“Alright everybody, listen up!”
Urkad stood in front of the assembled scum and villainy of Icehold, her steely-eyed yet congenial gaze sweeping the crowd.
“Now then—some of you may know me. For those who don’t, suffice to say I’m just a legitimate buisnessdwarf trying to make a living. But enough about me, I’ve got a few… suggestions about how this frozen hellhole should be handled. You don’t have to listen to them, but if you don’t, my friend here might get unhappy.” She gestured to her right, where Albel Wheelspure stood.
Ablel, only recently having passed the threshold of adulthood, wasn’t the most imposing dwarf—but the newly forged silver mace he held certainly was. He hadn’t been Urvad’s first choice, but the young dwarf was one of the very few in Icehold that she could trust not to stab her in the back.
The assembled dwarves murmured slightly, then shrugged at one another. Most of them had worked with this kind of boss before Icehold, and besides, what was one more egocentric, criminally insane Overseer?
“Now, this fort is in a sorry state. We’ve got goblins above, a forgotten beast below, and nothing’s been getting done because everyone’s too busy throwing out garbage. Well that changes today.
“I suggest anything valuable taken be taken off the roof. Leave the rest there. You-” she pointed at a dwarf holding a crossbow, who unbeknownst to her was Neblime Fishportals, former poacher, “should up there and see if you can take out a couple of the greenskins. They need to learn some respect.”
“My quarters aren’t exactly up to snuff either. I’d like them expanded and engraved.
“And somebody get those dogs out of the well. Their yappin’s driving me nuts.”
These goblins may be a bigger problem than I anticipated. The second a weaver stepped outside, they filled him full ‘a holes.
He wasn’t the only one who got hit, either. The Professor, the Poisoner, and that one guy won’t shut up about Vesh took a couple bolts each, but nothing serious.
The poacher went out to give ‘em what for, and they shot him right in the tongue.
At that point, I think the cheeky little bastards were just showing off. I swear I could hear ‘em laughin’ from my room.
I heard a group of dwarves cracking jokes about me in the dining hall today. The most vocal ones were a miner and a mason. It might be time to arrange a couple of accidents…
Some dwarves say respect is a hard thing to come by. Those dwarves are stupid. All it takes to get some respect is a misplaced minecart or a weakened floor above the magma sea.
The Poacher’s earning some respect of his own. He went topside again and put a bolt straight through the head of the goblin that took out his tongue. After that he unloaded his crossbow into another goblin until it stopped twitching, then he came back down for a drink.
“So tell me, what are the two biggest threats to our little community?”
Urkad had gathered several of Icehold’s most influential dwarves for this meeting. Sitting at tables in the back of the dining hall were Honeymoon, Quasar, Deus, Neblime, Black Pat, and Mistem. Ablel was, as always, standing at Urkad’s shoulder.
Honeymoon was the first to speak. “Besides each other? The goblins outside and that giant worm down below.”
Urkad smiled. “Right on the money, Queen Bee.”
“It’s not a threat, it’s a specimen!” Quasar cut in.
“Call it whatever you want, Professor, the point is, it’s a problem to us. And so are the goblins. Now, I may be just a buisnessdwarf, but If I’ve learned one thing from life, it’s that if you have multiple problems, sometimes they’ll solve each other.”
“So what you’re saying is,” said Deus, “We set the forgotten beast on the goblins?”
Urkad smiled at the guard captain.
“A chance to see the beast on the prowl, at no risk to us—how could I pass up an experiment like that?” Quasar said.
Neblime tried to raise an objection—the risk was actually quite high—but it proved to be rather difficult without a tongue.
“Then it’s settled.” Urkad stood up. “Someone tell the miners—we’re gonna need a lot of digging done."
Summer has Arrived.
I think I may have set the record for fastest dwarf loss in a succession fort- the weaver bit it approximately 2 seconds after I unpaused.
Author
Topic: Ice Station WereZebra (Read 57286 times)