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Author Topic: Why does everyone hate elves?  (Read 7663 times)

Sponge

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Why does everyone hate elves?
« on: July 16, 2015, 09:52:46 pm »

Even though I'm probably the only DF player that likes them, why do you guys hate elves? Honestly I don't hate them or love them.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2015, 10:05:18 pm by sponge »
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Calidovi

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #1 on: July 16, 2015, 10:04:06 pm »

Dwarves or elves? Your title and post content conflict.
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Sponge

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2015, 10:05:01 pm »

Dwarves or elves? Your title and post content conflict.
Lol I messed up. I'll fix it.

EDIT: fixed
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FrankMcFuzz

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2015, 11:20:59 pm »

ITT: FILTHY ELF LOVE >:(

All seriousness, there are a plethora of very practical reasons;

1) Their diploment forces you to stop woodcutting. Not only this, but;
2) He's a dick when doing so. "Although we don't see eye to eye (Hah!).... Hopefully you will learn to embrace nature as you do the rocks and the mud"
3) Their traders are offended. Easily. You can't do this to any other traders at the moment. Even if you show them a wooden bin that contains the combined value of everything ever created in every other civilisation to date, they will turn their nose up at you and leave.
4) Their soldiers are poorly equipped. Wood swords (though not training swords) and armour don't really pose an enormous threat to a steel-clad dwarf.
5) Their traders off little apart from plants and cages. These may be useful, depending on the situation (their exotic animals are fantastic!), but the rest of their caravan doesn't have as much variety as humans or dwarves.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Also I liked to believe that it wasn't just a coincidence that, in earlier versions, invasion season was SOMEHOW the same date as the elf caravan. They lured the goblins here. They lured the goblins here with their tall pointy ears!
« Last Edit: July 16, 2015, 11:24:38 pm by FrankMcFuzz »
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NJW2000

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2015, 05:20:52 am »

They call us "stunted", or did in one version. Also, as far as I remember, unicorns are nasty when used in war.

They are also unwashed. Their cities are often empty or abandoned, impossible to traverse in advnture mode, as you have to climb trees forever to see people, and they only sell mangoes. Their cities are also randomly inhabited by murderous sasquatches.

They are cannibals. And eat people they kill. Despite being able to grow whatever they like.
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Calidovi

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #5 on: July 17, 2015, 09:23:07 am »

Elves are basically unwashed, disgusting barbarians whose "graceful stature" allows them to blend in with the truly civilized. It's a horrible trick and the fact that you're the only one that knows the truth makes it worse.
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NJW2000

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #6 on: July 17, 2015, 09:52:11 am »

Yeah, what do they mean by, "your stunted kind", anyhow? Surely they're short to humans, as they can't wear human clothes, while we can wear theirs. Pretentious gits.

Oh, and another reason: Lord of the Rings films: Orlando Bloom as Legolas. While Hugh Weaving would be a valid counterargument, he is definitely non-elfy, and has obviously carried over his plans as Agent Smith, and is just biding his time while pointy-eared idiots run about doing his secretly awesomely nefarious bidding.

Interesting fact: In the reunion scene at the end of the third film, the only person Frodo doesn't bother to name is Legolas.
Proof.

Take that, elves and Orlando Bloom.
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Dirst

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #7 on: July 17, 2015, 12:54:17 pm »

That LoTR notion that elves are just plain superior to everyone, which has leaked into a lot of fantasy RPG stuff, gets annoying to anyone who didn't want to play an elf.  It also seems like Dwarf characters are either comic relief (LoTR, Disney and D&D movies) or two-dimensional (Hobbit movies, Legend and arguablely Willow).  And although it might be a stretch to say that DF takes Dwarves seriously, they are the stars of the show.  So the non-elf-fans might be expected to accumulate at Bay12.
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NJW2000

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #8 on: July 17, 2015, 12:57:16 pm »

I disagree. Gimli does nothing wrong, has a developed charcter, and is also funny in the Lord of the Rings films. Where as Legolas, if I recall correctly, doesn't do that much and causes some trouble at one point.
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Dirst

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2015, 01:13:57 pm »

I disagree. Gimli does nothing wrong, has a developed charcter, and is also funny in the Lord of the Rings films. Where as Legolas, if I recall correctly, doesn't do that much and causes some trouble at one point.
I think I just have too high expectations for movies. Of "a man, a dwarf and an elf" the only one that really got any love was the man.  The extended edition, showing an elf beating a dwarf at a drinking game, was beyond the pale :( I am specifically talking about the movies, Gimli made more sense in the books, and some of the D&D novels seemed to take Dwarves seriously.

In the Hobbit movies, it was as though they they ran out of Dwarf costumes.  I really wish Peter Jackson had left that book alone.
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NJW2000

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2015, 02:07:48 pm »

In the Hobbit movies, it was as though they they ran out of Dwarf costumes.  I really wish Peter Jackson had left that book alone.

Amen.
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Sponge

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2015, 04:36:43 pm »

I love it when people ask about things and it turns into a talk about lord of the rings.
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BlackFlyme

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #12 on: July 18, 2015, 12:16:39 am »

In older versions their caravans would get angry with animal products in addition to wood products, which made trading more difficult than it is now. Bones, leathers, meats and fats, etc. were all taboo.

Plus their selection of goods they would bring wasn't any better than it is now. At least now we can get animals as well as all the useless cloth and miscellaneous plant products.

Their archers were a big deal though, when compared to the rest of their soldiers, before ranged weapons were toned down. Those wooden arrows were terrifying, even though hitting something vital is still left to random chance.
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Calidovi

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2015, 08:10:25 am »

Those wooden arrows were terrifying, even though hitting something vital is still left to random chance.

Can't wait for xxBALSA WOOD ARROWSxx to be implemented.
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malvado

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Re: Why does everyone hate elves?
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2015, 09:14:07 am »

I really hope that Diplomacy might some day make things better with Dwarves / elves relationships and that they will allow more woodcutting as long as you have a stable partnership with them , for example a good supply of Metal weapons and armor (wich they badly needs) in trade for their trade goods and informations partnership ( There's a horde of goblins coming in a couple of months / weeks kinda information exchange etc).
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