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[MrRoboto75]

Sigil portals are basically a plot device.  No rolling, not to say you can't though

[GiglameshDespair]

The 5e game I was running here, didn't get very far for a couple of reasons, but it was planned to be a multiplanar thing - the players were going to be transported to one of the realms of the various afterlives, ruined by the battles between the pantheons, and have to work their way through the planes in order to find their way back.

There was also a small chance every time they teleported between planes they'd be shunted to a plane called Tumbletown, which is basically a horrible shanty town of mutated castaways were physics doesn't really work, and those who stary there too long become mutanted wretches themselves. It being an afterlife, still (sucks if you go there!), they were also going to encounter the ork from one of the player's backstories, who had risen to become chief of part of it, and was now a monster with a grudge for being killed.

What could have been, and all that.

[sjm9876]

My p;referred method of starting otherworldly adventures is with a TPK

Honestly works pretty well tho, especially if you can trick the players into selling their souls in the process (thus ensuring they all go to the same afterlife).

[Rolan7]

Our vampire party has always been pretty self destructive, but usually not so literally.  Our Malkavian Ventrue is being targeted by a blood hunt, and wants to disguise herself as a Nosferatu.  After romping through the sewers for a while, she decides to... cut her face to ribbons.

"Can it be bludgeoning tho?"  "Well... it's a knife."
"What if I shot myself in the face?"  "...Yeah... that would actually do bludgeoning instead of lethal..."
...
"Okay!  I'm going to take this boulder and hit myself in the face a lot!"

Thing is she only has one unit of health left, the rest is aggravated damage (various tortures, then driving a car into a house at 70mph).  We eventually decided she already looks like a Nosferatu.

[highmax28]

Started a new campaign today. Party is two Rangers (one a beast master, one a two weapon fighter), a wizard going spellblade, and a light cleric. To make it easy on the party, since we have three newbies, I have a DMPC tank based on Kenny from South Park (a revenant who has died too many times and just wishes to stay dead).

Party accepted a quest to search for artifacts in a crypt that has undead there. They meet with the first person to get there who is infected with a slower, more painful version of necrosis. He gives the party a quest to get him a potion of cure disease, and that's the first thing the party goes to do.

First encounter is against 2 cockatrices. The melee ranger gets bit and petrified for 24 hours. Party takes a long rest at the town after evading another encounter, and they meet the apothecary who says she'll give them the potion for free if they get her the ingredients. Ingredients are guarded by four giant wolf spiders who ambush the party. The party beastmaster tries to tame it but gets it sniped by the other ranger. Beastmaster tries to take it from him and crits the roll, he now has a giant wolf spider.

They return the goods and the party explores the town a bit. They go and find a bounty board that has a quest to find a missing child, and the LG wizard says to go for it right away, and they do. The party makes it to a den that normally was abandoned but was now taken up by spiders. They walk in and get ambushed right away by two giant wolf spiders who drop on them. Drops one to 0 and the other one to 1hp. The party manages to kill them quickly and the guy at 0 crit fails his death save. Counts as two failures, and then they get him back up.

The party finds farther in the cave two swarms of spiders who they manage to scare off one after setting them on fire and completely torching the other one. They go into the boss room where a giant spider is and the spider swarm. The party tries to distract the spider, which succeeds but it does nothing helpful, and so the beastmaster ranger runs in and tries to tame the giant spider. He succeeds once of three times but fails right after. Other ranger tries and just fails, and they try to knock it out, but the giant spider bites the beastmaster and drops him to -6hp. He then fails his last death save. Dead ranger.

Wizard says "fuck this shit, no taming spiders" and does a fuckload of damage to the giant spider and kills it with a lightning chromatic orb. The cleric kills the spider swarm and they find a scroll of revivify (because I didn't want to be mean to the newbie and kill him right away) and they revived him. The party then goes back to town, and return the child, and then I forgot to reward them, and they run into an old warrior who wishes to die in battle.

That's when we ended; with a Jojo's Bizarre Adventure style To Be Continued...

[Jimmy]

Nice going Highmax! That's a lot of spiders, did one of the rangers have Favoured Enemy: Vermin by any chance? Any reason the child was in the spider cave?

My group of players fell for my mimic encounter hook, line and sinker. They still beat the CR: 7 equivalent encounter at APL: 4 without too much difficulty, so I think I'm fine to keep throwing higher than average monsters at them for the time being. The samurai loves his new set of mithral full plate too, though I've said that until he gets it properly resized, it will count as being donned hastily for the penalty to wear it (AC and ACP 1 worse than normal).

