Summer update 2 -- CactuspageOk, so, seems like our soldiers have all but been killed by a very scary ogre. We named the Ogre Bankghost because
dwarven logic y'all! Our greatest hero, the military dude Other Senshuken, has been sort of pulped by a kick to da face, which is very dangerous when it comes from a creature that's 12 feet tall. And you are wearing
no clothes.All is fine, tho, for one of the soldiers is still alive (altho lost). Iamblichos has seen some serious shit, and is now fucking traumatised. To save her from certain peril, her husband TheCheeseMaker has volunteered to join the army!
''Wait I
what?-Shuttup and go help your wife!''
So, to help Iamblichos and her husband, I've also enrolled our farmers into the military. Except me of course because I,m blind. So Arkarn of House Cactuspage will now be defending his twelve children from the ogre, and so will his beloved New Senshuken...
-But that's not even my...
-I DONT CARE YOU'RE A SOLDIER NOW.
Good luck to you all. I applaud your sacrifice!
Arkarn is the first to meet the beast, who is still stumbling into the staircase, blind as it is. Behind it, a few levels below, lies the body of Other Senshuken, naked and splattered. Arkarn dodges marvelously every blow thrown at him by the ogre. He's a ranger, and he's done it before. He've already defeated a wild boar before, and this is...
sort of the same...? Anyway he's doing a great job, and buys enough time for his two friends to join the fray!
The ogre gets a bit touchy-feely with Arkarn, but that's ok because his wife helps him out by throwing very innefective punches at the monster. Oh did i mention all our weapons are either two caverns below, or locked outside dissolved by infernal dust? cause they totally are! But the might of three mighty wrestler is now combined, and they each have
minutes of experience under their belt now!
Punches! Dodges! Barrel rolls! Excitement!
Everybody was kung fu fighting.
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening!But they fought with expert timing!
Pictured:
-Arkran to the right, a ranger with a fancy feathered hat, doing dodge rolls.
-On top, New Senshuken, grappling the monster and trying to punch his face
-TheCheeseMaker, to the left a fat and bald dwarf with awesome kung fu sidebruns, wearing a purple sweater, trying to pummel the monster's toes.
* * * * *
The battle rages on for a while, and I'm afraid they'll die. Then I remember that Arkarn fights not only to defend his children, but also to avenge his fallen brother Astesh, who was killed in the caverns by Bankghost a few hours prior. Arkarn and Astesh are from a huge family of 15 children, all sons and daughter to Sir Cactuspage, which I assume is a very virile man.
Ol' mom died a few years ago, but sir Cactuspage is still alive and kicking in Councelledbolts. The man is quite a badass, having enrolled as a mercenary when he was 90, and surviving to this day, 70 years later. The dude is now 140 years old, and he's left quite a legacy behind him. House Cactuspage is large and well-known. Twelve of his children still live, down from 13 like this morning. (oups). Many of them have children of their own, who in turn have children themselves.
In fact, the fort counts 5 living Cactuspage as we speak. Arkarn is one of them, and so are two of his youngest children, age 7 and ten, too small to live on their own when arkarn and New Senshuken moved to Immortalpillar earlier this spring. Eruth is Astesh's son, and his own youngling inhabits the fortress as well. I haven,t browsed all the profiles and data from legend mode, only catching the most obvious. some of them may be great grandchild of the old man Kivish, and thus don't register Arkarn in their relative page. Will try to browse for more matches before the turn is over...
While in legend mode, I take a look at the royal family, just to see if they enterwine with House Cactuspage along the line. I find that our king, Kib Tongshole, is also the sire of a rather large family, with 11 children! However, unlike the cactuspages, the royal bloodline has a nice habit of suffering ... bad things. most of them are dead by now, and not of old fucking age let me tell you.
Ezum, the oldest son, died at the tender age of 8, when a group of Narrow Man attacked the civilisation. Edzul himself survived, but then a wyvern known as Sol Ravenslayer the Glorious post of gates showed up, and just... ate the heir apparent. Woopsie daisie!
His younger sister did not survive the Narrow Man attack (which i assume is a night creature?) The second son died at the age of one, when the mate of the Narrow Man returned for a snack. Somehow I get the feeling that the capital is not much cooler than Immortalitytowers.
the third son also died to a wyvern, but a year prior to his eldest brother, suggesting that wyvern slaughter-parties are a frequent social event in the capital. Yay for the higher class!
and then we have the current heir to the throne, alath, fourth child of the king. The lucky bastard survived three different attacks by the narrow man, and then spent 50 years doing push ups and musculation as a pump operator. he emerged as the strongest and beefiest dwarf known to the multiverse, claiming the title of militia commander.
Alath had three children. The eldest son is alive, albeit unremarkable. Same for his brother, who became a lowly brewer.
his eldest daughter, on the other hand, tried to avenge the death of her relatives by becoming a monster slayer. She probably was also motivated by the attack she herself suffered as a kid, by narrow men. She made it her life goal to track and destroy a mighty Landwyrm. That ended up as smooth as you can guess.
* * * * * *
Hope you weren't sleeping! I was just remembering a bit of my history lessons, while everyone in the caverns is busy bruising our foe inneficiently. boy, look at the way I talk! I almost sound... non-dumb. Ugh, I have been getting sober! Obviously this is a defensive mechanism meant to help me think clearer for a short time, for the purpose of re-establish the booze industry!
Anyway, you didn't miss much. Iamblichos joined the battle at last. The ogre eventually fell down, under the weight of pain and exhaustion, and our team of dwarves is busy stomping on his inert body like morons. it looks a bit like this:
Soon, i tell myself, they will score a great hit. Or maybe the combined effect of all those bruisings will keep the beast down for the count. But then...
bankghost is back on his (or her?) feet, after a nap of basically three days! With renewed strenght, it grabs Arkarn, and fling him about. the marksdwarf land painfully, and the troll chains up an attack, punching the defenseless dwarf in the face as he lay down. The head explode into gore, and the body is propelled by the force of the blow, bouncing off a wall and landing on the ground. A pile of gore and blood now lies on the ground, leaking blood as the fight wages on in the background.
Arkarn Cactuspage is no more...
* * * * * *
Who likes Shoot the Dog stories?
I do!
But anyway, yes i did write a full update on essentially one dwarf getting exploded. (which frankly is slowly becoming my artistic forte... oh fuck I forgot skull bits! Mostly i found this big family, and i wanted to learn more about the dwarves that were in the fight, in case they died. I wanted the fight and the deaths to have meaning. At the same time i figured, hey let,s take a look at the royal family and shit. boy oh boy, Deus Asmoth, what the hell kind of world did you generate? the capital is constantly slaughtered by wyverns and Narrow man (I'm picturing slender men murdering people left and right), elves, humans and also dark dwarves want us dead, I,m expecting terrible forgotten beasts sooner than later, and that's without the inclusion of zombie sieges. Oh, and the weather is deadly in two different and combo-rific ways.
to quote a wise man, ''I hate literally everything''
I have more events and great moments in the bank (the bankghost ar ar ar) but they'll have to wait, as I've been working today and didn,t really sleep much. I,m a bit too fucking wrecked to make more drawings, and without them what's the point? I feel that a collection of pixelated and gory scenes of death dwarves fit the mood of this fortress quite well, so I wanna keep including them.