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[Jiokuy]

Hey, this seems like it might be a good place to ask advice. (I cut down a longer post to avoid boring or tmi)

My mental illness causes me to lose short term memories, inconsistently, when it flares (usually when I'm very stressed).

To combat this I try to keep notes, and lists, but I've run into the issue: My Executive Functioning skills are very poor.

Another byproduct of my illness is, I can't count on Goal-Oriented motivation. No matter how much I want to do something, I can't guarantee that will remain the case long term. Which often results in me abandoning things, because I'm not interested or I forget I was even pursuing that goal, then building guilt eventually makes them repulsive to me (I'm sorry B12 Mafia, really).

All of the resources I have found for building Executive Functioning skills rely on developing goals and achieving them to build motivation. That is not really an option for me. Do you all have any experience or recommendations?

(I am not depressed, I did have a therapist, can't afford one atm. Mostly because Murica)

[Jo]

Hey man, sorry to hear. You are using a bit of jargon here that people might not be familiar with.

Executive Functioning.
Goal Oriented Motivation.

These things mean something very specific for you, can you describe them? I'm pretty sure I know what they mean to me, but it's important we know what you mean to you.

That said, it sounds like people might describe you as 'flighty'. Like you don't stick to stuff. I find that having daily goals, not long term goals, are what keep me going. Honestly very few people can stick to long term goals, but doing something every day forms a habit, and good habits can masquerade as long term ambition.

Something as simple as writing ever morning, or sit ups before bed every night, or getting to school on time every day. These things build confidence and all of that.

I probably didn't help. It's hard with mental issues, hard to give advice, hard to understand. I hope I helped, I just outlined what I do as I suck at long term stuff unless I make it a daily habit.

Good luck.

[Jiokuy]

Executive Functioning:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Executive functions consist of several mental skills that help the brain organize and act on information. These skills enable people to plan, organize, remember things, prioritize, pay attention and get started on tasks. They also help people use information and experiences from the past to solve current problems.

In particular, having issues with executive functioning makes it difficult to:

Keep track of time
Make plans
Make sure work is finished on time
Multitask
Apply previously learned information to solve problems
Analyze ideas
Look for help or more information when it is needed

Goal Oriented Motivation,
My ability to delay gratification, in pursuit of a goal. (saving money, studying instead of playing a video game, most cleaning)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*sigh* I can't really go into why my goals screwed w/o mentioning this, I have / had dissociative identity disorder. Therapy has broken most of my walls, and I don't lose long term memories anymore (excluding repressed ones). But I do have several contradictory personality fragments (e.g. I have a male and a female fragment).

What I want as a person, is not consistent, it's not so invariable that my rational decision making changes much. But the underlying emotion, something that is gratifying one week can be hollow the next. Bouts of non-clinical depression and also mania tied to fragments is just a kicker.

It doesn't help my Mother was Bipolar and had disorganized schizophrenia. And My father's family tree has two people with paranoid schizophrenia. I haven't developed such, yet, but genetics are not in my favor. I really need to be on top of these skills, I'm likely at a peak in my life, the longer I can stay here, the better. I am probably schizoaffective, but I can't afford to check. (it is very difficult to medicate, and everything I've tried in the past had very bad fallout)

Any tips regarding that? (Your daily goal recommendation sounds great by the way, thank you)

[Jo]

Well that's some intense stuff man. Geez. I've worked with quite a few people with similar issues, I know that habit is a big thing. If you can get to a stable environment where you can develop daily habits you will see some good results. But other than that man, I'm in no way qualified to comment further.

You seem pretty lucid right now. People I've spoken with both online and in person who are spiraling into schizophrenia like issues aren't as lucid. They tend to jump down rabbit holes, they follow unlikely logic paths to far out conclusions. I'm not seeing you do that. I hope that means you are good right now, but again, I have a doctorate but it's not in this field.

Honestly if you can hold a job you are good, that's as far as most people can go anyway. Don't worry about playing a lot of games. Everyone games. Even grandmas play bridge and checkers.

Good luck.

[LordBucket]

Try yoga.

[Jo]

Lol. Yoga.

