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Author Topic: The Ebon Pact [Intro: Entrenched]  (Read 17900 times)

endlessblaze

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #30 on: June 02, 2015, 05:50:38 am »



did I do this right?
Mostly, though that's probably more bold than you need.

It does feel a bit barebones at the moment; parts of it feel like you either couldn't quite make up your mind or didn't bother to decide on what your character was like. He popped out of nowhere for no reason, decided to help Miraga because they wanted him to help, is nice except when he's not, and wants to change things. That's... not very specific, as demonic backstories go. The bit about the arena and wanting to mold society to his whims are probably the most detailed parts, but even there we don't have any details about what or why.

But seriously, you might want to work on that character a bit. "Sprang into existence from nothing" is kind of boring without any further backstory. Just to be clear it's the people of Miraga that cried for a king and caused him to exist? Doesn't this mean he might not have the best relations with the Lords of Bloom due to the fact that he suddenly appeared and took a seat? Or at the very least, had no time so far to build up the relations he seems to have so far.
I was reading it as springing out of nothing for no stated reason, then answering the call for a king independent of that. Which still suffers from the stated issue of not being a very interesting birth or ascension.
[/quote]

irony is correct, as for the bland character.....it was late and im have a bit of writers block. I have ideas for what im going to do....but not for more detailed characters.....

he will get more intreting when the game starts I assure you.
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Vacio

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #31 on: June 02, 2015, 06:11:07 am »

I will adding changes today as well to Vas'nox, it was late when I wrote it and I wanted to post what i had so far, also realize it says little to nothing on his abilities.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #32 on: June 02, 2015, 06:31:31 am »

Aha! Was having a bit of trouble inventing something (was thinking an ogre princess initially, but went in a different direction), but the sheet is now complete! Well, I think. I didn't miss anything, did I?
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #33 on: June 02, 2015, 06:41:49 am »

Aha! Was having a bit of trouble inventing something (was thinking an ogre princess initially, but went in a different direction), but the sheet is now complete! Well, I think. I didn't miss anything, did I?
Oh the delicious paranoia. I like it.
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IronyOwl

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #34 on: June 02, 2015, 07:01:15 am »

irony is correct, as for the bland character.....it was late and im have a bit of writers block. I have ideas for what im going to do....but not for more detailed characters.....

he will get more intreting when the game starts I assure you.
Alright, but your character sheet is sort of where you're supposed to convince me of that. I can't swear I won't end up choosing a more interesting-looking character over promises that your entry is more than it seems.

Aha! Was having a bit of trouble inventing something (was thinking an ogre princess initially, but went in a different direction), but the sheet is now complete! Well, I think. I didn't miss anything, did I?
Oh the delicious paranoia. I like it.
I was wondering when The Baldman would show up. That's everything alright, though I think this may be one of your less bizarre entries.
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Cheesecake

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #35 on: June 02, 2015, 07:36:26 am »

Actually, might not be able to join this soon. So you don't have to wait for me, please put me on the waitlist!
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micelus

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #36 on: June 02, 2015, 09:04:36 am »

« Last Edit: June 03, 2015, 08:18:01 am by micelus »
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micelus

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #37 on: June 03, 2015, 07:23:49 am »

Doublepost; ah well.

So anything wrong with my sheet? Also, do players start off with any Virtues?
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Do you hear that, Endra? NONE CAN STAND AGAINST THE POWER OF THE DENTAL, AHAHAHAHA!!!
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Marduk is my waifu
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Digital Hellhound

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #38 on: June 03, 2015, 07:40:34 am »

As great as that app is, micelus, I have to say 'A millennium into this relationship, the trio got amazingly drunk and awoke surrounded by angels in another realm entirely.' is the best part. I wonder what demonic booze tastes like. Someone should make a demon who peddles Bloom-made alcohol to the poor mortals - it'll rot away your soul along with your liver!
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #39 on: June 03, 2015, 07:43:51 am »

