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Any D&D/D20

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[chaoticag]

Sooooorta. To be blunt, I've run a few games of anything before, so we're sticking to an adventure to help keep prep on my end less exhausting, since it's more a checklist than me making every NPC and encounter and monster. I've run a game before for my sister, but it was tough to have something for two other players, rather than a full party. So now we're doing it with her and her friends. I think I can handle new players alright at least. Put in some words about expectations and table etiquite, and I'm not running them by the rules or making them make character sheets since I don't wanna overwhelm them.

[BlackFlyme]

What do when a player won't shut up about how awesome his character was last time he played the adventure path your group is running, and how said character could solo us all?

My current plan is to coup-de-grace him in his sleep and use his bloodied corpse as our ship's new ram. I need to think up something worse in case he tries to kill my familiar again.

[UXLZ]

Which character is it? The stupid four-armed one?

[NullForceOmega]

chaoticag, that sounds pretty solid as a plan, if this adventure goes well you should probably walk them through character creation before you do another, so they get a solid feel for the rules.

Blackflyme, you must have the perseverance of a saint to stick with this group.

[BlackFlyme]

It's not the group I have any issues with.

It's this one player. Every. Damn. Time.

Seems like he's getting worse as time goes on. When I first started playing with him, it was mostly fine.

[NullForceOmega]

Boot his ass hard.  Disruptive players are cancer.

[UXLZ]

Or the idiocy of a goldfish... Seriously man, find a new group, or at least find a way to kick your problem player out. >_>

Plan: Spike his drink with sleeping poison, tie him down in a very secure fashion (perhaps get your undead Naga to coil around him as well) then torture at leisure. Proceed with your plan as normal after the fact.

[Rolan7]

My current plan is to coup-de-grace him in his sleep and use his bloodied corpse as our ship's new ram. I need to think up something worse in case he tries to kill my familiar again.

Yeah as I recall his reason for that was really shitty too.  You definitely have plenty of solid justification for that course of action.
You could even kill his *character* first.

[BlackFlyme]

Thing is, his 'super awesome' character he ran was a min-maxed, cheating munchkin, like most of his characters are.

It was a friggin' half dragon wizard. He would apply several metamagics to a single spell, without applying any penalties like increased cast time or casting from higher spell slots. He screwed the entire party over in that campaign because he refused to capture ships, which is where the majority of loot came from. He sank every ship to the bottom of the sea, and the party had next to no gold throughout the entire campaign.

And "I always kill that parrot when I play this campaign", "I hate parrots", and "I hate that parrot's catchphrase" are terrible excuses for routinely trying to murder my familiar. "It'd be funny" and "It'd make good roleplay" are worse. It best it's griefing, and at worst he has issues with me for some reason. He doesn't bitch out other players nearly as often as he targets me.

And he wants me to serve as a reference as he's trying to get into my workplace.

[flabort]

And he wants me to serve as a reference as he's trying to get into my workplace.

THAT reeks of opportunity to screw him back..

What you do is
1) Agree to be a reference
2) When called or asked about him, tell them about how bad he is at working in a team, then give a positive trait, then tell them about his superiority complex, then a positive trait, and then how he eats children (or something equally illegal that will get him arrested). Make sure you keep their interest by balancing the negative traits with positive until the end.
3)
4) Profit!

[BlackFlyme]

Eh, if they ask about him, I'll tell the truth. Nothing's more damning than that.

But we won't be needing workers any time soon.

[Arx]

Well, one of my friends has lost all grip on his sanity and is going to run a 5e campaign next month. I'm the only person in my meatspace friend group that's ever played D&D before, and never 5e, but the DM's a pretty smart guy so hopefully I'll come back with cool stories as opposed to Flyme's horror tales.

[NullForceOmega]

Cool, have fun.

[Kadzar]

Cool, have fun.

Indeed.

Meanwhile, based on a comment I made inspired by reading about Dark Sun's character tree concept, it seems I might be running my IRL D&D group's next 5e campaign.

The basic idea is that the PCs are part of an organization, like an adventuring guild or something, with a lot of members, which they regularly send out on different missions with different team compositions. This means that players can switch out whichever characters they want at the start of a new adventure without us having to spend a lot of time figuring out why one character is suddenly leaving while a new one takes their place, which is good, since people my group like to play a lot of different characters. It's also assumed that the characters not being played are busy with some other missions or tasks, to explain why we can't just bring everybody with us, and, if someone dies or whatever, we can have a replacement come by and not need to explain why we suddenly trust this new person who happened upon our group.

In addition to the character stuff, I'm thinking I might implement a magic item lending library, or whatever you might call it, where they contribute magic items to the guild pool, and thereby gain credit to be able to take out different magic items (since the NPC adventurers would find them too). This way, I can introduce a greater variety of magic items into the game without the players themselves having boatloads of the stuff to use at any time; they just get a certain loadout for the mission at hand, which can be switched up when they return to HQ.

Similarly, they'll gain access to things like airships and flying mounts, and their contact with foreign and exotic cultures and races will give them access to new kinds of mercenaries and spellcasters and other skilled NPCs, and possibly this might become a system to unlock new player races. Also, the NPC adventurers will bring back rumors and plot tokens tomes for studying, which will lead to more adventures.

To run things behind the scenes, I'd like to use something like Stars Without Number's faction system, reskinned for use in a fantasy setting. I haven't looked through it thoroughly, but this hack might do the trick.

[NullForceOmega]

Magic items, and Darksun?  Like the horribly rare items that use a permanent part of the planets life force as fuel and contribute to the continuing decline of all life on Athas?  The wonderfully powerful and attractive items that the Dragon Kings would brutally murder thousands of their own slaves/citizens to create or possess?  Well, good luck with that.  Unless I misunderstood and you were only referring to Darksun as an inspiration for this idea, in which case sorry.