Clobbermountains - Overseer's Log
NCommander - Militia Commander Reporting
---As per tradition, with each passing year, a new overseer comes to run this madhouse. This year, it's me. Go figure. As His Gaudiness sits on his throne and sleeps on a bed made of holistic bone (WTF mate?!), it falls to me to keep us going for another year. Clobbermountains has long been plagued by banshees, spawn, goblins (who are camping ontop), and far worse things. As bad as the situation may be though, it could be by far much worse.
I've been reviewing the tactical situation of Clobbermountains, and have decided that going up is nothing short of suicide. There's only one option left.
We need to go deeper
Below us sits the absolute king of metals, adamantine. If we ever wish to reclaim the surface and the lands beyond, we
must secure it. Though despite the kings wishes, I
won't make maces out of the stuff. What the hell use is a mace that can't blungen things to death?!
These nobles man ...I know I can't build an army of the gods in a single year, but I can lay the foundation for my successors. My objectives are as follows.
1. Mine and process as much adamanite as I can within a year
2. Build a new salvation for dwarven kind
3. Give our dwarfs the most powerful motivation known to our kind.
Let's take these one at a time.
On adamanite. The stuff is amazing as hell, but annoying to work with. We've got to mine it out of the pillar, then remove the threads from the rock before we go any further. As such, I'm expanding our strand extraction facilities.
We already have quite a bit of raw adamanite to process so anyone not doing anything else is to be dedicated to full time strand extraction. By time I finish my turn here, I don't expect there to be a single bit of raw adamanite in the place. Most of it will get smelted into wafers, but some will be dedicated into cloth to become robes for the military. I haven't decided exactly how much of each I will break down
just yet. The bookkeeper, if I can find his lazy ass can tell me.
Moving onwards though, our next problem is blow for blow, a dwarf simply can't match a spawn in combat. We need to be smarter, and we need to be farther. Thus we need marksdwarfs. I've ordered TheFlame52's guard to switch to crossbows. I've had a new archery range setup for them.
Unfortunately, I got a report that we are both lacking in ammo and backpacks. Ammo I can work around, we've got lots of copper (which I can also use to train up a weaponsmith; the broker has found a new purpose in life). Quivers are a bigger issue. No leather, and nothing I can get to make more. We have absolutely no breeding pairs of anything in this fortress.
Thus I'm going to trap the caverns and get us a breeding pair of *something*.
I've also noticed a lot of dwarfs using this corridor as a major throughfare between the reclaimed pairs of Clobbermountains and the current fort.
I've had it widening and traffic designations placed. Armok man, we shouldn't be hopping from coffin to coffin to get to the stairs. It's bad juju!
Getting back to the topic of quivers. Well, I did think of a solution, but I hate myself for it.
I'm going to go find a spawn bone and use it to scrub my brain out for such a waste of metal.
---
Let it be known, spawn bones make great brain scratches. Anyway, moving ontop the topic of salvation. Sitting below us is this big empty spot called Hell. A few overseers ago, Taupe released the Greater Spawn in an attempt to kill our enemies. It didn't exactly go to plan, but for the most part, Hell has been unoccupied since.
It's wide open, relatively safe, and has these nifty glowing pits that we can chuck peopple into. I've already ordered a passageway be built to the nearest landmass.
We'll have to build some sort of defensible structure down there. Some kind of hell bunker? Nah, that's a stupid name. Anyway, downwards we go, which brings me to the last point.
What is a substance that is so rare and yet so awesome that only a few have ever seen it? That the site of it can cause lesser dwarfs to explode it bits of gore? That it is impossibly rarer than adamanite?
I'll tell you.
CHEESEBut not just any cheese. No, to motivate everyone properly, we need the right type of cheese. The type not seen since the era of two dimensional fortresses, and something called 23a. We need
DWARVEN CHEESE. Fortunately, I know how to make it!
When I announced that we were going to undertake this most noble undertaking, our chief medical dwarf ran out of the room suddenly struck by a mood!
First, we'll need a kennels
Second, we'll need some animal traps.
Third, we need some trappers, some maggots, a bucket, and some luck.
---
Today I woke feeling refreshed knowing what we're doing. I've installed hatchcovers over the hell spire, as I do worry something nasty might fly up. During this, I discovered one of our masons decided to waste some raw adamanite.
If I ever find out who, I'll have TheFlame52 throw him into hell, lock away the key, and then collapse the mountain ontop of him. However, since I don't know who, I might as well use it to secure the fort!
Anyway, our moody doctor has gone and claimed a craftsdwarf workshop, and started claiming stuff.
(I can't help but wonder if he intends to reassemble Lubla Ulienejshae ...)In other news, our trappers have started assembling animal traps!
I can already taste that cheese ...
---
More good news!
We've nearly reached our future
and we got a most marvelous artifact to comediante the event.
By the gods, it is glorious ...
---
OOC: I hope this meets the Clobbermountains standard of RPing. Also. I think the floor/mine slade glitch works in this version. I'm sorely tempted to try and mining some out
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Topic: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- The End(?) (Read 400879 times)