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Roll back to before Taupe's disastrous turn

Keep going and see what happens

Let it die

[Mr Frog]

OOC: So, should I, or should I not, dwarf Crashmaster as Whatshisname?

I vote a very firm "no, but if nobody else cares then I don't care either". I dunno, I kinda want Whatshisname to remain an enigmatic third party that doesn't really belong to any specific player, lol.


The Diary of Mr Frog Thusestdeler, Stoneworker

2 Moonstone 202

I saw Ribbon today! She was wandering around with one of those pamphlets the caravan hands out, muttering about "propaganda" and "really, is this supposed to seem factual?" I don't know what she means by propaganda, but these pamphlets are really cool! I'd never have imagined humans could sacrifice so many infants for so many reasons! You'd think they'd run out, hahaha!


4 Moonstone 202

Oh! That nice liaison was chatting with me today about our exports, now that I've finally finished making all 200 get-well bouquets for poor Noel (I just feel so terrible for him -- first his wife leaves sUddenly and then he gets hurt like that!) when suddenly Splint overhears him asking us for weapons and walks up to him and... and... and kicks him right between the legs! Oh, it was awful!! The poor guy made a noise like a cat being stepped on and then went down like a brick... he even threw up a bit! Poor Mr. Liaison!! He had some nasty words to say to Splint, hahaha! Hope he didn't mean anything by them... I'm sure Splint's been under a lot of pressure! That's why he's acting out like that! Not everyone can handle being Overseer as well as I did, nope!
   I saw Mr. Liaison out of the fortress. He kept flirting with all the girls we saw on the way out, hahaha! He's so popular! Right before he left, I remembered that I'd forgotten to sign some of the papers I'd given him and dashed out of the fortress to get him -- he was sitting on a rock writing a letter when I found him, but he stuffed it in his pocket all surprised-like once he saw me! It must've been something embarassing, hahaha! I feel kinda bad for giving him such a start. Maybe it was something private for one of his lovers back at the capital~


7 Moonstone 202

I heard there was a ruckus down by the new depot! And... and I saw someone carrying a body away to the garbage disposal! Oh, that's awful! I couldn't see who it was, 'cuz it was completely-covered, but it was definitely shaped just like a dwarf! I wish there was something I could have done..! I feel ill...


15 Moonstone 202

Saw Splint running through the hallway with a fistful of... something, crowing about how it was "MY KILL" and it was "KILLED BY MEEEEEE". Oh, he's really starting to lose it! This is terrible! Maybe I'll start making him bouquets, too! A hero has to share their strength, after all!


5 Opal 202

You know what? I don't need to make bouquets anymore! It's DANGEROUS in the caverns, after all!


17 Opal 202

I decided to start training with the military recruits today! It's good to keep sharp, even if you're a hero, right? Except, the soldiers didn't seem to want me in the barracks for some reason... oh, I wonder what I did to make them mad at me!? That's okay, though! I just peeked in through the door and copied what the axedwarves were doing with my pick! Except, I accidentally tripped and stubbed my pinky! Owie! A hero's life can be hard sometimes, I guess... I'm going to go chew on some cave moss to take the edge off the pain!


23 Obsidian 202

Someone got a really bad headache today! Maybe I'll make them some cave moss tea.

[cherry-hearts]

Overseer's Log; 17th Granite 203:

The chief medical guy has started throwing parties. That is just NOT cool.



I mean, he should be healing guys, or something. He could at least be, like, on call in case something DID happen. But instead, he's dancing about and drinking, and he didn't even have the common decency to invite me. Maybe he's evil too.
Overseer's Log; 27th Granite 203:

I noticed that we were missing the anvils we needed to expand the forges as far as I wanted to, so I just, like, ordered some to be made.



Heh! And the colonel keeps telling me that I'm "wasting the metal supply on my pet projects." Can he not see that I'm actively maximizing production. In fact, now that the jeweler's shop and wood furnace are finished, I have put them both to work. Take that former bossman! I did something you couldn't.
Overseer's Log; 3rd Slate 203:

One of the soldier's has gotten really attached to his wooden shield.



I mean, like, it's just a shield bro. Get over it.
Overseer's Log; 4th Slate 203:

A while back, I went to the carpenter guys and was all "yo, we could use some bins." And now—guess what?—we have bins. Now we've been able to clear up all that junk in the stockpiles.



The new forges are also all finished.



I'm such a good bossman!
Overseer's Log; 10th Slate 203:

My counterfeit coins are all done!