Exercise and fasting are common cures for everything.

[Tiruin]

I think you'd really do better in interacting physically with people who can help there, Jiokuy :O While I'm really aware of Executive Functioning and the likes, its a broad situation to give advice on, and the specifics are lost out when trying to detail it in this way.

If its possible, search around in your school for counseling aid--as far as I know, this is a mandatory in every school [or at least every school here has it].

The only extent I can think of using this method of communication is suggestions and advice which would really rely on how much detail could give merit to them.

All of the resources I have found for building Executive Functioning skills rely on developing goals and achieving them to build motivation. That is not really an option for me.

Could I ask why? (Though I already have a guess here given the broadness of Executive Functioning)

(I am not depressed, I did have a therapist, can't afford one atm. Mostly because Murica)

@_@
Save up for it? [unsure if this is bad advice]

[Sappho]

It's interesting to me how many different definitions there can be for things like "executive functioning." For example, I know Executive Dysfunction as: there are different parts of your brain responsible for wanting to do a thing, knowing how to do the thing, and actually pressing the start button and doing the thing, and having problems with executive function means the part of your brain responsible for actually doing the thing just sits there and goes "nah, I'm not gonna," no matter how much you want to do it and know how. It can mean inability to do household chores or perform basic hygiene, inability to get work done for work or school, or even if you stop walking at a crosswalk and the light turns green, you might find yourself unable to start moving again. Clearly this is quite different than the trouble you're having, so thanks for defining your terms.

Sounds like you're dealing with a lot of things at once and honestly, you should be proud of yourself for keeping it together as well as you do. I knew someone once with DID who had a lot of problems because her different personalities didn't get along and would actively try to sabotage each other. Eventually she found a doctor who managed to help her find ways to stop herself from switching personalities (along with the help of medication) and she was getting back in control of her life. But everyone is really different when it comes to these types of issues. There are a lot of different things that can happen in your situation, and it's hard to give any concrete advice without knowing a lot of specifics. I would say that trying to achieve your goals will be very dependent on specifically what the goals are. I don't know that there's any broad, general advice that would be particularly useful to you. If you are okay with providing more detailed information, maybe I or others could try to give specific advice relevant to the situation, but of course I understand it's not fun to air all your dirty laundry online for the world to see.

The one piece of advice I gave that girl I knew that she told me was actually helpful was to start keeping a journal. Four out of her five personalities were completely unaware of each other until forced to learn about each other by a doctor, and they did not share any memories. The fifth (which was not her main one) had the memories of all the others (and unfortunately also hated the others and was always trying to mess up their lives). Over time, by talking to her various sides, we managed to agree that it would be beneficial to start keeping a journal every day, so that whoever wasn't around during that time could get the cliff notes on what had happened while they were away. It was difficult to maintain due to the unpredictability of the changes, but every little bit helped. If you have this issue, of not having access to all your memories, something like this might be useful to you. In fact, writing in general can be a good way for the various "fragments" to communicate, since they presumably can't speak face to face to work out problems and come to an agreement on how to proceed in life. If you all can manage to find a compromise, it will be to everyone's benefit. If everyone is just doing what they feel like whenever they're out, then every time they come out they'll find themselves working against each other. However many of you there are, you have to share a body, so if you want to accomplish a goal, you need to agree on what that goal is somehow.

It's an incredibly difficult situation and not one you should have to be in without the care of a good doctor. I'm actually surprised to hear you can't see a doctor in America right now. I was there for a couple of months and I managed to get completely free health care because I didn't have any money. That health care should include at least some degree of psych care. Do you really not have access to any at all? Have you looked into options? Or is it that you only have the option of one particular doctor which you don't like, or something like that? I don't think you need a therapist so much as a doctor who really specializes in your condition. Many therapists are great at what they do, but many are not, and most do not have experience with DID and related issues. Have you tried contacting a few and asking them about payment options - emphasizing the severity of your situation and your urgent need for assistance? If they are at all good doctors, they will try to help you find a way to afford it.

[Bohandas]

With the note-taking it may help to carry around a portable mp3-recorder