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[RPB]

A couple months ago my mason produced an artifact he dubbed Milolser Lashed: The Messianic Head of Prophets. Which is strangely coherent for an artifact name.

And what exactly is The Messianic Head of Prophets? It's... a coffer. "The Messianic Head of Prophets" is, indeed, a coin chest. I can only assume that this is some sort of profound dwarven commentary on the nature of organized religion.

Runner up would be Weightwaved the Legendary Magical Executions, a bronze shortsword. I'm not sure what "weightwaved" is all about, but a sword whose title is about executions? Badass.

[Gaulgath]

"Clobberland," an artifact copper spear. Yes, you can clobber things with spears!

[Mechanoid]

The phrase "It is named item!" comes to mind whenever i read dwarven artifacts.

Just recently in Cobrasabres a Jewler i have which was beaten by the sheriff for disobeying a mandate somehow made a artifact, despite being unconcious from a painful red arm. A clear diamond crown made from a single rough clear diamond. "The Tusks of Frenzy"
Oddly, there are no images of elephants on it.

Another is "Whispertreaty" a copper high boot. Silent ass-kicking? Maybe. Now, i wonder when the dwarf drops it, if i could get it onto one of my military dwarves...  

[Asehujiko]

Thatsa coincidence, i recenty abandoned a fort caled speachtreaties.

[Slanted]

I've actually had a run of artifact names that make sense in Trenchsmiths.

We have "Nettleslayer" a copper axe with engravings of trees and elves. I'm assuming it's supposed to be a big "Screw You" to the elves.

"Boatscudgel" the hammer and "Eatsaint" the Prepared Food Barrel.

On the other hand I also have "Noblewonders the High Fungus of Angels" and "Violentcrush the Silent Untoward Silkiness of Paint"

 

quote:Thatsa coincidence, i recenty abandoned a fort caled speachtreaties.  

Clearly the only proper way to play that fortress would have been to invite everyone in and butcher them horribly.

[ August 13, 2007: Message edited by: Slanted ]

[utunnels]

If you want to see those strange names, just have some engraves.

e.g.
The Silent Breakfast-River of Spasms
The Tear of Warriors, Yeah, I like this name, but it is about a cave spider.

[Lightning4]

quote:Originally posted by utunnels:
<STRONG>If you want to see those strange names, just have some engraves.

e.g.
The Silent Breakfast-River of Spasms
The Tear of Warriors, Yeah, I like this name, but it is about a cave spider.</STRONG>

Maybe it's supposed to be of the giant variety...

[Asehujiko]

The Violent Spasms, engraving
A superior image of dwarves laboring.

I don't know if that's about a mood or a small hint at the quality of work they deliver usualy...

The Genius Hill, random region
If only it contained more then sand.

The Burning Spike, mountain range
Too bad all the start locations there sucked. I went for the Lush Points of Youth.

[RPB]

Oh god, it gets better. Ok, so not only did my mason create a coin coffer and dub it "The Messianiac Head of Prophets" in a cynical commentary on the commercial nature of most religion, but I was just browsing the engravings in my new crypts and found one of them was an engraving recording the creation of the artifact. The name of the picture is "The Pig of Will", further criticizing the perceived greed surrounding religious figures. Or is it a rebuttal of the mason's work, suggesting that the mason's criticisms of religion stem from his own blind avarice and jealousy?

Man, this is all getting way too deep. My dwarves are supposed to be slaving away industriously, not engaging in critical commentary. Frankly I blame my philosopher for corrupting them with his new ideas.

Sodel Eturner, Philosopher cancels Harvest Plants: Drinking hemlock.

[Tamren]

The cooled artiface name i have ever seen was poster a while back by someone else. It was an adamantine longsword named "the haunting whispers of forgotten dead".

The funnyest artifact i have seen was a felsite thong. Yeah....  :eek:

Apt? lemme think, i guess the most apt name would have been this artifact mace named "freecudgels". I guess thats a euphamism for "free beatings". Oddly enough i later founded a fortress with the same name.

[Ltheb]

My all time favorite: Timesouls, the Royal Sullen Staff of Crazyness, a Mule-Bone Scepter. I don't think it had anything special about it other than it might have menaced with spikes of dolomite or something. The name explains the fortress well.
"Yea, you think you have it rough? Our Mayor wields a staff made from the bones of my dead pet mule Fluffy and claims it has magical powers over sanity. I'd kill 'em m'self, but I lost both arms wrestling Ogres for his amusement..."

[ September 07, 2007: Message edited by: Ltheb ]

[BurnedToast]

I'm not sure if it is exactly right, it was a few fortresses ago, but I had 'The Lucid coils of control' which was... an onyx floodgate. Ironic, considering I regularly use floodgates to control my noble population  

[kuro_suna]

i got severedback, a 400 pound schist floodgate that my mason has been hauling around for two and a half years

[Salkin]

I thought this was pretty apt. One of my metalsmiths just created this whilst in a fey mood.

[Matias]

I had a "Dreamy wisp of drooling", it had a picture of dwarf melting...

-Matias