The colonel still thinks it's a waste, but I didn't need to do anything, like, drastic, bro. All I had to do was tear out the old drawbridge and trade depot; now we have shiny gold ones!



Now I can cross "counterfeiting" off of my Criminal Mastermind Bucket List.
Overseer's Log; 11th Slate 203:

The broker came to me totally all sad, and he was all like: "Nobody knows my name" So I asked his name, and he said it was Crashmaster. Neat.



He was still pretty sad, so I offered him a smoke from my pipe. He asked if I really meant it, and I said "no," and took my pipe and ran.

Now I can cross "be a dick" off of my Criminal Mastermind Bucket List.
OOC: I dwarfed him as Whatshisname, idgaf.

[Splint]

And yet  nobody will remember the poor guy's name regardless.

Don't forget to relink the lever. Although Will say the gold depot does sound kinda kick ass... Should totally replace the walls and plate the floors in the depot room with gold. That'd sure as hell show off the fort's gold wealth.

I'm never gonna get that journally stuff done at this rate. :v

[ImagoDeo]

OOC: So, should I, or should I not, dwarf Crashmaster as Whatshisname?

Leave him an enigma.

Not to diminish your entries ImageoDeo, but I will correct some minor details.

I did in fact issue line armor for everyone. The main difference between melee and ranged line armor is that Melee armor is made for tanking hits with rigid stuff, and they actually have to get up close and personal with those nasty buggers. The marksdwarves are issued leather over chain armor and bucklers to cut down on weight while still providing decent enough protection from the nonspawn enemies (since encumbrance negatively affects Rate of Fire, and they won't use secondary weapons very reliably in this version in my experience.)

Pisskop and all the other marksdwarves still need thier leather body armor to go over the mail shirts and the chain leggings (the cloaks can slide since everyone seems to own at least one already.) They otherwise have everything else - bucklers, weapons, boots, helmets, and so-on. Note for cherry-hearts, the marksdwarves need thier metal pants and leather body armor.

The Cobalt Planks also share their training space with all the other squads still as far as I know, so you do get to see her and the baby fairly often (as of when I turned in my save your dwarf was in the barracks four tiles away in fact. )

And now for words of wisdom from Colonel Splint to all speardwarves: Aim for the chest. Ram your spear right into the center of those snapping maws, and the all-maker will show you how weak spawn really are against skilled warriors.

EDIT: And I better be at the forefront of any fighting. The Colonel will not rest on his laurels, he's going to lead by example damn it! Or at least try to as his lover keeps showing him up (damn you and your faster legs mikethete!)

Ok, I do need to change a few minor things in my entries, then. My dwarf was referring mostly to you taking the artifact greaves for yourself. He's still going to be quietly frustrated that they didn't go to pisskop. I'll fix the thing with training though.

[Splint]

-This is a cow leather bound journal. It is decorated with bands of bauxite and studded with brass. It is decorated with kestrel feathers. On the front cover is an image of an enclosed helm over crossed spears in billon. On the front cover is the phrase "Journal of Splint Silverypeaces."

There are several pages of entries pertaining to excitement over enlisting in his homeland's army, of various celebrations, a minecart accident killing his mother's pet cat, and a dwarf named "Sarge," upon whom he swears revenge for cutting a rope during a training exercise, killing four members of his training squad.-

12-15-200

Word's come down from he higher ups that The Monarch has decided to build a Border Fortress against the great enemy, and that I've been selected as part of the guard detail along with someone from another trainee squad. We're competent enough I guess, but I told Lieutenant Bannerspear that sending us was a bit... Well, retarded, to be perfectly honest, and asked if the General's been drinking enough lately.

She just told me that all she was told was to deliver the paperwork to me and the other guy.

12-16-200

Met the leader of the expedition. Has a big ol' Overseer's Logbook stuffed in a satchel. Not the most imposing sort, but since this isn't quite a military force, one can't really ask for a better leader than someone who looks somewhat cowardly.

12-26-200

Too many. Banshee raid party I think, though it may have just been some hunters out and about. Jeff said something about "bad vibes from this place" where we almost ran into them. Muttered something about the Fortress Guard back in the capital too, but I didn't catch it. Seems the man has a knack for knowing when bad things are due to happen, even if he seems a bit out of it most of the time. Could just be a tad clumsy though.



1-1-201

Was asleep in the Wagon when the axle gave out. According to the maps, we seem to be where we need to be. Might be off by a few miles or so though. No matter, we have ready access to the blood of the earth, which will make all our lives a million times easier.

The leader of our little mission is digging into the hillside right now, says something about the sky is giving him the creeps, and honestly? I'm inclined to agree. The damn sky has felt wrong since we entered the swamp a few weeks back.

