Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Roll back to before Taupe's disastrous turn

Keep going and see what happens

Let it die

[Mr Frog]

Also @Noel.se here's your dwarf's profile:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Mr Frog]

The Diary of Mr Frog Thusestdeler, Stoneworker

1 Limestone 201

Agh! Everything's happened all at once! I asked the other dwarves over dinner if they had any ideas about how I should run the fortress -- just trying to be leaderly, y'know? -- and it's like I opened a stopper or something! Next thing I knew, I had Splint yelling in one ear that our defenses are "completely fucking inadequate" and Ribbon somewhat-more-politely shouting in the other that our garbage disposal is unsafe and we need to put a door over it before something flies in and... and really badly hurts somebody! I don't even know what to do about that first one -- I can't even find the pointy end of a spear, let alone set up a military!

Fortunately, I can totally handle the second one. Doors. Doors are something I can understand. Doors don't cut a huge gash in your leg because you were swinging it clumsily. I don't think you're even supposed to swing doors around at all, actually! I like doors. Gonna go make some doors.

UPDATE: That... that calmed me down a bit.

Or at least it did, until Splint found me again and started describing in graphic detail what'll happen if I don't get him some proper equipment and facilities in time -- it apparently involves quite a lot of having our flesh torn directly off of our bones by the Spawn. He's... he's very descriptive. I could almost feel them chewing on me as he described it... Brr.

I did manage to catch what he'll need to make a proper sparring hall somewhere in that mess... Apparently he'll need a big room with a weapon rack in for some reason; I asked him why he can't just use an empty room and that it'd probably be safer, and he just puffed and said I wouldn't understand. He's got that much right, I don't understand any of this. Still, he's totally gonna get that room:



I put it near the gate... hatch... things, so that they won't have far to go if something happens and we need them to defend the fort quickly!

Also, I thought I remembered the engraver's name, but it turned out that "mikethete" was actually Splint's speardwarf buddy... I'll figure out his name eventually! Probably.


5 Limestone 201

I was wondering why I was so thirsty, and then I realised that we had no drinks left! This is terrible! ...Especially because it's not safe to step out for a drink, and all there are are mucky ponds anyways...
I run around looking to find Ribbon, only to find her in the dormitory:



I didn't want to wake her up, so I left a sticky-note on her face asking her to please make us some drinks at the still whenever she's able to. That's okay, right? She batted at it a few times, but she didn't wake up, so yay!

I hear there's usually clean...ish water in the caverns... maybe I should go mining deeper down? It tastes a bit... stanky, but cavern water's better than nothing if we have an emergency later...


13 Limestone 201

I put in that door on the garbage disposal that Ribbon wanted:



This'll probably make her feel a lot better! I know I feel a lot safer! We still need a couple doors to finish the barracks, though, so I'm heading back down to make them.

On the way there, I ran into Ribbon, who was hauling some furniture. I asked her why she wasn't at the still, and she asked me why I never gave the order to make more booze when we've been running low for the past "1.85714285714" weeks (?????). Oh... oh dear! That sticky note must've fallen off or something! I-it wasn't my fault, though! I couldn't just wake her up, and I did my best to get the order through quickly, but now she thinks I didn't give her the order at all! Oh... oh... She didn't seem all that angry, but I must look like such a gigantic bonehead now!
   I told her to just drop the barrel and to get to work brewing. She did, although she looked a bit... uh... flummoxed? I think that's the word. Flummoxed, yeah. Oh, I must look like such an idiot..!


16 Limestone 201

I asked Gwolf2ki to keep digging straight down from our central staircase and to not stop until he hits a cavern. Aside from the whole thing with the drinks, we'll also need water for a hospital in case someone gets injured! I've been screwing so much stuff up, but I'm not going to let anyone here get hurt if I can help it! Not on my watch, nope!


24 Limestone 201

Um... well, this is awkward. Gwolf just came up to me and told me that he had kept digging down and down until the rocks got too hot to dig through:



But he didn't find a cavern layer! Not even an echo in the walls! So much time wasted... I keep hearing what Splint said about the Spawn and the flesh-ripping echoing in the back of my head...