As great as that app is, micelus, I have to say 'A millennium into this relationship, the trio got amazingly drunk and awoke surrounded by angels in another realm entirely.' is the best part. I wonder what demonic booze tastes like. Someone should make a demon who peddles Bloom-made alcohol to the poor mortals - it'll rot away your soul along with your liver!
On the other hand, you can use it as a unholy water substitute to repel pesky angels in a pinch!
« Last Edit: June 03, 2015, 08:34:24 am by Demonic Spoon »
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3man75

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #40 on: June 03, 2015, 08:34:42 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

So is only one application going to be accepted or are multiple players playing?
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #41 on: June 03, 2015, 08:43:18 am »

Six players.

Quote
Physical Description: A combination of an Orc-Humanoid body with Elf looking ears. His face is notoriously scarred from self-flagellation and his eyes of dark purple can luminate a particularly dark time.
wat
Quote
His goal of "Justice at any costs" brought him many enemeis but none dared to challenge him and even the executed knew that he always had a point.
wat
Quote
Should [Shaksal] ever step to far out of line though, then they may call me God-King Slayer.
wat
Quote
I pray to [Shaksal] daily and I know he hears me although sometimes I feel he does not.
wat
Quote
Jebidiah - Crime boss for the criminal enterprise of Crimson Coin. He works within the law and out of the law to make his coin and then spends it in various business ventures that fail. Jebidiah and 'The coin' are an extortion group of Drow thugs who left their society to find profit here from this cities corruption. We've met several times but always eluded me with magic, smoke pellets, and once with god knows what he did. Because of his Services to the Kings agents he is always being pardoned which makes my job harder..but one day he'll slip up and hell be at my mercy. On the meantime I enjoy executing his rank and file Coin men at the public squares. I can tell he hates me but also cannot do much against me or for his men.
This seems more a "rival" than a "contact" tbh.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2015, 08:45:16 am by Demonic Spoon »
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endlessblaze

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #42 on: June 03, 2015, 09:23:29 am »

Trying to think of ways to improve my character sheet....

I guess at the end of the school year it's hard to come up with a character. All my, creativity is centered around projects for when the game starts....


@spoon.  :-[ I'm not good at names, I would break out Latin but I'm not sure how good Google translate will translate the name.


And i like the dream hydra, maybe we can make a trade for some cloth.
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Demonic Spoon

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #43 on: June 03, 2015, 09:26:22 am »

What are some cool projects you might do?
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3man75

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Re: The Ebon Pact [Creation, Battle, Management, and Politics]
« Reply #44 on: June 03, 2015, 10:11:43 am »

Six players.

Quote
Physical Description: A combination of an Orc-Humanoid body with Elf looking ears. His face is notoriously scarred from self-flagellation and his eyes of dark purple can luminate a particularly dark time.
wat
Quote
His goal of "Justice at any costs" brought him many enemeis but none dared to challenge him and even the executed knew that he always had a point.
wat
Quote
Should [Shaksal] ever step to far out of line though, then they may call me God-King Slayer.
wat
Quote
I pray to [Shaksal] daily and I know he hears me although sometimes I feel he does not.
wat
Quote
Jebidiah - Crime boss for the criminal enterprise of Crimson Coin. He works within the law and out of the law to make his coin and then spends it in various business ventures that fail. Jebidiah and 'The coin' are an extortion group of Drow thugs who left their society to find profit here from this cities corruption. We've met several times but always eluded me with magic, smoke pellets, and once with god knows what he did. Because of his Services to the Kings agents he is always being pardoned which makes my job harder..but one day he'll slip up and hell be at my mercy. On the meantime I enjoy executing his rank and file Coin men at the public squares. I can tell he hates me but also cannot do much against me or for his men.
This seems more a "rival" than a "contact" tbh.

Literally why I don't make these. Fuck it just pick someone else because in the end these games end before they even start.
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