2017." They are arranged around an ornate pentagram that has at least three penises drawn into it. The cultists hoist you onto their shoulders as they begin chanting in an unknown language.

((I must ask, are the stink bombs time activated or remote controlled or what? What is the mechanism for activating the stink bombs?))

"Wha-hu-re-wh?Bu-Bah! I have places to be, insane pc 'master race'! Off with you!"

Go to the Kitchen, I REALLY NEED THOSE TOPINGS RIGHT ABOUT NOW

DODDOD

[5] Urist McRichard does not bother you as you assume possession of the crate. Instead, he picks up a "shield" made of cardboard and prays to his god for protection in his heroic feats. You exit the room and spy Connor being pulled into Rex's room. More concerned with your own plans, you head on down to the kitchen and begin adding toppings to your pizza. In the kitchen, you encounter Mr. Dudley drunk off his ass trying to put pizza in his liquor and muttering about how it will be "the best invention ever."

"Excuse me?"
Remove the guy from my lap.

[4] You push the dookie-smelling Connor off of you and continue playing E.T. Steven shows up right behind you yelling "LEL, much dank," "What're thooooose," "U FOCKING WOT M8," "Get Shrekt," and other similar phrases. You can feel the cancer.

Well crap, go find Janet and play video games.

[6] Without a word to Stan, you bolt out of there and go to the home theater. You see Connor go into the first floor bathroom, probably to wash his pants. You find Janet and start shouting "dank MLG memes" at her as she struggles to make E.T. do game.

[Megggas]

(Well, at least my character survived this slumber party.  Hope the rest of you can do the same )

[Twinwolf]

Continue to play.

[Playergamer]

Slap myself in the face, and introduce myself to Janet. Try to play and not suck too much.

[Tomasque]

"Wait, the Midnight Devil sent me here to give you your sacrifice! Check my backpack! The virgin's blood and his message to me is in there!"

       Tell them to take out the pig's blood & the recording of demonic whispering.

((The stink bomb are pressure activated. Each time I hid one in a bathroom, I stepped on it and activated it.))

[SaberToothTiger]

Spoiler: Old Times Die Hard (click to show/hide)

Name: Charles "Bad Juju" Greenbergsteinowitz
Appearance: He is in his twenties, is black, and is about six foot ten.
Background: Born in the most stereotypical black jewish family, Charlie managed to run away before they cut off most of his valued body parts and was later educated by his aunt. She was an even more stereotypical voodoo lady and our hero had learned some tricks of dark magics from her, while avoiding becoming yet another nameless mook, and to make things right and change his life, he stated rapping. He knew he could kick ass, and he soon got all of his money and left. He is currently 24 years old.

How you met Stan Dudley:
Stan appreciates good rappin',
and without mad tag slappin',
Bad Juju ain't bad at rhyme dappin',
and when his disc came out cappin'
ass, Stan liked his tune scribblin' pal
and promised him not one fine gal,
if he only got with him into business with a .50 cal.

Items in Backpack:
A boombox, a mix of all previously made songs by Bad Juju, a mic and a bit of grass.

[poketwo]

*Taking place while leaving eldest son's room*
"How does he kn- Ah, nevermind. Still got to do this properly."

*Now in the kitchen*

"hmmmmmm....... Hey! you should slip this ultra alcoholic beverage  on your pizza as well as your liquor. My brother says It goes great with pizza and strong alcohol!"

Fish out a bottle in my backpack with a mysterious clear beverage that smells definitely like a drink with high ABV in it.

SECRET SECRET THING TO BE SENT

[Wilfred of Ivanhoe]

You know, it's a lot of fun writing this.

Spoiler: Old Times Die Hard (click to show/hide)

Name: Charles "Bad Juju" Greenbergsteinowitz
Appearance: He is in his twenties, is black, and is about six foot ten.
Background: Born in the most stereotypical black jewish family, Charlie managed to run away before they cut off most of his valued body parts and was later educated by his aunt. She was an even more stereotypical voodoo lady and our hero had learned some tricks of dark magics from her, while avoiding becoming yet another nameless mook, and to make things right and change his life, he stated rapping. He knew he could kick ass, and he soon got all of his money and left. He is currently 24 years old.

How you met Stan Dudley:
Stan appreciates good rappin',
and without mad tag slappin',
Bad Juju ain't bad at rhyme dappin',
and when his disc came out cappin'
ass, Stan liked his tune scribblin' pal
and promised him not one fine gal,
if he only got with him into business with a .50 cal.

Items in Backpack:
A boombox, a mix of all previously made songs by Bad Juju, a mic and a bit of grass.

You arrive at Stan's house, boombox in tow, and knock on the door. The door opens and Stan's warm face greets you.

"Bad Juju! What the hell is up, man?! It's been too long since we last met, bro. Come in! Come in! There's food and games and other stuff! Help yourself!"