I was going to have him dig another exploratory shaft, but a few seconds later Noel comes up to me all flustered-like and asks me how I expect him to do any of the bookkeeping he doesn't know how to do without even an office to work in. ...That's a very good question, Noel. Um. I quickly ask Gwolf to do and dig him a nice, big office space to work in across from the dormitory:



The barracks are completed now:



So I had Splint help me fill out the paperwork to zone it as a training area and set up the squad's training schedule. He and mikethete start right away as soon as we're finished filing everything under one of the beds (we don't have any shelves or cabinets or such here, so I had to be resourceful). Oh, it was terrifying! I could hardly bear to watch! Don't they realise those were real weapons they were sparring with!? And they have no armour! If they'd misjudged even a single strike... Ohhh!:



Splint just called me a pansy and said I was fretting over nothing. I... I guess... If he says so...
Also, mikethete just recorded some "biting practice" into his training log, which... scares me even more, I think:



In any case, our military now has a place to train! We're that much safer from the flesh-ripping, right? Right!? ...Oh, we aren't safe at all yet, are we!? We only have two soldiers, and neither of them are armored at all... Armor... we need armor! But... how..?


2 Sandstone 201

I just realised I hadn't actually installed those pretty statues I and mikethete made in the dining hall! Gonna go put in an order to have that done now.

Speaking of... we need furniture for Noel's office, so I called out for mikethete to do it... only to remember that he's up training with Splint now! Ahh! Can't distract him from that! With a heavy heart, I stop carving mugs (even though I'm getting pretty good at it, I think!) and start working on the things we need -- a chair, a table, and a door, I think?


UPDATE: I... I don't even know what to make of this! One of those awful clouds just came up out of the volcano! It's pouring out over the sides even as I write this! Could that be where they've been coming from all this time!?:



B-but the Literature very clearly states that volcanoes are supposed to be holy upwellings of Armok's fiery gifts! How could something so vile come out of this one!? Is... is Armok still angry at us after all these centuries!? Weren't They punishment enough!? Perhaps... is he angry at my cowardice? I...
   ...I think I need to lie down again...


7 Sandstone 201

Splint's warnings about the Spawn are still echoing in my ears, even now... I've been so negligent! I can't let any of these poor dwarves get hurt! I'm ordering a magma smithy to be dug out with channels underneath feeding from the volcano... I don't know how I'm going to safely tap into the volcano itself, but... I have to get this done! We need some armor produced right away:



Also, I'm happy to announce that Noel's office is finally complete! It's so opulent, he should have no trouble at all counting all of our stocks to the highest precision possible like I just asked him to:



I even drew some pretty pictures on the wall for him! I have no idea why he looks so flustered! He'll get the hang of stock-counting soon, probably!


17 Sandstone 201

Another migrant wave has arrived! Fortunately, there's nothing in the way of poisonous clouds of evil incarnate or misshapen crimes against Armok's design floating about the landscape at the moment, so they make it in without any trouble at all! Still, they look... a bit worse for wear. I talked to one of them, and it sounds like they were in the same party as the last one but got separated a bit back, and only managed to get here through sheer luck! They also made sure I knew that none of them resorted to cannibalism to survive, which is awesome! Cannibalism is terrible! There's four of them: a marksman-cum-bookkeeper named pisskop, a metalsmith named Wolf, a fishery worker named Lizzy, and a clothier named ImagoDeo. I don't have the heart to tell poor Noel that we have a proper clerk now and don't need him anymore, so it looks like pisskop is going to be a marksman as soon as I can get an archery unit set up.


25 Sandstone 201

I... I've decided... I need to get that magma forge up and running. Whatever it takes. We can't afford to not have decent equipment for much longer. Not with all the horrors outside breathing down our necks.

I took that fisherdwarf that got lucky with the parrot last season aside, because I think... we'll need some of that luck for what I need her to do, and if something goes wrong, I don't want to lose our engraver -- a fisherdwarf, though is... not important:



[the authour's handwriting changes; the letters are much deeper and rougher -- the authour was obviously applying much more pressure to the pencil than usual]

I took her down into the magma channels and pointed at the bit of stone separating it from the volcano shaft, and I told her to... carve a little hole into it. And run. She was scared to do it, so... I threatened her. Told her I'd send a report back to His Gaudiness that she'd been spreading treasonous rumours. I didn't know what to do! I didn't even know what I was going to say! But she bought it, and so she dutifully smoothed out the stone and began carving out a hole for the magma to come through:



My stomach twisted into a knot as she chipped the last bit of red-hot stone away and the magma started gushing out... it moved so fast... she tried to run away, but...



