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Author Topic: "Thats cute"  (Read 8455 times)

Trapezohedron

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #45 on: August 02, 2015, 09:20:18 pm »

1. Why people don't say things up front is because they value the status-quo relationship enough they don't feel it's worth risking it to break it apart. Tell a person who had a case of being bullied to be an idiot for not fighting back, see the conflict that ensues.

She didn't say it not because you're not worth it, but because they want to consider a bunch of things first before handing their permanent verdict on to you.

Personally, honest opinion, I would get irked on needy people; the kind of people who keep asking questions as to how many times one got pissed off. Getting pissed off is a natural thing; hell I get pissed off on my best friend for things not going according to plan. It just needs some time to subside.

2. People don't tell what they have because they don't think it's worth it to share. Saying a bunch of things about being sick means a lot of things. One, you're pandering for attention (oh lord help pray for me to get better soon, etc.); Two, you don't want your friends to worry about you (unless you own a circle of friends that you trust said information and know they won't treat you any differently).

3. It seems obvious to me that she doesn't want to start a relationship with you; don't force it. It's okay to get angry, but remember, this is just one single portion of your life. There is no such thing as true love, as the number of divorces can attest. Move on, find greener pastures, and do not hate the girl. Why shouldn't you hate someone? It's much better for your well-being. How so? They're no longer a fragment of your life. Do not allow these results to dictate who you might end up becoming.
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Tiruin

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #46 on: August 02, 2015, 11:05:20 pm »

Err, New Guy? Just to poke x3
1. Why people don't say things up front is because they value the status-quo relationship enough they don't feel it's worth risking it to break it apart. Tell a person who had a case of being bullied to be an idiot for not fighting back, see the conflict that ensues.
This approaches Social Conformity--but the example is....extremely off and out of place. [I mean seriously. Why would you tell a person he's an idiot because {didn't do x} o_O]

Why people don't say things up front is because of many reasons. Some do it out of respect. Some expect the other to read in-between the lines given the context of what's being said [as I doubt everything JB mentioned here is the whole story; its his portion of it but its not whole given the descriptions in the gaps]. Some do it because that's how they reason things. Some do it due to personal expectations and infer that the other recalls what's done and said.

Conformity is just one cause. :P
And...um, I think there's a certain spin to your numbered list of causes and answers which may cause a lot more trouble if taken as-is by itself. :-\ One can mention they're sick because they're legitimately sick. Whatever else has occurred may have just passed their mind innocently and without malevolent intent for you to not have known it. If it is important to you--make it known instead of expecting it to be known to you due to vagueness of clarity of value. [which seems to be the cause of JB's outburst].

There is no such thing as true love, as the number of divorces can attest.
NG O_O Srsly.
There is such a thing as true love; the presence of divorce does not occur from the lack of true love, or otherwise. Divorce occurs from a lot of reasons >_> <.<
The existence of such a concept must not be based on the existence of another, similar yet pertinent concept when both can exist solely by themselves.

Point is: There is such a thing as true love...and the thinking up there about thinking it that way won't really describe it well.

Everything else is totally K though. Don't hate the girl. You may have shortcomings you're currently not aware of, either. And of course, you wouldn't want to be hated because you weren't aware of them.
It's the fun of the complexity of perceptions. They're complicatedly simple. :3

But its confusing when one pushes away a person just as much as they 'don't matter in your life' as if you judge them only like...that.
It's like giving them a basis solely by what you feel instead of who they are. o_o
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gimlet

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2015, 11:12:29 pm »

Hey, plus, even if she thinks you're annoying, at least she's thinking about you :D

But really several things:
#1 - who give a fuck what other people think - people are in general idiots who think really stupid things.  If you let what you think someone is thinking wind you up, then you're lowering yourself into a world of useless annoyance.  What you think of yourself is the only thing that matters.

#2 - Did you ever play "telephone"?  Person 1 tells something to person 2, person 2 tells it to 3, and before it goes much farther it bears no relation to what person 1 said.  DO NOT base anything serious on this kind of hearsay.  This is your friend, probably trying to wind you up, based on some tiny snippet of some out-of-context remark some other person made.  DO NOT build conclusions on this kind of crap data.

#3 - Especially with emotional feelings, people don't tell other people the whole truth to begin with.  She may not think you'd like her back, so she's minimizing any display of feelings, she may feel something but be conflicted, so she's expressing both plus and minus positions at different times, she may hate  you but be trying to be kind - YOU DON'T KNOW and you can't possibly know this from some snippet mangled in transit by some other idiot.

#4 - What you did was actually kind of annoying :D   The only way to have that conversation productively is kind of playfully, face to face.  The harshness of texts and messages makes your questioning crude and obnoxious - big mistake.

If you still think there's something there, give it another shot at exploring it in person.  From what it sounds like it's not unambiguously positive, so decide in advance how much effort you're gonna continue to make on this.  If it's not there, move on, don't get dragged into a long "ahh maybe I don't know" from wishy-washy people, you can get sucked into that bullshit for years.  Don't be a dick, but put your time and effort into something else.
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Tiruin

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #48 on: August 02, 2015, 11:49:40 pm »

x_x That advice misses a lot in between the lines...and generalizes people a lot too.
Quote
#1 - who give a fuck what other people think - people are in general idiots who think really stupid things
Srsly dude. :P
Super vague. And very demeaning of the human nature. [And lacking specifics]. But only if its taken as-is...because the tone says 'what you think someone else is thinking badly about you'.
When it could really NOT apply when someone is just correcting you for your own betterment. It's like #1 comes from someone who already looks down on other people straight out.

If y'all are going to make a post in order for the OP to arrange this out by himself--do make sure that the advice you give is holistic and wholesome, instead of 'make me feel better in the short-term'.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2015, 11:54:05 pm by Tiruin »
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gimlet

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #49 on: August 03, 2015, 12:45:51 am »

See, that's even more evidence that high-importance communications are REALLY HARD to do over text - without the tone and body language, what would be mild hyperbole with some body-language can be interpreted as undying hatred of all humans :p

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Tiruin

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #50 on: August 03, 2015, 03:14:14 am »

Hee, just playing safe. :P
...Even if I can't read humor in that way ._.

I mean, cynicism isn't the best thing to advocate to a dude who's frustrated. It'll...not help his thoughts.
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Cheesecake

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #51 on: August 03, 2015, 05:16:22 am »

Hey, the rollercoaster can only go up now, dude.

Anyways, even if they do find you annoying, its like the others said; they found you annoying in a certain point of time for a certain thing, but they don't feel that way about you 24/7. It's normal for friends to find each other annoying. I find my friends annoying sometimes. They find me annoying. Sometimes I think they're obnoxious. Sometimes they think I'm needy. It pans out eventually.

If y'all are going to make a post in order for the OP to arrange this out by himself--do make sure that the advice you give is holistic and wholesome, instead of 'make me feel better in the short-term'.

Yeah, but you gotta put on the band-aid before you go to the doctor, right? :p
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Dying of laughter?
Dying of pure unbridled hatred, actually.

Trapezohedron

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #52 on: August 03, 2015, 05:17:20 am »

I don't know. I don't apply band-aids on cardiac arrests.
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Cheesecake

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Re: "Thats cute"
« Reply #53 on: August 03, 2015, 06:33:52 am »

You call the paramedics and the ambulance before he gets to the hospital though. Same thing, but scaled up.
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I wish I could unwatch a thread because every time I look at this I can feel myself dying faster
Dying of laughter?
Dying of pure unbridled hatred, actually.
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