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[The Gentleman]

      So I was bored, and I decided to play Dwarf Fortress and post the game onto the internets. This is my first LP ever, so be aware that I'll probably screw everything up, forget to take screenshots of pivotal moments, and other such noob mistakes. Feedback is appreciated, and I hope that someone enjoys my ramblings. Here is the (probably brief) tale of Gadoc Tummyblaze, human halberdier.

Here's the world I generated (or not, if I've screwed up the picture uploading):



Character creation!

Yes, I play demigod. Yes, I'm a wuss. Yes, this is very poorly laid out.





Next: I actually play the game!

[JayThePro]

Lol stay alive....

(
Become a necromancer
Become a necromancer
Become a necromancer
)

[vjmdhzgr]

Why did you get shield user if you're going to be a halberdier? Halberds are two handed.

[The Gentleman]

@JayThePro: I was planning on becoming a vampire first, so I can not have to kill all the zombies around the tower.
@vjmdhzgr: Don't two-handed things become One-handed if one has the "is incredibly muscular" description (which I will have due to Superior strength)?

[The Gentleman]

`   Risas damn me, how much did I drink last night? I wake up in some tiny hovel with a pounding headache, and apparently I've "pledged my life in service" to the lord of this sty.

   I would tell him to piss off and get me some water, but he seems to be surrounded by a great number of other poor sods who got shanghaied into this (notably very well-armed poor sods). So, grumbling, I say to him:
   “Whaddaya want?”
   “As your lord, I command you to slay the vampire Lega Embracedcrab!” He replies.
   “Piss off, bloody idiot.” He doesn't seem to catch my meaning.
   “Hey Urist? Where did you say that vampire was?” He runs off to quibble with some subordinate of his, then yells back at me:
   “A short walk to the northwest!” I flinch at the sound. Well, that's a chance to ditch this ditz as soon as I can. But first, I take a nap.
         
        When I awaken, much refreshed, I remember the unfortunate predicament I'm in. Nonetheless, a vampire is indeed a great menace to the people of wherever-the-hell-I-am, so I'll kill this thing and never look back to this little hellhole.
   On my way out, I see two guards that might be persuaded to do some do-goody crusading. I could do with some backup, so I put on my best "not an insane, power-obsessed madman" face and approach them.
   “Hail, good sirs! I am Gadoc Uramarsi, a soldier in the service of your lord. I've been tasked with killing a vile creature of the night in his glory. I should like to know if you would join me.”

   “Right! Let's go! Right now!”  One says, a man holding a spear. “For the lord's glory, of course.” He adds, rather loudly. Then rather quietly, "Not in his glory at all."


   “I don't know, Kas.” The other says, a bowwoman. “We've duties here.”
   “Vampires are very dangerous foes, miss. Your aid could save many lives.”
   "I've sworn myself to protect Lord Mansionvision." She said.
   "He seems to have plenty of guards. We're working for the greater good! Killing monsters, saving villagers, combating evil, the works."
   "But..."
   “Come on, Tikes." Her friend jumps in. "We could actually help people instead of standing here all day. Isn't that what you signed up for, anyway?"
         She sighed, resigned, and falls in behind us.

   
   

   So we walk to the northwest, and in the process find a mead hall that may actually deserve to be called a mead hall! The first order of operations is to steal a ton of equipment from them. I quickly equip myself with all the random pieces of armor lying around I can find. Why does no-one seem to care when I take all their stuff?

Damn it feels good to have a halberd in my hands again.

   So we continue on our journey (stroll) to a faraway land (the nearest village) to find a fearsome vampire (excuse to leave the simpering lord in the dust). Eventually (ten minutes later) we arrive at Enterthin, where this vampire supposedly resides. We ask around town for where he might be.




   Until...

   Aha! Vile fiend! I shall slay you where you stand!

   

[a smiling bearded cretin]

Playing demigod really means you are saying No to Austerity.

Jocularity aside, the common myth of difficulty should be dispelled.

The truth is playing demigod just means you have a wider menu of opponents at the start. Every tier below just scales that selection down.

Imagining that peasant plays under different game mechanics/physics perhaps is part of the notion that peasant is more difficult, and it is not. Just like in PvP, narrative always gives way to mechanics.

One question I ask. Will you drink the blood after this fight? Or much, much later?

[The Gentleman]

I'm actually a little conflicted as to how I'm going to proceed with this. First, I've noticed that in the past the vampires run away rather than stay and fight. Second, villagers nearby will often come to the aid of the vampire in combat, even after it has been revealed as a creature of the night. Are there any workarounds to these problems?

[a smiling bearded cretin]

At this time no. Passivity, loyalty and whatnot were not sorted. Unknown as to when.