You follow Stan in and he closes the door behind you. The house is truly fantastic and large, filled with all sorts of fine amenities. Stan tells you that you are free to do as you wish.

Continue to play.

[4] After much time, you finally manage to figure out how to make E.T. move without dying. You make it all the way to the final boss without the game crashing! Steven makes his way to the console, introduces himself, and begins playing the game with you. You are surprised that a port of such an archaic and terrible game would have multiplayer capabilities, but it does.

Slap myself in the face, and introduce myself to Janet. Try to play and not suck too much.

[4] You slap yourself and it smarts, but you regain a grasp on your senses. You introduce yourself and attempt to play E.T. two player. [4] Apparently, this PS5 port has a multiplayer addition so that the whole family can struggle together!

"Wait, the Midnight Devil sent me here to give you your sacrifice! Check my backpack! The virgin's blood and his message to me is in there!"

       Tell them to take out the pig's blood & the recording of demonic whispering.

((The stink bomb are pressure activated. Each time I hid one in a bathroom, I stepped on it and activated it.))

[6] The cultists examine you bag and listen to the recording. Your attempt to make them believe that you are The Midnight Devil's emmissary succeeds so well that they presume you to be The Midnight Devil. The immediately untie you and prostrated themselves before you.

"My lord," Rex utters meekly, "please forgive my rashness, for I knew not fully what you were. Forgive me, master, and I will be sure to make extra sacrifices in your name!"

One of the cultists approach you with the goat's leg and bastes it in the pig's blood.

"We knew that you would conthume the fleth of the innothent," he says with a thick lisp, "but to athume the form of the innothent? You are truly brilliant, Dark Lord."

He offers you the bloody goat leg and the other cultists begin to chant in what is clearly a dark language. They stand ready to do your bidding, willing to lay down their lives if necessary.

*Taking place while leaving eldest son's room*
"How does he kn- Ah, nevermind. Still got to do this properly."

*Now in the kitchen*

"hmmmmmm....... Hey! you should slip this ultra alcoholic beverage  on your pizza as well as your liquor. My brother says It goes great with pizza and strong alcohol!"

Fish out a bottle in my backpack with a mysterious clear beverage that smells definitely like a drink with high ABV in it.

SECRET SECRET THING TO BE SENT

[4] You successfully persuade Mr. Dudley that bottle is an alcoholic drink.

"Ooh. This'll definitely get me fucked up," he says as he grins. "Say, what exactly are you doing with alcohol, anyways. Aren't you in middle school? Eh, whatever. We were all young, right? Those boys I ran with in 'Nam were definitely young. Died young, too."

Mr. Dudley's breath burns your nostrils(?) and your eyes tear up, but he quickly downs the bottle in one go and smashes the bottle on the floor. [3] He scratches his belly with his handgun as he places an arm around your shoulder and draws you close. He then begins to recount his entire experience in Vietnam, including how he had to pick the shrapnel out of his commanding officer's anus after he sodomized himself with a live grenade. He then had to identify the body when the Brigadier General demanded to know what the hell had just happened. If that wasn't the worst, he even had to be the one to tell the man's wife and seven children exactly how he died. Just as you're about to pass out from the toxicity of this man's breath, he lets go without warning and walks back down stairs to the den/armory to continue drinking.

[Tomasque]

Give the disk with the viruses to one of the cultists & tell him to run them in all the computers he can find: "To spread the word of The Midnight Devil."

 Next string the fuse to the firecrackers and give that and the lighter to another cultist & tell him to go to just outside the den/armory door. Once the lights go out he should wait 5 seconds, then light the firecrackers: "To show all the heathens the power of The Midnight Devil."

 Lastly I'll go outside to the breaker box with my wire cutters, and turn off the main switch. If its a fuse box instead, then cut the wire.

[Megggas]

Mind if I give this another shot?

Spoiler: Character Sheet #2 (click to show/hide)

Name: Geraldo Stephani
Appearance: Italian, brown hair, overweight, wearing a sloppy-looking shirt and pants.
Background:  Geraldo is a talented chef, despite only being in sixth grade.  He is very passionate about food, so much so that he neglects things like hygiene and personal health.  He is absurdly proud of his skills and tends to look down on others.
How you met Stan Dudley:  After winning a cooking competition, Geraldo was approached by Stan.  Stan offered Geraldo the chance to become his highly paid personal chef.  Geraldo was flattered, but of course he declined.  A sixth grader of his caliber could never restrain his talent to benefit only one person.  Geraldo planned to be recognized worldwide!  Still, Stan's offer did give him a big ego boost.  Even now, Geraldo still brags about how he turned down such an amazing offer and stuck to his lofty ideals.
Items in Backpack: Autographed photos of himself, a portfolio containing photos of his best creations, and beef jerky that he made himself