She screamed in agony as the magma lapped at her heels, setting her aflame, her eyes pleading for me to do something, anything, to save her... before she was swallowed by the magma entirely, silencing her forever:



Maybe she's still screaming in there? I... can still hear her, I think? Oh, oh...

On the other hand, our magma for~     [there is a deep streak; the author likely snapped their pencil from pressing too hard] forges are ready to be built, so that's good


28 Sandstone 201

Now that we have magma, you know what we need now!? Ore! I've ordered a bunch of exploratory mines to be dug! We'll find some ore with the exploratory mines!


6 Timber 201



Jeff asked me where R~    went, since he hadn't seen her for a while! I told her that she's still around! I wasn't lying! She's still here! I can still hear her sometimes so that means she's still alive!


12 Timber 201



Oh, good! We'll be able to tell them allllll about how good we've been doing here! And maybe give them some mugs, too! Gifts are fun! Maybe... maybe if we give them enough they'll let me come home with them so I won't have to hear her screaming anymore!

Maybe if I put some workshops over the magma holes, it'll drown her out a bit:



UPDATE: It worked!

Also, since we don't have a broker and we need a broker to trade I've decided to elect Whatshisname (I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE SO THAT'S HIS NAME NOW) to be the broker since he's so fucking multitalented and I can't even keep a single person from d~   


15 Timber 201



Hopefully they have earplugs! I told the others to go and take a few bins of mugs out up to the depot, past the floor hatches. Hopefully they won't be killed by Spawn!



19 Timber 201

The outpost liaison wants to meet with me, 'cuz I'm the expedition leader and all, and he needs to talk to me about our progress, but nope! Can't do that! I need to find iron ore! I'm just going to pretend he's not there until he goes away!:



Cant get distracted, after all! This is important work!


24 Timber 201

The merchants are ready to trade, ahaha! They won't take me home with them and now they have guards watching the wagons after they caught me trying to hide in one of them, so I traded three bins of mugs for a few bundles of wood (they only had a few but that's okay! We'll just send a woodcutter to cut down some trees if we need more! They won't be hit by the gas and even if they do a super-strong monster dwarf swinging an axe around won't be any trouble at all for our military even if we never find them better equipment!!!), booze, some buckets and some cloth and leather! Whatshisname is such a good negotiator! Maybe I'll be as good as him someday!


28 Timber 201

Where is the ore where is the ore WHERE IS THE ORE

The prospector told us there'd be hematite in here somewhere! WHERE IS IT!? I CAN'T FIND IT! I can't even find the caverns! WHAT KIND OF USELESS MINER AM I!?

[Splint]

Kinda wish I'd been able to take care of actually setting up the magma smelters myself (or at least getting the mama in.) Because deaths scare people away, and that useless fishery worker would have been useful later on... Damn. Ah well. Just lucky it was only one loss I guess.

[Mr Frog]

It's particularly stupid because I realised after the fact that I could have either a) dug down to the magma sea or b) just build the workshops around the volcano's rim since it's fairly-recessed and would be decently-sheltered from attackers. Still, I got to give my dwarf a mental breakdown, which is always fun.

[cherry-hearts]

@Mr Frog: Why do you get so many of the dwarves' sexes wrong in your updates? First you call the fisherdwarf a male in the second update, and now you're calling the clearly-female mikethete a male too.

[Splint]

Everyone defaults to male when referring to a dwarf for a variety of reasons, and in these games it's because most players are male and it's assumed the dwarf will be treated as such too.

[Mr Frog]

I'm not really paying very close attention to the genders. I might go back and fix it in the earlier update because it's really bugging me too.

Although, mikethete was a legit mistake on my part; I honest-to-christ thought they were male and didn't realise until you pointed it out. My bad.

E: I think it mostly has to do with the fact that during normal gameplay I literally do not pay any attention to gender at all unless I'm trying to avoid my soldiers having babies (because that will 99% of the time result in said baby getting shish-kebab'd). So I'm not really used to having to individually sex every dwarf that comes in. And, as Splint pointed out, 99.99999% of dwarves in fiction are male or at the very least masculine-presenting so I tend to default to male when referring to them.

E2: Gonna try to get in a couple weeks of winter before going to bed.

[Mr Frog]

Got about 3 weeks of play in. We are officially the proud owners of a hematite vein. Aww yeee

[Ribbonfree]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I R O N B O Y S

[Noel.se]

Ah, our first death!