You can ignore the loyalty allegiance issues and just kill this villager who also happens to be a vampire and be labeled a murder. You can also strike down those who would aid this person, since they in this case now oppose you. This road leads one way.

Or you can ignore the acts of this well-liked villager, and seek out beasts (semi-megabeasts, night trolls, megabeasts etc) and simply kill those creatures and be met with a casual indifference once you relate your exploits.

[vjmdhzgr]

@JayThePro: I was planning on becoming a vampire first, so I can not have to kill all the zombies around the tower.
@vjmdhzgr: Don't two-handed things become One-handed if one has the "is incredibly muscular" description (which I will have due to Superior strength)?

No. The amount of hands needed to properly wield a weapon is based off of creature size. You can't increase your size, so you can't change that. Some humans could potentially wield halberds one handed, but they'd need to be very big, and an adventurer is just as likely to be very big as they are to be very small, so you're probably not using a halberds one handed.

[cdru]

@JayThePro: I was planning on becoming a vampire first, so I can not have to kill all the zombies around the tower.
@vjmdhzgr: Don't two-handed things become One-handed if one has the "is incredibly muscular" description (which I will have due to Superior strength)?

No. The amount of hands needed to properly wield a weapon is based off of creature size. You can't increase your size, so you can't change that. Some humans could potentially wield halberds one handed, but they'd need to be very big, and an adventurer is just as likely to be very big as they are to be very small, so you're probably not using a halberds one handed.

Accuracy penalty isn't big trouble for skilled adventurers.

[Rumrusher]

there also the bit where vampires being longer lived than most villagers(in that villagers are filler and are created on the spot and have no historical data on them they are talking tame animals.) might have seen and will give out monster quests since their just as old as those legendary beasts. then there's the whole insurgents keeps killing the lords who put out bounties on peoples heads causing any chance of a town to care about any crime outside of name value.

[The Gentleman]

   I don't say that, of course. Vampires are dangerous foes, fleet of foot and of great power.


   I instead ask for her hospitality for the night, which she, like a fool, immediately grants me.

   (Yes, the vampire was a woman. I had her misgendered the whole time.)
   I then begin a rigorous training routine consisting of picking up rocks and leaves and throwing them at the ground.


   On the morrow I shall begin my search for wildlife to wrestle.



   Well, that was more peaceful than expected. I was worried I'd wake up without any blood left in me. Time for breakfast and- Ulhp!

   Dammit, what asshole packed my rations? How can bug brains provide any nutrition at all? No matter, if today goes well I'll have more than enough real meat for a month. We travel to a nearby forest so that I may practise breaking limbs to stop the bloodsucker from fleeing.   




   Perfect! My tracking skills have served me well. I approach stealthily, and...

   Expertly grab it! And then stab it. And then have my allies riddle it with arrows.

   The continues forward, and they kill half the pack (flock?) of ostriches, while I ineffectually try to lock hips and knees.

        One of the birds gets a lucky kick in:

   After my ostrich warm-up I move on to warthogs, which I kill by throwing pebbles.

   That was all me, man! All me! You didn't do anything!

   Other wildlife that falls prey to us include vultures:

   Falcons:
   
   And weasels:
   
   I think this has been a productive morning! Maybe I'll go for a swim now?

   On the way to the river for a midday swim, I meet a maceman wandering about the plains alone! I ask him what his purpose here is, to which he responds:

   I wish him good fortune in his travels and continue on my way. Soon we reach the river, and I eagerly jump in. Ah, to swim in full plate!




   By now it nears evening, so we return to the residence of the vampire. She gives us another night of shelter, which I suspect she will regret. I say my prayers to Risas and bed down for the night after a hearty meal of actual meat.

   When I wake in the middle of the night, I see that she does not sleep; a damning piece of evidence. I finally take it upon myself to rid The Steppes of Deterioration of this cursed fiend!


With that, the battle is joined!

   First I grab her legs and snap them at the hip with ease, knocking her over.

   I try to stab at her with my halberd, but she parried deftly with a small knife.

   So, I grab her hand and break her her wrist.

   And then behead her in a single swing.

   No-one else in the cottage woke up through all this. As such, we sneak out with nobody the wiser, at least until morning. With justice served, we fade into the night.


   

[The Gentleman]

        Another chapter in his Gadoc's legendary career! I'll try to update every day or two until he dies or I get bored. Here's the stat block:



   And kills:

   Any suggestions as to what I should do next?

[a smiling bearded cretin]

Raid a hamlet in the name of your lord or in the name of yourself if you are ambitious.

Solo some night trolls, but do so without the powerleveling. No need for PEDs.

Become a sellsword.

[endlessblaze]

drink the blood. become vampire.