Game report:
We got off a ship in the biggest human city.
The human fighter rolled to intimidate the woman who came to greet us, I stabbed a guard to death. I am a shitty paladin.
I jumped in the water to avoid having to kill the other guards, the woman screamed and fell off the dock and drowned in sub-artic harbor.
The rest of the party claimed to have had nothing to do with it.
The party then made a beeline for the marketplace, until they found a merchant selling coffee.
The rogue tried to stab the merchant for his coffee beans and fell face-first into the stand, smashing it under his 7-foot bulk.
The merchant drew twin cutlasses and chased him down the street screaming while everyone else piled beans into sacks.
Meanwhile, I discovered that even if you can breathe underwater, it's very hard to climb a dockside wearing chainmail armor. Eventually I found someone with a crane.
After rejoining the party we ended up at a wizard's stall. The cleric bought a ring which turned out to be cursed, and decked the wizard. It escalated from there.
We only got out alive because the level 16 wizard flubbed all his spells and got decapitated by the frothing barbarian. As a Paladin, I scrupulously didn't see any of the combat, which was spent with my hands over my ears going "LA LA LA LA LA" over the sounds of "HIDEOUS LAUGHTER!" "WHY DOES NOTHING WORK!" MY LEG!".
Then we looted the body (or mutilated in the case of the barbarian) and ran before the town guard showed up to ask why we'd just killed the 400-year old founder of the city.
Meanwhile, the rogue was busy thwarting the GM's attempts to give us quests by murdering everyone as soon as they tried. Eventually he killed the bartender, took over the bar by rite of killing everything in it, then set the booze on fire and hid from the guards in the same tavern as us.
The next morning, I decided I was now official party leader until we got out of the city where fewer civilians would be turned into Johnny Inferno.
tbc