I could imagine a plotline where the mayor and this axelord had something of a feud, and the mayor (a petulant, whining bastard who always gets his way) wanted revenge. After perusing the fort records, the mayor noticed a small detail in the logbook: said axelord described himself as a novice tailor back when he first immigrated.
Abusing his knowledge of dwarven justice and his personal ability to order production, the mayor set to work. He knew that his production order for a *cave spider silk left mitten* would probably never be filled by an actual worker, due to the fact he never actually told anyone about it - instead filing the signed-off production slip into the "already read and taken care of" pile of papers behind the managers back. In order to accomplish this the mayor had to get the manager mad drunk, which only increased the chances his order would never be discovered.
The guard wasn't supposed to
kill him. The mayor, some weeks later, had taken the final step and filed an order for dwarven justice to be carried out upon the Axelord. No one balked when hearing this, for this wasn't the first time the mayor had taken himself upon this particularly circuitous path of vengeance.
What surprised people was the dwarf who was told to mete out said justice. Only going by a first name, Cog was the sort of dwarf with whom everyone knew to carefully cultivate a friendly yet distant relationship, for his regular fits of misguided rage and violence led to injuries and pain. His well-guided fits of rage, however, were almost always lethal - and please note that "well-guided" refers to a judgement made by
Cog's brain, and object so utterly illogical it's a planned research topic for your scholars in Toady's next update (Just how can he even breathe when every decision he makes is so profoundly stupid? Can we harness this chaotic mess of neurons and turn it into something more powerful - or at least stop him from hurting people all the time? Can his unique un-intelligence be attributed to his genetically inbred family line?). Cog was a fortress guard only because he was uncontrollable anywhere but the barracks, and even there the other soldiers were fearful. He was never given any work, since that might have distracted him from the apparently-difficult task of "try not to maim anything," much less the job of serving dwarven justice.
You see, the mayor thought he knew what he was doing by assigning that beast of a dwarf as punisher. "I want to show him I really mean business," the mayor thought to himself, "Cog should rough him up nice and good but not too bad, you know? How bad could it be, I mean the guys an axelord what could go wrong lol it's not like cog is batshit or anything. . ."
Cog, upon receiving the order to "dole out 6 fairly-metered strikes", sought the axelord immediately and with passion. No one told the axelord that cog was coming to 'punish' him, as no one had time - the two were sparring together inside the barracks. Looking up from the slip, Cog walked over to the axelord as if excited about what he had read. The axelord himself leaned over to catch a view of the contents of the order, and was fully unprepared for Cog's metaled fist. Hacing interpreted the order as something along the lines of "murder the axelord in 6 different ways, all equally violent", Cog launched that fist with his entire body. Something akin to a lead minecart immediately fractured the axelord's nose, driving a splintered bone through into his brain. The fist didn't stop, however, and frankly the resulting image is sort of like those weird bread bowls I saw on a korean tv show the other night where you break the top in with a spoon and there's amazing noodles inside. Replace the noodles with the axelord's brain, and you might have a pretty tasty desert. Replace the noodles with his brain, the bowl with his helmet and the bread with his face, and you might get the picture.
And guess what? The mayor doesn't even care. Problem solved, feud forgotten, nemesis dead - and only Cog to blame.
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Topic: Legendary+5 Axe Lord executed for violating production order (Read 7190 times)