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[Generally me]

The power of making people high five us.

[FArgHalfnr]

Time travel!

[Jack A T]

To calculate the world's most efficient policies, that we can benefit the world in the most efficient way possible.

Bureaucracy

The power of making people high five us.

Time travel!

"Interesting selection.  Let's begin your training."

You train for a week (the report is now rather a bit late), learning the simplest of equations that allow you to manipulate reality itself, while your cats at home are magically cared for.  Unfortunately, your training is interrupted.

One day, you wake up to the sounds of gunfire and explosions outside your well-furnished room, most likely in the entrance hall.

Spoiler: Mathemagic (click to show/hide)

Mathemagician in Training
Mathemagic: Extend/Retract Staff, Repair Coffee Maker, Light, Elemental Bolt, Justify Policy, Do Paperwork, Create Paperwork, Search Archives, Force High Five, Set Timer

[Demonic Spoon]

Go outside. Force attackers to highfive us, dropping their guns in the process.

[Generally me]

Go outside. Force attackers to highfive us, dropping their guns in the process.

See I knew it would be useful. +1

[FArgHalfnr]

Go outside. Force attackers to highfive us, dropping their guns in the process.

See I new it would be useful. +1

If this fails, summon a fort out of paperwork.

[Jack A T]

Go outside. Force attackers to highfive us, dropping their guns in the process.

You exit your room just in time to see the robed man getting shot in the head by one of the many CoffeeCafe security agents in the entrance hall.  One notices you and starts charging to you, gun ready.  Desperately, you tap away at your calculator staff, forcing the agent to drop his gun and high five you.  Problem: it's hard to use the calculator when you're high fiving your enemy, and the clap of the hands alerts the rest of the agents.

If this fails, summon a fort out of paperwork.

You shove the disarmed agent away and quickly start pressing the calculator keys again.  The armed agents aim, and as the first bricks of paperwork form, they start firing.  By the time you have a wall up between you and the enemies, you've been grazed by a couple shots.  This wall isn't likely to hold for long and you're bleeding on it.

Spoiler: Mathemagic (click to show/hide)

Mathemagician in Training
Mathemagic: Extend/Retract Staff, Repair Coffee Maker, Light, Elemental Bolt, Justify Policy, Do Paperwork, Create Paperwork, Search Archives, Force High Five, Set Timer

[Demonic Spoon]

Justify a policy where coffee cafes are nationalized?

[Generally me]

Create paperwork inside their heads.

[heydude6]

Set a timer that counts down until the guns spontaneously explode. Set it to 3 seconds

[FArgHalfnr]

Set a timer that counts down until the guns spontaneously explode. Set it to 3 seconds

+1 except 0.1 seconds instead of three. No time to wait for that.

[FallacyofUrist]

Set a timer that counts down until the guns spontaneously explode. Set it to 3 seconds

+1 except 0.1 seconds instead of three. No time to wait for that.

+1, yah. If any agents survive... force them to all high five each other until they drop dead of exhaustion.

[Jack A T]

Set a timer that counts down until the guns spontaneously explode. Set it to 3 seconds

+1 except 0.1 seconds instead of three. No time to wait for that.

You spend a few seconds trying to figure out how to set up a timed gun explosion, and then something clicks.  You calculate a way to at least create a small explosion linked to your timer, which you set at 1.5 seconds.

The timer goes off with a BEEP BEEP BOOOOOOOOOM BEEP BEEP.  Paperwork and agent bits fly everywhere.  Again, though, the dead agents (and some still live) melt into some sort of clear, odd-smelling liquid.

Create paperwork inside their heads.

You start trying to make paperwork in the heads of the living agents.  You're not sure if it worked.  If it did, it didn't have any effect.

Justify a policy where coffee cafes are nationalized?

You mathemagically craft a report that strings odd bits of political science, orthodox and heterodox economics, sociology, and rhetoric together to justify nationalization of the coffee shop industry.  This might be of more use if you had someone, such as the Deputy Minister, to give the report to.

+1, yah. If any agents survive... force them to all high five each other until they drop dead of exhaustion.

Just as the remaining agents start to aim at you, you force them to high five each other.  There's just one problem: they're not getting tired.  You, tapping away rapidly, are.  You are not nearly caffeinated enough to handle this much rapid calculator use.

You see a glowing hole open in the wall somewhere behind the remaining agents.  Where it leads, you do not know.

Spoiler: Mathemagic (click to show/hide)

Mathemagician in Training
Mathemagic: Extend/Retract Staff, Repair Coffee Maker, Light, Elemental Bolt, Justify Policy, Do Paperwork, Create Paperwork, Search Archives, Force High Five, Set Timer, Timed Explosion

[FallacyofUrist]

Calculate odds of survival. Then go through the portal, and survive.

[FArgHalfnr]

Collect a bit of molten agent for science later