An ungifted collaborator ADVENT rookie snake-loving professor and pacifist was teaching a class on the Uber-Ethereal, known alien.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the Uber-Ethereal and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the galaxy has ever known, even greater than the Volunteer!“
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-xenocide Assault Colonel champion who had cleared 1500 terror missions and understood the necessity of the long war and fully supported all military decision made by X-Com stood up and held up an alloy cannon.
"How old is this alloy cannon, pinhead?”
The arrogant professor hissed like a Thin Man and smugly replied “4.6 billion years, you stupid human”
"Wrong. It’s been 20 years since Raymond Shen created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and aliens, as you say, are people… then they should have made it first."
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his cyber-chalk and copy of Species of the Collective. He stormed out of the room crying those ADVENT crocodile tears. The same tears ADVENT cry for “Valhen's prisoners” (who today live in such luxury that most own human genes) when they jealously try to claw justly earned meld from the deserving squaddies. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Ayy Lmao, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an alien-lover species traitor. He wished so much that he had a laser pistol to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had helped the Ethereals confiscate them!
The students applauded and all joined X-Com that day and accepted the Volunteer as their lord and savior. A MEC Trooper named “Close Combat Specialist” flew into the room and perched atop the X-Com Sigil and shed meld on the chalk. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was read several times, and the Commander himself showed up and declared human monodominance across the Milky Way.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He implanted by a stray Chryssalid and was burned to death by X-Com.
Vigilo Confido.
p.s. There is no god but the Commander and Bradford is His prophet.
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Topic: X-Com Chimera Squad (Read 737111 times)