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The fortress's situation is looking increasingly unsalvageable. What do?

Roll back to before Taupe's disastrous turn
Keep going and see what happens
Let it die

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Author Topic: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- The End(?)  (Read 400376 times)

chaotic skies

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1815 on: June 28, 2016, 10:56:10 pm »

I have no idea how this one will go. I do know, however, that I want...

CARNAGE!
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The Master

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1816 on: June 29, 2016, 11:29:17 am »

Present Day

Well, it looks like I lost the rock toss. We're currently leaderless, so we held a competition to see who would take over as overseer. Participation was, of course, mandatory. I threw the rock the farthest, which means "I have all the necessary skills to lead us". Wonderful. Well, since I'm in this position, I guess I should try and save this hellhole. Yes, it is my sole responsiblity to keep this place up and running for an entire year. I must lead us to victory in this siege and fight the good fight!

Fuck it. Let's have some fun instead. If we're all gonna die, then let's die spectacularly.

1st of Granite
The first order of business is to get rid of all that pesky magma. I've ordered the miners to drain it safely into this nice bottomless pit.


9th of Granite

That thing I've marked as a Q in the picture is some sort of beast from a long forgotten age. It's brutally murdering everyone it can find. I'd drown it in my new magma pool, but the miner taking care of the digging ran away before he could break through to the magma. I'll have to do the next best thing. Send every single member of the military at it! Sacrifice yourselves for the greater good!

Oh. That was... easy.

Unfortunately, another one came by and started murdering everyone.

12th of Granite
I've been in charge for about 12 day and already five people are dead! Everone I know and love is dying!

19th of Granite:

Make that around eight people.

28th of Granite
Whoops.


It was at this point when the framerate tanked and it became unplayable. As much as I wanted everyone to die in a horribly magamy death, it looks like I'll have to start over with a different "tactic". Good thing I only got a month in! Note that these were just my notes. My normal writing in-character writing will be much more expanded. I just figured I should post what I have without delaying any longer.
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NCommander

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1817 on: June 29, 2016, 11:34:39 am »

That escalated quickly
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Quote from: TheFlame52
Fucking hell man, you aren't just getting the short end of the stick, you're being beaten with it.
Quote from: NRDL
Is your plan really to flush water into hell, and have the CARP marines fight them without threat of flame or disease?  If so, you are awesome, and one of the greatest DF military visionaries I've seen yet ( not that I've seen that many, or any, for that matter )

DolosusDoleus

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1818 on: June 29, 2016, 11:53:25 am »

Ahem.

CARNAGE!

I feel that this is appropriate for the situation.
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Monitor Lisard

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1819 on: June 29, 2016, 12:42:32 pm »

...Outstandingly, that was worth the wait.
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Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1820 on: June 29, 2016, 01:00:27 pm »

Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
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NCommander

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1821 on: June 29, 2016, 01:48:11 pm »

Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this

The difference between me and The Master is he intentionally starts fires. Mine just walk in the door. I'm fairly sure between the two of us, we'll have a Fortress Existence Failure. Especially because I've decided what I'm going to do on my turn.

Spoiler: Hint (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: TheFlame52
Fucking hell man, you aren't just getting the short end of the stick, you're being beaten with it.
Quote from: NRDL
Is your plan really to flush water into hell, and have the CARP marines fight them without threat of flame or disease?  If so, you are awesome, and one of the greatest DF military visionaries I've seen yet ( not that I've seen that many, or any, for that matter )

The Master

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1822 on: June 29, 2016, 05:31:20 pm »

I've decided what I'm going to do on my turn.
You still think you're going to have a turn by the end of this?

I'm so sorry.

Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
I'm sigging this.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2016, 05:36:15 pm by The Master »
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Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
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Lolfail0009

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1823 on: June 29, 2016, 10:09:48 pm »

I've decided what I'm going to do on my turn.
You still think you're going to have a turn by the end of this?

I'm nominating that for the quote bank

chaotic skies

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1824 on: June 29, 2016, 11:19:07 pm »

This place is going down in a blaze of glory, whether or not that's literal...has yet to be decided.
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Mr Frog

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1825 on: June 30, 2016, 12:15:07 am »

This place is going down in a blaze of glory, whether or not that's literal...has yet to be decided.

By which we mean that if whatever death The Master chooses to grant us happens to not be entertaining enough, I'mma roll back and see what the NCommander was planning on doing. Actually I might let him just have a go from Monitor Lisard's save anyways since I'm genuinely wondering what the fuck he's planning on doing

But, y'know, no pressure. 8)

Also, The Master has 1 week period (barring literal emergencies) to provide an actual, canon update (not that the one he posted wasn't entertaining). I don't want to hustle anyone off the stage here, since we're running short of understudies as it is, but this is getting a bit silly.

I've decided what I'm going to do on my turn.
You still think you're going to have a turn by the end of this?

I'm nominating that for the quote bank

It is done.
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A great human twisted into humanoid form. It has an emaciated appearance and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its bronyism!

Spawn of Holistic, and other mods

My tileset. Because someone asked. (Now with installation instructions!)
I so want your spawn babies

NCommander

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1826 on: June 30, 2016, 03:39:11 am »

I've decided what I'm going to do on my turn.
You still think you're going to have a turn by the end of this?

Yes, because you're the Master. You can never beat the Doctor. At best you can get a near villain victory. Any attempt you make to end it in fire shall melt your framerate. Lagginess will become this fortresses best defense.
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Quote from: TheFlame52
Fucking hell man, you aren't just getting the short end of the stick, you're being beaten with it.
Quote from: NRDL
Is your plan really to flush water into hell, and have the CARP marines fight them without threat of flame or disease?  If so, you are awesome, and one of the greatest DF military visionaries I've seen yet ( not that I've seen that many, or any, for that matter )

chaotic skies

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1827 on: June 30, 2016, 07:35:44 pm »

I wonder what would happen if someone were to make a version of DF that runs on one of the supercomputers scientists use for big physics simulation stuff...I'm not sure it'd run, even with all that proccessing power :P
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Lolfail0009

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1828 on: June 30, 2016, 08:18:54 pm »

I wonder what would happen if someone were to make a version of DF that runs on one of the supercomputers scientists use for big physics simulation stuff...I'm not sure it'd run, even with all that proccessing power :P

Wait until the 64-bit version for that test :P

The Master

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Re: (34.11 Succession) Clobbermountains -- Things Are As Bad As They Seem
« Reply #1829 on: July 01, 2016, 12:07:51 pm »

Alright, I should have the first canon update done by late tonight.
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Holy jesus I thought I was ready but nothing could have prepared me for this
Hush, little Asea, don't you cry.
If he notices we'll surely die!
You. Made. Asea. CRY.
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