1-24-201

Fuck. This. Place.

The sky seemed to come down like... Like some kind of fog bank. I didn't want to take any chances, and I told everyone to get the fuck inside and to forget anything else.

I... Whatever happened to those chimps, I pray never happens to a dwarf, because there was something deeply, deeply wrong with them after it rolled over them.

2-7-201

Can't say I care for Mr Frog's architectural skills. Winding tunnels make for slower wagon transit, and slower wagon transit means less time to trade. Not my place to judge right now though.

2-28-201

Slate's been thankfully quiet. Close calls with the cloud, but at least we have something resembling farms and a still. Plump Helmets aren't great, but the things are a staple food for a reason I guess...

3-28-201

The cloud caught more animals. Dingoes this time. What in the hell is in that cloud that causes life to turn into some bloated raging mockery of creation?

4-5-201

Been watching the dogs. They seem to stay apart long enough for them both to rest, but as soon as the sun comes up? Fucking monster goes right back to chasing the normal one.

4-20-201

We seem to be slowing getting something passable dug out here! Thanks mainly to the diligent efforts of our fine dig team. Things feel a tad cramped, but it's better than contending with The Cloud topside.

5-6-201

Parrots caught in The Cloud. damn things convulsed, bloated, turned on the unexposed ones... Ugh. Thank the gods those things stayed parrot-sized.

5-15-201

Migrants. Asked them why they came here and they said they'd heard of a frontier settlement where there'd be plentiful work. Someone lied to these people, but with all the refugees we met on the way here, can't say I'm shocked. Coulda sworn some head a military bearing about them though...

6-2-201

Thank the gods Mr Frog finished the disposal tunnel, those damned draft animals that starved last month started fouling up the place. You know, I'm sort of glad they died that way. Slow and horrible, but would dying in a body they don't recognize anymore be better?

... Sweet Vumom, did I just empathize with a fucking horse and a water buffalo? What the fuck is wrong with me, that shit's Elf talk!

6-20-201

Mr Frog almost freaked when he saw people milling around the old wagon. It's my own fault, I'm in charge of these people's safety and I didn't say anything about the wagon not being safe to socialize near, being open to The Cloud and all...

6-28-201

Pups born. According to the old tales, the humble war hound is the greatest embodiment of loyalty the dwarven people could ask for. Follow us to the ends of the earth, to the darkest depths, fight and die for us, and ask only for a little food and water in return. Fresh meat for the grinder, but loyal meat all the same. I just wish we could make them stronger...

7-1-201

Might have been a little too... Vivid describing what would happen if we didn't get proper kit and somewhere to train soon for our eventual militia. Everybody besides Mikethete sort of stared, and not in a good way.

Most definitely was too vivid. Shouldn't have taken the teachings to Vumom to heart so much...

7-6-201

MOTHER OF THE ALL-MAKER MAKE THE HANGOVER STOP.

7-24-201

I don't know how the fuck the dig teammanaged it, but they missed the caverns.

Head still pounding off and on.

Just want a mug of fucking water.

7-25-201

Finally have a barracks. Started training with Mikethete. She's fairly handy with a spear!

8-2-201

The Cloud came again. No wildlife caught this time.

8-17-201

Migrants. Two married couples: Pisskop and her Husband ImagoDeo, and Wolf and his wife Lizzy. I swear, ImagoDeo sounds very familiar...

8-25-201

Rakust is dead. At least judging by the screams and lack of a body she is. Should have said something... Safer breach procedure... Ugh...

Rakust's demise seems to be weighing heavily on Mr Frog. Can't say I blame him, those screams were... Well, those screams were fucking ghastly.

12-28-201

That's it. Several months since my last entry. Mr Frog is losing his shit, and I can't let him lead anymore. Tradition dictates Overseers serve one year stretches anyway, so if he complains I'll make quite sure he understands that.

1-1-202

Mr Frog's willingness to turn over command so quickly was... A little unnerving. No matter. Time to go to work. Will be a year before I likely return to this journal.

-There is, of course, a year long gap.-

1-1-203

If a disaster strikes, I will not be surprised in the slightest. Jef (he seems to insist it's spelled with one f, sort of how Mr frog is insistent there's no period after the Mr,) found the Overseer Log. Went pale when he showed it to me, but I'm not going to say a thing to him on that front.

So far he's abused his posting to build a pointless manor (which I hope the next overseer confiscates from him,) and waste silver on coins. The copper and gold though I can't really complain about. Not like we really need it. Maybe we can trick someone into bringing the coins to His Gaudiness? Bet that'd piss him off when some merchant tells him the coins were cheap knock-offs.

