WARNING: The scope of this game is narrower than that of real life. We have attempted to include foul language, graphic violence, politics, religion, sexual references, adult situations, narcotics, prostitution, bodily functions and bad pickup lines, but Bay 12 Games recognizes that there might be omissions which will make some players uncomfortable. In light of these facts, use your discretion when making decisions about reading this Let's Play.Liberal Crime Squad, for the uninitiated, is a game based on 1983 roguelike Oubliette, developed by Tarn Adams until 2004, and which later continued development under the Bay12 community. It is, in essence, a parody of politics in the form of a game. You play as an
Elite Liberal terrorist cell leader revolutionary on a mission to stop
Arch-Conservative influences on the United States. You must do this in the most end-justifies-the-means manner possible by committing a range of crimes, from treason, to murder, to kidnapping, to disturbing the peace, all in the name of the
Liberal Cause.
To put it simply:
The LCS advocates total gun control, and will shoot anyone who disagrees.
You win when all the laws and most of the politicians of the country are
Elite Liberal and lose when either your founder dies and there's nobody to take up the reins or in the rare instance that the
Conservatives manage to pass an
Arch-Conservative Amendment and rewrite the Constitution.
The particular flavor of LCS this Let's Play will be using is
Elite Developer Johnathan S. Fox's mod,
National LCS, which modifies the main game by allowing the Liberal Crime Squad to travel to multiple cities in the country ─ Seattle, Los Angeles, New York City, and Washington, D.C. ─ which makes for more varied gameplay. It also makes changes such as having special game-win text and by making most of the regular blue text in the game cyan, which is easier on the eyes on a black background, and adding ASCII cutscenes for some game events, such as
a news channel hiring a new anchor.
We need a slogan!
January 1st, 2009
11:06 AM
Simmons Apartments, Seattle, Washington
Liberalism is all but forgotten. Over a third of Congress is taken up by CEOs. The death sentence awaits anybody convicted of any crime. There is no weekend, and child labor has been reinstated for the first time since the Gilded Age. Anybody who voices their own opinion is arrested. Machine guns can be bought at the department store. There are conservative majorities in all branches of government, and
President Roger Skirrow, former CEO of the Scardino Corporation, has brought about a dark age of the country. His
arch-conservative political agenda is topped with writing in a constitutional amendment to rewrite the constitution as he sees fit, and if nobody does anything to stop it, then the country as we know it may end...
Heart: 8 [This is how liberal the character is. It changes interactions with some people when high enough. It is important for Art and Music. This character won't need those.]
Intelligence: 13 [This is how smart the character is. It's good to have high, because it impacts some of the most important skills: Writing for newspaper articles, Computers for hacking, Law for getting free juice and not getting convicted, Security for picking locks, and Tailoring for free clothes.]
Wisdom: 1 [This is how conservative the character is. It's best to keep low in case you get jailed and try to get rehabilitated.]
Health: 6 [This affects how hard it is to kill you, if memory serves.]
Agility: 5 [This is really important for combat and handy for driving.]
Strength: 4 [This is important for hand-to-hand combat.]
Charisma: 6 [I really should have cranked this up higher, because you need it for Persuasion. It's also used for Seduction, which is handy, and Disguise, which is a necessity for infiltration.]
Terry Tenpenny is an androgynous college student living in Seattle, Washington. Terry leans further to the
left than somebody who just lost their
left leg, and Terry is greatly disturbed by the movement the country is taking. Terry is determined to stop it.
Late one night, presumably after a binge on
pirated Michael Moore films, Terry finally goes over the edge. Terry decides that they're going to demolish
Roger Skirrow's government and everything it stands for. Terry decides that "Terry" isn't good enough of a name for the one who's going to save the country. Terry takes a new name... one to stand for freedom.
Having also binged on anime last night, Terry decides on Hidari, which Google Translate tells them means
"left" in Japanese. Entirely different from
"left-wing" or
"liberal", but
left all the same.
Hidari then heads out to the
Harmonious Plan Juice Bar to meet fellow Elite Liberals. Hidari befriends 5 hippies and a retiree at the Juice Bar and recruits them to the cause. As Hidari needs to pay the rent, xe sends some of the more computer-oriented hippies to a warehouse in the industrial district of town to steal peoples' credit card numbers. Illegal, but it pays off. The end justifies the means!