Diary of Noel Logemsedur, bookkeeper of Clobbermountains

10th of Sandstone, year 201
I managed to get my own room! It's just a small office, but considering the fortress I live in it's pretty fancy. Clobbermountains... I remember that the first thing i noticed after arriving in this place was the smell - An unholy combination of rotten flesh, smoke and sulfur. I eventually got used to it. The Overseer seems to be inexperienced and nervous, but he's managing this place well enough. I'm the bookkeeper now, which is great. I'ts a safe and relaxing job and I'm swiftly becoming good at it.

26th of Sandstone, year 201
Rakust has gone missing. I asked around and no one has seen her. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since they completed the magma channels. I'm really worried, where is she? I can't find her! She was really anxious ultimately, but she didn't tell me why. When I asked the Overseer he became even more nervous than usual. "Oh, s-so you are her husband?" he said. He gave no definite answers to my questions. What is going on?

[The writing becomes shaky and barely readable]

26th of Timber, year 201
Rakust is dead. I haven't seen her since a month. This is the Overseers fault! That despicable son of a [unreadable]. I will confront him and in Tumams name, this time he'll better have an excuse ready. I won't just let him get away! I won't!
...Who was our engraver again? I'll have to ask ... for a memorial slab...

[4maskwolf]

Diary of Wolf, year 201

Entry 15, 18 Sandstone

Thank Armok we made it.

I don't know how long we were travelling for, living in fear of the holisitic spawn that lurk the lands.  How long it has been since the four of us got separated from the main group without a map, unsure of where we needed to go.  But yesterday, we finally arrived at Clobbermountains, somehow beating all odds and making it to our destination, if several months late.

The dwarf in charge, Mr. Frog, seems... odd?  eccentric?  There's a word for it.  Upon hearing our story, the first thing he wanted to know was whether we had resorted to cannibalism!  I mean, what kind of nonsense is that.  We're not elves: at least, I hope none of us are.

Me personally, I'm just glad to be inside of fortress walls instead of exposed to the elements.  As long as Crazy McNutcase doesn't boot me out of the fortress or order me to do something stupid, I'm perfectly willing to do as he says for as long as he's in charge.  It's just great to be inside of a mountain hall instead of wandering amongst trees and bushes.

Entry 16, 28 Sandstone

Excellent.  Today, Mr. Crazy announced that now that we had fully-functioning magma smelters and forges, he would lead a search for iron ore to allow us metalworkers to properly use the forges.  There have been disquieting rumors going around about how we got the forges powered, but I don't believe a word of them.  Even our crazy overseer wouldn't be crazy enough to sacrifice a fellow dwarf.

Entry 17, 12 Timber

So apparently some merchants arrived today.  That's great and all, but I STILL DON'T HAVE MY ORE.  Like, seriously, is it that hard to find ore?  NO!  NO IT ISN'T!

Maybe this guy isn't cut out to lead us after all.

Entry 18, 16 Timber

I spent most of yesterday hauling crap to the depot for trade.  Again, all well and good, but in order to do my job I need ore, and apparently our expedition leader can't find it.  Fantastic.

Entry 19, 28 Timber

Still no ore.  I'm beginning to wonder whether the expedition leader was just lying about trying to find ore.

[Mr Frog]

Woo, journalses!

@Ribbon

Can Remove Jungle

I think my dwarf would like that at this point


@Noel:

RIGHT. SLABS. I forgot those were even a thing.

[cherry-hearts]

Jeff's Journal, Entry 2:
So, we having dinner last night, and man everyone was yelling. Dude, it was like, Ribbon was yelling, and Splint was yelling and I was just sitting and was all like: "I have no idea what's going on." Everyone's so tense recently because of the boss' decisions; they'd all be a lot chiller if I had the plants I need.

Jeff's Journal, Entry 3:
So I haven't seen that hot fisherdwarf in a while now—it's been at least a week. I asked the bossman, and he said that she was still around, but I think she might have packed up and left. Bummer, 'cause I was gonna, like, propose to her—or something.

[Mr Frog]

So I haven't seen that hot fisherdwarf in a while now

that hot fisherdwarf

‼hot‼

Totally hot. Like, to death, bro.

My playthrough is now finished [scattered applause]. I've started on armor production, but Splint's going to have to do most of the heavy lifting with regards to military matters. We're not exactly living in the lap of luxury, but we're alive and have had no more fatalities or major incidents.

[Splint]

Awesome. I look forward to militarization.