being evil and owning it.
Because if they accept and embrace being evil, they go from being casually violent and greedy to being
professionally violent and greedy. Now they're giving themselves an evil allowance, but if they identify as evil they'll start trying to fill an evil
quota. And only madness lies down that path.
Veneers make a difference! Sometimes, anyways.
Sounds like a rare opportunity to go full barbarian
'Tis indeed, they even lost their old barbarian a couple sessions ago! I've tried to stock up on beefness, but didn't want to go the tried-and-true standard of Bearbarb. Opted for Beast instead, for the reaction +d8 to AC (and sundry). With shield and the ridiculous stats we're granted, I'm at a fairly respectable 18 AC standard.
Speaking of stats... He uses a fixed array that we can then make two adjustments to: Subtract 2 from one stat to add 2 to another, and subtract 1 from one stat to add 1 to another.
That fixed array is as follows: 16, 15, 14, 12, 12, 12. Soooo... With mountain dwarf, my level one stats were 20 STR, 18 CON, and 14 DEX. We also get a free feat at level 1, which I decided to throw at Resilient: Wisdom to patch my WIS saves up a touch. Also get one free uncommon magic item. Nabbed a Periapt of Wound Closure, figured I'd done a decent job of becoming reasonably tanky.
Fight starts, and I make sure to move ahead of the squishies. It was at this point, everything went wrong... I was too far away to safely rage, so I just positioned myself and started dodging. Ettin comes up, rolls two attacks with disadvantage against my 18 AC... Ends up with 22 and 24. Got smacked for just over half my health on my first round of combat.
Then the other ogre-ish-thingy comes over, and does a sweeping club attack... DEX save, it's an effect I can see so I get advantage on the roll, and if it does half damage on a success I can use my reaction to negate it via Shield Master!
Yeah, with advantage I got as high as 13, failing the save. Down to 9 hitpoints.
My turn rolls around, and I pick myself up while raging to get my defensive tail. I swing my hammer at the ettin, and... Fumble. But at least making an attack preserves my rage!
Then the Ettin stands up and flat out crits me. The rage neither reduced the damage to leave my conscious, nor saved me from being instakilled because 33 damage ain't enough to take me down.
"Ah!" I think, "Now I get to make use of my Periapt and auto-stabilize at the start of my turn!" except, no, I get healed and brought back to consciousness. Then the ogre does his swingy club thing again, DEX save, and with advantage I roll... 6 total. This is supposed to knock me prone as well, but I was already lying down from last time so we just interpret this as me getting smushed even deeper into the dirt.
Despite having lost my rage, this apparently didn't stop my character from getting angry enough to stand back up, slap the ettin for max damage on my warhammer, and then shield-bash the ogre to the ground which allows another member to get a good hit off thanks to the prone advantage. Then I got hit and knocked unconscious again.
Thanks to the prodigious healing afforded me by the party and my well of hitpoints being deep enough to avoid instadeath, I did manage to get back on my feet right at the end of the fight. Hilariously, the DM Deus Ex Machina reinforcements swooped into the field of battle just as we finished off the last mook, leaving them all dressed up with nothing to do.
Combat wraps up, some minor looting and RP happens, and we're informed that we get to have a short rest while walking back to rejoin the caravan. "Ah!" I think again, "Now's my chance to make fantastic economic usage of my Periapt, since it doubles the healing I get from spending hit dice! Despite only having 10hp now, I'll probably only need to roll one die to get back to good health!" And so I roll my big ol' beefy Barbarian d12 hit dice.
...1
Fuck. Roll another.
...1
Fuck. Roll a third!
...7
Beh... Alright, fine.
So, yeah. I survived, but pretty much all my cool shit buttons built into making this character tanky failed to activate thanks to hilarious rolls and teammates actually propping me up every time I went down. Great success, in other words!
I mean, I did kinda do my job... The big nasties basically failed to put so much as a single scratch on anyone else, thanks to rolling
abysmally when dealing with any of the other party members. I joked that I ate all their good rolls for the good of the team