Subsequently, Hidari ventures with the retiree, who looks very promising, to
Simmons Pawn and Gun. Pawn shops are handy, because they always have spray paint, knives, shotguns, and crowbars, plus you can sell stuff there. Hidari only needs one thing, though: spray paint.
In LCS, spray paint is your best friend. You can raise awareness, get Juice (sort of like experience points), and shut down sites with spray paint. Spray paint is a great way to get through the early part of the game, and throughout the game it remains a nonviolent way to raise awareness at sites that don't have other things you can use to raise awareness, like factory machinery or science lab cages.
While at the pawn shop, Hidari sees the illogical
Conservative thought that submachine guns ─ guns whose entire purpose are to mow down crowds of people ─ can be sold to civilians. But that's not why xe's here. Hidari is here for paint.
Hidari goes to the Firemen HQ, a place of Conservative suppression of free thought and speech. The Firemen, straight out of Fahrenheit 451, have the duty of suppressing any and all free speech. Because of this, our first target law to Liberalize is free speech, because until it's at least a mere
Conservative rather than
Arch-Conservative, anybody who tries to write our own newspaper will get arrested and the place they're at gets burned down. Bad stuff.
Over the next few days, Hidari goes to various places and vandalizes them vigorously to spread their message. Xe thoroughly graffitis the hallways of the Firemen HQ to spread xyr message about free speech. Hidari, in the process, rises from being a mere Activist to becoming a Socialist Threat. Hidari grows in strength!
Heart: 10
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 1
Health: 8
Agility: 7
Strength: 6
Charisma: 8
Hidari, now able to recruit another person, decides to find somebody useful. In case anybody gets arrested, Hidari needs to be able to keep xyr crew out of jail, so Hidari goes out and finds a lawyer. Upon arriving at the Courthouse, Hidari finds that the courthouse is no longer a mere courthouse; now, it is known as the Halls of Supreme Judgement, where every ringing out of a gavel decides whether somebody lives or dies. Eventually, Hidari finds a man known as Nicky Bendix, and successfully gets him to join the crew.
Hidari spends the next few days hacking while hiding out in a warehouse, trying to raise money to buy a printing press. It's not exactly the best idea with free speech laws as-is, but having a newspaper is incredibly important. During this period, the nation's attention is brought to racial inequality when a black man is beaten by a police officer, which is caught on camera.
Hidari's 1337 h4xx0r1ng 5k1775 make them a revolutionary! The skill gained from h4xx0r1ng should help their cr34t1v3 p0w3r5 when the newspaper starts printing.
Heart: 12
Intelligence: 18
Wisdom: 1
Health: 10
Agility: 9
Strength: 7
Charisma: 10
Hidari buys the printing press and quickly begins publishing the dark secrets of corporations and the
Conservative Media. Public opinion quickly begins swaying.
And then the firemen showed up.
President: Roger Skirrow
Vice President: Jesse Weeks
Secretary of State: Steve LaSaga
Attorney General: Mike Brownlee
House: 10 Elite Liberals, 25 Liberals, 50 Moderates, 130 Conservatives, 220 Arch-Conservatives
Senate: 3 Elite Liberals, 17 Elite Liberals, 10 Moderates, 15 Conservatives, 55 Arch-Conservatives
Supreme Court: Juliana Yamaguchi, Ryan Valdez, Malcolm Suiter, Grace Falco, Noah Nicolle, Billy Storm, Grace Tippett, Graham Roylance, Paige Pendergrass
Abortion Rights
<----O>
Animal Rights
<----O>
Police Regulation
<----O>
Privacy Rights
<----O>
Death Penalty
<----O>
Nuclear Power
<----O>
Pollution
<----O>
Labor Laws
<----O>
Gay Rights
<----O>
Corporate Law
<----O>
Free Speech
<----O>
Flag Burning
<----O>
Gun Control
<----O>
Tax Structure
<----O>
Womens' Rights
<----O>
Civil Rights
<----O>
Drug Law
<----O>
Immigration
<----O>
Election Reform
<----O>
Military Spending
<----O>
Prison Regulation
<----O>
Human Rights
<----O>