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[Spehss _]

Public feeding tubes. For those too indecisive, too intoxicated or too stupid to eat at a normal restaurant without causing undue hassle for staff and fellow patrons, there should be public feeding tubes which dispense a room-temperature slurry of sugar, oats and beef stock. The model can be scaled up and down, from individual home units to an entire wall with dozens of mechanical teats servicing hundreds of barely-functional would-be customers a day. Think of the savings for restaurant owners; instead of many specialized employees, you simply need one civic servant to keep it stocked and shoo people away if they start hogging a tube!

You could have it dispense soylent! You could even include signs assuring people that soylent is not real people.

[Bohandas]

Lose weight and lower cholesterol by surgically creating a port to drain the bile out of your gallbladder (thus causing the body to use up cholesterol to replace the drained bile, as well as interfering with the absorption of fats).

EDIT:
IIRC there actually is a surgical procedure like this out there, but unfortunately it was invented by quack vetrinarians for use in bears, so it's not really helpful to me

[Telgin]

It also completely removes your ability to put off the need to poop, if my mom and grandma are any indication.  They had their gallbladders removed at various points and frequently complain about how they have had very little warning and no negotiation in the matter ever since.

[Eric Blank]

Anti-laxatives, for those of us who must not poop.

[Itnetlolor]

Anti-laxatives, for those of us who must not poop.

Anti-laxatives, for when you want to shit bricks.

[wierd]

You laugh, but such things actually exist.

[Yoink]

Smoking a huge, grimy rug seems very confusing when coming from Yonk. The kawaii effect is strong.

I live to confuse.


New Dumb Idea: Wearing zebra-print tights under my favourite pair of jeans, so the stripes would be visible through the holes.

[Bohandas]

Anti-laxatives, for those of us who must not poop.

Anti-laxatives, for when you want to shit bricks.

You laugh, but such things actually exist.

Yeah. That's just Immodium.

[Eric Blank]

Sailing boat drone/robot. Just a tiny boat with a tiny mast and a windmill atop it that charges the batteries, and a wee little prop just to move under its own power. Can throw a radio controller, video camera, itty bitty sonar recorder or something on it. Totally wouldn't get stolen by drunk teenagers, mauled by otters, or become a luxury turtle sunbathing platform and eventually flip over and get stuck on a twig. Nope.

[wierd]

Along these(^) lines:

Combination tritium illumination+solar panel inside sealed canister, with diveplanes. and electrohydrodynamic propulsion on a drone submarine.

(Or, if the idea (^ using tritium decay with a phosphor layer to produce photons to then absorb with a solar cell collector to make a miniature "nuclear sub") is just too dumb for you, just make the body of the submarine drone out of naked dissimilar metals (say, zinc and copper), so that the skin of the sub acts like a primary battery when in the salt water.)

[Eric Blank]

So, what? It would produce electricity as the current washes across the hull?

[wierd]

No, it has solid state power generation that lasts for 25 years (in the former), or for at least several months (in the latter), with no moving parts for propulsion.

[MonkeyHead]

Air fresheners that work by driven convection currents. All you would need is some kind of perfume that would evaporate, held in a container you would hook onto a radiator. What could possibly go wrong?

[Bohandas]

It also completely removes your ability to put off the need to poop, if my mom and grandma are any indication.  They had their gallbladders removed at various points and frequently complain about how they have had very little warning and no negotiation in the matter ever since.

Now that I think of it, these are actually two distinct things. Gallbladder removal drains bile constantly into the intestines, whereas my proposal would drain it somewhere outside the body

[Spehss _]

Along these(^) lines:

Combination tritium illumination+solar panel inside sealed canister, with diveplanes. and electrohydrodynamic propulsion on a drone submarine.

(Or, if the idea (^ using tritium decay with a phosphor layer to produce photons to then absorb with a solar cell collector to make a miniature "nuclear sub") is just too dumb for you, just make the body of the submarine drone out of naked dissimilar metals (say, zinc and copper), so that the skin of the sub acts like a primary battery when in the salt water.)

Wonder if we could add a camera and use 'em to autonomously explore the unplumbed depths of the ocean.