[Harry Baldman]

Any reason the child was in the spider cave?

Adopted by wolf spiders.

Would be pretty funny to actually see a giant wolf spider carrying a human child on its back amid a whole mess of attached spiderlings. Also an interesting challenge for PCs to potentially navigate.

[sjm9876]

Reward with a friendly contact in town perhaps? Or some kind of story hook if you can work one in? After all, child adopted by spiders could lead to an interesting plot

[GiglameshDespair]

Reward with a friendly contact in town perhaps? Or some kind of story hook if you can work one in? After all, child adopted by spiders could lead to an interesting plot

Well, if someone runs a game on the forums here, I know what kind of character I'd make for it.

[highmax28]

Any reason the child was in the spider cave?

Adopted by wolf spiders.

Would be pretty funny to actually see a giant wolf spider carrying a human child on its back amid a whole mess of attached spiderlings. Also an interesting challenge for PCs to potentially navigate.

It was gonna be the small village respects the party more and they get 50 silver a piece (5 gold because this is a poorer town).

The child usually plays there (not in the den but in the area) with his friends, and the area was deemed safe at first, but the spiders came recently since they wander the forest often. So the child was playing by himself when it happened.

Nice going Highmax! That's a lot of spiders, did one of the rangers have Favoured Enemy: Vermin by any chance? Any reason the child was in the spider cave?

My group of players fell for my mimic encounter hook, line and sinker. They still beat the CR: 7 equivalent encounter at APL: 4 without too much difficulty, so I think I'm fine to keep throwing higher than average monsters at them for the time being. The samurai loves his new set of mithral full plate too, though I've said that until he gets it properly resized, it will count as being donned hastily for the penalty to wear it (AC and ACP 1 worse than normal).

The two weapon ranged actually found out his favored enemy was beasts (which counted for spiders) and he forgot about it until after the other ranger died and the wizard kicked the shit out of the big spider.

I also forgot to mention I have random encounter tables, and I rolled for the wolf spiders and the spider den for both. It's also why I'm hoping next session the party runs into the 10 or the 14 roll encounter, because 10 is a wyrmling battle and 14 is a side adventure where the party deals with a cursed farmstead.

I also forgot to mention she was very reluctant at first to take the first quest, and so the beastmaster ranger rolls to convince her. Nat 20. I told she is so convinced that she needs to take this quest that she literally storms off to go tell the questgiver she accepts. And she just runs across town, past everything and everyone and she kicks the door open, goes to the guy, slams her hands on the table Pheonix Wright style and shouts "I WILL TAKE THE QUEST!". Rest of the party takes a minute to catch up, but they do, and thus began their journey.

[BlackFlyme]

Was short 2 players last session, but had one new player joining us. It was almost all roleplaying, so my big dumb Fighter with his paltry Class Skill list couldn't really help.

We had to go to a city to ally with their Council. We got into a fancy party one of the council members was hosting. Tons of checks to earn Banquet Points to earn her favour. We are following a pre-made adventure path, this isn't the DM just being funny. Didn't stop us from referring to it as Brownie Points.

Our Rogue was away, which is a shame, as most of the checks were stuff a Rogue would be good at. We needed sleight of hand checks, perception checks, and various knowledges to even attempt to eat the food. Then there were social skill checks to deal with. Some real high DCs, too; as high as 30 at times. Luckily we still got enough to impress her, thanks to the Swashbuckler getting most of the social checks with ease.

Thankfully the Orc player wasn't there that session, as he intentionally attempts to ruin social interactions in the game: he's playing a Chaotic-Neutral, dumb, violent, "pillage-and-rape" style Orc. He really should be Evil, with how he's been acting.

The hostess not only completely outclasses the players at this point (level 19 Witch versus level 7 players), but she will outright kill disruptive party members if they keep acting up after she's warned them and tried using enchantments on them.

[highmax28]

Had another session today with a different group and those of you who remember me talking about it, this is the one with my Vigilante. And oh god, this was proof we would make terrible investigators...

So the party is myself, two officers and two people taken from the local mafia. My character does not trust the Mafiosos at all, but the mayor of the town says we should get along and he hands us these badges to help us get in places (which I don't need because I'm the local superhero), and so our first case is given to us: deal with the Clockwork Killer, who seemed to be targeting watchmakers/clock vendors and trashing the place. We are also told to try to keep people alive, with emphasis on them, and also to try to avoid acting outside the law as much as we can, with emphasis on me.