It'd serve that pompous git right for sending us this far away from the mountains.

Jef has had the good thought to put the clay whatshisname bought to use, so there's that, but I dunno if there's anyone who knows how to properly work a kiln. Ah well, I'm sure he can find someone to do it with some decency.

I wonder if any of the stuff would get a tin glaze? That'd be nice to see...

1-2-203

Well, he seems to be getting neglected industries going some. I admit I didn't quite devote as much time to commercial projects as I should have... We need someone to cut and set gems in our products, could do with more craftsdwarves to work stone, wood, or bone (be it for stuff to sell or to make training ammo for The Tan Caves,) and any clay items need to get a good glaze! Even if it isn't tin.

Plus we'll need ash to make lye anyway, since the hospital need soap for its use and we need some for general fortress use too. Should have a good sum of fat to make soap from, if people don't mind smelling like buffalo steak. I'll have to look and ask Noel to run those numbers by Jef.

1-25-203

Jef's certainly done a good job with getting the industrial aspects of the fort more fully up and running! I was a little annoyed that he replaced the bridge I had set up, but I have to admit, the new gold depot does look pretty kick ass...

I'm definitely going to see if I can talk him into plating the walls with gold just as a big "fuck you" to all the poor forts.

... Or maybe build a giant gold middle finger? That'd be pretty funny. Even a stone or lead one would be for that matter.


For the first time in ages, a journal for a succession fort!

Seems Jef's whole criminal "mastermind" thing might have some foundation on his good intuition (any good criminal needs that!) Actually pretty glad I wrote this crap, since I'm trying to dust off some cobwebs for a community game.

[cherry-hearts]

Overseer's Log; 2nd Felsite 203:

So, it's morning, and this group of migrants was just announced. They're justing marching towards the entrance. I think it's standard procedure or something to make a list, but screw that. I'm going back to bed. So long as these new dudes get to work ASAP, I'd say they're cool by my standards.
Overseer's Log; 4th Felsite 203:

This is NOT good dude! The migrants were still coming this morning, and one of those freaky clouds just drifted in. Most of them ran away in time, but not this one dude.





Okay, so I can't give this situation Jef's Totally Official Seal of Safety, but I CAN give this situation Jef's Totally Official Seal of Call the Military!



I've told all our soldiers to chill by the trade depot, just in case our freaky monster bro gets any ideas. I've also locked the door to the other exit, and I've asked the masons if they could, like, brick it off, just in case. The new gold drawbridge doesn't exactly work yet, so I've ordered that to be finished too. If this creature can get past all of our soldiers, I think it might be able to kill us all. Freaky, I know.
OOC: RNG has delivered us some fun; hopefully this won't escalate too much.

[Splint]

 If that dude's unarmed, full reaponse is a bit much. One or two melee guys should be more than sufficient to mercy kill that poor guy.

Best get a slab and casket ready...

[Taupe]

If that dude's unarmed, full reaponse is a bit much. One or two melee guys should be more than sufficient to mercy kill that poor guy.

Best get a slab and casket ready...

...Make the casket a size XL.

[Mr Frog]

Awwww yeee let the dwarf-on-dwarf violence finally begin

It shouldn't be that much trouble for the soldiers tbh; mutants are super-strong, but I don't think they can punch through armor and are unprotected themselves. If a woodcutter or (heaven forbid) a caravan guard gets gassed we're in quite a bit of trouble. My main concern is migrants getting punched to death.

[Taupe]

Awwww yeee let the dwarf-on-dwarf violence finally begin

It shouldn't be that much trouble for the soldiers tbh; mutants are super-strong, but I don't think they can punch through armor and are unprotected themselves. If a woodcutter or (heaven forbid) a caravan guard gets gassed we're in quite a bit of trouble. My main concern is migrants getting punched to death.

Well the migrants gotta learn about the local flavor one way or another...

[ImagoDeo]

a caravan guard

I just know this is going to happen on my turn, now. I'm doomed.

[cherry-hearts]

Overseer's Log; 8th Felsite 203:

I went up to the surface to check on our troops, cause they've been chilling by the depot for a few days now, and the colonel's all "you've gone overboard in your reaction to this situation" on my ass. It's like, I'm just trying to keep everyone as safe as possible. So I tell him, "If it's so safe, dude, go kill him yourself."



