Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[NullForceOmega]

Okay, so recent events in the world require an update on my status.

Obviously the whole effing planet is buzzing about Trump being elected, I HATE this.  Mind you I wouldn't hate even the slightest bit less if Hillary had won.  I just want to fucking destroy absolutely everything, I am so enraged that controlling my  temper has made it impossible to sleep AT ALL.  I don't know what to do, I just need something and I don't even know what.

Someone, please, just help me.

[Arx]

I've withdrawn from chunks of social media and media in general while I wait for it to blow over.

Amongst my friends, I just politely veto the topic as soon as it comes up. It helps that it's exam season here, so there's another topic competing with it - obviously that exact thing won't work for you, but if there is another ongoing topic you and your colleagues/customers/populace are interested in, you could try switching the subject immediately.

It will, eventually, stop. I know it's difficult, but the only thing to do is try to minimise your exposure to it, and distract yourself from it whenever possible. Planing something I want to do the next day, or on the weekend, works for me. Might be worth a shot?

[NullForceOmega]

I'm trying, but the rage is internalized, this isn't just a reaction to the hoopla, or even to the election itself, its the endless seething hatred I hold inside boiling over.  I'm loosing it so hard my hands are shaking with repressed violence, I'm barely holding on and freaking out over what is going to happen if something sends me over the edge.  I already don't watch or interact with any media, I'm pulling myself out of GD here on the boards so I can try to stop myself from getting pulled into it, but I don't think it is going to be enough.

[LoSboccacc]

https://youtu.be/21161CV5-Nk

so this is how you're reacting to basically a non issue. hope watching in a mirror could help.

[NullForceOmega]

No.  Not even faintly.  I have no interest in which of them won.  I am not even remotely interested in the outcome.  I am enraged over the circumstances that have led to this bullshit.

By the way, 5 seconds of that nearly cost me my keyboard.  That is what I am angry about.  This confused and terrified reaction over a 'non-issue' is what has me about to flip the hell out and start causing some very severe damage to people and property.

If you don't want to help then don't comment.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Other people are going to have a different idea of what is and is not an issue. Becoming enraged by that is strictly irrational.

[NullForceOmega]

If my rage were rational this thread wouldn't exist.  I am really, really trying to keep my cool, but I'm running my body into the ground in a very real sense here, I normally don't sleep well, but since the election I have only been down for about eight hours, at all.  I have to find some way to put a lid on this or vent some of it or something or I am going to do something permanent and probably destroy my life.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I'm not sure anybody on the internet can provide valid advice to something like this. You should probably see a specialist if you believe you're at risk of losing control of yourself.

Two things:

1. Venting is addictive, don't do it. You can't exhaust rage, you can only physically exhaust yourself, and that is far too temporary.

2. Embrace futility. You are on a small corner of a single world, orbiting a single star of which there are one hundred-billion in this galaxy, of which there are one hundred-billion in the local cluster of galaxies alone, in a far vaster universe. You know perfectly well that your anger is purely an act of self-destruction, so enforce your rational will and chose to act otherwise no matter how you feel. You're not going to get another chance to overcome and prove to be exceptional if you screw things up for yourself.

[NullForceOmega]

I don't do nihilism, it doesn't help.  I can't see, interact with, or affect any of it, so I'll focus on what is here and tangible.

You're certainly right about the rage being inexhaustible tho', I've been trying to keep this under control for twenty years, that is a very long time.  I've even had it mostly handled for about the last ten or twelve of those years, but there are things that set me off no matter how much control I think I have, and the innumerable kinds of stupidity being displayed since (and before) the election hits too many of those buttons, too close together.

Right now I'm trying the 'talk it out with someone' approach, I can't tell if its having any effect.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

A person's emotional mind has inertia to it. When fed certain responses get more powerful, when not they are able to fade.

Don't try to control yourself and wrestle with your emotions. Consciously decide you are going to control yourself, and only do things that follow that rule. It's not easy, but it gets easier over time. As long as you're only judging whether or not you'll listen to feelings of rage they'll ultimately win out because indulging them feels good. You have to interject before you even get upset, to be able to tell yourself you aren't allowing yourself to do this.

You are the only one who can decide to accomplish this. By all means, seek other people's council and do thought exercises if they help, but as long as you retain the option to give in it won't be a permanent solution.

[LoSboccacc]

If you don't want to help then don't comment.

so basically what you saying here is, anybody can talk as long as it conform strictly to your ideas, objectives, methods and goals?

[NullForceOmega]

This thread is for me to seek help from others, and maybe get some useful insights.  If you aren't responding in a fashion that serves those goals, then, no, I don't want you here.  This isn't a discussion thread, that's why it's in life advice, not GD.

@MSH: that is an interesting perspective, but I don't hold with the concept that the mind can completely override the body, there are hard limits and when you push them there are consequences.

[LoSboccacc]

that's probably part of the problem, you're not really looking to root the problem, only to circlejerk about it.

[NullForceOmega]

So far, of the four posts you have made in this thread, the number that have been on topic and show even cursory understanding of the threads content is zero.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

@MSH: that is an interesting perspective, but I don't hold with the concept that the mind can completely override the body, there are hard limits and when you push them there are consequences.

There have been people who cut off their own gangrenous limbs or dragged themselves across miles of open wilderness on broken bones in defiance of death, and there have been people who have extended forgiveness to their child's murderer in trying to do the right thing.

Humor me. To get all cliche on you, I don't suggest that you're an animal, I suggest that you might be human. Your belief in the idea of the emotional limit, after which you are obligated to indulge your violent fantasies and do something stupid, is what holds you back. People can't accomplish whatever they want, but they can become the master of their own selves. Greatness can only be found in the exception, in doing something other than what we're "supposed" to do, or what our base urges demand of us.