We head to the most recent killing that took place that very morning and we investigate the place. I look for witnesses as one cop does fuck all since he's just muscle (he's like some hybrid of the rabbit from zootopia and captain america) and the other cop lost his sheet or something and had to redo it, so I was stuck doing everything by myself. The mafia folk end up finding that the site had all the digital clocks and clocks of a certain brand destroyed, they also talk to the man who was killed through speak with dead, and they also discover the killer was cloaked. What did I find out? The witness, the time of attack, the person who was killed and that was about it (again, by myself and the others aren't giving me any help with this).

So we find out who the owner of the brand of clock that was getting his stuff smashed in, and we end up splitting the party by law and mafia. The mafia decide to go see him in the morning at his office and we go to see him during the night at his estate. It is also at this point that I forgot that my character lacks any sort of transportation and he has to use (what I originally had as emergency uses) potions of flight to get around town at a decent speed (and my character is named Grey Fenris, so its rather strange to see a man clad to look more wolflike in appearance fly around town). So we end up at the place and we speak to the man, named Hamelton, and we speak to him in regards to what is going on. He gives us three names of the people who would most likely have a grudge against him, and our muscle tries to convince him to have officers protect him, but he declines. We call it a night for our group and we decide to investigate the POIs in the morning.

As for the morning, the Mafia goons try to get in to speak to him, but his secretary tells him, and i quote "He says 'Tell those fuckin' feds I already talked to them! Fuck off!' And those are his exact words". The mafioso that was a short temper and happens to be a magus isn't taking no for an answer and teleports into the room with his companion, who happens to be a mafioso who's rather low on the ladder and is trying to get higher up in the family. Immediately, Hamelton tells them they need a warrant to search here and his three bodyguards point their guns at him, and the "bad cop" (mafioso?) starts to get angry and threatens him by saying he's killed more for less, and then the lesser mafioso tells his companion to settle down (can you tell who "that guy" is played by?). The lower end mafia goon comes up with a plan to lure the clockwork killer and says that they can both benefit from him getting taken out, and Hamelton agrees and prepares to set the trap.

A while later, me and the officer whos just finishing his sheet go to the first POI's house, which was a halfling by the name of Mr. Cogsworth. We go to the door and knock, but no answer. I knock again, but wait a couple seconds and then try to kick the door in, but my vigilante is sneaky and intimidating, not strong. The cop goes and bull rushes the door open and he almost knocks the thing off the hinges and the halfling we're looking for runs out shirtless with a shotgun pointed at us and shouts something about not having rent, but then he sees me and he calms down, despite insulting me by saying "Hey, arent you that insane wazoo who keeps going around in a cape and all?" I sarcasticly respond yes, and he says "Oh, nice. I like your style" and he lowers the shotgun and he talks to us. We find out he was looking for jobs at the time of the murder and he has been hurting for money for the past three months (which is why he came after us with a shotgun because he thought we were his landlord). We also note that he isn't phased or anything by the mention of the clockwork killer, and without any more questions for him or anything, we leave, only to find out that Hamelton was kidnapped recently. Me, knowing the Mafia goons were going to meet with him, I freak out and head over there as fast as I can with the other cop.

The mafiosos get there first via teleport and they start looking for signs of forced entry when I arrive with my guns out and I ask where his buddy is, and he says hes there, and I calm down, knowing they're not stupid to come back if they did indeed take him. My character says "You better not have taken him. I know how you undergorund types work" and the lesser mafioso I'm talking to, who I intimidated earlier for asking me why I dress like a douchebag, was ready and willing to exchange notes. The magus comes down and says they found no magic in the office and I go to speak to the bodyguards who tell me that he went into the bathroom and never came out, with brass scratch marks on the floor. We start looking around and the DM says we're the worst investigators ever because we didn't ask the officers who arrived first anything while we're doing this, and when we did, we were given a note that had a riddle on it. The riddle wasn't hard, as it said at 3, Hamelton will die, and the riddle is discerned with my knowledge of the city and the magus' intelligence, which told us hes in one of the eleven clock towers, and while me and the officers go to the construction site of the eleventh tower, the mafiosos teleport to each clock tower, starting with 3 and 10 (due to the eleventh tower being an abandoned project and the the fact the clock strikes 3 could mean the third tower). They get to the tenth tower and they hear singing, and the magus tells me via telepathic bond that something is wrong at the tenth tower and could use backup. I had an ETA of 3 minutes via flying and the officers had an ETA of 10 minutes.

