Ahhh yes. We've been expecting you.
Shame on you sweet nerevar - teleportation or plane shifting of any kind no longer works in a 60ft radius. No recall or intervention can work in this place, there is no escape!
sounds hot
what happens in Orcbants stays in Orcbants. So if you leave Orcbants, it is tattooed in infamy forever
Although 12 orcs sin't much of a horde
More of a mob
or a poetry slam
Poetry slam is a great name for an attack. Also I don't think low level players can handle a true horde of orcs, so a flash mob of orcs will do.
Granted, now I have the perfect idea for introducing the combat. The players enter a marketplace full of orcs. Once they start perusing the goods, one Orc begins dancing, then another, then another, until the whole flash mob is dancing in unison. Roll for initiative.
If you didn't already have so many (excellent) Shakespear puns I would insist on making the Quivering Spear the deity of theatre/poetry/banter
I think there's room to replace some attacks with play puns -
The Tempest (area of effect swirling attack)
The Restraining of the Shrew
Midsummer Fight's Dream
Measure for Measure (reaction damage return)
Now is the Winter of your Discontent [cone of cold]
To see, or not to see [makes a perception check]
All the World's a play, and all the men and women are merely players [the DM attacks the players]
The Lady doth protest too much [cast silence]
Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! [next attack is a crit]
All that glistens is not gold [the next loot you get is fake, the real treasure was the friends you made along the way]
Once more unto the breach [makes a charge attack]
My Kingdom for a horse [summons a bunch of horses]
We are such stuff as dreams are made of [cast misty step]
What's mine is yours and what is yours is mine [exchange the items you are holding with an enemy's items]
Absolutely amazing list. Beyond quality. Full marks to you for such a creative set of drunken hijinks outcomes.
Much thanks, when I've got more time I'm gonna turn it into a more graphically pleasing chart