So, off he went with his spear. He was looked all mad and stuff, but I couldn't really tell because I had just taken a REALLY long toke.
Overseer's Log; 16th Felsite 203:

The colonel's been chasing the that freaky guy around for over a week now, cursing at him and making threats all the time. It kind of stopped being funny after, like, a day, so I've finally decided to call in the crossbow guys to slow the monster down a little.



Also, I forgot to mention this before, but one of our guys started acting funny and locked himself in a shop with a log, and now he's out with this cool-looking artifact.







Not the coolest thing I've ever seen, but that's okay.

There are also some elves that just sort of showed up.



I'm pretty sure there's a specific way I'm supposed to deal with these guys; I'll have to consult Urist's Field Guide for the Wary Wanderer.
Overseer's Log; 17th Felsite 203:

Guess what? My plan worked!





This calls for some smoking.

[Splint]

3-4-203

The Cloud finally got someone. Was only a matter of time.

Overseer's having a bit of a freakout though, because he had literally all of us on station.

3-17-203

Had enough of the waiting and told the Overseer so. Said he overreacted calling up literally everyone where one or two good soldiers would do against an unarmed bloated monster that used to be a dwarf. He said something along the lines of "If you're so sure about it, then you take care of it!" He kinda slurred it a bit, so he might've been a bit more sober than he should have.

So I did.

The fucker threw rocks at me, snarled, darted around like a damned crundle hopped up on elf stims, and managed to stay out of reach long enough I had to swallow my pride and ask the Overseer to get me some ranged support to take out his legs. Told me "No sweat, just head back out and I'll get you covered." (He was pretty lucid for a change.)

Sure enough during another round of chucked rocks, obscenities, and chasing, The Tan Caves crested the hill I was chasing the poor bastard up and put two volleys into him! Honestly when The Caves didn't show up an hour after, I thought he'd forgotten to send them up; but he pulled through. Once the mutant went down, it was easy. One shot, right through the head.

Thanked Pisskop and her squad for the help, and the Overseer for sending'em out, but I still busted Pisskop's balls for missing the head. I mean she brained a moving owl mutant once after all.

Wish it hadn't needed to be done, but at least it ended quickly for the unfortunate (more or less.)


Do note things I say outside of my journals should not be taken to entirely reflect my dwarf's words. Most of my complaints are just my misguided griping for the most part, much of it stemming from "SPAWN WILL KILL US IF WE ARENT PREPARED."

[cherry-hearts]

Overseer's Log; 22nd Felsite 203:

What a day! I finally got around to dealing with those elves who were hanging out at the depot today. I grabbed my copy of Urist's Field Guide and asked the colonel if I could borrow his crossbow guys. He was all, "Good thinking bro! It's always good to have some security present during trade." So I reached the depot and had all the troops line up behind me. Then one of the elves, she was all: "We're here to trade with you noble dwarves." I was all, "Just a minute bitch." I opened up the field guide, and read what it said.

"…[T]hey are not allowed within city limits without an escort…"

There it was in black-and-white, dude. All I needed to do was, like, read a tiny part of the first sentence I saw to realize that these guys are bad news. So I dropped my field guide and started reading the speech I had written on my arm just in case I had to do something like this.

I was all, "You dudes have trespassed on our territory, and in the name of Queen Datan Chewlance, Queen Urvad Fortressvoiced, and His Gaudiness King Erib Catchtowns, I sentence you all to death. (The elves started looking concerned at this point.) The path of the righteous dwarves is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil dudes. Blessed are we who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherd the weak through the valley of the darkness, for we are truly our bro's keeper and the finder of lost children. And we will strike down upon you dudes with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy our brothers. (Then I raised my other arm and all of the crossbow guys loaded and aimed together; it was really neat and I'm pretty sure that the lady elf shit herself.) And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you!" (I worked all night on that speech so I hope it's good.)



Then I, like, brought down my arm and the crossbow guys all fired.



Then I gave all the broskis with crossbows high-fives for a job well done; things could have REALLY gone to shit had I not been prepared. Then I picked out the stuff that we would throw into the volcano and which stuff we would save. Afterwards, I congratulated myself by tearing a bit of cloth of the the elves' clothing and stuffed it into my pipe to smoke; they make their clothing out of the good stuff.

Then suddenly the colonel, the broker, the manager, and that Ribbon dwarf came up and looked, like, really shocked. I thought they were at a loss for words regarding the great job I did at protecting the fort from invaders, but then I realized that they were jealous that I wasn't sharing and I gave them each a piece of cloth of their own.

I think I can cross "order a purge" off of my Criminal Mastermind Bucket List now.

[Splint]

That speech was genuinely amusing. Kudos.

Death to all Friends of Nature!