The mafiosos didn't wait for backup and went in, only to be greeted by three cloaked men and Hamelton being tied to clock gears and is being stretched by them. They start to fight but the lesser one (a swashbuckler) has trouble dealing with them due to poor rolls and the magus is pretty much stuck on his own. The three men then start casting scorching ray on the Magus at once and they dominate the swashbuckler to shoot his superior mafioso because he's tired of being pushed around, etc. And funnily enough, the swashbuckler shoots him 12 times (2 rounds worth) and knocks him unconcious. They stabalize the magus and go to take him away and the swashbuckler just stands and watches as he's dominated by this effect still, and that is when I finally arrive, and I see the mafioso not going against them, and that was where the session ended; as the Hero makes his grand entrance.

Gonna be hilarious because as soon as I enter I make an intimidation check to frighten them and since my bonus to intimidate is +32, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna scare them. Not to mention when I do that, I damage everyone who I intimidate with nonlethal damage due to a class feature, I'm probably going to knock out one or two of the now weakened cloaked figures and probably the swashbuckler. If not, my merciful dual weidling guns will... Especially since I'm just dropping down and firing my guns as I land and shoot the ones still standing.

I'm excited for the next session because my character specializes in combat and subduing enemies. And since this is the perfect time and place for a vigilante to use his class skills to its fullest.

As I said before, the Hero has arrived...

[BlackFlyme]

In this campaign, we had to take a fort from imperialistic assholes. They stole it first, to be fair.

Spoiler: Here be Hell's Rebels book 3 spoilers (click to show/hide)

And had little idea of how it worked. Full of hidden corridors and old traps. Seems like having "Fuck Everything" buttons is a common trope in Dwarven Fortresses.

Rather than get mobbed by the few dozen guards by starting shit at the front gates, we offered to work for them as mercenaries. We knew of the hidden destructo-lever, but not where, so we had to find some way to be able to explore relatively freely, in case a fight allowed some of the guards to flee for aid from a nearby city or something. The Wizard was placed to guard the armory, but didn't find anything. I switched spots with him at a later shift, but didn't see anything either. It was my Familiar that spotted the hidden door. After gathering everyone and exploring the hidden corridors a bit, we triggered a set of constructs, which animated and attacked us. We eventually found the lever, and a bound outsider whose job was to explain how the lever works. Clever dwarves made the whole room to be specifically protected from the Hell that would occur if the lever were to be pulled.

We were also able to find hidden entrances to many parts of the fort, including the leader's quarters, and shanked him in his sleep. Most of his loot was just vanity items such as jewelry, the vain bastard. We also looted the armory and treasury before we went back to the "panic room" to kickstart the apocalypse. This fort is at the bottom of an immense canyon. This lever caused the entire canyon to collapse, and basically ruin the landscape for miles, except for our panic room and a specially protected tunnel path that led out of the canyon.

Those Thrune bastards will have to take a several week detour around the ruins, much to our benefit.

[Jimmy]

I blinded half the party!

Threw a Lurker in the Light at them as a random encounter while they were travelling on the road. Two of the characters failed their Fort saves vs. Blindness SLA.

So the party, having nobody who can cure Blindness, decided to backtrack to one of the player's NPC contacts that lives nearby. Great character by the way, this NPC is named Allons Vhi. Whovianisms ahoy!

During the encounter they rescued a paralyzed NPC named Layla Kroft, an explorer of ancient ruins who lost her horse and all her gear after getting stung by a Spider Eater. I threw an adventure hook at them about a necromancer's castle she was intending to explore and they took the bait.

She's mentioned she wants to search it for a book written by the "greatest warrior that ever lived," which nobody has yet seemed interested in investigating. I plan to have the backstory be a mythical figure reputed to be the master who trained the Pathfinder god Irori while he was still a mortal, though the church considers anything mentioning him to be heretical.

The quest arc will be finding the ancient tomes of knowledge written by the great warrior, the first of which is a Manual of Gainful Exercise +1.

Each of the books will carry a flavor text associated with a Chuck Norris Fact.

Strength: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of great power. In response, the greatest warrior showed that he did not push himself up when training, he pushed the world down."

Dexterity: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of great speed. In response, the greatest warrior ran around the world fast enough to punch himself in the back of the head."

Constitution: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of endurance. In response, the greatest warrior replied that he never sleeps; he merely waits."

Intelligence: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of a great mind. In response, the greatest warrior counted to infinity - twice."

Wisdom: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of deep understanding. In response, the greatest warrior showed that he himself is the meeting of both an unstoppable force and an immovable object."

Charisma: "The student once asked the greatest warrior the secret of a strong self. In response, the greatest warrior revealed that he died decades ago, but death was simply to intimidated to come for him yet.

[NullForceOmega]

Return from vacation with my wife to find D&D on the fourth page, shame and sorrow to my house.  (this is a poorly disguised bump)